I pulled into the driveway and was a bit shocked to see Ronan standing next to his Harley.
Like Cillian, he had a late model, black Harley Street Glide that he’d custom made for his comfort. He stood next to it, smoking a cigarette leisurely while I pulled into the main garage and left it open. Caitlin jumped out and ran towards her uncle.
“Uncle Ronan, I missed you,” she greeted happily before she embraced him and he hugged her back.
“I missed you too, Little Kitty. How are you doing?”
“Okay. Mom and Dad split up but you probably already know that. I don’t get to see Mom much but Gisela has been great.”
“Look what I managed to find you,” he said as he dug into a side compartment and displayed a Hello Kitty with a picture frame embedded in the doll’s hands.
“Oh my God! Where did you find it? I love it. Thanks, Uncle Ronan.”
“My pleasure—”
“Caitlin,” I interrupted tentatively, “why don’t you go inside before your food gets cold? Nothing worse than luke warm fast food.”
“Okay.” She kissed Ronan’s cheek and dashed inside the house, leaving the two of us alone.
“Where’s Declan?”
I placed a hand on my hip and gazed at him. “He’s at soccer practice. I have to pick him up at five so if I’m lucky, I will manage to get maybe an hour’s worth work done before I’m back on the road again. What are you doing here?”
He finished his cigarette and flicked it toward the curb. “Can I talk to you about Cillian’s case?”
I walked closer until we were only a few feet apart. “You know I can’t tell you anything about his case. That would be a break of attorney-client privilege—”
“Cut the shit, Gisela. Listen to me like you’ve never listened in your whole life. Cillian didn’t murder Riley and you have to build your case around that. Not circumstantial evidence but what will hold up in court.”
“How are you so sure about anything when it comes to this case?” I wondered before I bit my lip. “Wait a minute…you were there that night, weren’t you? I specifically remember you coming in after Cillian.”
“Yeah, I was…and I know my brother didn’t kill anyone that night.”
I needed a joint so badly but since I’d inherited two kids along with the love of my life, I usually smoked in my office at night once the kids were asleep.
“Well if he didn’t kill them then who did?” I breathed out loud, and realized I’d answered my own question as Ronan lit another cigarette and blew the smoke away from my direction. “It was you. Wasn’t it? You murdered Riley.”
“Yeah, I did.” He walked closer, his violet-blue eyes bright and expressive. “What can you do about it? Nothing that’s what. Hell, I wasn’t even implicated as an accomplice and that is what’s so cool about the whole situation. They never found a weapon, they never found gun powder residue on his hands—”
“It was a week after the crime when they arrested him so that is what they’re using as their excuse. I can’t work with the theory that Cillian was there at all and witnessed an execution because they’ll come back with accomplice charges if the case is thrown out or if the jury finds him not guilty.”
I began to pace because I thought better on my feet in a tight spot. “If Cillian knew you were going to kill him—”
“No, he didn’t think I had any plans on murdering anyone but it happened all the same. I was sick of my brother walking around like a ghost of his former self and he couldn’t do it—his heart wasn’t in it. Not even when we found out Riley was a Fed.”
I breathed softly before I stopped pacing and turned to face him. “That was very considerate of you and it makes my job of proving his innocence a whole lot easier. However, why didn’t you tell your father this? Why didn’t Cillian tell me any of this? I feel like a complete and utter idiot fumbling around in the dark with only half the clues.”
Ronan’s violet-blue eyes reluctantly met mine. “Listen, Cillian didn’t want you to know because the hit was voted on and the whole club agreed he should do it. We were out there and Riley gave us shit before he finally confessed to being who he was and that is when shit got real ugly. I don’t have the best control over my temper and I shot him but I wasn’t supposed to. If my father finds out, I am in deep shit—you understand where I’m comin’ from?”
I nodded my head. “Yeah, I forgot about how the whole criminal underworld works. I’m just here to pick up the pieces after the fact. I won’t tell anyone what you just told me. I do know that Cillian went to the club earlier today on your father’s orders. Do you have a clue what all that’s about?”
“Yeah, I do…Club business. Do you really wanna know, Gisela? Shit…don’t answer that. Don’t worry. I’ve taken care of everything before and I swear to you nothing will happen to Cillian. You have my word, sweetie, you got that?”
Between all the various revelations and what Ronan had carefully said to me at that moment, the damn burst and I began to sob but the tears flowed and my throat constricted. I didn’t cry out loud but I wished I could scream and shout if only to relieve the constant stress I felt every time he left the house.
Ronan closed the space between us and embraced me. My head rested against his chest as he kissed the top of my head. “Listen, I know I may be a shitty younger brother to Cillian and I know I have some anger management issues to work out but…I promise you nothing is going to happen to him. I want you to stop crying and put on your big girl panties. You knew what you were doing when you decided to be his old lady. He needs you to be strong because if you’re weak, you’ll drag him right down with you.
“Don’t discuss his case in front of him and never let him think anything is out of control. All he needs is for you to be the perfect old lady right now; fuck him, love him and assure him everything’s gonna be fine in the end. I don’t give a shit if you are losing this case and he’s gonna end up spendin’ life in High Desert—don’t you dare let on to him because he gets enough shit at the Club. The home life should be easy sailin’, you get what I’m sayin’?”
“Yeah, I do.” I wiped my tears on the back on my hands and pulled myself together.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Course. What is it?”
“What’s kept Raymond goin’ all these years? He’d gone through some pretty tough shit but who was his rock? The one person he could always depend upon?”
“Well, that’s easy to answer. My mother. She’s got that steely German resolve and she doesn’t show her emotions very easily. Drake and I were taught not to wear our hearts on our sleeves. It’s just the way of the culture. We come off so hard because inside, we’re truly fragile…but if we don’t allow anyone to get close to us in the first place then our hearts cannot be broken.” I explained in a quiet voice.
Ronan ended our embrace before he grabbed me with both hands by the shoulders. “That is what I need from you then, Gisela. You’ve got to be strong enough for the both of you because Cillian’s hangin’ on by a very thin string.”
“What about L.A.? Am I just supposed to forget he fucked another woman? Is that supposed to be part of my steely resolve?” I bit out to stop my teeth from grounding together.
“If he did cheat on you then she meant nothing. She was a physical relief and that’s it.” He dropped his hands by his sides and dragged from what was left of his cigarette before he flicked it down the driveway. “I am telling you that it meant nothing. Don’t act so goddamn naïve, Gisela. You two aren’t married yet and you knew he wasn’t a saint. He hasn’t been monogamous with a woman since he was fifteen. Cut him some slack.”
“For now but I won’t forget and I can’t live this way forever, Ronan.”
“No one is asking you to.” He embraced me quickly before he let go. “I have to get goin’. That little errand that can’t wait is fast approaching. Just as far as you know, I didn’t come here—I never spoke or saw you today. Got it?”
“How do you thi
nk that’s gonna work when you gave your niece a gift. She’ll be bragging about her newest addition to her Hello Kitty collection.”
“I suppose you’ll find a way to work that out. She admires and respects you.” Ronan walked over and climbed on his bike. “See ya around.”
“Yeah, see ya,” I murmured before I turned away and walked into the garage. As soon as he’d taken off, I pressed the wall-mounted garage door fixture and the door slid down before I walked into the house.
Caitlin was at the dining room table with her new doll and she smiled brightly as she rifled through a shoe box of photos.
“By the way, your uncle doesn’t want anyone to know he came here today. So, what we’ll do is say I bought you the Hello Kitty doll, all right? Otherwise, Uncle Ronan can get into trouble,” I explained before I sat down next to her in a chair.
Her food was half-eaten; she’d lost interest. That had as much to do with Brianna never having any set schedule for the kids to eat as it did with they simply didn’t enjoy food very much because half the time, they had to fend for themselves in that department with their mother.
“Would Mommy yell at Uncle Ronan? She says he spoils me too much.”
“No, not your mother but your grandfather. He doesn’t want Ronan coming by when he is supposed to be working—does that make sense to you? He will be upset because during the time he was here, he had work to do elsewhere but he wanted to see you.”
Caitlin nodded her head. “Grandpa has a temper…I wouldn’t want to make him upset. Okay…we can tell him you bought the doll for me and it will be our little secret.”
I leaned over and kissed Caitlin’s forehead before I stared into a face that would rival the beauty of her mother’s. Her hazel-green eyes were bright and she smiled in a face that could have been made from porcelain. She was a gorgeous child and I could understand why Cillian and the rest of her uncles were so protective over her.
She reached over and clutched a lock of my hair. “My mommy never did that. I know…you don’t have to be nice to Declan and me but why are you…kind? Declan thinks it will only last until you and Daddy have a new baby and then you won’t care about us anymore.”
My heart hurt at the sounds of those words. “No, your dad and I aren’t planning anymore additions to the family, not now at least. And the reason why I am kind to you and your brother is because everyone deserves to be treated with kindness. It’s not a trick or a game, Caitlin. I care about you and Declan—”
“Because we belong to Daddy?”
“No…because I love your father and when we decided to be together, I knew he was a packaged deal. You and Declan, the Club, his brothers and his parents. I love you all because it’s the only way I will be able to live through this. If you really care about something then it makes all the heartache and pain worth it. Life isn’t always pretty but just know that when you can’t talk to your mom, you can talk to me. I won’t ever shut you out. I swear.”
Caitlin smiled before she stood out of her seat and kissed my cheek. “Thank you…step-Mommy.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, “Can I call you that instead of Gisela?”
“Of course you can. Now finish up what you want to eat and we’ll dispose of it before we leave to pick up your brother from school in a half an hour, okay?”
She nodded as she sat back down and began to play with her Hello Kitty doll again.
I stood and walked back into the sitting room where my MacBook Pro was open and tried to concentrate on work. My mind was all over the place and filled with memories about Cillian and I.
The Past
We sat together in the Saint’s Clubhouse. Cillian had his own room, which I thought was kind of cool. It was pretty basic and lined up with posters of naked chicks on bikes along with posters of Limp Bizkit, Korn, Staind along with a few rap stars I recognized to be Dr. Dre, 2Pac and Eminem.
“Isn’t he before our time?” I pointed at the 2Pac poster as he kissed my neck.
“Yeah but he was a fuckin’ genius. I love his music…mostly because what he talked about…the struggle of black Americans in the States can be compared to the Northern Irish Catholics and how our people still struggle against the English.” He pulled away and gazed at me with lust-filled crystal blue eyes. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful and so fuckin’ way out of my league.”
I laughed nervously before I looked into his direction again. “I’m not that special, really. My mother has a dramatic taste for flair, if you like, and she raised my brother and I in this regal fashion but my dad…he’s really subdued and quiet. I don’t see much of him and I don’t know him very well either. He’s always gone.”
“Do you realize how much you prattle on about inconsequential bullshit when you’re nervous?”
“Wow. ‘Inconsequential’ is a pretty big word, Cillian.” I tickled his ribs before he grabbed me by the waist and brought me closer to him.
“I go to St. Patrick’s you know. I’m not a total knob head.”
“I know.” I ran my hair through his silky brown locks. He could use a haircut but he was still one of the sexiest boys I’d ever come across.
“We’ve been sneaking around for almost eight weeks, Sela. I want to make you mine so when the time comes, we can get married and there won’t be a damn thing anyone can do to stop us. I love you, Butterscotch…I knew it might happen the day I picked you up on the side of the road but you’re so special, you deserve better than me.”
“No, I don’t.” I paused and tried to calm my thundering heart. “I’m just scared. Your mom is here at the Clubhouse but what if your father showed up? We’d both be in serious trouble—you know that.”
Cillian laughed before he nuzzled my neck again. “My dad’s out of town on a run with Sean and Brendan. I can do whatever I want and my mom won’t say shit. She’s scared of my dad, and she likes you though she won’t admit it. She’d rather I be with a girl like you then one of the Slappers here at the Club.”
“S-slappers?” I stuttered. “Who are they?”
“Loose women who will fuck any member of the Club. They just want braggin’ rights, know what I mean? I lost my virginity to a Slapper when I was thirteen. She was eighteen and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.” He paused and touched my face. “I don’t want that to be your fate. Your first time should be with someone who you care about. Do you care about me?”
I nodded, unable to form the words with the knot forming in the back of my throat. “I love you, Cillian. I…I’m unsure if it’s the right time though. We’re both so young and what if I got…pregnant? My parents would kill me.”
“Who said I would ever get you pregnant? I know how to be safe. I’m not a total dunce. You know that.”
“Is that why you brought me here? To the Clubhouse?”
“Yes and no. I didn’t want your first time to be in the woods on a wool blanket. I wanted it to be in a bed where I could hold you afterwards because it hurts for a girl the first time.”
“I know.” I laid down on the bed while my legs still dangled over the edge. “I have friends who aren’t virgins anymore and they say the first time is awful. I’m not scared of the pain but what happens afterwards? When you’ve gotten what you wanted. Will you not want me anymore?”
Cillian was taller than I was but he still managed to wrangle his body beside mine. “Now I know you’re talkin’ absolute shit. Me? Lose interest in you? That’s not possible. I’ve held out as long as I have because I didn’t want to rush you into something you weren’t ready to do. I’m scared of what might happen afterwards because I know my sexual appetite is insatiable and once I’ve had a taste of you, I won’t be able to stop.”
I turned toward him and licked my lips in a suggestive manner. “Why wouldn’t you be able to control yourself? I’m just a virgin and most guys don’t want one. At least that’s what Kyra has told me.”
“I take it she’s your BFF?” he inquired sarcastically. “The same bestie who left you on
the side of the road and God knows what would have happened to you if I hadn’t come along when I did.”
“She was going to pick me up.” I sat up again and began to play with my short but well-manicured nails. “She said she felt awful because when she drove back down the highway to look for me, I was gone. We spoke about an hour after you dropped me off and she apologized profusely. It was all over some lame ass fight we had about notes to a certain class. She’s not a bad person.”
Cillian rolled onto his back and stretched, his Sex Pistols vintage tee riding up to show off his six-pack and the thin trail of hair that led into his jeans. “She’s Jonesy’s daughter and I know all about the Hughes’ clan. They are rival bikers to our own MC. Listen to me, I’m sure she’s a great girl but just be careful, all right?”
Deadly Seduction Page 13
