When Autumn Ends

by Beth Rinyu

  I expelled a sigh. “What if Darrah freaks when she finds out what happened and really does do something to hurt him?”

  Tom shook his head but didn’t seem too convincing, clearly viewing her as that same psychotic bitch I did. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Mr. Reed!” People shouted from the crowd as the police officers did their best to hold them back while Tom and I made our way through.

  The frigid air hitting my face was welcoming when we stepped outside, instantly clearing my head. “What now?” I asked Tom once we were far enough from the chaos.

  “We wait.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I can’t just sit here and wait. She’s here somewhere with my son, probably getting ready to bolt with him as we speak. I can’t just—”

  “Ethan, what other choice do we have? We have to wait for him to tell us where she is. What are you gonna do, scour the whole city of Boston on your own to try and find her? She could be anywhere.”

  “If you had just called off those officers, I could have gotten him to talk.”

  “After he passed out from asphyxiation?” After walking for some time, I tapped my key fob and unlocked my door once my car was in view. “No, you’re coming with me,” Tom demanded. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.” He cut me off the second I tried to protest. “Lock the door, Ethan, you’re coming with me.”

  I glared at him for a moment before hitting the key fob and signaling defeat.

  I tapped my hand against the dashboard, drowning out the silence as we sat in Tom’s car.

  “Really? We can do without the drum serenade.” Tom lifted his head from whatever he was reading on his phone and raised an eyebrow.

  I clenched and unclenched my fists, ready to jump out of my skin. We were wasting valuable time by just sitting here doing nothing.

  “Have you talked to Jenna?” Tom asked.

  I stared straight ahead and shook my head.

  “Well, why don’t you give her a call. She always seems to know how to calm you down.”

  “Nah, not right now.”

  “Is everything okay with you guys?”

  I jerked my head in his direction, immediately going on the defense. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

  “I don’t know. I just thought you’d be on the phone with her right away to let her know what’s going on.”

  “I think Jenna needs a break from all the drama that my life entails. Since the day I met her she’s been there for me. Putting up with my mood swings, dealing with my fucked-up past. Anybody else would’ve been long gone.”

  “Did she tell you she needs a break?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” I stared out the window. The clouds were winning the battle with the once abundant sunshine. “I told her I loved her,” I blurted out. “And she didn’t respond back. I knew it was too soon, and I probably freaked her out, but it just came out.” I turned my head in his direction. “But I never felt for anyone the way I feel for her.”

  He nodded. “Well, I don’t think you should just assume that she got freaked out. Jenna has a good head on her shoulders, and I’m pretty sure if she felt like she was getting in over her head, she’d let you know.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know about that.” She didn’t let her ex-fiancé know how she was feeling when she didn’t want to marry him, so why would I be any different? “I think it may have been too soon to spring that word on her.”

  “What word? Love?”

  I nodded, wishing I could go back in time and take it back.

  “Well, did you mean it?” Tom asked.

  “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.”

  “Then it wasn’t too soon. Look, Ethan, you can’t deny how you’re feeling. There’s no rule that says you need to wait a certain amount of time before you can love someone. Ask your sister. I told her I loved her on our second date. Of course, the fact I was a teenage boy looking to get laid came into play a bit.”

  I held up my hand. “All right, that’s my sister you’re talking about. I don’t need to know any more.”

  “But my point is, I knew your sister was the one for me from that moment. It had nothing to do with raging hormones. I just knew. The same way you know Jenna is the girl for you.”

  “I guess…but things are gonna change after today. What if she’s not ready to have the responsibility of someone else’s kid in her life? I just assumed—”

  “Ethan, man. Just take this one step at a time. It’s going to be a big adjustment for everyone. Just give it time. Let things play out.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I closed my eyes and rested my head against the cool glass of the car window, knowing if I could have both Jenna and my son in my life, I would have that happily ever after I never believed in after all. My eyes were giving in to their heaviness until the ringing of Tom’s phone jolted me from my sleep.

  “Damn it!” he shouted to the person on the other end. “Well, where the hell is she?”

  My heart was beating at warp speed. I knew this couldn’t have been good.

  “Yeah, call me when you hear something.”

  “What?” I asked the second he hung up the phone.

  “Darrah isn’t with him.”

  “What?” I shouted.

  “Calm down, Ethan. We’re gonna find out where she is.”

  “Tom, she’s desperate now. I wouldn’t put anything past her. We need to find her…like now!”

  An unfamiliar number flashed across my phone, and I was just about ready to send it to voicemail, but something inside told me not to.

  “Yeah,” I answered.

  “Ethan.” Her familiar voice sent shivers down my spine.

  “Darrah, where is he?”

  Tom jerked his head in my direction. Keep her talking, he mouthed.

  “I’m sorry.” Her voice wavered. “It was so wrong of me.”

  “Darrah, where the hell is my son?”

  Tom shook his head. “Calm down,” he whispered.

  “I need to talk to you, but just you and me. No police. There’s a lot I need to tell you. Things I should have told you a long time ago. Please, Ethan, will you just hear me out?”

  “Where?”

  “The lighthouse we used to go to by my parents’ house.”

  “I can be there in an hour and a half.”

  “Okay,” she whispered before hanging up the phone.

  “Where is she?” Tom asked.

  “Tom, I really do appreciate everything you’ve done, but I have to do this on my own. I can’t risk the police showing up and screwing up my chances of getting him back. I’ll call you when I got him.”

  I jumped out of his car and was already halfway down the street when I heard him shout, “Goddammit, Ethan!”

  Chapter 43

  Jenna

  MY THOUGHTS HAD BEEN filled with Ethan during the entire drive home, wondering how things were going. I knew I’d hurt him badly last night by skirting around his I love you, and I was feeling badly over it now. It took a lot for him to say those words to me, and I was just downright cold in return, when all I really wanted to do was say it back. Once everything had calmed down with Nolan, we’d rehash the topic, but for now, I was going to try and put it out of my mind. Between the long drive and overthinking, I was exhausted and happy to be home. I turned on the fireplace and lit my Christmas tree before settling down on the couch with a cup of tea. I had so much to do, but my exhaustion won out. I lowered my head to the pillow and passed out cold.

  My eyes peeled open and my ears tuned into the teeming rain outside my window. Still sleepy, I sat up and rubbed my tired eyes. A chill shot through me, and even the blanket I was cocooned in couldn’t chase it away. My rubber band legs almost gave out when I stood up. Shaking them out a bit to get the blood circulating, I made my way into the kitchen. I hadn’t eaten all day and my stomach wouldn’t be ignored any longer. My head was stuck in the fridge when I heard a faint knock on the front door.

 
Ethan! My heart was happy just thinking of that possibility. I rushed to the door, flinging it open without even looking, and my stomach dropped to my knees as she stood on the porch. Her long, dark hair soaked from the rain hung straggly around her pale sunken-in face. So different from the perfectly put-together woman I’d met less than forty-eight hours ago. I gazed at the blanket she was holding, trying to get a glimpse of the child swaddled inside of it.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I wanted to meet the girl who ruined my life and return the favor.”

  Her bright blue eyes now gray and dull, cut through me, reflecting distraught and despair.

  My hands trembled. “You need to leave.” I went to close the door, and she pushed her way in.

  “Edward told me all about you, and how Ethan was so taken by you. Foolish girl, don’t you see why? It doesn’t bother you that he only fell for you because you look like his dead wife? But I guess he turned on the charm like he always does, and you were able to overlook it. He doesn’t love you. Ethan isn’t capable of love.”

  “Yes, he is,” I whispered.

  She let out a sarcastic laugh. “And how would you know that? Oh, let me guess…he told you he loved you, and you believed it. Well, guess what, sweetie…he told me he loved me too and turns out he didn’t. He loved his career more. He’s using you…he doesn’t love you.”

  I swallowed hard. “You need to leave or I’m going to call the police.”

  “Leave? I suppose you want me to hand over my child before I do, so you and Ethan can live happily ever after with him. Here you go, you can have him.”

  I grabbed the sleeping bundle as she handed it off to me, letting out a loud gasp when I moved the blanket to find a teddy bear underneath.

  A shrill sound disguised as a laugh escaped her. “You’re even more naïve than I thought. No wonder why Ethan is with you. Did you really think I’d hand my son over so easily?” She shook her head. “No, Jenna…is that your name?”

  I didn’t respond.

  “I’d rather see him dead before I’d let Ethan have him. He’s not worthy of him. I will not have my son raised by a selfish, womanizing cheater. He’s better off dead. And you can tell your precious Ethan that you’re to blame. It’s your fault, Jenna…you couldn’t leave it well enough alone. Nolan is now really dead because of you.” She raised her blood-stained hands.

  “No, no, no!” I shouted, gasping for air.

  “Jenna, Jenna!” My mother’s voice coaxed me from my nightmare. Tears streamed down my face as I struggled to breathe. I sat up and my mother took a seat next to me. “Honey, it’s okay. It was just a dream.” She wrapped her arms around me, and I couldn’t stop crying. It all seemed so real. “Shh—calm down.” My mother rubbed my back and rocked me back and forth.

  “Jenna, everything looks—”

  I raised my head from my mother’s embrace to find my father standing near me.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

  “She was having a nightmare,” my mother answered.

  My father took a seat on the other side of me, and I shifted my head to his shoulder. “Jenna, honey, you really need to keep that front door locked when you’re here alone. Your mother and I were knocking and knocking and when you didn’t answer, we just walked in. We could’ve been anyone off the street.”

  “I know, Dad,” I whispered. “I was just so tired, I didn’t even think about it.”

  “What were you dreaming about?” my mother asked.

  “I-I don’t even know. I don’t want to talk about it.” I grabbed a tissue from the coffee table and wiped my eyes, pulling it together as best as I could. “So, this is a really nice surprise to see you guys here.”

  “Yeah, well, I wanted to see what you’ve done with the place.” My mother smiled.

  “It looks gorgeous. These floors…are they the originals?” my father asked.

  “They are.” I smiled, remembering how proud Ethan was of his work, then frowned, remembering the sadness in his voice last night.

  “I would have never thought they could be saved.” My father bent down and ran his hand over the wood.

  “Ethan did an awesome job on them,” I remarked.

  “Who’s Ethan?” my mother inquired.

  “He’s a friend of mine.”

  “Oh?” She raised an eyebrow, and it wasn’t long before I was spilling every detail to her and my dad, right from the first day we met.

  “He’s just so…I can’t begin to explain it, but I care about him a lot.”

  “I can tell.” My mother smiled. “So, he’s an author. I never heard of him.”

  “He writes under a pen name…Jonathan Reed.”

  “No way! My daughter is dating Jonathan Reed?” my dad chimed in.

  “No, Dad, I’m dating Ethan Banks.” I laughed.

  “I’ve read every single book he’s ever written.”

  Who would’ve known, my dad was one of Ethan’s biggest fans?

  “So, when do we get to meet him?”

  I shrugged. “He has a lot going on right now, so we’ll have to see.”

  My mother followed me into the kitchen while I put together some snacks. She cleared her throat, the same way she always would before making a big announcement. “We ran into Brad a few nights ago.”

  I took a sip of water. “Oh. Where?” I picked up the knife and continued slicing the cheese a little faster than before.

  “We were out to dinner with Dolores and Fred at The Emerald Inn, and he came walking in with some woman.”

  I turned around to face her when I sensed some disgust in her voice. Did she finally see the other side of him?

  “We went over to say hello to him, and he barely even spoke to us. Then he ran into your father in the men’s room and the two of them had some words when he made a remark about you.”

  I rolled my eyes, not even caring what he had to say about me.

  “You did the right thing, Jenna.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  We grabbed the food and headed into the parlor. Maybe it was because we took a little break, but I was actually enjoying my mother’s company. We spent the rest of the afternoon reminiscing about the memories this very house held for all of us. They were a welcoming distraction when my worry for both Ethan’s well-being and our relationship was at an all-time high.

  Chapter 44

  Ethan

  MY HEART WAS BEATING from my chest when I got out of my car and found the hidden trail leading to the lighthouse. Darrah and I had spent a lot of time in this familiar spot, but so much had changed from those summer evenings, watching the sun set into the Narragansett Bay as the boats went by. We were no longer that couple so in love. Instead, she was my biggest enemy. I climbed over the rocks and into the clearing with no sign of her. Staring out at the water with time to finally gather my thoughts, it dawned on me that maybe she’d played me, and this was all a diversion tactic to take Nolan and run. I paced back and forth over the rocky shoreline, feeling more foolish by the minute for falling into her trap.

  “Ethan.” I turned to the familiar voice, but it didn’t belong to Darrah. Instead, it was Edward’s.

  And Darrah had once again made a fool of me. “Wow, how didn’t I guess it would be you who showed up instead of Darrah? After all, you’re the mastermind behind this entire sick plan.”

  “Why couldn’t you just leave it well enough alone? You were happy again with this new girl in your life. You were getting back into writing. You said yourself that story wasn’t your best. So, why couldn’t you just let it go?”

  I let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Let it go and just forget my son is still alive after the three of you plotted this for God knows how long? You’re more delusional than I thought.”

  He was visibly shaken as I approached him, taking two steps back for each step I took toward him.

  “You watched me fall apart this past year and pretended to be there for me
when the whole time you knew everything. You took my son from me the same way you took that shitty story, so you could have another feather in your cap.”

  The vein in his right temple pulsated as he continued to back away, and I fought with everything inside of me to not wrap my hands around his throat and choke the son of a bitch to death.

  “Ethan.” Her raspy voice called over the crashing waves, shifting my rage the moment I laid eyes on her. This woman approaching me, now a stranger. A stranger I hated with every fiber of my being.

  “Goddamn it, Darrah, I told you to wait in the car,” Edward snapped.

  My eyes burned into her, and she looked away. She was so close. Close enough to touch, just like in all those dreams that plagued my sleep, but this was real—all too real for me to take. Her long, brown hair blew in the wind and the first teardrop rolled down her face.

  “Where’s Nolan?” I muttered with pure contempt.

  “Please don’t do this just to spite me, Ethan.”

  “I’m doing this to spite you? You stupid bitch, you took away the one and only thing that mattered to me.”

  “He didn’t matter to you, Ethan. The only thing that mattered was your career.”

  “You know that’s not true. I love him more than anything in this world!”

  “The same way you loved me before deciding I wasn’t enough and then cheating on me. What would you have done when the love you had for him wasn’t enough? Would you have just dismissed him too? You don’t deserve him, and I will never let you have him.”

  “My love for him will always be enough.”

  She swallowed hard and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “So, I was right. You did stop loving me. That’s why you cheated. That’s why you shut down on me. Was anything real?” she cried. “I loved you so much, Ethan. I still do love you. I was only with him to get back at you. This time away made me realize how much I missed you. Let’s run away and start over again, you, me, and Nolan.” She threw her arms around me, and I pushed her away.

  “You’re sick. I want nothing to do with you. I couldn’t care less if you rot in prison for the rest of your life. I just want my son.”