"I'm crying for what she could have been. How she might have lived her life, had she the chance."
"She had a chance, don't you worry about that. Don't matter why you cry, girl. It's proper. Everyone needs a few tears at their funeral, to show someone cared about them."
"Does anything make you cry?"
Ma studied her a moment, stopping in her tracks to look at her. "The only thing I value is my son, Mike."
At that moment, Emily knew there was a spark of good in Ma, deep down somewhere. It might have only been a faint cry from her past, but it was there.
"I think you are right to some extent about Beth. But despite how she seemed, she wasn't all bad?" Emily said. "I should have been a better friend to her. I should have tried harder to get along with her, she was young and foolish in many ways, but many are at that age."
"See…even you didn't like her."
"Yes…even me. But that doesn't make it right. That's my guilt."
"You believe like you want child, if it comforts you. But I see her differently. Some people are just born rotten. She played with Angel. She paid the price for it, too. She was wicked and sinful. Don't have no feelings for people like that. It's a waste of time." Ma said.
"She was just a kid. Don't you think what Mike and these boys do is wicked and sinful? Angel took her. So she liked it. That doesn't make her evil."
"No…she lost her childhood when she had Angel." Ma declared.
"Did she have Angel, or did Angel have her?" Emily asked suddenly. "As young and lovely as she was, someone would have taken her anyway. So what does it matter now?"
"She flaunted herself. If she hadn't wanted his affection, she could have said so. She was a tramp, and that's all I feel about her."
"If she had said she wanted no part of Angel when he took her, he'd have killed her and you know it. How can you judge her when you and your family rob and steal from others."
"Now see here girly. I won't take talk like that. Angel would have been kind to her, just because she was a lovely woman, nothing else. Agreed, he participated in it, and that makes him guilty too. He got his too, didn't he. He's dead. He was such a good boy. Everyone loved Angel."
Emily clammed up. There was no use talking to people like this. Before, with Mike, she hadn't been afraid, but now she felt a chill she couldn't be rid of. This woman was so cold, so hard, and life meant so very little to her. Emily couldn't imagine anyone like that. She'd brought her child up like this. How could he know right from wrong if he'd never been taught? All because of this woman.
Now for the first time she considered trying to escape for surely her own fate could be just as sealed.
"Where did Mike go, exactly?" Emily asked that evening as they sat by the fire, warming.
Ma didn't answer at first, just stared into the fire, then she looked at her. "He went to find your man, and kill him. Then he'll come back here and you'll be married. Scar went with him."
A cold chill ran up her back at this news.
"He won't kill Cole. I know that as sure as I sit here. I don't think your son is in love with me." Emily argued. "I'm not in love with him. And I've never given that impression."
"Maybe, maybe not, but this isn't about what you want. Now you settle down. When Mike gets back, we'll have a ceremony and that will be the end of it. Your fate is sealed, accept it."
Emily glanced at the boys huddled around Angel, talking about the past and shaking their heads. "He let a woman get to him. That can be a man's ruin."
"Yeah!" another said.
When Emily didn't say anything, Ma added, "Love ain't got nothing to do with it, girl. We don't live in no fantasy world up here. You'll be good for him. That's all that matters. He'll need a strong woman when I am gone. Now he'll have one. And I won't have to worry about it. I aimed to take care of this long ago, but no one came around that I thought had a lick of sense. But you've got backbone. I like that. You speak your peace that's partly why you are still alive. If you lied like she did, you'd be dead too."
"Is he your only son?" Emily asked staring at the woman, to see if she could find some inner sadness within her that made her so cold to life.
"Only one left. Herbert and Mull died a few years back."
Emily searched the woman's eyes for some sign of pain and hurt that she'd lost two of her sons, but she found no feelings at all. The woman just accepted their death and went on.
"How? How did you lose them."
"Bank robbery. Both of them were shot down on the street like dogs. Like dogs, I tell yah. On the same day. I tell you to lose two on the same day…it's too much to bare."
"I'm sorry for you. It must hurt a lot to lose two of them at once."
Ma eyed her sorely now.
"Don't be sorry for me girl. Death is as much a part of living as anything else in life." She stared at her. "We accept that and go on."
"But they wouldn't have been killed if they hadn't robbed a bank. Don't you see that?"
"It was their time."
Emily clammed up, knowing there was nothing she could say that would sway this woman. The woman had her mind set a certain way, and she believed she was right.
Emily stared out at the rain. Hopelessness stared back at her.
Emily's mind was on Cole now and his survival. Although Cole was well used to the elements on the mountain, she worried about him. Would Mike best him. Something inside her told her he wouldn't. Something so strong. She held her head up high and she was silent the rest of the day. She kept saying a prayer for Cole. It kept her strong too.
"Know this…" Ma looked up at her as she spoke. "I won't be a wife to your son, no matter what happens. I'm married. I love my husband, and I will always love him, no matter what happens." Emily had said before she laid her head down for the night.
"No matter, you will consummate the marriage, and if not willingly, you will be his slave, then."
"Don't you want the best for your son?"
"The best. The best what? You live or you die that's all there is to it." Ma said. "Now get some sleep, I'm tired of jawing with you. Sometimes a smart person is boring to talk to."
Emily went to sleep despite the day. She closed her mind to Beth's funeral and her life. She closed her mind to Mike killing Cole. It would never happen.
But her admission of love for Cole did stay in her mind and heart and somehow admitting it aloud brought the reality of it closer.
No matter the outcome, she did love Cole.
It was easy to admit now, when she felt her days were numbered. For surely Mike would kill her himself when he realized she didn't intend being his wife.
She wondered if Cole was still with the train, or if he followed them. Knowing Cole he had followed. And he probably brought Perez with him to help track them. Cole did the right thing, no matter what. He would want to take her, Beth and as much of the money and possessions as he could back to the people. He was responsible for the people, and Beth was one of those people.
Emily couldn't help but wonder how Mrs. Meriwether was fairing. She hadn't been well, and Emily hoped she would weather this storm. She had come to think so much of the lady.
Funny how she worried about all of the people on the train, almost as much as Cole. She knew a lot of them personally now and she'd miss them.
She missed the others too, Perez, Hawk, Sam, and Bill. She even missed cooking for them. Since Mrs. Meriwether taught her to cook, she enjoyed it. She wanted to learn more from her.
She remembered that in all the years that she had cooked for her Uncle, he had never said the words, 'thank you.' He'd never said it was good. He naturally expected her to cook for him. As though all her life, she owed him something.
Cole's men had expressed their thanks
every day. She held dear the way they loved her coffee and couldn't wait to get a cup when they came to camp. And even though it seemed trivial, she knew how important that first cup of coffee in the wee hours of the morning could be.
She'd
learned a lot on this trip. She'd learned to cook, she'd gained a new respect for the real pioneers. But most of all, she'd learned to love. Nothing would ever destroy that inside her.
But no matter her own outcome, she'd have her memories to hold dear.
And the love she held for Cole, no one could destroy.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
It was early morning, the sun was just dawning. The camp was quiet as they packed up to get ready to ride. No birds sang, it was very still.
"Escuchaste eso?" Perez asked as they were about to break camp that morning. A small billowing of smoke from their camp filled the air as Perez smothered the fire.
"No…." Perez often used his Spanish and Cole had picked up on the language.
An owl hooted, the air seemed too still around them, almost suffocating.
Then suddenly two men jumped out of the bushes and approached them with their guns pulled.
"Hold it right there." One of them called.
The man with a scar across his face came forward and stared at them. His face like stone. "Drop your guns."
Cole unbuckled his belt and let it slide to the ground.
But Perez only let his slide to his lower hip and he pulled his and shot Scar. It happened so fast, it took a minute for the smoke to disappear.
About that time, Mike came up and shot Perez in the leg.
Cole had just enough time to grab his gun, hit the dirt and fire at Mike.
Mike fell, he'd been gut shot.
Cole bent over him. "Is she still alive?"
Mike stared at him, as though he couldn't see him. "Sure…makes the best coffee…"
"I'm sorry…but I had to shoot…" Cole stared at him. "You're not much older than Beth. Is she alive?"
"I'm gonna die…aren't I?" Mike cried out.
"Yeah son, I think you are. Want to tell me where your camp is?"
All the while Perez was wrapping his leg with his bandana to stop the bleeding. He hobbled toward Cole.
"Up the mountain. But you'll never find it." He grunted and a pain must have shot through him because he held his breath, then rolled to his side, dead.
Cole glanced at Perez. "Let me look at that leg?"
"It will be fine…"
"I'll take the bullet out," Cole told him. "And bandage it. Then it will be fine. Don't be stubborn, I want you on your feet. You're too valuable to lose, Perez."
"I'll be fine.."
"No, you won't. Now simmer down and lay down so I can work on getting that bullet out." Cole directed him as he took some supplies from his saddle bags.
"You’re a stubborn hombre…" Perez insisted.
Cole smiled. "Yes, I am."
Cole saw how much pain he was in then pulled out a bottle of whiskey.
Perez smiled. "Si…that is good. I could use some about now."
Cole handed it to him. "Leave some for the wound, will you?"
"Si…" Perez swallowed a big gulp then handed it to Cole. "Don't waste it. Madre de Jesús!" Perez shouted when Cole took the bottle and poured some on his wound.
"The kid said Emily was still alive. I don't know about Beth, he never answered."
"It is good she is alive."
Cole looked at him for a second. "He liked her coffee."
"Si…on that I would agree. I wish I had some of it now…" Perez tried to laugh. "It would warm my innards."
"Hold still partner, this is gonna hurt."
Perez went white with pain, but he did not yell out. He grit his teeth and when he finished digging Cole showed him the bullet.
Perez took one look and keeled over.
"Sleep my friend…" Cole said and put the supplies up.
He'd let Perez rest and then they would head out. Perez was invaluable in tracking these people. He needed him, but more than that, he was his friend.
Cole wondered what Emily might have had to go through. He worried about her. She always acted strong and tough, but he knew there was a soft heart underneath all that effort to be strong.
~*~
It was finally time to bury Angel. Ma went all out for the boy. Several of Mike's men were pall bearers, they had a regular church service and then a burial. The had him in a pine box, and several girls in the congregation cried at his funeral. Another girl sang a solo and even Ma wept.
Emily didn't understand this at first until she realized that Angel was family to Ma. Beth had been nothing more than a stranger to them. And Ma kept referring to her as a tramp. Obviously to Ma's thinking, robbing banks was not a crime or sin.
It wasn't fair. Beth was young and naturally she made some mistakes, but to bury her without a casket seemed unusually cruel. To fling mud in her face like they had.
When they came home from the funeral, Ma was fretting.
"Mike should have been back if your man were following. Maybe he had to go back to the train. I hope not. Too many people there. He could get caught himself. I wish he were home. I am worried sick."
Emily felt encouraged that Mike hadn't returned. The longer he was gone, the better for her.
The boys tried to comfort Ma, but Emily remained silent. She didn't feel like trying to cheer anyone up. She was weary of this place and these people.
She was also worried about Cole and Perez. She hoped they hadn't followed. She hoped they didn't have a skirmish too. She'd seen enough bloodshed for a while. She knew Cole was good with a gun, but she didn't know how he'd be in a fight.
"Get some supper on, gal. I'm getting hungry." Ma hollered at her that evening. Worrying over her son had made her temperamental.
Emily didn't care. She was worried too.
She went into the kitchen and began putting together something. Since there was a baked ham from the day before, she made sandwiches for everyone. No one complained except Ma.
"We should have had a hot meal. Tomorrow you cook a big meal for us. Mike should be back tomorrow."
"What makes you think so?" Emily cast her a sarcastic glance.
"Don't get sassy with me girl. I'd just soon shoot you as look at you." Ma said as she sat at the table and watched her clean the dishes up.
"I thought you wanted me to marry your son?" Emily asked.
"Girl you want to die today?" Ma asked setting her pistol on the table and staring at it.
Emily ignored her.
She spotted the gun and figured she'd be better off not saying anything.
Finishing the dishes, she dried her hands and sat at the table with Ma.
There was an old bible sitting on a little table with a lamp on it.
"Do you read the bible?"
Ma glanced around at the book and shrugged. "I used to. Don't have much use for it anymore. Although, Jesus used to walk with thieves and adulterers. He was a man that could forgive anyone."
"Do you want forgiveness, Ma?" Emily asked.
"I ain't held up no bank or stages," Ma answered.
"No, but you raised a man to do that. You hide him from the law. You protect him. And you don't shame him."
"He's my own, I wouldn't shame my own, no matter what he done."
Emily nodded. "I guess you wouldn't."
"Family is blood kin. Blood is thicker than water." Ma explained.
"So I've heard," Emily remarked.
"Don't you got no family?"
"I have an Uncle back east," Emily admitted.
"What happened to your folks?"
"They died when I was young," Emily answered.
"So you and your Uncle was close, then?"
"No ma'am. We were never close."
Ma eyed her carefully now, "He fed you didn't he?"
"Yes…he fed me."
"He put clothes on your back."
"Yes, he did."
"And you don't hold no regard for the man for doing that?" Ma frowned, not understanding the situation.
Emily thought about that for a minute. It sounded very cold to say she didn't care. Perhaps this woman thought her just as cold as she.
; "I was a child. He didn't love me. He took care of me. But he didn't love me. He could afford it. He was a wealthy man."
"Your Uncle was rich huh? Well, now…maybe he'd pay a good price to have you back."
Emily covered her mouth and laughed. Then she shook her head. "No…you are wrong. He wouldn't pay a cent to get me back."
"Not even if we threatened to kill you?"
"No…he'd rather see me dead, than alive," Emily remarked.
Ma studied her face for a while. "You come from a strange family."
Emily laughed, a dry unfeeling laugh. Ma was right, she did come from an odd family.
"I guess you are right."
"We ain't much, but we care about one another." Ma defended her family.
"Yes, I guess you do at that," Emily admitted.
"I wish Mike would hurry up and get back. He knows how I worry about him."
~*~
While Perez slept, Cole dug a grave for Mike and Scar. He wondered about Scar. Such a loner. Not even a decent name to put on his tombstone. But he merely made a cross for each of them and then he settled back for a little nap too.
When Perez woke, Cole had a pot of coffee going for them.
"I guess we lost some time today, no?" Perez asked as he poured himself a cup.
"That's alright, I doubt we'll have anyone else coming after us."
Perez nodded. "You look tired amigo."
"Weary is more like it. It's cold enough to freeze a grasshopper in midair…"
"We will need to keep the fire going all night, so we are not the grasshoppers." Perez laughed.
"Okay, I'll let you take the first watch since you got a lot of sleep this afternoon."
"Si…I will. Tell me something…if I am not too noisy."
"What?" Cole looked at him.
"Emily was an unmarried woman. And you do not allow unmarried women on the train. Is that why you married her, so she could come along?" Perez asked as Cole put his blanket down.
He glanced across the fire at him. "Partly."
"And the other reason?" He smiled at him now.
Cole propped himself on one elbow. "She had the prettiest head of hair I'd ever seen on a woman. And eyes like an angel. One minute they were hot with temper, the next, soft as an angel. She intrigued me from the beginning."
Brides of the West-Part One Page 60
