by Nhys Glover
The little man nodded his head excitedly, his eyes gleaming. Gaius felt his stomach rebel as it had done as he entered the tavern. Fighting down the urge to smash the few remaining teeth in the man’s head down his throat, he, instead, gave the cur a shove towards the hostelry.
As Gaius watched the gleeful bastard hobble off, Vali placed a hand on his shoulder again.
‘Good thinking. With that kind of money on him, and the wife out of the way, he’ll be dead by nightfall, either from the grog, his so called friends, or his wife when she sees he’s lost the lot. A fitting end. He wasn’t worth dirtying your hands over.’
‘The thought of that… touching my Brennwen makes me sick to my gut.’ He wanted to spit out more of the bile that was eating away at him, but he couldn’t find the words. And when he looked at Vali’s troubled face, he knew he didn’t have to.
‘Don’t let it get to you, Gaius. Your woman survived it, and is stronger for it. That’s what matters now. Come on, let’s go see what Braxus has done with the hag. She deserves more than losing her windfall. But I won’t kill a woman, even one like that.’
Gaius nodded in agreement. He just hoped Braxus found a way to keep the hag away long enough for the husband to drink the lot away. How the doctores did it, Gaius didn’t much care. His disgust at the whole sorry scene left a bad taste in his mouth that he wanted washed away with fresh, clean water.
By the time they were back at the docks, Braxus was jogging in their direction, a wicked smirk on his face.
‘What did you do?’ Vali asked with interest.
‘Turned her over to a Praetorian patrol, claiming she’d stolen from me. By the time they’ve sorted it out and she gets back to her belov’d, the silver will be long gone. Good plan, Gaius. I didn’t know you had it in you.’
‘I didn’t say anything.’
‘You didn’t have to. I saw your thoughts on your face. That cur didn’t deserve the effort involved in cleaning a blade or nursing bruised knuckles.’
‘My thoughts exactly. Are you ready to go home, brother?’ Vali asked, again placing his hand on Gaius’ shoulder.
Vali had never called him brother before. It felt good. He looked up at the blonde giant and felt the edges of his tight lips lifting.
‘More than ready, brother.’
As they relaxed on the deck of the vessel heading back the way they’d come, Vali kept looking at him, a question in his pale blue eyes.
‘What?’ he finally had to ask.
‘She’s yours now. What will you do with her?’
‘Give her to father. I can’t keep her at Cal’s estate.’
‘Why?’
‘Because she’ll hate me if I make her my bedmate. And I don’t know if I could stop myself taking her if she was part of my household. She may already be carrying my child…’
‘You love her…’ It wasn’t a question and Gaius wondered if he wore his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see. So much for the stoic Roman face he cultivated for the world.
‘It doesn’t matter if I love her or not. I can’t marry her. Roman Law prohibits a citizen marrying anyone but another citizen, even if we discounted the patrician class restrictions.’
‘You could marry her by her traditions rather than yours. If you free her first.’
‘If I free her, she might leave me…’ Gaius felt the burn race up his neck and into his cheeks as soon as the wretched words left his mouth.
He wouldn’t give the woman he loved the rights she’d earned because he feared she’d leave him? What did that say about how pathetic he was?
‘If you free her, she might stay. Have you even offered her freedom?’ Vali didn’t sound disgusted or angry with him. He sounded patient and understanding.
‘No. But I should have. I actually threatened her with being an escaped slave when she said she was leaving.’
Vali groaned and rubbed his face with his big hands. ‘Not the way to win a woman’s heart, my brother, no matter how desperate you are to keep her with you.’
‘I know. I regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth. Even if I could bring myself to manipulate someone I cared about in that way, I couldn’t do it to someone who had given me back my son.’
‘We all say things we don’t mean, especially when we’re in love,’ Braxus put in from his seat on Gaius’ other side.
‘See, I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I didn’t feel this out of control with Calidia. I never said anything I didn’t mean to her. I never threatened her, nor tried to force her… But I feel like I’d do anything to keep Brennwen. I disgust myself.’
‘Calidia was a nice girl, but I never saw passion in your eyes when you looked at her,’ Vali observed carefully.
‘Is that what you see in my eyes now? Passion? What about lust, obsession and desire? God, extreme emotions like those were only ever words to me before I met Brennwen. She unmans me.’
‘It feels like that, but that’s not what happens,’ Braxus said thoughtfully, as he stared out at the blue water surging past them. The vessel was under full sail.
‘If the woman loves you in return, it’s a kind of freedom. Like all the burdens you’ve been carrying the whole of your life are lifted. It takes a while to get used to. But it’s worth it,’ Vali said.
‘If she loves me … That’s the question, isn’t it? And even if she does. What would my father say if I turned my back on the paterfamilias. I should marry again and have more sons. That’s my duty.’
‘You can have your sons. Adopt them. Many illegitimate sons are adopted by their powerful fathers.’
For a moment, Gaius saw a light at the end of the tunnel. He could legally adopt his children. As children of a liberti, they were eligible for citizenship. He could then adopt them into his clan.
But Brennwen was so tiny. If Calidia hadn’t survived the birth of her son, what chance did Brennwen have? The image of sweet Calidia, dead, came before his eyes. It had hurt him terribly to lose her. But the thought of losing Brennwen that way was unimaginably worse.
‘It would kill her.’
‘These Celts are a hardy lot. More so than you civilized Roman nobles. And she’s gifted by the gods, so that has to add to her life-expectancy. Anyway, it may already be too late to be worrying about that now, you said so yourself.’ Vali grinned.
‘I couldn’t live if I lost her like that.’
‘That’s how I feel each time Lara goes through it.’
‘And Nin. I wish I could have the babes. But then I look at the pain women go through and I’m glad I can’t.’ Braxus chuckled.
‘I’ll be shunned by society if I give her the kind of status you suggest.’
‘Is that more important to you than she is?’
He thought about that for a moment. Who of the people he knew and respected would shun him for his choices? His father? Possibly, but unlikely after his choice to keep Elaeni as his mistress. Lucullus? Unlikely. And even if he did, would that be enough reason to put Brennwen aside? No.
Could he do it? Could he turn his back on his class, on his position in society, on Rome’s expectations of him, for the little snow maiden?
A strange sense of fear and elation began to build inside him at the prospect. It reminded him of the feeling he had when he left Magna Germania to find Lara, and again when he headed North to find Cal. Was it just adventure that he craved, or was this something else entirely?
Shaking his head, he left the question unanswered.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
29 April 86 CE, Lentulus Estate, Cantiaci Territory BRITANNIA
‘I hear riders,’ Elaeni said, standing up from the table where they’d been sharing a midday meal. The old lady had come visiting a few days ago when she started missing Bibulus. She’d humorously confided that after all their years in the same household, she found it difficult to sleep if he wasn’t under the same roof with her.
‘It sounds like quite a few.’ Brennwen climbed to her feet and hurried toward the
front of the villa. She had expected Gaius back days ago. But if it was Gaius why would it sound like a cavalry detachment was travelling with him?
At the front door, Cal appeared with a small wooden sword in his hands. He’d been having lessons with Thadeus in the central yard.
‘Is it Pater?’
‘I don’t know. I was just going to find out,’ she replied, scooping the child up in her arms, more for moral support than to provide protection for the child. The estate was as safe a place as any could be for her son. There were dozens of slaves around them at any given moment, day or night. No rebels would ever be able to reach him again.
Bibulus was hobbling towards them with Elaeni on his arm. He looked expectant, as if he knew this had to be his returning son.
By the time they all made it out onto the steps at the front of the villa, the identity of the riders became clear. Gaius, Vali, Lara, Braxus and Ninia were all cantering up the dirt track that led to where they now stood.
What is going on here?
As they all reined in, big grins on every face, she looked to Gaius for some indication of what was afoot.
He slid out of his saddle and came up the steps toward her. In his hand was a scroll. Wordlessly, he handed it to her. But she couldn’t read, and so she just shook her head in bemusement.
‘That’s your manumission. You’re now a liberti. You’re free to go where you want. No one can make you do anything ever again,’ Gaius said slowly, looking at her with intense brown eyes.
‘I thought you were just buying me…’
‘I want you to be free to decide for yourself what life you want. I would offer you marriage by Roman Law, but I can’t. But if you will have me, I will marry you by your own traditions, and will swear on my honour never to take another in your place. I will adopt your children as my own. They will be Cal’s brothers and sisters in every way. But if you don’t want to marry me, if you want another life…’
‘Is this what you truly want?’ she interrupted him.
‘More than I thought possible. I have never felt as alive as I have since I met you, White Raven.’
She felt her heart take wings as Cal hugged her tightly. ‘Tell him, Mater, tell him!’
She lowered the child to the steps and Bibulus took his grandson’s small hand. Looking up at Bibulus, she saw genuine delight and relief written there. He was overjoyed by this sign that Gaius had chosen to follow his own path.
Turning back to Gaius, she noticed that a hush had fallen over the gathering. Even the horses stood still, as if waiting.
With tears in her eyes, Brennwen finally met Gaius’ anxious gaze. How could he doubt the choice she would make? He and his son had become everything to her. She could no more walk away from him than she could fly like her namesake, the raven.
‘Thank you, Gaius. I would love to marry you in the traditions of my people.’
With a joyous bark of laughter, Gauis swept her up into his arms and swung her around. Then, before he kissed her, he said, ‘Your welcome, my love. You are very welcome!’
She heard the clapping as thunder in the distance as the horses began to stamp their feet at the unexpected sound. When they broke from their kiss, they turned to look at their people, smiling and clapping, happy for them.
It overwhelmed her.
All her life, she’d been an outsider; the curse visited on those around her by Badb. Now she was at the centre of a close-knit and adoring family, loved for herself.
Bibulus came to his son’s side and took him in his arms, tears glistening in his eyes. ‘I have never been so proud of you, my boy! You are a better man than I will ever be.’
She saw Gaius swallowing convulsively before he spoke. ‘I thought you’d disapprove. I thought –’
‘You spend far too much time thinking. Otherwise you’d have known I want only the best for you, as I do for Lara. And this girl may be tiny, but she will bring you great joy.’
Gaius hugged her to his side and beamed back at his father. ‘I’m just starting to realise that.’
Cal took the opportunity to throw himself at his father’s legs. Gaius lifted him up over his head with a laugh.
‘I can really call her Mater now, can’t I Pater?’
‘Yes, you can really call her Mater!’
‘I think this calls for your best wine, brother!’ Lara said as she slid from her mount and came over to hug him, too.
‘I think you’re right. And food. We need food. I’m hungry enough to eat a horse!’
Vali slapped him on the back with a laugh and, after scooping his wife up to his side, led the way into the villa.
Later that night, after the impromptu party had come to an end and those from the Bibulus Estate left, Brennwen took the opportunity to go outside alone, under the full moon that was high in the sky.
While the moonlight shone down on her face, Brennwen lifted her arms to the face of The Lady, in the way she had done so many times before with Braedyn. She gave silent thanks to Arianrod for her guidance and protection and felt an answering jubilation that filled her with an unfamiliar sense of completeness.
She had once believed that she was the curse of Badb, but now she recognised the truth. Her mother had been right all along. She was the gift of Arianrod, and was in turned gifted by her. These last weeks had proved it. Now, when dreams of disaster came to her, she would work to mitigate them, no longer seeing them as unchangeable fate.
In her belly she sensed the presence of her new child, giving praise with her. It was too soon to tell Gaius, but she knew the truth of it. And her child would not be born a slave. He would be a citizen of Rome and would one day be adopted by Gaius. But adopted or not, she knew Gaius would love her children as much as he loved Cal.
Gaius found her there, sometime later, looking well pleased with himself.
‘What are you doing, my soon-to-be-wife?’ Gaius asked as he wrapped his arm around her from behind and kissed the top of her head.
‘Giving thanks to my Goddess, and thinking about my name.’
‘White Raven?’
‘Yes. Ravens are always seen as messengers of misfortune by my people, and yet I’ve proven that wrong.’
‘For us, the white raven is seen as a sign of good fortune. It brings good news. It is only the black raven that is feared. That was one of the reasons I think I was able to hold out hope during those terrible days when all seemed hopeless. I remembered that a white raven brings good news. And you did.’ He kissed her head again.
‘A missive arrived from Livia Davrydiani yesterday. Sometime soon, I’d like to go down to visit them with Cal. She’s invited us all.’
‘Of course. Without her help, you would never have found me in time. We owe her a great deal.’
‘Not just Livia. Allyn and Leonis, too. They were all so kind to me. I’d never experienced such acceptance before being welcomed into their household.’
‘I hope you feel that kind of acceptance in this household?’
She swivelled in his arms to face him. ‘I’ve found more than mere acceptance here, I’ve found love.’
‘Be my bedmate tonight, my love?’ he asked.
‘I suppose this will be the last time I’ll have a choice in the matter.’ He frowned in confusion.
‘Once we’re married you’ll own me by my traditions,’ she informed him.
‘Then you better make the most of your first and last days of freedom, and choose. Do you share my bed tonight, White Raven?’
She smiled up at him. ‘I do, indeed, my Eagle.’
‘Eagle?’
‘Yes. That’s how I see you sometimes. Like Rome’s eagle, all fierce determination and arrogance.’
When he picked her up and carried her back into the villa, she had to hold back her little cry of surprise.
‘Don’t forget strength,’ Gaius joked as he reached his room and dropped her onto the large new bed there. This time she did cry out in surprise.
‘When did you have this brought
in?’
‘Not long ago, while you had your head together with my sister, planning our wedding. I decided I couldn’t sleep on a soldier’s pallet any longer. You take up too much room.’
She laughed at his joke. Then she kissed him deeply. ‘You are truly an amazing man. A powerful warrior, a respected diplomat, a wonderful father and a passionate lover. Who could ask for more?’
‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome!’ And she gave him the first of many kisses for that night.
