"Yes, I think you are right…" She straightened herself and held her head up high. "I am better off here. Are you hungry?"
"I could eat…" Buck said with a smile.
"Then I'll fix us a meal." She said deciding on what she wanted to cook.
"Sounds good, I'll check the firewood." He told her. "It looks like it's gonna snow out there."
"Oh my, I hope Hershel is bundled up."
Buck had gone outside again.
~*~
She heard him chopping wood and smiled. She liked the fact that she could depend on Buck to take care of things. And she was very glad he was staying. Not used to the place, she was at a loss on what to do if she was snowed in.
She contemplated her circumstance. Perhaps Buck was right, Hershel would take care of her, and she was better off here than at home.
She couldn't call it home. It had never been home to her. As far as Rachel was concerned, Arkansas was home.
After Buck started a fire in the stove and looked about for meat, she found some ham and eggs and decided on a breakfast kind of meal for now.
She found a bin full of potatoes so she peeled some and prepared fried potatoes and gravy. She let the ham sizzle and made some scrambled eggs. She made a small batch of biscuits too. Then she put on a pot of coffee after she found it.
Scrounging around in the cabin was fun, but it might take a while to familiarize herself with where everything was. Perhaps life with Hershel wouldn't be as bad as she thought. It was fun and almost like an adventure for her.
Buck came back with an armload of wood for the fire.
He smelled her cooking and came up behind her. "Smells good. What are we having?"
She turned around a little too quickly and found herself staring into Buck's face.
"Ham and eggs, with gravy and biscuits, it's the best I could do on such short notice. Is that enough?" She asked.
"Sure it's fine with me." He smiled at her. "Ham and eggs are good anytime, and gravy well, that's just special."
"He seems to have everything except maybe meat." She explained.
"Oh well, he's got a cold cellar outside where he keeps it. But we don't need it tonight." Buck said warming his hands by the fire.
The coffee began filling the cabin with a warm and friendly smell.
She poured them a cup. It would help warm them.
"I'll bet Hershel wishes he had a hot meal about now." Buck chuckled.
"What will he eat?"
"Oh, he'll kill him something to eat and cook it out on a fire. But after the snow comes, it might be a little harder. He can snow fish and find a rabbit every now and then. Or maybe if he's lucky a dear."
"I wish he were here," Rachel said stirring the gravy. "We've been talking about him so much, he's like an imaginary person."
"He'll be here. He must be having a time with that bear." Buck chuckled. "But I'll admit, I expected him back by now. Knowing Hershel he might have met up with some friends and not knowing you were coming decided to spend some time with them. He often does when he's out like that. Especially if he hadn't seen them for a long time."
"How long has he lived here?" She asked turning to look at Buck.
"All his life. He was born here. This is his father's place. That's why it's so cluttered and old, he didn't bother getting rid of his folks things when they died. He just moved his stuff in beside them. You see, Hershel left home early on, got out on his own. He made friends with the Indians in the area, especially the Cheyenne and they taught him how to hunt and prepare fresh game. He learned a lot from them. He can skin as good as anyone. Then one of his closest Indian friends died, and he went home. That was when the Indians were not as friendly and the war kind of split Hershel into. On one hand he loved the Indians, on the other he hated seeing innocent white's killed. I really think he was lonely then. I don't think he could bear to get rid of anything when his folks died. Poor fella. He didn't have much anyway. Just a change of clothes, a big bearskin coat and cap and some good leather gloves. He has a couple of pair of boots. But that's about all he ever had."
"He's not a material kind of man, then?" She questioned.
Buck twisted his head, "Huh?"
"I mean, he doesn't have a lot of belongings of his own."
"No…not much. He's got traps outside in the lean-to. He has a large collection of big knives to skin with. He has a gun or two, a bow and arrow, a fishing pole he made himself that's about all he wants. He always told me if you have the right tool you can do anything you want."
"He sounds very resourceful." The problem was Hershel didn't sound like husband material, he seemed like a good friend.
When everything was ready, they plopped on the makeshift animal skins to eat the food in their laps. There was no table.
"Not much furniture either…is there?"
"No ma'am. He doesn't get much company so he figures he doesn't need much furniture." Buck excused him. "Never has female company up here, so he sees no need."
"Makes sense I guess."
"Don't get me wrong. Hershel is generous as they come. He'll buy you anything you want if he's got the money." Buck assured her. "And even though this doesn't look it, he's very clean with his skins and things. You won't find bugs and critters coming in here. He knows how to keep them away."
"Wonderful, I really don't like critters as you call them. I'm not that material-minded either Buck. I brought a few things to live with up here. I have my sewing, knitting, and I had an idea to make a cookbook for myself. I might do that, I'm sure I'll have a lot of free time."
"No ma'am, you don't." Buck corrected.
"What do you mean?" She narrowed her gaze at him.
"You did have all that stuff, you don't now, since we lost our mules. But…like you said, you'll get along." Buck answered. "Hershel goes to town about twice a year and he'll get you anything you need, I'm sure of it."
She was quiet a moment. "I'm really sorry about those mules."
"I figured you were more important, Rach." He smiled. "So what do you think of the place?"
Rachel's expression was bland, she was determined to be up about this marriage, even if it killed her, and it might, she thought glancing about the place.
She knew that the minute Buck left she was going to be lonely and she wasn't sure how to deal with that. She only hoped he'd stay long enough for her to get used to Hershel in some way.
Buck had been so kind and she had gotten used to his ways pretty quickly. She only hoped her husband would be as easy.
"It's cozy enough. Feels nice and warm in here. It's a little crowded in places, but I have a feeling I can fix the place up nicely, given a little time. And if he'll consent to it. I wouldn't change things unless he wanted me to."
Buck stared at her in disbelief, so she made a face and admitted it. "Alright, I might as well be honest with you. It's terrible. I hate it. But like I said, I can fix it up to where it's livable."
"Yes ma'am, I bet you can."
Buck watched her clean the dishes and make things do. He admired how she took care of stuff. But he recognized a certain amount of disappointment in her too. The way her shoulders slumped, the way her mouth turned down more now. Certainly she had to expect more from Hershel than what she had seen. Maybe, when he came home, she'd settle out. But there was one thing for sure. Buck was sure gonna miss her.
Chapter Eleven
"Buck, I want to take a bath, and get cleaned up." Rachel was saying at breakfast.
"Oh well…I can fix that for you. Just start heating some water on the stove." He said.
"Thanks." Rachel found a towel and a rag to wash with and one bar of lye soap. She decided that would be good.
She gathered it up as she heated the water.
Buck went outside and brought the washtub in. He set it in the kitchen and then waited to fill the tub up.
When it was full, she looked at him. He looked at her.
"Uh…Buck, would you mind going outside while I take a bath?
" She smiled sweetly.
"Oh…yeah, sure." Buck practically backed out of the cabin.
Alone with her warm tub of water, she shed her clothes and stepped into the water. It was delightful. She relaxed immediately.
She washed her hair, then began to scrub herself. When she was all was clean, she leaned back in the water and relaxed.
Thinking about her trip up here, and all she and Buck had been through she began to feel uneasy about Buck leaving. She wished she could find a way for him to stay. She liked him. And so far, Hershel was still a stranger to her. But that would change in time. She'd have to make it change.
She thought about that. It didn't seem right to marry a man she knew so little about. But the deed was done, and she had made that decision.
Nearly asleep, she shook herself and started to get out, when Buck flew inside as though something was after him.
"What's wrong?" She shrieked trying to cover herself.
"Damn skunk outside…" He yelled at the top of his lungs and turned to look at her.
He looked suddenly paralyzed when he realized she was naked, standing in the tub.
"I'm sorry…but, I can't go back out there just yet." His eyes drifted over her slowly, absorbing.
"And you can't stay in here, either…" She shrieked and sat down in the tub once more, reaching for the rag she had washed with to cover herself.
He turned himself around, so he could no longer look at her. "There, is that better?" He asked, his voice going hoarse as he spoke.
"Yes…it is. Thank you." She hurriedly got out of the tub, wrapped the towel around her and moved to the corner of the kitchen where he couldn't see her. She grabbed her clothes.
"If I'd have had my gun, I would have shot him." Buck shook his head.
"A skunk?" She questioned. "Well, you won't catch me going out there then. But you'd kill a skunk?"
"Better than getting sprayed I can tell you. I don't know what those Indians use. They don't tell anyone. And I don't have anything to get rid of the smell. Yes ma'am, a skunk can get me on the run, and fast."
He almost forgot and turned around. But she hissed at him.
"Buck!"
"Sorry."
She got her clothes on and cleared her throat.
"Now you can turn around." She sighed.
"I didn't mean to bust in on you like that." He apologized. "It wasn't intentional."
"I know that, Buck." Her voice softened as she spoke. "It was my fault, the water was so warm and inviting, I got sleepy."
She glanced out the window and saw the skunk running away from the cabin. "He's leaving, it looks like."
Buck chuckled. "Funny how a critter like that can have you on the run." He watched the skunk hurry toward the forest once more.
"Do you want to take a bath too?" She asked.
He thought about that a minute. "I guess that would feel real good, wouldn't it?" He smiled at her.
"It does, let me heat some more water." She insisted.
When the water was ready he waited to see if she was going to leave.
"I guess it's my turn to get out, isn't it?"
"Yes ma'am." He answered.
She put her coat on, her mittens and her cap that Buck had found for her. "I'll be just outside. Holler when you are through, okay?"
"Sure!"
She heard him sigh as he stuck a foot in the water.
It was freezing outside and she realized he must have suffered a little waiting for her to finish putting her coat on.
But as time passed and he hadn't called to her, she began to wonder what had happened to him.
Slowly she opened the door…"Buck?"
She called in a small voice.
There was no answer.
"Buck," She called a little louder.
She walked toward the kitchen. "Buck!" She gasped when she spotted him still in the tub, asleep.
He raised up a bit and she couldn't stop staring at him. Despite her own modesty, she got a good look at everything except his privates. She knew he was well built for a thin man, but seeing the muscles in his arms flex, and the flat stomach, surprised her. She'd never seen a naked man before. She was startled and fascinated in the same breath. Although Buck wasn't an overly big man, he was built well, muscled in all the right places. His hair was shining, and he had scraped a lot of his chin hairs off. She had a physical moment that rooted her to the spot. She should feel guilty, she supposed, but he had gotten a look at her too, so she figured they were even.
Besides, as a newly married woman, she had to get used to seeing a man without clothes.
Surely Hershel would want her in that way.
She blushed profusely and scolded herself inwardly for not having the patience for Buck to call to her.
"I'm sorry," she bent her head and turned away. "When you didn't call, I thought something had happened to you," she said as she stared out the window.
"Something, did, I went to sleep. I'm sorry. You must be plumb frozen."
"It's alright. I'll warm by the fire now…don't pay me a nevermind." She insisted.
There was a long silence, and then he turned her around.
He was fully dressed now and smelled like lye soap. He looked magnificent to her. Her breath hitched as he stared into her eyes. For a moment, they just stared at each other.
"I'm sorry I left you out there so long. It wasn't intentional. I just got real relaxed I guess and went to sleep too. Funny how a bath can make you that way, isn't it?"
She needed to move away, but something pulled her toward him.
She couldn't move. She simply stared.
"Rachel?" His sweeping gaze and soft voice captured her attention.
"Yes…" she barely whispered.
"I saw you Rachel…in the tub…Forgive me…" He cleared his throat. "I just couldn't quite stop looking. You are one fine-looking woman, Rach." He moved closer. "I'll never admit seeing you, but I'll hold it in my heart forever. Hershel's one lucky man."
Her breath hitched again, and she felt her heart speed up. He had looked at her? But she had looked at him too.
She should be slapping him, reprimanding him, but with such a beautiful compliment, how could she. No one had ever said anything so nice to her in all her life.
"I guess…it couldn't be helped…" She swallowed.
"No ma'am. A man can't turn away from such beauty, it wouldn't be in his nature." Buck explained.
"I didn't mean for it to happen…" She explained looking guilty.
"It wasn't your fault." He stared into her eyes.
Shaking herself out of the trance he was weaving around her, she tried to laugh it off. "Well, it's over and done with. It won't happen again."
"Rach?"
"Yes?" She held her breath.
"Would you mind if I kissed you? I don't have no right, you being married to Hershel and all. But he ain't here, and…" He asked, leaning into her.
"Well I…" But she got no further. Suddenly his lips were on hers and this kiss was so potent she couldn't do anything but give into it. Her arms flew up and around his neck, urging him onward in his quest to conquer her. She smelled the lye soap he had used, she felt his arms flex as he held her tight, and the way his lips mastered hers in one try stunned her into submission.
It went on and on until he pulled slowly away from her. He looked down and shook his head. "I had no right to do that, Rach, but you tempt a man to lose his head. I apologize. It won't happen again."
"It won't?" She barely breathed the words as she willed her heart to slow down. The tingle of her lips made her lick them. He watched in fascination.
"No! You're Hershel's wife now. I got to respect that. Sometimes, that's hard, Rach. I mean…we being in each other's company for so long. Getting to know each other…I didn't mean to take advantage of you, Rach…"
She turned away now, disappointment and guilt had her reeling. How could she let it happen?
"Yes, you're right, of course." She straightened h
erself and moved away from him. "From now on, we should keep our distance from each other."
"Yes ma'am you are right." He agreed.
~*~
Three days had passed and no Hershel. Buck was getting mighty antsy about him too. He should have been here by now. If something went wrong, they could be stranded up here on the mountain alone for months and then what might happen? He knew what would happen. That kiss meant more than he could say. He'd never forget Rach and it was going to be hard leaving her here with Hershel.
He'd seen her naked, he's kissed her sweet lips, a few months alone, and they'd be sharing a bed, that much he was sure. It wasn't that he disrespected his friend, it was a strange and wonderful feeling, every time he got near her. But he knew he'd have to keep his feelings to himself. He fully realized she had married Hershel, even though it was him that stood up with her. Maybe that was part of what brought them together, standing up there, having the preacher read words over them, then kissing her. He felt he married her.
He'd gotten things confused in his head. He wasn't her husband. He had no rights. And he'd always considered himself an honorable man.
As she scrubbed Hershel's windows, she glanced at Buck who was making some kind of net on the floor.
"What are you making?"
"Just a fish net."
"What kind of work do you do, Buck? I know I asked this before, but I mean, now. Do you have anything stable? A regular job?"
He glanced up at her and noted how clean the windows looked after she washed them. "I do odd jobs around. Sometimes I hunt, sometimes I fish, sometimes I take stranded women to their intended." He smiled at her.
"You're teasing me. You don't have a trade or a steady job?"
"Well, I guess mostly, I'm a guide for hunters, explorers, people who don't know their way about the mountain. The army sometimes hires me out to scout for them, since I know most of the tribes around. If I don't have work, I hunt a lot, fish a lot and then every now and then I take pretty women up the mountain." Buck chuckled again.
She smiled down at him. "I don't know whether I've thanked you or not. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been at the station that day."
Brides of the West-Part One Page 30