“He’s lost some weight. He misses you.”
Her “yeah” was a confession, of sorts. “I rode Imperator yesterday.”
“How was he?”
“Awesome. Incredible. Like riding Pegasus. All I had to do was think, and he made the change I wanted.” Her expression changed from ecstatic to worried in an instant. “I hope they get to keep him.”
“Why wouldn’t they?”
“Rhys…Rhys says that if Imp doesn’t win at Top Flight, he’ll be sold to some sheikh.”
That didn’t sound like the man she knew. “He would sell the horse?”
“No, he doesn’t own Imp. I didn’t understand everything, but I think Andrew’s grandfather is the one who makes the decision.”
She should have thought of that. Rhys wouldn’t necessarily own the horse he rode for the stable. And, yes, she could believe Owen Lewellyn would do something so mean. “When did this happen?”
“I think…the morning after the schooling day. Somehow Andrew’s grandfather found out that Imp refused the jump and called. Or something like that.”
She’d talked with Rhys many times since then, and he hadn’t shared something this important, this vital to his concerns, with her. Jacquie pushed the hurt down deep, to be ached over later. “Erin, I’m truly sorry you found out about your father the way you did. That was never my intention.”
More twisting of the fingers. “You never meant me to know at all.”
“I’m not sure. I might have decided to tell you, when you were older.”
“You lied to me. My whole life.”
“Not just you. I had never told anyone the truth.” She took a deep breath. “Until Rhys came.”
“I missed him, you know. My dad.” Erin got to her feet and went to the window. “I used to imagine he was watching me, taking care of me from heaven. I talked to him, sometimes, told him what was going on. And he’s not real. Never was.”
Jacquie gripped her own hands together. “I am so sorry. I wanted to protect you. And myself. People can be cruel, without meaning to be.”
“Yeah.” After a pause, she said, “You didn’t even tell Grandma?”
“No one.”
“Why? Were you scared of her and Granddaddy?”
“Not exactly. Just…ashamed…of myself for disappointing them. They didn’t bring me up to be the girl who had a baby at nineteen without being married.”
“Do they know now?”
“Yes.”
“And…are they? Disappointed in you?” Her voice sank to a whisper. “In me?”
“Oh, no, Erin. There’s no blame in this for you. You’re still the darling of their eye.” She wanted to take her daughter in her arms, but Erin still seemed very far away. “They don’t blame me, either. They just want us to be happy again. Together.”
“I like Rhys.”
“He’s a good man. As soon as I told him about you, he began to care.” Jacquie took a risk. “What you said…about your dad watching over you…in a way, you might have been talking to Rhys. You might have been in his mind, without him knowing.” Erin looked at her, and she shrugged. “I know, that’s weird. But you two are so much alike, maybe… Never mind.”
“No, I get it.” Another deep breath. “Andrew said that the truth can be worse than lies. His mother told him he wasn’t wanted, by anybody.”
“That’s not the truth. The whole truth, anyway. His dad was surprised to know there was a baby, but he was always committed to taking care of his son.”
“Did you think about…abortion?”
An easy answer. “Not for a single instant.”
Erin’s tense stance eased slightly. “Were you sorry?”
Not easy at all. “Let me ask you a question. You’ve got big plans for yourself—lots of competition, the Olympics, the whole world ahead of you. Suppose you find out tomorrow that all those plans will have to change. Something is going to happen in your life—something wonderful, if unexpected. Nothing will ever be the same for you again. Your money, your time, your energy will all go in a different direction. How do you feel?”
“I’m not sure. I wouldn’t want to give up my riding for anything.”
“But in this situation you will have to, at least for a while.”
“I—I would be mad, I think.” She nodded. “Yeah. And sorry.”
“That’s your answer. I wanted Rhys’s baby—you—because I loved him. But my dreams of the Olympics, Rolex and all the big events…gone. I was scared, because I had nobody in New York except Rhys, and he wasn’t mine anymore. I was guilty, because I’d been with a man I wasn’t married to, a man who was still married, himself. Eighteen years of church school had taught me how wrongly I’d behaved.” She gave a wry smile. “I had very little money, but I couldn’t go home to face my family and friends with my ‘sin.’”
Erin came back to the couch. “That sounds horrible.”
“Yes, it was. Until you were born, and I held you in my arms and saw just how lovely, how sweet, how perfect you were. All the pain went away, all the regret. And I haven’t felt sorry since. Until I hurt you.”
They sat for a few minutes without talking at all. Erin stroked her hand over Hurry’s side, a soft brush of sound in the silence.
“How do we do this?” she said finally.
“What?”
“Do you…want me here?”
“Oh, Erin.” She reached out to clasp her daughter’s hand. “Of course.”
“Can I still see…my dad?”
“I hope so.” Though the prospect of being involved in Rhys’s life—or rather, on the edge of Rhys’s life—terrified her. “I don’t see why not.”
“Okay.” Pulling free, Erin stood up and walked to the door of her bedroom. “Wow. I didn’t remember the rug was blue.”
Jacquie followed, but stood back a bit in the hallway. “We haven’t seen it in a long time, have we?” They both chuckled. “I’ll expect your room—the whole house—to stay like this from now on. I’m really liking the neat look.”
“Maybe I will go back to Rhys’s house. They have somebody who comes in to clean.”
“Too late. You’re trapped.” She stretched her arms from wall to wall, pretending to block the way.
“I will escape.” Grinning, Erin put her head down like a football player intent on breaking through the defensive line. As she passed, Jacquie dropped her arms and caught the slim body close.
“Gotcha.”
She’d intended to let go immediately. But Erin froze in her arms and then, suddenly, collapsed in tears against her breast.
Jacquie sank to the floor, bringing her daughter with her, holding the sobbing girl in her lap, smoothing her hair, stroking her back, whispering words of comfort and love. Her own tears had dried with the knowledge that Erin was coming home.
As long as they were together, they could work things out.
“THIS COULD TAKE FOREVER,” Andrew said, as Erin stepped inside the small white house. “And you know she’s gonna stay here. Why can’t we just go home and send her clothes?”
“She needs to know she has a choice,” Rhys said. He rubbed his tired eyes. The possibility of a good night’s sleep seemed like a figment of his imagination these days. “Backing a horse—or a person—into a corner is a sure way to make them fight.”
A long-suffering sigh came from behind him. “I’m supposed to ride Imp this afternoon.”
“You’ll have time.”
“Have you decided who will ride him in the Top Flight trials?”
Rhys put his head back against the seat. “I will.”
When Andrew didn’t say anything, he turned toward the rear of the truck. “Well?”
The boy nodded. “Cool. That’s what I wanted you to say.”
“We could easily lose. Erin’s theory is mostly wishful thinking. I’m not at my best, physically, and—”
“Dad. Whoa. I get the picture.”
“I just want to be sure your expectations are realistic. I
mperator will most probably be sold whether I ride or not.”
“As you’re always saying, we’ll jump that fence when we get there. Just ride the one coming up.”
“Somehow, I’m not enjoying having my own words thrown back at me.”
“That’s what kids do.”
“Terrific.” Rhys met Andrew’s eyes in the rearview mirror and smiled. “But I suppose it could be worse.”
“I can work on that, if you want.”
“Don’t do me any favors.”
The tree shadows had grown long by the time Erin and Jacquie came out of the house. Erin was smiling, tossing a ball for Hurry. She came to the truck ahead of her mother and opened the back door.
“I’m gonna stay,” she announced. “I need my book bag now, but I can get my clothes the next time I’m over.” A frown took over her face, and she came to stand beside Rhys’s open window.
“I—I mean, is that okay? Can I still visit you…and Imp and Mr. O’Neal? Do I get to come back?”
“If that’s what you want. I was hoping you would.” He held out his hand, palm up, and she put hers into it. “I don’t want to lose you again, scamp. We’ll see each other. Often.”
Her sunny smile returned. “Good.”
In the back seat, Andrew groaned. “Don’t I have anything to say about this?”
Rhys said, at the same instant as Erin, “No.”
“Just asking.”
“I’m gonna go see Mirage,” she said. “But…”
“I’ll call,” Rhys promised. “Go on.”
As she ran off, Andrew opened his door. “I’m tired of sitting. I’m going to look at this stallion she’s always bragging about. Honk when you’re ready to go.”
Jacquie came closer, though not close enough to touch. “Thank you,” she said simply. The stress of the past weeks showed in the shadows under her eyes, the thinness of her cheeks. At least the sadness, the worry, had left her eyes.
“Better?”
“I think so. I have to earn my way back to full trust, I imagine. That’s understandable.”
“Erin wasn’t hard to convince. I think she really wanted to come home.”
“She wanted to stay with you, too. A hard choice.”
“She’s welcome at Fairfield anytime. And…” Touchy subject. “I would like to give her more lessons. On Mirage, and…some of my bigger horses, as well.” He decided not to mention Imperator, since that option was likely to disappear.
But she was ahead of him. “I understand Imperator will be sold if he doesn’t win at Top Flight.”
“My father doesn’t want to keep a horse that isn’t winning.”
“You didn’t tell me about this.”
“There have been…complications, wouldn’t you agree? The horse was the least of them.”
“Who’ll be riding him in the Top Flight trials?”
He have her a half smile. “Your daughter made me promise I would. She suggested that facing you was the more frightening of the two challenges.”
Jacquie grimaced, but came forward a couple of steps. Within reach.
“So you’re going to ride Imperator cross-country. I think that’s the right thing to do. And I think you’ll be fine.”
“I was just telling Andrew—the chances of winning are slim. And that’s my father’s condition. Win, or the horse will be sold.”
“He has a buyer?”
“He says so. One-point-five million.”
She whistled. “That’s a big sale.” Her forehead furrowed as she considered. “What if he got a counteroffer for more money?”
“I suppose he would consider the bottom line and take the better deal.”
“So we should offer one-point-six?”
Rhys glanced at the barn. “Are you spinning hay into gold in there? Or do your horses digest grass into cash?”
Her laugh sounded sweet in the late-afternoon warmth. “I wish. But that would give us insurance, right? Just in case the ride doesn’t go the way we hope?”
He couldn’t begin to understand what she might be thinking. “Yes. I suppose so. Where would we get that kind of cash?”
She put a hand on the edge of the door between them. “You have friends, Rhys. I have friends. And between them all, we might get a lifeline, at least.”
He stared at her hand for a moment, saw again the strength and grace contained there. “You keeping saying ‘we.’” Before she could draw her hand away, he caught hold and looked into her eyes. “Why?”
Jacquie started to stammer something foolish, evading his gaze and the truth. But a sudden serenity fell over her. The time for defensiveness and insecurity had passed.
“We share a child, and we both care about her. Those bonds will always tie us together.”
“Only those bonds?”
She wasn’t quite prepared for that question. “I don’t know.”
Rhys nodded his head once. “Right. So you want to put together a consortium to offer for Imperator. Who, exactly, are you planning to ask?”
“I think we should start at the top.” She grinned. “Can you give me Galen’s phone number?”
LONG AFTER ANDREW and Rhys had left, after her mom had cooked her favorite macaroni and cheese for dinner, with gingersnaps and lemonade as dessert, Erin went back to the barn to be with Mirage.
She stroked her hand along his ribs, which she could see even in the dark, and his hip, where the bone poked up too high. “You are sooo skinny. Did you think I wouldn’t come back to you? Did you really believe I would go away and leave you behind? I couldn’t do that. I love you too much!
“I just had to see my life from somewhere else, you know? Perspective, we humans call it. My whole world used to be here—the pastures, the house, the barn. My mom. And then this other world opened up, and I couldn’t tell where I belonged anymore. I wasn’t even sure this world, the one I trusted for so long, was real.”
With her arms resting on Mirage’s back, she put her cheek against his side. “Took me awhile, but I figured out that I can build my world anywhere I want. So I’m getting ready to create this great big place where I can have everything—you and Imperator and Hurry and Sydney, my mom and my dad and Mr. O’Neal. Even Andrew. We’re gonna have an awesome time, Mirage. I can hardly wait.”
Mirage shifted his hips, snuffled in his hay, flicked his tail at a fly. Erin smiled, to him and to herself.
“And no, I don’t love that big horse better than you. He’s special, but you’re special, too, in a different way. You’re my best friend.
“Forever.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE IMPERATOR CONSORTIUM, as Jacquie called it, met on Wednesday night at Charlie’s Carolina Diner, with only ten days to go before the Top Flight Horse Trials. Their conference room took up the center of the restaurant—three tables for four set end to end. The refreshment of choice proved to be coffee—or, for Erin and Andrew, milk—and Super Duper Triple Scooper Banana Splits all around.
“My thanks to all of you for coming,” Jacquie said from one end of the table. “I know this isn’t convenient, and you don’t have a compulsion to be here, except that you’re all really nice people who want to help out a friend.”
“And you said you were buying the banana splits,” added Dixon Bell. Kate, sitting beside him, shoved her elbow into his ribs.
“Right.” She grinned at him. “Okay. The problem is simple. I would like to be able to make a purchase offer on the stallion Imperator. Most of you have seen him, and I sent you the details of his breeding, his wins, his current stud fees, and his potential. This is an investment opportunity. He’s sound, he’s got great spirit. The last few months have been rocky, but we think that problem is on the way to being solved. Rhys and Imp rode the cross-country course at Fairfield Farm yesterday without a refusal.”
Beside her, Rhys tilted his head and acknowledged the applause.
Adam DeVries raised his hand. “How much money are we talking about?”
“As far as
we are aware, the current offer is a million and a half dollars.”
The mayor blinked and glanced at Phoebe, on Jacquie’s left. “That’s a lot of money.”
“I know. If each of us contributed equally, counting engaged or married couples together, we would put in three hundred thousand apiece. But that’s not what I’m asking, because…we have a fairy godmother.”
At the other end of the table, Galen smiled widely. “Ooh, I like that idea. Do I get a magic wand?”
Jacquie winked at her. “Definitely. Galen is a horsewoman and owner of some renown and she knows exactly what she’s doing when she buys an animal. Imperator will be an excellent match for some of her mares. She has agreed to provide the balance of the money for Imp.”
“But not all?” Buck Travis asked. “Why would that be?”
“I do have a limit to my resources,” Galen said frankly. “And our bargaining position is better if I don’t use all my available capital up front. This way, if our competitor tries to bid us up, I’ve got something to go up with.”
Buck stared at her. “An intelligent woman is worth her weight in gold. Will you marry me?”
Jacquie held her breath and the whole table watched as, for probably the first time in her life, Galen Oakley was completely taken aback. Finally she regained her poise. “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I could ask.” He sat back in his chair with a satisfied smile.
“Well.” With a shake of her head, Jacquie refocused. “What we’re here for tonight is to discover if you’re interested in contributing to the purchase price and how much, and to set down the operating rules for our consortium to everyone’s satisfaction. We have legal advice from Attorney Edward Bowdrey, Kate’s dad.” She nodded at the distinguished gentleman next to Kate. “And Rhys can answer any and all questions on Imperator. We will take offers in a sealed envelope, so your contribution will remain private.”
She stacked her papers together. “And here’s the bottom line—if any one of you doesn’t want to contribute, can’t, won’t…whatever…there will be no hard feelings. I know I’ve…made some mistakes, and hurt the people I care about most. I really appreciate that you’ve come tonight, despite that. This isn’t a test. Feel free to accept or decline as you are persuaded.”
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