“And, uh”—Coyote looked both ways, whispering—“did Scraps leave around any of that really, really good bourbon?”
Yashar smiled broadly, pulling a weathered old bottle from under the bar. “That he did.”
“Line ’em up.”
Yashar set down two glasses and poured three fingers in each. “So why’d you do it? Really, I mean.”
“Do what?”
Yashar scowled.
“You want the truth?”
“Unvarnished,” said Yashar.
“Nobody likes the truth.”
“I want the truth.”
Coyote nodded soberly, sipping his whiskey. “Most people can’t read the writing on the wall even when it’s screamed at them. They hate the truth. The truth makes them angry. The truth is heartbreak and poverty and unhappy endings. They believe there is power in numbers, no matter how dumb the numbers. They believe in one true love. They believe that living well pays off in the end. They believe in the magic of childhood. The truth is, we’re all alone, even when surrounded. The truth is that someone’s one true love ended up a thirty-euro whore in an Amsterdam brothel. The truth is that people die old, unrewarded and unloved. The truth is, children get hit by cars and don’t come home. So you have to lie. They like lies. It helps them cope with the truth. And if you lie just right, you can get them to do what they have to do to find their truth.”
“So, you lie.”
“When it doesn’t pay to tell the truth. You told Colby the truth when he asked for his wish, but it took me to show it to him. You showed him the world, but I showed him how the world really worked.”
“And what did you get out of it?”
“Colby Stevens. It started out about ending the Tithe, but what I got was Colby Stevens. With the blood of a few I made him the man who would protect many. You’re too close to him. You can’t see his destiny, can you? What he could become, given the right poking and prodding? You helped make a great man. But he needed to do this first.”
Yashar slammed back the bourbon, pouring himself another three fingers of it. “To watch his friend die? To become a killer?”
“A killer, pfff.” He shook his head, sipping his drink. “I am life’s hard lesson, Yashar. The source of man’s humility. Colby needed to learn something, the fairies needed to learn something, those two kids needed to learn something. Everyone had a lesson waiting, and they learned it with blood. Sometimes that’s how it goes. People learn from failure and tragedy, not success.”
“Well, if you’re the source of man’s humility, what does that make me?”
Coyote winked from behind his glass. “His road to hell, paved with good intentions.”
Deflated, Yashar quickly finished his drink and immediately poured himself his third.
Coyote continued. “You know better than anyone that nothing lasts. Nothing good. Nothing bad. Everything lives. Everything dies. Sometimes cities just fall into the sea. It’s not a tragedy, that’s just the way it is. People look around them and see the world and say this is how the world is supposed to be. Then they fight to keep it that way. They believe that this is what was intended—whether by design or cosmic accident—and that everything exists in a tenuous balance that must be preserved. But the balance is bullshit. The only thing constant in this world is the speed at which things change. Rain falls, waters rise, shorelines erode. What is one day magnificent seaside property in ancient Greece is the next resting thirty feet below the surface. Islands rise from the sea and continents crack and part ways forever. What was once a verdant forest teeming with life is now resting one thousand feet beneath a sheet of ice in Antarctica; what was once a glorious church now rests at the bottom of a dammed-up lake in Kansas. The job of nature is to march on and keep things going; ours is to look around, appreciate it, and wonder what’s next?”
“Not everything dies,” said Yashar.
“Everything. One day even you.”
“And you?”
Coyote nodded, a wistful, sad look in his eye. “Even me. Coyotes are not long for this earth. Within a century man will have wiped out every beast that walks that poses any sort of threat to him. One day my people will be gone and there will be no more need for me. Then I’ll get to see if there is some great reward for the burden I’ve borne. Perhaps I will see my friends Mammoth, Dodo, and Saber Tooth again. I miss them.
“The mortals live lives so short that they hail us as timeless beings; after a while we begin to believe it. I look at you and see someone weighed down by the thought of living forever and think, Oh, he’s just a baby. He has no idea what eternity even is. I surely don’t. But I know how long fifteen hundred years can feel.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because your story isn’t over. You’ve much more yet to do and none of it involves being cooped up in a bar, serving drinks to shadows. Colby has a long road ahead and he needs a guide.”
“I thought you said I was the road to hell.”
Coyote nodded. “I didn’t say he’d like where he was going.” The two shared a moment of quiet understanding, each sipping his bourbon. “You know the kids’ funerals are tomorrow.”
Yashar nodded. “Yeah. I do.”
“And you know Colby’s going to need you there.”
“He doesn’t want to see me right now.”
“No, he doesn’t. But he needs to.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
ON GHOSTS AND THINGS OF THE PAST
An essay by Dr. Thaddeus Ray, Ph.D., from his book The Everything You Cannot See
There are no such things as ghosts. Every place has a memory. Just as a rock may carry a scar from a scratch, so too can a field of energy. When powerful enough energies or emotions affect a field, it can warp or distort those of the surrounding area for years, even decades. If, however, those scars are fueled by dreamstuff, especially the dreamstuff of the thing that caused that scar, the result is a shadow.
This shadow is nothing more than energy reflected through warped space. It is a hologram. It can interact with other energy fields around it, but it does not think or feel. Shadows cannot be reasoned with or express themselves in any way outside of the emotions that created them. If they were born of malice, they will be cruel. If they were born of love, they will be joyful. While they can share the information stored on the scar, they cannot collect anything new or possess any memory outside of that which made them.
Haunted houses are often the result of space warped by emotion over time. Sometimes this can occur from sudden, massive damage, like a traumatic event or even a particularly joyful one, but more often than not it occurs naturally, like water eroding rock to form a riverbed. The energy left behind will often express itself by passing through the cracks and fissures in the field. Scars found in particularly dreamstuff-rich areas will often see more activity as additional energy flows through them, keeping a shadow active far longer than it ordinarily might be.
But ghosts as untethered souls unable to find rest? They don’t exist. The Devil catches every crumb that spills off Heaven’s plate.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
TWO IN A FIELD
The sonorous melancholy of the fairy dirge carried for miles through the woods. Even as far away as Colby and Yashar stood from the singing, the tinkling of instruments and the magic of the voices still resonated. They were in the Limestone Kingdom, standing just outside the field where Colby, Ewan, and Mallaidh had once played—just beyond the point where once they had escaped a pack of redcaps. The whole of the kingdom had gathered to say good-bye to the dozens of fairies they’d lost. Colby, Yashar, and the golden retriever Gossamer stood together to say good-bye to just two.
A pair of gray stone monuments, each one carved in the likeness of his friends, stood overlooking two small dirt mounds, beneath which lay the scant remains of Mallaidh and Ewan, a handful of flower petals under one, and a dried red cap under the other.
“Is this how I’ll end up?” asked Colby, breaking a long,
strained silence.
“Only if you keep making enemies,” replied Yashar.
“No, I mean . . .”
“I know what you mean,” said Yashar, “and I don’t know. I’m not sure death would be the worst thing that could happen to you. People shun you, the fairies are scared to death of you, and even the fucking angels can’t stand you anymore. The worst thing that could happen to you now is to be cursed with my life—a long one, filled with monstrous deeds that go wrong no matter how well intentioned.”
“The sum of a man isn’t the things he’s done, it is the world he leaves behind.”
“What?”
“It’s something Bertrand said. One day, no matter what, you and I will both be dust and dreamstuff, and the total of our lives won’t be the things we did to survive, but the things we did to change the world.
“You’ve spent a millennium tethered to the dreams of children and watched as those dreams grew up to face reality. In your cowardly way of playing it safe, you never offered anyone a wish that could truly change the world, and thus you’ve always had to sit by and watch as that unchanged world weighed down upon your dreamers, crushing them. While it’s true that children rarely want anything messy, they also never want anything but that which they want for themselves. It’s no wonder you hate the world you live in; you’ve spent the entirety of your existence feeding its most childish urges.” Colby looked Yashar in the eye. “Maybe it’s time you wished a little bigger.”
“What are you saying?” asked Yashar.
“If we’re going to be monsters, let us be monsters of purpose. Let’s do something. Something real.”
Yashar shrugged. “Like your thing with the Tithe?”
“Exactly like that. If these things are going to fear me, let’s make it count.”
The two looked out into the field, tall grass waving in the wind. Two young figures emerged from the dark.
Yashar looked at Colby.
“I know they’re not real,” said Colby.
“Come back, Colby,” shouted one of the figures, waving an arm in the air. “Come play with us!”
“Yeah, Colby,” said the other. “Come and play!”
“That doesn’t change anything, though, does it?” asked Yashar. “You still want to go.”
“I’m not that kid anymore.”
“But you’re happy to see them.”
“It’s not really them.”
Yashar looked at him incredulously. “What are you talking about? That is them.”
“No, it’s a reflection.”
“A reflection of their energy. Energy you sent out into the wild. They just wanted to find each other and they did. You did that. This just happened to be the place their energy ran to. Don’t discount that.”
Colby nodded, lost in the moment. “No one chooses where or when they’ll find perfection, but I want to believe everyone finds it at least once. I guess this was theirs.”
“Where’s yours?” asked Yashar.
“I’ll know it when I find it.”
“That sounds oddly hopeful.”
“I’ve gotta believe in something. This is as good a thing as any, I suppose.” Colby reached into a battered backpack, pulling from it a worn-out, faded, sweat-stained old bear. He smiled, gently placing Mr. Bearston on the ground atop Ewan’s grave. Then he raised an arm to the two figures in the field and waved.
“Bye, Colby!” the two shouted.
One figure leaned in to kiss the other on the cheek, running off into the tall grass to play. The remaining figure smiled at Colby and then followed the other, vanishing into the field.
Colby looked at Yashar, nodding. “You know your job’s not done yet, right?”
“Which one?”
“My wish,” said Colby. “I haven’t seen everything yet.”
“No, you really haven’t.”
Colby whistled. “Come on, Gossamer. Let’s go home.”
EPILOGUE
Once upon a time there were three young fairies, a Green Man, a Lutin, and a Sidhe. One day they found themselves playing in the woods. The young Green Man ran ahead and came to a tree line at the edge of the forest. The Lutin and Sidhe ran swiftly behind him, yelling for him to stop.
“Don’t step out of the woods!” yelled the Lutin.
“Why not?” asked the Green Man, about to set foot beyond the trees.
“Because past those trees is Austin,” said the Sidhe.
“What’s Austin?” asked the Green Man.
“Austin is where the Colbyman lives,” said the Sidhe.
“Yeah,” agreed the Lutin.
“What’s a Colbyman?” asked the Green Man.
The Lutin and the Sidhe looked at each other and laughed. “You don’t know what the Colbyman is?”
The Green Man shook his head. “No.”
“He’s the taker of fairy children,” said the Lutin.
The Sidhe nodded. “He sneaks into your camp at night and steals fairy children out of their cradles, two at a time. Always two at a time. And any fairy who steps outside of the Limestone Kingdom and into Austin gets turned into flowers.”
“Flowers?” asked the Green Man. “That’s stupid.”
“No, it’s true,” said the Lutin. “He points at you and turns you to flowers. And you never turn back. My mom saw it with her own eyes.”
The Green Man didn’t believe a word of it. “There’s no monster called the Colbyman and there’s no such place as Austin.”
“There is!” said both the Sidhe and Lutin at once.
“Come on,” said the Sidhe. “Let’s go back to camp.”
“Are you scared?” asked the Green Man.
“No,” said the Sidhe, lying.
“I think you’re scared,” said the Green Man.
“Uh-uh!” shouted the Sidhe.
The Green Man put both hands on his hips and smiled. “Then I dare you to cross the tree line.”
“Let’s just go back home,” said the Lutin.
“No,” said the Green Man. “I dare you to go into Austin.”
“Well, I double-dare you to go into Austin,” said the Sidhe.
The Green Man stopped smiling.
“You have to accept a double dare,” said the Sidhe. “Or else.”
The Green Man swallowed hard. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll go. I don’t believe he exists.” The Green Man turned back around and took two steps toward the tree line, standing right on the edge. He hovered a foot over the other side. And just as he was about to put his foot down, something grabbed his arm.
The Green Man jumped, startled. He screamed.
When he looked back, he saw Coyote holding his arm.
“Don’t make fun of me, Coyote!” the Green Man demanded. “I’m about to go to Austin.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” said Coyote.
“You believe in him too?” asked the Green Man.
Coyote nodded. “Believe in him? I’ve seen him.”
“I told you!” said the Lutin.
“You three run along now. You shouldn’t be playing this close to Austin.”
“Yes, Coyote,” said the children in unison. Then they all ran off back to camp, none of them admitting how scared they really were.
Coyote turned, looking out over the outskirts of the city. Then he looked back at the scared children. And he laughed and he laughed and he laughed, enjoying the best joke that the great trickster had ever played.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
C. ROBERT CARGILL has written for Ain’t It Cool News for more than a decade under the pseudonym Massawyrm, served as a staff writer for Film.com and Hollywood.com, and appeared as the animated character Carlyle on spill.com. He is the screenwriter of the film Sinister. He lives and works in Austin, Texas.
cRobertCargill.com | Follow @Massawyrm
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CREDITS
Cover design by Adam Johnson
Cover photographs: sky © by Philippe Sainte-Laudy Photography/Getty Images; cityscape © by Yurkaimmortal/Shutterstock Images
Images courtesy of Shutterstock © 2012
COPYRIGHT
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
DREAMS AND SHADOWS. Copyright © 2013 by C. Robert Cargill. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
ISBN 978-0-06-219042-0
Epub Edition © March 2013 ISBN: 9780062190444
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Dreams and Shadows: A Novel Page 37
