When Autumn Ends

by Beth Rinyu

  Toward the end was when things started getting really bad. We were drifting farther and farther away while my success continued to grow. Her moods were becoming more unhinged to the point that I was afraid for Nolan to be with her alone. The more she accused me of doing something I wasn’t doing, the more she was pushing me into doing those things with the other women I had falling at my feet. Was I the perfect husband? Not by any means. But regardless of my differences with Darrah, I was a good dad who loved my little boy with all my heart. If I had known what I know now, I would have changed so much with the way I handled things.

  “How long were you married?” Jenna was gentle with her inquiry.

  “Four years.” I wanted to give her more than the vague replies I was spewing. I wanted to tell her everything and break those chains that had been holding me captive, but it was killing me inside just to muster the strength to come up with my one-word answers.

  We stopped walking and she stared up at me with the most beautiful smile stretching across her face.

  “I do believe I just peeled that very first layer away.”

  I looked out at the water, not wanting to acknowledge that maybe she was right. She took me off guard when she reached up and placed her hand on my cheek, and turned my head to look at her.

  “It wasn’t so bad after all, was it?”

  “Jenna, you have no idea what’s hidden underneath.”

  “I’m not afraid to find out, and I promise I’ll wait for however long it takes to get there...no pressure. We’ll take everything at your pace, Ethan Banks.”

  I closed my eyes and breathed in the cool, salty air, wondering if the woman standing beside me was just a figment of my imagination. Was she a cruel joke my mind was playing on me, only to be taken from me without warning? I wasn’t sure what fate had in store for us, but for the here and now, I was going to be thankful for every second I had with her. She cleared my head of the ghosts that haunted me. She helped me breathe when I didn’t think I had any breath left in me, and she was cracking the seal on my heart—a heart that stopped beating a year ago, but with each passing day Jenna made that rhythm return ever so slightly.

  Chapter 15

  Jenna

  THE WEEKS PASSED BY AND my home was finally inhabitable, thanks in large part to Ethan, who’d lessened the carpenter’s to-do list more and more by taking on most of the work himself. He was so meticulous with his work, and if I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn that carpentry was his first profession. He ignored my protests over paying him and went about his business like a machine. The most payment he’d accept from me was an occasional dinner and the use of the washer and dryer. He hadn’t opened up to me anymore about his past, and he still hadn’t told me about his real profession. I was okay with that. I enjoyed spending time with Ethan Banks. He was humble, sweet, and still so mysterious. Something told me Jonathan Reed was a totally different person.

  I was impressed with my ability to pack up my apartment in a day. The moving company delivered all my things, including my bedroom furniture over a week ago, so I was now sleeping in my home instead of at the inn. It felt kind of lonely in this big old house by myself, and I missed knowing that Ethan was in the room right next door.

  I’d also faced the wrath of my mother over my broken wedding plans. Just as expected she was angry and didn’t understand why I was choosing to work like a dog when I could have the perfect life with Brad. Little did she know, Brad was far from perfect. I tried to assure her that I knew best about what I wanted from life, and it didn’t include being married to Brad. But like always, she thought she knew what was best for me and argued the fact. I let her go on and on before politely hanging up and letting her know we’d continue the conversation when she was able to see my side of things a little better. Two weeks later, and that conversation had yet to take place. Thankfully, my father and sister were a lot more understanding of my actions, so at least I had some of my family in my corner.

  Brad’s second chances stance went out the window after receiving three texts from him. The first telling me how much he missed me, the second asking me to please call him, and third calling me a bitch for not acknowledging the first two. I had nothing to say to him. Everything that needed to be said was taken care of on that day I broke off the engagement. And after having some time to think about it, I was angry at myself for taking all the blame for our failed relationship and allowing him to put his hands on me the way he had.

  Ethan would never lay his hands on a woman in anger. I sensed that just by the way he reacted when he’d seen the bruises on my wrists that day. I hated comparing Ethan to Brad, but with each passing day I was finding myself doing it more and more. When it came down to it, there really was no comparison. Yes, they were both successful men with their careers. Ethan maybe more so than Brad because he had the fame component that went with that success, but he never lost sight of who he was because of it. Maybe it was because he was trying to keep a low profile by hiding who he really was. In all honesty, I didn’t know the man behind the pen name, I just knew what little he chose to show me of his real self, and so far, I was really liking that part of him.

  I stepped back and stared at the first bit of paint I’d slapped on the wall. “What do you think of the color?” I asked Ethan as he came up behind me.

  “You’re not going to be able to tell until you put another coat on and let it dry, but I think it’s gonna look good. Please don’t tell me you’re changing your mind after you bought three cans of it…not to mention it took you three hours to decide on that color.”

  “Ha...you’re so funny.” I grinned. I loved when the playful side in him came out. It didn’t happen often, but when it did it always managed to put a smile on my face.

  I put in my earbuds, cranked up my iPod, and continued with my painting while Ethan ran next door. I was singing along to Taylor Swift when I nearly jumped out of my skin at the tap on my shoulder. “Oh my God!” I shouted, ripping my earbuds from my ears. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to smack or hug Amelia as she stood behind my cracking up over my hysteria.

  “Taylor better watch out with a voice like yours!” She grinned.

  “Amelia, what are you doing here?” I put down my paintbrush and threw my arms around her.

  “Hey, don’t I get a hug too?” Dan, her husband, asked.

  “Well, of course you do!” I smiled, pulling him into my embrace. “You guys! This is the best surprise ever!”

  “I told you we were going to get down here, sooner or later. Jen, the place looks awesome.”

  “It really does.” Dan nodded in agreement.

  “Thanks, but believe me, I’ve had a lot of help.”

  “Hmm…speaking of that help. Please tell me you’ll introduce me to him. You know I’m a total fangirl.”

  Dan rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Why are you fangirling over someone you never met when you have me?” he teased.

  Amelia smirked and waved her hand in a dismissing manner.

  “Yeah, sure, but, Amelia, you cannot tell him you know who he really is. He still hasn’t told me, and I don’t want him to feel awkward about it by you just blurting it out. So, you have to keep it under control. Got it?”

  “Fine!” She sighed heavily. “Well, where is he?”

  “He had to get his phone next door. I mean it, Amelia…he’s just a normal guy. Okay?”

  “Okay. Okay!” she agreed.

  My stomach dropped when I heard the front door open and saw the smile that was plastered across Amelia’s face. I was hoping she could keep her promise and act normal. “Ethan.” My voice cracked when he entered the parlor. “This is my best friend, Amelia, and her husband, Dan.”

  “Hey.” Amelia’s normal gruff voice was weak and sweet.

  I exchanged a nervous glance with Dan as Amelia approached Ethan.

  “Nice to meet you,” Ethan said, shaking Amelia’s hand and then Dan’s.

  “This place looks amazing!” Dan remarked, b
reaking up Amelia’s drool fest she had going on.

  “Yeah, it’s really getting there,” Ethan agreed.

  “Ethan, why don’t you take Dan upstairs and show him what you did to the floors in the bedrooms? They are beyond gorgeous.”

  Ethan nodded, and Dan followed him up the stairs, the two of them instantly hitting it off as Dan began to pick his brain on the work he’d done.

  “Oh my God! Oh my God!” Amelia finally released what she’d been holding in once they were out of earshot. “Jen, he is…” She shook her head and placed her hand over her heart. “How in the world have you managed to not jump his bones?”

  “Stop. It’s not like that between us. We’re just…friends.” I raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

  “Hello…have you heard of friends with benefits?”

  “So, what’s new with you?” I asked, totally ignoring her last statement.

  “Well…” She smiled and smoothed down her shirt. “Do I look any different?”

  I studied her face for anything new, then her blond shoulder-length bobbed hair—same hairdo as always.

  “Not up there, silly. Down here.” She slid her hand down her belly.

  “Oh my God! You’re pregnant!”

  A huge grin spread across her face and she nodded.

  “Congratulations!” I threw my arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. “When?”

  “April.”

  “Amelia, I’m so happy for you guys!” I hugged her once again. Everyone I knew was just starting out with their lives, getting married and having babies, and here I was running away from all that. “I can’t wait to find out—” I stopped mid-sentence and we both turned our heads in the direction of the front door upon hearing it open. My stomach sank to my knees when my eyes focused in on Brad.

  “Brad, what are you doing here?” My voice shook, and Amelia grabbed my hand in support.

  “You won’t answer my texts. You won’t call me. What other choice did you leave me?”

  “There’s nothing left to say.” I swallowed the lump in my throat as he came closer.

  “Can you excuse us, Amelia? I want to talk to Jenna in private,” he snapped.

  “No. Whatever you need to say to me can be said in front of Amelia.”

  “Oh, that’s right. I forgot you two don’t have any secrets. You’re probably the one who told her to break up with me, and since Jenna can’t think for herself, she listened.”

  Amelia let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Believe me, Brad, if she’d listened to me that easily the two of you would have broken up a long time ago.”

  I squeezed Amelia’s hand tighter. I could see the fury in his eyes deepening, and I didn’t want her to say any more to intensify that anger.

  “You’re a fuckin’ bitch,” he whispered to Amelia.

  “Thank you. Coming from you that’s a compliment,” she replied.

  I bit my bottom lip, wishing she’d just ignore him.

  “Brad, you need to leave. This is my home, and I will not allow you to just barge in and treat my friends this way,” I finally spoke up.

  “Treat your friends this way? Treat your fuckin’ friends this way, Jenna!” he shouted. “I’m so glad you care so much about how your friends are treated, when you didn’t give a damn about how you treated me by calling off our wedding. It was so easy for you to just run away from it all, leaving me with all the explaining to do to my family and colleagues.”

  I lowered my gaze down to the floor.

  “That’s right, look away because you know I’m right. You’re nothing but a selfish bitch who only thinks of herself.”

  I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was done taking the full brunt of this breakup when it was both of us who’d played a part in it. There were so many things wrong with our relationship, but the best I could muster was, “I’m not the one who cheated.” As soon as the words escaped me, I wished they hadn’t. The anger that was in his eyes moments ago catapulted to a full-blown rage. He charged at me, grabbing my neck and slamming me into the wall.

  “You fuckin’ bitch! Don’t use that as a cop-out for what you did.”

  “Let go of her!” Amelia shouted.

  Her demands only deepened his wrath as he tightened his grip on my neck and I struggled to break free. I was gasping for air and trying to get my wits about me when his hand released from my neck as Ethan pulled him off me and pummeled him in the face.

  “Ethan, stop!” I managed to get out.

  “Trust me, man, he’s not worth it,” Dan shouted, somehow managing to pull Ethan from Brad.

  “I cheated on you…huh? Looks like you were doing the same!” Even with blood gushing from his lip, Brad had to get the last word in as he glared at Ethan. “You fuckin’ slut!” he shouted.

  Dan tightened his grip on Ethan as he went to go after Brad once again.

  “Get the hell out of here!” Dan yelled.

  “Gladly.”

  This time I didn’t back away from his intense gaze. I wouldn’t allow him to intimidate me anymore.

  He shook his head. “You were nothing but a waste of my time,” he muttered before walking out the door.

  “Jenna, are you okay?” Amelia rushed to my side.

  I nodded, trying my hardest to keep my tears at bay, but when my eyes met Ethan’s I couldn’t hold them back any longer. He slowly made his way to me, moving my hair out of the way and gently skimming his fingertips on the sides of my neck. It was as if time stood still and we were the only two in the room. He didn’t need to speak. Just his tender touch and the softness in his eyes put my mind at complete ease.

  Amelia cleared her throat, breaking us both from our trance. His hands moved from my neck and his posture stiffened.

  “So, I think we could all use a drink after that,” Dan suggested. “Except for you.” He looked at Amelia and grinned.

  “Umm…yeah, that sounds good,” I replied, eyeing up Ethan, awaiting his response.

  “Uh, I’m gonna pass. I’ve got some things I need to catch up on.”

  I was hoping the disappointment I was feeling wasn’t showing on my face.

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” He nodded, still seeming a little rattled.

  How I wished I could crawl inside his mind and read his thoughts.

  “It was nice meeting you both,” he said to Amelia and Dan, locking eyes with me one last time before making his exit.

  “Oh my God, Jenna. The way he came to your rescue and the way he looked at you. Just...wow!” Amelia beamed.

  “I cannot believe Brad just showed up here like that. What the hell?” I snapped, having a delayed reaction to my anger and totally ignoring Amelia.

  “He’s an asshole, Jen. Plain and simple. I’m so glad you didn’t marry that dick. You know he…” Amelia continued with her rant about Brad, but my mind was a million miles away.

  I looked out the window and watched Ethan driving away. I wondered where he was going, when he’d be back, and if he was missing me already, the same way I was missing him.

  Chapter 16

  Ethan

  I STAYED CLEAR OF JENNA FOR the rest of the day. Just seeing that asshole with his hands wrapped around her neck stirred up so many memories of my childhood and the way my mother would allow my father to treat her. Then how she’d overlook it when he hadn’t taken out enough of his frustrations on her and would come looking for me.

  “Don’t let him hear you crying, Ethan, it will only make him angrier.” That was the best comfort my mother could offer me as I tried to halt the pain I was in thanks to my father. I would lie in bed at night, covering my head with my pillow when I’d hear their arguments begin, knowing it was just a matter of time before the inevitable was going to happen. Then the next morning, when my father was sobered up and had no recollection of what he’d done, I was to pretend like nothing had happened. He was a dedicated dad who coached my little league team, and I was just a normal nine-year-old boy living a happy life in suburbia. My
mother would even go as far as to put some of her makeup on my face, so he wouldn’t see the bruises he’d caused. “He would feel awful if he knew what he’d done, Ethan. He really does love us very much. He’s just under a lot of pressure, sweetie.” The more I thought about how weak and spineless my mother was the more I was growing to hate her just as much as my father, even in her grave.

  My sister, who was seven years older than me, was more of a mother. After my father passed out from his drunken rage, she’d sneak into my bedroom to comfort me. “It’s okay, Ethan. You can cry. I promise you, once I’m old enough, I’ll get my own place and get you out of here.” She’d wrap her arms around me and rub my back and we’d cry together until I fell asleep.

  It was from the fucked-up childhood that my imagination began to take flight. I’d go into my own little fantasy world to escape my life. Once I got older I started writing out all the make-believe worlds in my mind and impressed the hell out of my English teachers who encouraged me to hold onto the gift I possessed.

  “You have a gift for writing?” My father laughed, swaying back and forth in his drunken stupor. “You better get over that fantasy really quick, boy, because that so-called gift isn’t going to pay the bills.”

  It was then that I made a promise to myself that I was going to make it big and show that motherfucker he was wrong.

  I sat in my car for some time, staring out into the darkness. It was late, and I probably should have just gone to bed, but when I saw the parlor light on in Jenna’s place, I couldn’t resist walking up onto the porch and knocking on her door.

  “Hey!” A huge smile stretched across her face when she flung the door open.

  My eyes gravitated to her neck even though I didn’t want them to, and my stomach twisted at the purple bruising.

  “It’s fine, Ethan,” she reassured me as if she were reading my mind. “Come in.” She opened the door wider, and I took a step inside.