‘I don’t doubt it,’ he laughed.
‘I think everyone deserves to have a chance in life and to have someone who’s willing to fight for them when they can’t do it themselves. That’s me.’
‘Good answer. Welcome to the team.’ His smile totally lit up his face and in that moment, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jamie Dawson was going to become important to me. ‘Listen, earlier on, I had no idea you were my student. You don’t look like a student. I mean, you look older. Not older. You look hot, not old. Shit. I mean you look good. Jesus. I mean you’re not what I was expecting.’
Neck rub and adorable stuttering. Fuck.
I laughed. ‘What you mean is there’s a hint of flirtation in our banter and we can’t go there.’
His eyes widened slightly and he smiled as he rubbed his hand along the back of his neck.
‘You always say what you think?’ he asked on a grin.
‘What’s the point of talking if you don’t say what you think?’
‘True. If we stop the flirty banter, I think we’re going to get on well.’
‘I’ll warn you, I’m a natural flirt, so it may slip out at times, which could be a concern. I’ve always been flirty. Can’t help myself. I take after my mum. It’s probably not always flirty. It could be described as more friendly than flirty, but I find people often describe it as flirting.’
‘Bloody hell.’ He smiled and looked at me in complete fascination.
‘Anyway, if I happen to get flirty, don’t take it personally. It’s just…me,’ I told him.
‘Don’t take it personally? I’m disappointed,’ he said.
I held my smile under my teeth. ‘Isn’t that a continuation of flirty banter, or doesn’t that count? Let’s officially stop the flirty banter. Starting from…now.’ I watched his smile closely and I swear everything shifted in that moment. I wasn’t sure what to do with the shift, so I let my mouth take over. ‘Maybe I encourage flirty banter. Or maybe I just give off a flirty vibe. I’m not sure. I wish I knew. Really.’
‘I have a word to describe you,’ he smiled. ‘Garrulous.’
‘What the hell does that mean, Professor Dawson?’
‘You talk about everything at a fast pace. You add three extra words where you only need to use one.’
‘Words are never a waste,’ I said, shaking my head.
‘I have a feeling I’ll never consider yours a waste.’
As he knocked my shoulder, I arched an eyebrow. He hadn’t long finished his serious let’s not flirt talk, but he had thrown in a couple of highly flirty statements that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else.
‘I bet your English teacher was Irish,’ he said, changing the tone of the subject.
‘No, my dad was.’
‘Explains the green eyes.’
He smiled and stretched out his leg. He was wearing the most amazing orange, yellow and red stripy socks. They were such a contrast to his conservative short-sleeved shirt and chinos, although he had rolled them up at the ankle to give his social work uniform more of a personal touch.
Is it normal to lust after stripy socks?
Chapter Nine
Jamie
Then.
I could have got used to seeing the beautiful face that had been sitting at the end of my desk for the last few weeks. Not only was she gorgeous and made me laugh like no one else, she also had balls of steel. I knew fairly quickly that she would fly through her placement.
My last student dropped out after four weeks. On her first home visit, she refused to go past the front gate after hearing a dog barking. When I asked how she was going to make a thorough assessment of need if she didn’t enter the house. She said she would ask if they were happy to do it standing outside the front door. It wasn’t a shining example of social work.
I imagined Abi was born shaking her fist at the world, making her mark in her first few moments and never letting that spark of personality drop. She would talk to anyone who would listen and she didn’t appear to have any kind of brain-to-mouth filter. She had already sat down beside every social worker in the office and asked questions even I wouldn’t ask.
What did you learn from your hardest case?
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen and how did you cope?
Can I shadow a difficult home visit with you?
She was desperate for knowledge, didn’t shy away from anything, volunteered until her diary was bursting with appointments, and often worked beyond her scheduled hours.
‘I see in the diary you’re down for an initial assessment visit this afternoon. Can I come with you?’
‘Have you got space?’
‘I can make space,’ she said with a determined look.
‘OK, you need to know the details.’ I reached over to the stack of papers on my desk and searched for the file. ‘Here, read the report.’ She took it from me in a swift swoop and I laughed at her excitement. ‘We got a call from a neighbour to say she suspects the kids are being left alone whilst their mother goes out to work.’
‘Oh God. How old?’
‘Eldest is six, youngest is four.’
‘That’s so young! Poor things. How long is she leaving them?’ She wrote everything down so that she didn’t miss any tiny piece of information.
‘Not sure. The neighbour said a male comes every few hours, probably just to check in, but leaves shortly after. So, what would be the first thing we need to do?’
‘We would need to check the system just to see if social care have been involved before,’ she said, smiling wide when I nodded my head in agreement.
‘Do it. Let me know if you find anything, then we’ll take it from there.’
She jumped up and walked round the back of my desk to use the computer next to me. She crouched next to me and crossed her arms on the desk. Her elbow gently pressed into my arm and she felt so warm and so close that I consciously left my arm there. Fuck pins and needles and numb arms. She was worth it.
‘We went out a few months ago after a similar referral,’ she said, flashing her eyes. They were wide for knowledge and sparkling green, the light entering the huge windows of the old school building bouncing off them. They were the first thing I noticed about her. The colour was so striking that everyone always assumed she wore contacts, hiding the true dark brown that would match her skin tone. Her flowing dark hair betrayed her light eye colour, such a mix of contrasts that I found hard to look away from.
‘A few months ago?’ Get back into professional mode, Jamie. Appear reflective and in control. Send a memo with the same message to your cock. ‘So, what does that tell you first?’
‘We didn’t take any further action. Maybe the neighbour was mistaken.’ She bit the side of her mouth like she was waiting to be told she was wrong.
‘Possible, but it could be the neighbour trying to cause problems. They may have had a falling out, or maybe we just didn’t have enough evidence. What do we need to ask on the visit?’
‘Relationships with neighbours. We also need to explore if she is actually leaving them, if she is working, and if she’s made arrangements for their care, that sort of thing.’
‘Great. Make some notes. I’m going to let you lead.’
‘Really?’ She started bouncing around the back of my chair. ‘I won’t let you down. My life has been leading up to this moment. This is going to be the pinnacle of my career! Thank you.’
Bloody hell, Abi Sinclair. If it’s that easy to put a smile on your face, I’m going to do this every day.
‘I’m just going to make a quick coffee, then I need to do a visit before this initial assessment,’ I said as she was still bounding around the office.
‘I’ll come with you. Could do with an injection of energy,’ she said, winking boldly. I couldn’t help but smile. She needed caffeine like I needed a higher caseload.
I knew what I did need. Her fucking arse in the palm of my hands.
When I reached the staff room, Abi was laughing about something with
Elle, guilt plastered across her face. I was beginning to wonder if that was her natural look. I leant against the door ‘How are things going, Elle? Fed up with Luke’s boring textbook practices?’
‘Oh, no, I’m fine. I’m picking up a lot.’
‘Good. I’m glad. I’m teaching Abi that coffee is the way to her practice tutor’s heart.’
Fuck. What did I just say?
Elle turned to Abi. ‘Are we meeting at lunch?’
‘I can’t. I’m doing an initial visit later, so we’ll be out most of the afternoon. Meet me at the café later. Cake and hot chocolate. My treat.’ Elle nodded as she carried a tray of cups and a packet of biscuits.
‘Cake? Sounds good,’ I smiled.
‘Oh, we meet at a café to catch up or do a bit of coursework. You’re welcome to join us, but I need to warn you that our friend Gem is having problems with her husband and wants to give us all the details.’
‘Details?’ I was wandering into dodgy territory.
‘You know, girl talk. Moaning about men. More specifically, her complete wanker of a husband. Basically, she suspects he’s having an affair.’
‘Are you sure she wants me tagging along? I am a man after all. She may want to talk about cutting off his penis. I could restrict the healing process.’
‘Maybe a male perspective would be good.’
‘I’m not so sure. I could pass on my wisdom if we’re talking dating issues, but marriage problems? Sounds messy.’
‘Would you be more comfortable if we were talking about something else? We like to discuss lots of male related issues. Even skills.’ Something told me Abi was holding back from her usual method of communication. The girl didn’t have a filter.
‘Skills?’ I goaded.
‘Yeah. Technique, size, girth.’
There she was.
‘Fuck me,’ I said rubbing my forehead. ‘Is that what you do? Discuss girth?’
‘Yeah, but tonight’s specialist subject is the legend of the female ejaculation, more commonly know as squirting.’ I raised my eyebrows and moved my hand down from my forehead to the back of my neck. This subject definitely required a neck rub.
‘Legend?’
‘Total legend. A myth; doesn’t exist.’
‘Jesus, don’t kill the dream,’ I laughed nervously.
Must stop being inappropriate at work…
‘I may be making that up.’
‘The fact that it’s a myth, or that you won’t really be talking about it tonight?’
‘I’ll leave you to guess,’ she smiled.
‘Is this really what’s on the agenda for tonight’s conversation topic?’
She laughed wonderfully. ‘No, Jamie, I’m trying to make you blush. I think I might have managed it.’
I had to stand there for a minute before I could go back to the office. I wasn’t in the habit of highlighting my sexual arousal at work.
She didn’t have to do anything to cause an erection. It just happened. It was getting awkward. There was a bump underneath her blouse that often caused a cock ache. I’d noticed it the first time we met. The coffee stain had only framed it like a painting that should be hanging pride of place above my bed. My eyes had zoomed in and sought out the fascinating ridge. A piercing. I was pretty sure her nipple was pierced. Without moving forward or to brush my finger across the bump, I couldn’t be certain. But I very nearly did. Three times. I was sure by the way she looked at me sometimes that she wouldn’t give two tosses if I’d done just that. In fact, her dilated pupils were willing me on.
She was the definition of naughty just through the gleam in her eye. I wanted to touch every part of her. Every mesmerising inch.
When I returned to the office, she was already packing up her things ready to leave, but she sat back down when I pointed to my coffee.
‘Sorry, I’m keen to get started. Where are we off to first?’ she said.
‘I just need to call in on a family of mine. It’s the youngest girl’s birthday and I have something for her.’
‘You give birthday presents?’
‘Always. Nothing too big, but I’ve always thought my gift might be the only one they get, which is a big deal,’ I replied as she started making notes.
‘I’ve never thought about it that way.’ She smiled the biggest smile yet, and I wanted to tell her everything I knew, every little thing I’d picked up along the way, all the tricks that would keep her looking at me like I was the most amazing thing she had ever seen.
‘I’m passing on my infinite wisdom to you. Like a social work Yoda, and you’re my protégé, Abi Skywalker.’
She threw her head back and laughed. ‘Oh my God!’
I was now spouting the cheesiest rubbish, so I decided the best thing would be for me to quickly down my coffee, pack up my bag and head out.
She was still laughing as we walked towards my car. I walked faster to hide my smile. I aimed the key to open the boot, pushing two small suitcases towards the back.
‘You know, you always look like you’re getting ready to run off somewhere, or like you’re secretly living in your car and getting dressed in the men’s toilets in the morning,’ she said.
‘What?’
‘Your suitcases. They’re always in the boot,’ she said, pointing towards them.
‘Ah! I see the confusion. I keep them in the car because there have been too many times where I’ve been called out in an emergency to take a child into foster care. I’ve had to stuff their things into a bin bag like rubbish. These kids deserve more than bin bags. They deserve dignity and respect during the worst times, so I keep them in the boot just in case.’
‘You’ve got other stuff too. Bottles of water, crisps, sweets, colouring books.’
‘Same reason. Once, I was stuck driving around Nottingham for two hours with three kids in the back waiting to get confirmation of an emergency foster placement. I had nothing to give them and there was nothing for them to do. They were sobbing and traumatised by what had just happened. I was the man who had taken them away from everything they knew, no matter how bad it was. Shitty situations at home were normal to them, but being taken by a complete stranger wasn’t. So now I’m always prepared. It just puts their minds at rest if you give them something else to focus on.’
‘Wow. I think you’re my hero,’ she replied. I couldn’t shake the smile off my face. And that fucking amazing feeling she’d caused didn’t leave me for the rest of the day.
Chapter Ten
Abi
Then.
I wanted to be him when I grew up. He was exactly the type of social worker I dreamt of being. Treat them with dignity. Treat them with respect. I was pretty sure I had said the same words during a group discussion at uni.
He had no idea what he did to me. Every one of my senses was being stretched and pulled in different directions by this man. He was taking me by the hand and guiding me into a world I knew I would just fit, and that feeling was so breathtakingly amazing and completely new to me that I could feel it bursting through me. Professionally, I was climbing the mountain with the aid of a safety rope. A really strong, stunningly perfect safety rope. Jamie couldn’t get any sweeter even if he came gift wrapped and dipped in honey. But under all the sweetness, I could sense a burning flame with every movement, from the roll of his shoulder muscles to the definition of his fingers as he typed. Fuck, even his posture threw off waves of colossal sexual confidence. In other words, he was a saucebag—that I was sure of.
‘This family never let me in,’ he said as he pulled up the car and reached into the back for a present wrapped in pink paper. ‘But we have a responsibility. We need to see these kids.’
That amazing confidence of his didn’t falter as we walked up to the door. He passed on his gift before it was clear that our presence was not needed, and certainly not welcome. Five minutes later, we were back in the car on the way to the next home visit. I found myself constantly wondering if I would find a superhero suit under his cloth
es.
The initial assessment got off to a bad start. After lots of persuasion by Jamie involving conversations through the letterbox, she finally agreed to let us in. She admitted she was leaving her children for a few hours at a time in order to fulfil her shifts as a nurse at the local hospital. She struggled with childcare and felt like she had no option because she needed the money, but leaving them alone ripped her to shreds. I was able to talk to her about putting a plan in place to support her, looking at family members and friends, changing her shift patterns to fit in with school, but also getting the message across about how dangerous the situation was. Jamie praised me all the way back to the office. He seemed proud, overwhelmed by my capabilities and excited for where he thought my career could take me.
‘What have you learnt today?’
‘Never give up?’ I asked tentatively as I flipped open my notebook.
‘You need to be like a dog with a bone. Never. Give. Up. Don’t let it drop. Go back and go back again. No excuses. These kids need to be seen, so if you have to see them at home, school or through a letterbox, you do it.’
‘I want you to teach me how to be like you. Tell me everything. Don’t leave anything out,’ I said, rushing my words to get them out.
‘I have a lot to teach. Can you handle it?’ I watched the rise and fall of his chest as he watched me.
‘I can handle it. Anything you give me, I can handle.’ I was breathless.
‘Are we still talking about social work?’ he asked, his smile curling.
‘You’re amazing,’ I said. I couldn’t keep it in. He had to know how he was making me feel.
We looked at each other and his face softened completely. He had a small collection of freckles running under his left eye just above the curve of his cheekbone. I felt my hand move towards them ready to touch each one individually with my fingertips, but then I remembered how inappropriate that would be—and fuck, I may have lacked grace and reasoning, but I knew when to control myself.
I could have sworn I saw a flash of disappointment across his face.
‘I’m not amazing.’ He blushed and pulled back. ‘I’ve just always wanted to do this right. Social work isn’t rocket science. You just treat every single client how you would want to be treated even if they’re telling you to go fuck yourself or threatening you with a knife. Just remember, they’re all people and they all deserve respect, even if you have to make some difficult decisions.’ He rested his elbow on the window and started rubbing his palm across the back of his neck. ‘Abi, you could be amazing. You are amazing. You’ve got this. It’s in your blood. Listen to your instincts. It’s all there. I’m not teaching you anything you wouldn’t have discovered for yourself.’
Let Me Be Your Hope (Music and Letters Series Book 2) Page 5
