“Christine, please,” Jasper started.
“No,” I said, pushing past him. “I need to get out of here. I’m going to the garden. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes, then you can lock me back in my room.”
“Christine, the baby! He needs to be safe!”
I pulled my robe tighter around me as I hurried down the hall. I could hear Jasper calling after me, but I didn’t stop. I needed this.
I didn’t realize I was shaking until I was sitting on one of the garden’s stone benches. I had never fought with someone like that, let alone my husband. I knew there was a possibility I could be in real trouble. I doubted Jasper would do anything, but I still didn’t like arguing with him. I was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. I broke down, my face in my hands, tears collecting on my face.
I didn’t realize the wolf was there until he began licking the tears away. I sat up, swiping at my eyes.
“Oh, hello,” I said. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
He rested his head on my lap, looking up at me.
“I’m fine,” I said, sniffling. “No, that’s a lie.”
He moved his head up, rubbing my belly. I stared at him in wonder.
“Can you tell?” I asked him. “Can you tell that I’m pregnant?”
He kept nuzzling my belly.
“That’s amazing,” I said, reaching down to pet him. “Yes, I’m expecting. I was happy about it, but things have been a little difficult lately. I just got in my first fight with my husband.”
The wolf looked up at me again, eyes wide.
“He’s being overly cautious. He won’t let me leave my bed. I feel trapped.”
I could feel myself becoming emotional again. Sobs racked my body. “I can’t handle it! I’m afraid I’ll go crazy, being cooped up like that. I promised him that after I come back inside, I’ll stay in my room, just like he asked. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.”
The wolf licked my face.
“I always feel better talking to you,” I admitted. “It’s cathartic. I’ve missed you.”
He licked me again.
“Where do you go when you’re not here?” I asked him. “I know you can’t answer me, but I do wonder.”
This time, he covered my face in kisses, and I couldn’t help but laugh. My heart lightened. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a hug.
Later that day, Annabelle came over to visit. I hadn’t been expecting her, and I suspected Jasper had requested that she call. I wasn’t surprised when she brought up my outburst from earlier.
“I heard things have been a little rough here today.”
“I’m sure you did,” I sighed.
“What happened?”
“Well, you know that I fainted the other day. Low blood pressure, the doctor said.”
“Right, I remember.”
“Since then, Jasper has kept me sequestered in here. I’m going stir–crazy. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I needed to get outside.”
“I think I’d feel the same way,” she said, making a stitch in her sampler.
“I know that he just wants me to be safe, but it’s maddening,” I said, watching her. I had given up on my sampler after dropping a stitch several minutes ago.
She paused, then looked at me. “I think he’s overly cautious because of what happened with Cecilia.”
My face burned. “Of course,” I mused. “She died in childbirth.”
“It was extremely tragic for him, for all of us. I think that Jasper got scared, and that he’s perhaps being far more cautious than he needs to be.”
“I feel a bit embarrassed now.”
“Don’t be. I’m sure he’s not upset with you. Are you feeling better now?”
“Still suffocated,” I admitted. “But I was able to vent to a friend, and that helped.”
“A friend?”
I looked down at my hands. “Did I tell you about the wolf I met?”
A smile tugged at her lips. “You did. You saw him today?”
“He sat and comforted me while I cried, and listened to me. It was wonderful,” I sighed.
“A male who listens? How exotic,” she teased. “What does he look like?”
“He’s snow white, with these beautiful blue eyes. Sort of like Jasper’s.”
“I can imagine,” she said, focusing on her eyes back to her sampler again. “You told him everything?”
“Yes. I’m probably lucky he didn’t understand any of it. And he could tell that I’m pregnant!”
“Animals are amazing,” she said simply, still focused on her needle.
“Yes. I wish I could take him in as a pet,” I said, “although I suspect he’d get even more bored than I am. It was really nice to be able to spill my feelings and feel like someone was listening, though. It was a relief.”
Annabelle made a final stitch and then held the sampler out in front of her. “Well, if it’s any sort of consolation, I think Jasper will come around soon,” she said.
I sighed. “I hope you’re right.”
Later that night, Jasper knocked on my door. I was in my nightgown, brushing out my hair. Not expecting anyone at the door, I opened it. I wasn’t sure how to feel when I saw him standing there, holding another cup of tea.
“It’s chamomile this time,” he said, holding the teacup out to me. “I thought it might help you relax.”
“Thank you,” I said, taking the cup from him. I was preparing to close the door in his face when he held onto the edge.
“May I come in?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Of course,” I said.
He followed me into the room, shutting the door behind him. I sat down on my bed, setting the cup and saucer on the table next to me. He came and sat at the edge of the bed, just a little too far away for a couple that had been so happy just days before.
“I wanted to apologize,” he said.
I waited.
He looked down at his hands. “As you know, I lost my wife and son in childbirth several years ago. It’s been brought to my attention that this has made me overprotective of you, and that’s not fair. You’ve been telling me for days that you were feeling trapped, and I didn’t listen to you. I was surprised when you ran away earlier, but I shouldn’t have been. I’ve been sheltering you too much. Is there any kind of compromise we can reach, do you think?” he asked me.
I thought about it for a moment. “How about this. I’m allowed to move freely in the house or gardens, but if I go outside of here, I have to have someone accompany me.”
“May I make an amendment?” he asked. “If you start feeling ill or faint, you have Bridget accompany you out of the bedroom for a few days afterward.”
“I can agree to that,” I said. “Is it possible to cut down on the doctor visits?”
He considered. “Once a week. I won’t go any less than that.”
I nodded. “I’ll take it.” I moved over closer to him, taking his hand. “Thank you.”
He laughed. “No, thank you, Christine, for putting up with a madman like me.”
I rested my head on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t want you any other way,” I said.
He leaned down and our lips met, softly at first, then more urgently. We’d had our first fight, and now we were making up for the first time. Jasper pulled away for a moment, cradling my face in his hands.
“I love you, Christine,” he said, his voice serious. For a moment, I was speechless. It was the first time I had heard those words from him.
“I love you too, Jasper.”
I smiled at him, but I was still unsure.
Chapter Eighteen
Jasper kept his word and I kept mine. If I was ever feeling ill or unsteady, I had Bridget by my side, and in turn, Jasper reduced my doctor visits to once per week. It still seemed a little much to me, but I acquiesced to keep him happy. Still, I grew restless. My routine around Wolf’s Peak was beginning to get tedious, so when Annabelle offered to take me into town, I jum
ped at the chance.
“I thought we could buy baby things,” she said.
“That would be wonderful,” I told her. “I don’t even know what I need.”
She began ticking things off on her fingers. “A bassinet for when the baby is first born, and a crib for when it’s a little older. Diapers, baby clothes. A dresser would be good, to store those in. A rocking chair—you’ll definitely need that.”
“Are we going to be able to take all of that back with us today?” I asked her.
“We’ll probably have to have a few things delivered.” She lowered her voice. “Jasper may have some of this, from when Cecilia was pregnant, but I don’t think we should ask him.”
“I agree. It might be too painful.”
“Do you know what room you want to use for the nursery?” she asked.
“I thought perhaps the room next to mine.”
She grinned. “Perfect. It’s such a hideous olive color. I’ve been wanting to repaint it for years.”
We loaded into the carriage and rode into town. Annabelle pointed out sights, like her house and the hall where she and Stephen had been married. It made her very nostalgic.
“My dress was lovely,” she sighed. “The same designer as yours, although not nearly as lavish. I was happy, though.”
“How long have you been married?”
“Three years. We courted for one before that, but I grew up with Stephen. I decided I was going to marry him when I was ten.”
“That’s adorable,” I said.
She smirked. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to strangle him sometimes, though.”
I laughed.
“Are you hungry?” she asked me. “There’s a great little pub up here with fantastic fish and chips. Stephen and I go there all the time when we’re able to get out of the house alone.”
“That sounds fantastic,” I told her. “I was hoping we’d stop. I haven’t eaten yet, and I think Jasper would get upset if he knew.”
“That’s right. No swooning on my watch.”
“I’ll do my best,” I replied dryly.
“I’m only teasing. I used to get very cranky if I was hungry. When I was further along, Daniel would kick me if I got too hungry.”
“I can’t wait,” I sighed, resting my hand on my belly. “What does it feel like?”
“When the baby kicks?” she thought about it. “Sort of like someone is beating a drum from inside your stomach.”
“That’s a less whimsical description than I was hoping for.”
“I think it’s different for everyone,” she said. “My sister said it felt like particularly violent butterflies.”
“That’s…better? I suppose?”
She laughed as the carriage pulled up to the restaurant. “Here we are,” she chirped.
The driver opened the door for us, helping first me and then Annabelle down with a gloved hand. I took a look around me. The town was quaint, with businesses lining both sides of the cobblestone streets. A few people were milling about, glancing at us as we opened the door to the restaurant.
“Sort of reminds me of when we first met,” Annabelle said as we were seated. “Only this time, you’re a higher station than I am.”
“Don’t say that,” I begged. “That sounds so pretentious.”
“I worked hard to get you here,” she said.
“I have so many questions about that. How did you find me? What made you look for me?”
A server dropped off some bread and cups of tea at our table, promising to be back to take our order.
“I was wondering if you’d ever ask,” Annabelle said, taking some of the bread. “Jasper hadn’t held an interest in any girl since Cecilia died. Which was completely understandable; he was still mourning. Then, a few days before the interviews, he mentioned that he had gone to your father’s funeral and seen you there. He spoke of you with a fondness I hadn’t heard him use in years. I knew I had to find you. Once I got to Ervine, it was just a matter of asking around. Took a while; I actually arrived the day before I found you and hadn’t had much luck.”
“He talked about me?” I was intrigued.
“He wouldn’t stop talking about you. He became very nostalgic, then expressed concern that you were looking haggard and thin. Once I brought you to Wolf’s Peak, he couldn’t stop asking about you, making sure you were all right, even though you clearly didn’t remember him.”
“That’s sweet,” I said, looking down at my plate.
Our server came back.
“What can I get for you, Lady Randolph?” he asked.
Annabelle ordered a plate of fish and chips, and then the server turned to me.
“And for you, miss—”
“Wolfric,” Annabelle supplied. “Mrs. Wolfric, I suppose.”
His face went white as he turned to me. “My apologies, my lady. I had no idea.”
“What? No, that’s fine. You didn’t know,” I said, taken aback.
“What can I get you, your grace?” he asked, doing a sort of awkward bow.
I shifted uncomfortably. “I’ll just have what she ordered,” I said.
“Yes, my lady. Right away.” He hurried off toward the kitchen.
“That was awkward,” I said, taking a sip of my tea.
“You’d better get used to it,” she said. “You’re a duchess now. People will treat you a little differently.”
I glanced around the restaurant. “Does that include staring?”
Annabelle turned in her chair. Almost everyone had their eyes on us, either glancing surreptitiously or outright staring. “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” she muttered.
“Do I look funny?” I asked.
She giggled. “No, Christine. They’re just sort of struck. They’ve never seen you before, although I’m sure they’ve heard about you. You’re their duchess. This is probably the most excitement they’ve had in weeks.”
“That’s depressing.”
Our food was brought to us quickly, much more quickly, I suspected, than it would have if we weren’t married to aristocracy. We ate, still under scrutiny from the rest of the patrons. I was relieved when we stepped out into the street.
The shop Annabelle planned to take me to was just down the street, so we walked instead of riding. People still glanced at us out here, although it wasn’t as overt. Even so, I hurried us along until we could duck into the shop.
“This is adorable,” I gasped, looking around. One section of the store was all tiny baby clothes, another for furniture. Mobiles hung from the ceiling as decoration.
“Lady Randolph,” said a woman coming out of the back room. “It’s so wonderful to see you!” She enveloped Annabelle in a hug, then turned to me. “And you must be the duchess. It’s such a pleasure to meet you, your grace. Annabelle told me you’d be coming. I haven’t allowed anyone inside for the last half hour.”
“That’s so nice of you,” I said, shaking her hand.
“It was at Annabelle’s request,” she said.
“I had our driver go down and let Mrs. Ramsey know,” Annabelle explained. “I thought perhaps a little privacy would be nice while we shopped.”
“It will be wonderful,” I sighed.
“Now, what all are you looking for today?” Mrs. Ramsey asked.
“Everything,” Annabelle said. “But let’s start with the crib and bassinet.”
She looked to me for confirmation, but I only shrugged. “You’ve done this before, so I’ll follow your lead,” I told her.
“Now, are you looking for wood or metal?” Mrs. Ramsey asked. I glanced at Annabelle.
“Metal, for sure,” she said. “We have a wooden crib for Daniel, and we had to cover the rails with felt because he kept biting them. They have little teeth marks on the inside now.”
“Metal is fine,” I told Mrs. Ramsey.
There were different colored metals, but I chose a shiny brass, unpainted so it shown natural gold.
“Do you know what color you want for the nursery
?” Annabelle asked as we browsed.
“I thought perhaps a pale green, like a sage,” I said. “It seems gender–neutral.”
“It will go lovely with the brass,” she sighed. “I love it. We did yellow for Daniel’s room, and sometimes when I go in there in the mornings it’s so bright I feel like my eyes will melt right out of my skull.”
“That’s incredibly graphic,” I told her as we picked out a similarly–styled bassinet and a white dresser with brass knobs.
“A rocking chair,” Annabelle reminded me. “You need a rocking chair. One with a footrest. It’s essential.”
“I believe you,” I told her as we made our way to that corner of the store. Mrs. Ramsey had one that coordinated with the dresser. The cushions were white with a gold pattern, and I thought it would go perfectly in the nursery I was imagining. We picked out a few toys and books that I thought were precious.
“Let’s look at clothes,” Annabelle said, linking her arm with mine. She pulled me back to the front of the store, where curious women were peeking at us through the window. She completely ignored them, holding up a little outfit instead.
“It’s so tiny,” I said, taking the soft fabric in my hands. “Are they really this small?”
“I’m not sure how else you would get them out,” Annabelle quipped.
I added a few little outfits to our purchase.
“After the baby is born, I’ll come back and buy you some more things,” Annabelle promised. “I still come in here all the time to shop for Daniel.”
“Is that why you’ve got a pile of clothes in your hand?”
She paused for a moment. “Don’t tell Stephen,” she said.
Through some creative stacking, we managed to fit all our purchases plus ourselves into the carriage. It was a bumpy ride home, but ultimately we all survived. When we arrived at Wolf’s Peak we extricated ourselves carefully and watched as the driver and Mr. Potter hauled the furniture upstairs. Annabelle and I followed behind excitedly as they placed each piece into the room next to mine.
“You’re right, this room is hideous,” I said, looking around. It was still nicer than any room I had ever stayed in, but compared to the rest of Wolf’s Peak, it was dingy. Very little light filtered through the heavy curtains, and the light that did was speckled with dust. The walls were an ugly green, the wood framing accented with gold.
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