“What if I told you I was thinking of waiting until after Christmas to leave?”
“I’d say I’m the happiest guy in the world. But then what?”
“Well, you said you were going to graduate early, and I don’t start Harvard until January, so maybe we could go to college together.”
“I hate that my birthday missed the cut off and I’m a year behind you in school. It makes you seem so old.”
“What? Are you saying I’m old?” Taylor shrieked, tickling my sides.
“Okay! Stop!” I fingered a loose golden curl. “So why Harvard? Does this have to do with Michael? You never did tell me about your phone call.”
Taylor sat up. “Thanks for the major buzz kill, Riley.”
I remained reclined in the corner of the couch, but raised my knee for Taylor to lean against. I watched as she fiddled with her fingers, picking at them like they were covered in lint.
“Babe. Talk to me.”
She pulled her knees to her chest. “My dad is up for partnership with his law firm—the firm Michael’s father owns. Because of my grades and more so, Michael’s interest in me, I received a scholarship to Harvard from the firm. Most of the lawyers who work there, including Dad, are Harvard alumni. If I turn it down, I might put his partnership in jeopardy.”
“Wait. I thought you wanted to be a teacher.”
“I do, but with my dad’s law office backing me, I have a good chance of becoming an associate attorney there and working my way up the ranks. Then I could move to any law firm I wanted. The pay is a damn straight more than being a teacher.”
But Michael works there. He’ll be working his way up the ranks, too. Taylor’s.
I had to choose my words carefully. I brushed her hair over her shoulder so I could watch her face.
“But would you be happy as a lawyer?”
What about me? Where did I fit in? Did I fit in? Shit.
I mentally tore down the caution tape. “What about Michael? Me?”
She snuggled back onto my chest. “You’d be with me in Boston, remember? Michael and I would run into each other at the office, but my heart and mind would be constantly lusting you. Besides, the only attorney job that appeals to me would be one that helps people who can’t afford an attorney. Unfortunately, doing work for “free” isn’t something Michael’s firm believes in, so my time there would be short.”
A minute near Michael is too long.
What was I thinking? I couldn’t afford Harvard, even if I got accepted. But, I also couldn’t lose Taylor. This fantasy bubble was about to burst if I didn’t come up with a new one fast.
“What if you could go to any college, where would you go?”
“Well, Cornell University is probably ranked the highest, but I like the idea of University of Colorado in Denver. Far away from Boston.”
“And Michael.”
“Yes, and Michael. What about you?” She slid her lips across mine. “What college do you want to go to when you grow up?”
“Ouch! Hit me with the age thing. I told you. I want to be a pediatrician. Cornell would be great, but too expensive and too close to the ghosts from your past. California has earthquakes. Colorado sounds perfect.”
Taylor raised her little finger. “Pinky swear that one year from now if we’re still madly in love with each other, we’ll meet under the school marquee at University of Colorado on the first day of school.”
A whole year?
I pushed the panic down and linked my baby finger around hers. “I ‘pinky swear’ that in one year I’ll still be insanely in love with you and will go wherever makes you happy.” I tugged her closer, teasing her lips open with my tongue and tasting deep. “I just want you to be happy, Taylor.”
And with me.
Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “No one’s ever asked me what would make me happy.”
“Well, I am. Your happiness is vital to mine, got that?” She nodded and I kissed the tear trickling over her cheek, hating to see her sad. God, I loved her so much. I desperately wanted to know about her phone call with Michael, but I didn’t want to cause her anymore pain.
Instead, I hooked my finger in the neckline of her shirt and pulled it out. “Hey, didn’t you promise me some private time with those stripes? And what about the panties under these tight jeans? Are they like your “Sunday School” ones?”
“Why don’t you find out?” she challenged.
I slipped her shirt off without a fight. Pink and blue stripes never looked so sexy. I ran my finger along the inside of the waistband of her jeans until I felt the elastic lace. I hooked my finger through and tugged, testing my thong theory.
“Ouch!”
“Church worthy,” I laughed.
Her hand smoothed over the aching lump in the front of my jeans. “Boxers or briefs?”
Suddenly, the second stair creaked.
Twenty
LIES AND BROKEN PROMISES
Taylor
Only two weeks remained before I returned home as demanded by my mother. Riley hated my change of heart, but ever since Grammy discovered the ripped package with the rubber we intended using, things had grown horribly uncomfortable between us. She interrogated me every time I left the house and waited up until I got home to repeat the same. Riley could only come over when she was there to chaperone. I didn’t dare ask if I could stay longer, nor was I sure I could handle her constant monitoring.
I started working afternoons at the Denim and Ruffles Boutique, not for the money, but because it got away from the “grandmother watchdog” and gave me something to do while Riley worked. I also snagged some killer deals on the new stuff that shipped in on Thursdays.
At first I worried Mrs. Martin wouldn’t speak to me after finding me tangled with Riley on the basement sofa. How Riley managed to cover me so fast with the afghan off the back of the couch, shocked me. I refused to acknowledge he might have performed the same maneuver on Kaylee enough times to perfect the skill. Still, it bought me enough time to hide my sweater and bundle the knotted yarn around me. I almost burst out laughing when she offered hot cocoa to warm me.
Leaving the boutique at four o’clock gave me enough time to get home and change before Riley picked me up at six. I’d barely pulled the Mini into the driveway when my cell phone rang. Expecting Riley, I answered before checking the caller ID.
“Taylor?”
“Dad?” I hadn’t talked to my father since the day I indulged myself with a new car and had to actually ask permission to put it on the credit card. Someday, I’d like to know the limit on that card, if it allowed me to purchase a car.
“Hi, sweetheart. Sorry I haven’t called, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure you’d talk to me.”
“Probably not. You left us, Dad. You picked someone else’s family and walked out on ours.” My world bubbled under a veil of unexpected water and the kernel in my throat threatened to strangle me.
“Taylor, it’s more complicated than that. Your mother and I have struggled with our relationship for years.”
“Because you’ve had a hard time being faithful to your marriage vows.”
“All right, stop. I didn’t call to argue my moral standing. But keep in mind, Taylor, there are two sides to every story. Someday when you’re done hating me, ask your mother about her therapist, Dr. Shephard.”
His revelation brought me up short. Mom wasn’t the best parental example, but not because of immoral behavior. Just self indulgence. I guess taking the literal meaning of lying on a counselor’s couch to accept personal therapy could be considered “self-indulgent.” Given the story Grammy so freely shared with Riley, however, Dad’s news shouldn’t have surprised me. But it did.
“Are you saying Mom had an affair?”
“She’s the one who’ll have to color in those pictures for you. Jealousy has a way of turning to vengeance if fed, not that that justifies my actions by any means. Speaking of which, I had a strange conversation with Michael yesterday. Is it true you t
wo are no longer an item?”
After my surprise phone call, I wrote Michael an official “Dear John” letter, telling him in writing I never wanted to see him again.
My breath hitched. Why did Dad suddenly care about my personal life? I hesitated on wanting to share intimate details but decided if I told him, the message would get back to Michael, reinforcing the fact our relationship had ended.
“Yes. I don’t want to marry Michael. I never did. I only pretended to make everyone happy and well, make sure it didn’t screw up your chances for partnership. Since I’ve been at Gram’s, I’ve had time to think about what I want. Dad, I’m not going to Harvard either. I’m sorry if that messes everything up, but I don’t want to be a lawyer. I want to be a teacher.”
“A teacher? Where the hell did this come from? Who’s talking such nonsense into your head? Is Michael right? Are you involved with some ‘hick’ in that godforsaken farm town?”
“I beg your pardon! Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I’m dating someone who treats me far better than Michael Barnes ever did. And if you’d paid attention to my life the past few years instead of your buffet of vaginas, you’d know I’ve wanted to be a teacher for a long time. Never a lawyer.”
Dad’s tone edged of steel. I’d crossed a line. “Young lady that’s enough ugly talk. You can sling all the mud you want in my face, I don’t give a damn. But I’ve always paid attention to your life, as much as your mother allowed. You’re right, I didn’t know you were serious about being a teacher, but if that’s what you want, I’ll talk to the board members and get the scholarship withdrawn. But I think you’re making a mistake.”
“By choosing my own destiny?”
“No Taylor. By throwing away the opportunity of a lifetime. Become a lawyer or not, Harvard University, even if only for the one year, would boost the credentials in your portfolio for whatever career field you choose, not to mention open the doors to any university you want to attend. We can talk more about it when you come home.”
“What if I don’t come home?”
“Taylor, stop acting like a petulant teenager. Neither your mother nor I will allow you to stay at Lydia’s past summer. You need to go to college, somewhere.”
“Why do you care, anyway? Shouldn’t you be worrying about your other so-called ‘daughter’?” I jumped in the seat when he yelled back.
“Enough damnit! Life’s complicated and messy, Taylor. No one gets the storybook ending. All you can hope for is that the good times outweigh the bad. And another thing, don’t dismiss a future with Mr. Barnes just yet. Have your fun, but remember Michael can keep you in this lifestyle you’ve become comfortable living. By the way, what color is the Mini?”
“Blue and white,” I answered feeling a ping of guilt in my stomach. “Dad, I’m not changing my mind about Michael. You don’t know him. You only know the Michael that comes into the office, not the one who…..” I stopped, realizing I almost said things I promised to keep secret to protect my father.
“Everyone has two faces, Taylor. Even you and the ‘country bumpkin’ jumping your bones.”
“Nice one father. Again, none of your business, but I’m still a virgin. My ‘country bumpkin’ respects me, which is more than I can say for the other men in my life. Tell Michael to go to hell. My advice to you, Daddy, is find another firm to work for. I’ve got to go. I have to get ready for a date with my ‘hick’.”
I flipped my phone shut without saying “goodbye” and wiped my wet cheeks with the back of my hand. The phone rang again, only this time I checked. I wasn’t having another bantering contest with “daddy dearest.”
“Riley?” A sob heaved in my chest unexpectedly.
“Taylor, what’s the matter?”
I felt guilty for finding pleasure in the worrisome sound in Riley’s voice. Someone cared about me.
“I just got off the phone with my dad. Not a pleasant conversation, but then, they usually aren’t with him.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, now that you’ve called. We still on for tonight?”
The hesitation lasted too long. “About that, babe. Barney called. Andy is sick and Barney said he’ll pay me double if I stay and cover his shift. I’ll be done by ten and can come by then to hang out if you want.”
“Damn! Not tonight,” I whined. “I need to see you. You’ve worked three nights straight! I miss you.” Tears rimmed my eyes again.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll call Barney and tell him ‘no’.”
Apparently the “self-indulgent” gene ran prominent through me too, but my conscience kept it in check. “No, don’t do that. I’m being selfish. Promise to come by later?”
“I promise, and for the record, I’m so damn horny I can’t see straight. If I don’t see you soon, I may go blind.”
“Nice to know you care.”
“You know I’m teasing. About going blind. That’s a myth.”
I laughed. “Thanks, Riley. I needed that. Tell me you love me.”
“I love you and for a hell of a lot more reasons than just lusting after you. You rock my world, girl. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Maybe I can knock off early for good behavior.”
He smacked a loud kiss in my ear and hung up. I sat in my car a while longer, listening to my iPod and allowing myself a good old-fashioned cry fest. Maybe the tears would wash out all the pain inside and make more room for me to love Riley without feeling guilty about hurting him.
Reality bit hard. Dad was right. Harvard University’s credentials were golden and my year had been paid for. Riley still had his senior year of high school with lots of dances, football games, and cheerleaders to make out with under the bleachers. I’d be nothing more than a fond memory to him a month after I left here. Riley, however, would hold a piece of my heart long after I went back to Boston. Probably forever.
**
Grammy sat out on the back deck, enjoying the afternoon sun, and of course, her cup of tea.
“You’re an habitual dipper. You should seek help,” I joked.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Care to join me? You look a little forlorn. Want to talk?”
“Dad called.”
“Oh.”
“Riley cancelled our date. He’s coming by later, if that’s okay.”
A sigh heavy enough to sway the house blew out her nose. “Don’t you think it’s time you slowed things down with Riley, Taylor? After all, you’ll be going home soon and your life will be going a different direction with Michael.”
“Actually, Grandma, I broke things off with Michael.”
Grammy’s tea bag stilled, as did the air around us. She shifted in her chair, her eyes narrowed. I watched the brows above her eyes curl tight. “Are you crazy, Taylor? Michael is perfect for you. He spoils you rotten—has a promising future at his father’s law office and can give you everything you’ll ever want or need. Don’t fill your head with silly romantic thoughts about the Martin boy. Your little summer romance is nothing but a teenage fling. Be realistic, Taylor. There’s no way it’s going to last past the summer.”
She turned her focus on the meadow, letting the sting of her words bite silently. A part of me hated that she, like Dad, could possibly be right. Especially about me and Riley. As much as he claimed to love me, being separated such a long distance could cause his heart to wander…not “grow fonder” as the cliché suggested. I watched the feline predators study him when he worked at Barney’s and heard their feral growls whenever he publicly kissed me—which he did a lot.
But whether I went to Harvard or not, I couldn’t stay in Wellsville forever, or with Grams. We’d murder each other sooner or later. But even if I lost Riley, I wouldn’t go running back to Michael. The thought of being with him made my skin want to crawl off my bones.
I leaned against the railing. “Regardless of where this fling, as you so callously refer to my relationship with Riley, goes, I know I don’t want to spend my life with Michael. Riley’s brother, Jaxson, wo
uld be a better choice than him, believe me.”
Grammy’s lips flattened. “You don’t mean that, Taylor. You’ve just been away from Michael too long. The two of you need to rekindle your relationship—spend some time getting to know each other again. Time alone with Michael is precisely what you need to get your priorities back into focus. That’s why I invited him here for the weekend.”
Air exited my lungs so fast I felt them stick to my ribs. A flicker of rage ignited. Now Grams controlled my life! When the hell did I get a say in my destiny? My eyes flashed in horror.
“What? No! Grammy, say you didn’t! You don’t understand. I can’t be with Michael—”
Grandma lifted from her chair, her angry posture matching mine. She closed out the space between us in two incensed steps. “Nonsense!” she interrupted. “Now go upstairs and make yourself presentable. He should be here in an hour or so.”
My eyes swam with tears and I felt dizzy. Why the hell did I tell Riley it was okay to work an extra shift? He’d have been here within the hour and we’d be gone. In fact, knowing Michael was coming would have had me convincing Riley to run across the state line and never come back. Hell, I’d even have sex in the truck with him!
In my letter to Michael, I made special mention of his last attempt to “brand me” as his property—a reminder of the monster he kept well hidden. I knew Michael would consider Grammy’s invitation as a challenge to reclaim what he felt rightfully belonged to him. Me.
The thought made me livid. I moved the extra inch, practically touching Gram’s nose. She could feel the spit of every cantankerous word. “I can’t believe you did something so underhanded without asking me. This is my life. You’re no different from my parents.”
Grammy blenched at my brashness. “Taylor Wilson! Michael is your fiancé. The way you gallivant around with Riley Martin, it’s only a matter of time before you two become intimate and ruin your chances with Michael. You know how he feels about your chastity.”
A blustery half-laugh burst from my mouth. “For your information, Michael is far from chaste. Riley has been nothing but respectable to me that way. If you’re still freaking out over the damn hickey, you should know Mr. Barnes’s hands haven’t exactly been idle on my body.”
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