by Abby Ayles
“That is marvelous!” Cora burst out. Then she sobered. “But why do you cry? Come now.”
She gently untied Regina’s mask and pulled out a handkerchief, dabbing at Regina’s cheeks to wipe the tears away.
“It is stupid,” Regina said. “Really, it does not even bear speaking about.”
“Nothing involving such tender emotion is stupid,” Cora replied. “I should know. I have often felt to be made ashamed of how I feel. I will not have it for myself and I will not have it for you. Now. Tell me what troubles you.”
“It is nothing.”
“Is it your feelings for Lord Harrison?”
Regina gaped at her, and Cora sighed. “My darling girl. You are intelligent. But when it comes to the matters of your heart, you are almost willfully ignorant. Anyone could see that you were falling in love with him. Why do you think that your Aunt Jane told you that story about her husband earlier?”
“You knew about that?”
“She told me when we were all assembled at the ball that she had told you and she had hoped that her words had rung true for you.”
“I do not understand.”
Cora smiled patiently. “She did not think that her husband loved her, although she loved him desperately. Does that not sound like anyone that you know?”
“But…” Regina was woefully confused. “But Lord Harrison does not love me. He loves Bridget. Her hand in marriage was his price for helping me.”
Cora raised an eyebrow. “I shall be giving him an earful about that later. But sweet. I think that he stopped being in love with Bridget a long time ago. Have you not seen how he looks at you? How protective of you he is? He fairly well bit my head off that one night and he’s hardly let you out of his sight.”
“That cannot be.”
Cora sighed in exasperation. “Now listen here. I know that I am no lover of romance. I can be a bitter old maid when I wish it. But I care for you as a sister and for Lord Harrison as a brother. I want both of you to be happy.
“So listen closely to me now. I know Harrison and I know you. The only one who does not realize that you are in love with him is him! Your sister Bridget, the one that you think he loves, she noticed it even.”
“What?” Regina was filled with horror at being so easily read.
“Yes. She tracked me down during the ball while you were playing cards. She did not even stop to re-make my acquaintance after so many years apart. Her questions were all about Lord Harrison’s intentions towards you, for your speaking of him and your praise had led her to understand your regard for him.”
“I was only praising him so that she would accept his proposal!” Regina protested.
“If you wish to tell yourself that to ease your own nerves, you may,” Cora replied promptly.
Regina wanted the ground to swallow her up. So now she was to be humiliated.
“Come, come, darling, none of that.” Cora gently hooked two fingers underneath Regina’s chin and raised it up so that Cora could look her in the eye. “He loves you too. Just as he is the only one who does not know how you feel, so you are the only one who does not know how he feels.
“He loves you, Regina. Go downstairs. Do not speak to Bridget. Dance and be merry. In time he will come to you.”
“How do you know that?”
Cora smiled. “I just do. I have been on this earth longer than you have, remember?”
Regina took a deep breath. She had trusted Cora so far and had not been led astray. Perhaps she could trust her with this one last thing. “All right.”
“Good girl.”
Cora took her hand and led her back to the chamber where she had changed. She and her maid helped Regina to get back to her original hairstyle and dress and placed the first mask back on Regina’s face.
Part of Regina was sad that she could not show off her dress more. Perhaps at another ball. But at this one, she could not afford to be discovered as the woman who had gambled. Even the bent rules of the masquerade only extended so far.
But perhaps—just perhaps—she was just enough as she was. Regina Hartfield. Not the mysterious woman in white. Just as herself.
Cora finished tying her mask firmly upon her face, then smiled at her. “I shall deal with what little matters are left. Now go, my darling, and dazzle them all.”
Chapter 34
Epilogue
Regina felt another pang of panic as she stood at the top of the stairs.
She felt like a completely different person after everything that had happened. Yet at the same time it felt as though what had gone on in the card room was something out of a dream. It hadn’t really happened.
But it had. She had won back her family’s fortune and honor. Her sisters were safe.
They would all find that out soon enough. Cora had said she would handle it. She would make sure that they all found out about their reversal and return to honor.
Louisa could marry. Elizabeth could marry without it being under a cloud. Bridget could take her time. Natalie could grow in substance.
It would all be all right now.
And what of her? What would happen to her now that it was all over?
She would find another man. She did not know if she could love him as she loved Lord Harrison, but she could find someone with whom she felt safe and who she knew respected her.
Love. She had said it to Cora, or rather had it called out to her by Cora. It was real now. She loved Lord Thomas Harrison, Duke of Whitefern.
It made her want to curl up into a ball in the darkest corner and cry until she was spent and could no longer feel a single emotion.
But no. She was stronger than that.
Regina held her head up high and descended the stairs.
It was no grand entrance. Everyone was busy chatting or dancing. The masquerade was still in full swing, after all. She descended into a sea of color that swallowed her up almost at once.
She found, for once, that she didn’t mind. She wanted to be swallowed up and forgotten, just a little.
Regina moved through the crowds of people. Natalie was out on the dance floor, but appeared for once to be listening to her partner rather than talking over him.
Elizabeth was seated with Louisa. It seemed that the two had grown closer after spending time together, just the two of them, while Elizabeth was courted by Mr. Denny.
Mr. Denny himself, apparently, was hovering nearby. Regina suspected that it would surprise no one when the engagement was announced.
She could not see Bridget, but it didn’t matter. She had time to tell her about the deal and what she had done.
Despite Cora’s words, Regina could not believe that Lord Harrison had moved on from Bridget. Regina was coming to understand that she was more than she had previously thought, but enough to outshine her eldest sister?
No. Nobody could outshine Bridget. Regina, even at her best, couldn’t compare to her.
It was probably why she couldn’t see Bridget right now, actually. She was certain that Lord Harrison would want to break the news to her himself. Regina wasn’t sure which would be right. She was the one who’d agreed to the bargain, after all, but Lord Harrison had been the one who had expressed a desire for Bridget’s hand.
Regina watched the dancers for a while, when a young man approached her. “If I may have the next dance?”
She nodded. She might as well distract herself while she could.
Dancing wasn’t so bad when you needed to avoid thinking about something. Her partner was engaging and it took quite a lot of thinking to stay true to the steps while also conversing. After that dance, she found another partner. And another.
This would be all right. She was more confident than she had been before and therefore she was more comfortable. She could do this, dancing and going to balls. Eventually she would find someone.
If only it didn’t feel so empty.
She danced, and danced, and danced, until suddenly the last dance was over and she turned around only t
o hear a very familiar voice say, “May I have the next dance, Miss Hartfield?”
Regina turned.
Lord Harrison was standing in front of her. His blue eyes were warm and welcoming, looking at her with that affection that she had told herself she only imagined. He wore a small, enigmatic smile on his face.
“My sister is Miss Hartfield, if you wish to be proper,” she responded, slipping into her natural teasing with him.
“If my understanding is correct, in a short time your middle sister will be the proper Miss Hartfield,” Lord Harrison replied.
“Oh. Yes. Bridget will be marrying you.”
Lord Harrison shook his head. “Bridget, I suspect, will be going to the Continent for quite some time.”
Before Regina could even begin to figure out what that meant, Lord Harrison indicated the dance floor with his hand. “The next dance is beginning. May I?”
She allowed him to lead her out onto the floor.
As the dance began, so did Lord Harrison. “I was recently drawn into a corner by a friend and informed of what an unmitigated fool I am.”
“Is that so? I had a similar experience most recently.”
“Indeed.” Lord Harrison smiled at her.
For the first time, Regina understood why people could be so enamored with dancing. In dancing with Lord Harrison she was no longer simply enjoying herself with a partner along with a dozen others.
Instead, it was as if none of the others existed.
She could have been alone in the room with Lord Harrison for all that she took notice of the people around her.
“This friend told me that I had been a fool not to notice that my affections for a certain young lady were returned, and I was encouraged to inform that young lady of how my regard for her had turned into something much deeper.”
Regina’s breath caught in her throat and for a wild moment she thought that her heart would stop beating. He wasn’t—was he?
“You see, I started out thinking that I was in love with this young lady’s eldest sister. And I do have quite a high regard for that sister. She is a remarkable young woman and very accomplished.
“However, when I spent more time in the company of this young lady, I found that… that even her remarkable elder sister paled in comparision to her.
“I struggled to hide my feelings, for I was certain that they could never be returned. How could they, when I had agreed to marry the lady’s sister in a move that was, I realized, selfish and unfair to both the lady and her sister?
“I had treated the elder sister like property and taken advantage of the family’s dire straits. Surely this woman could not fail to realize this and would hate me in her heart.
“So, I resolved that I would not say anything. I was so certain that this woman could not love me in return. Everything spoke to me only as a testament to that fact. I was a source of learning for her. I was a safe place. I was a mentor, a tutor, nothing more.
“After all, when one is desperate for a way out, one will take any escape offered, even if that escape is made by a man one should not esteem.”
“How could I not esteem you?” Regina cut in. “You cannot have such a low opinion of yourself. If you may sink into despair for your actions regarding our agreement, then you must allow me to hate myself as well, for I offered up my own sister.”
“No. No you were desperate, you had no choice. I should have been magnanimous—”
“Are you saying that you love me?” Regina blurted out.
Never before had she been so grateful for how crowded and noisy balls were. Nobody heard her. Nobody marked what she said. The entire swell of people didn’t stop and stare at her for being so bold.
Instead, everyone just carried on.
She and Lord Harrison even continued to dance.
But now they just looked into one another’s eyes, not speaking. Just staring.
What she saw in his eyes then was devastating. “Yes,” he managed to whisper, his voice hoarse. “Yes, I have—I have come to be devoted to you. I wish nothing but for your happiness.
“If I thought that you might allow me to be by your side I would in a heartbeat. I would not spare a single coin or moment if I could invest it in your happiness. I want to spend every day proving to you that you are worth so much more than you believe you are.
“I know that you have already started to believe it. But you don’t yet understand—you cannot know—”
“I never should have thought that I would see you at a loss for words,” Regina said, her voice soft and awed.
Lord Harrison laughed. “Yes. Well. You rather take the words right out of my chest.”
The dance finished and they began another without asking, unwilling to be parted.
“I suppose what I am asking, then,” Lord Harrison said, “Now that we have understood one another, is if I can dare to hope. Our mutual friend led me to believe but I cannot… I must hear it from you.”
“You may do more than hope,” Regina assured him. “You may presume as much as you would like.”
“And dare I ask if you would join your sisters in entering into an engagement?” He asked. “Bridget will be settled on the Continent. Miss Elizabeth and Miss Louisa are engaged. I should not think it too impudent if the youngest sister then entered into an engagement of her own.”
Regina felt sad for Natalie for a moment. She would be the only unmarried one—or uncommitted one, she added to herself, thinking of her eldest sister. But she would find someone in time.
After all, Regina had found someone, and she hadn’t even been looking.
“Are you asking me for my hand?” She asked. “Because I must tell you, sir, that to do so without my father’s permission and in a crowded ballroom is most unconventional.”
“Using a masquerade ball to steal into a man’s card game and strip a rake of his fortune is also most unconventional.” Lord Harrison smiled. “It appears we are a match, Puck.”
“Oberon.”
The second dance ended. Lord Harrison directed his head towards some doors that led outside. “Shall we?”
As they walked through the crowd, Regina finally caught sight of Bridget. She was standing next to Cora, and their arms were linked. Bridget was smiling, smiling as Regina had never seen her smile, and Cora—
Oh, she realized.
She smiled to herself and allowed Lord Harrison to lead her just outside, where they might take in the fresh air.
“Consider this a promise,” he said. “I must speak with your father, of course. I must obtain his blessing. But I wish to have your agreement first.”
“You have everything of me,” Regina confessed. She laughed, giddy. This felt unreal. “Let us strike another deal.”
“Oh?” Lord Harrison smiled down at her, infinitely amused. “What sort of deal?”
“A deal that you will obtain my father’s blessing and we shall be married.”
“In that case, I had better make this official.” He took her hand in his. “Regina Hartfield. Puck. My… my everything. Will you marry me?”
Regina nodded quickly. Her heart felt so full that she was sure it would burst. She might start crying as well. “Yes.”
“Our last deal was signed with a handshake. How shall we seal this one?”
“This deal…” Regina smiled at him, letting him draw her closer. In the darkness of the balcony, nobody could see them if they engaged in this one last impropriety. “This deal shall be sealed with a kiss.”
He took her face gently in his hands and lifted her face up, and did just that.
It was everything that she had dreamed it would be, back when they had almost kissed to fool and appease his friends. His lips were warm and gentle as they worked against hers, and she sighed into it. She hadn’t known there was happiness such as this in the world.
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.
Regina could only smile, and reply in kind.
The Extended Epilogue
&nbs
p; Falling for the Governess
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Falling for the Governess
Preface
My dearest Louisa,
I fear my heart is broken. It is with the saddest news I find myself writing to you today. Just yesterday I received a visit from Mr. Jenkins, my father’s lawyer.
As you know, my father was on a ship set for Cayman Island in relation to his import business. As I had mentioned a few times at our last meeting, I was becoming exceedingly concerned since his vessel had not yet returned. Without any ill news, I hoped that they had only been delayed by poor wind and calm waters.
Unfortunately, this is not the case. While in the tropics, father contracted a most dreadful fever. His most experienced sailors fell ill.
To prevent the sickness from spreading, the ill were to be left behind to recover and return home aboard another vessel. My father was too prominent of a figure to just leave behind, and the MHS Poseidon decided to stay in Cayman Island for a fortnight to allow him to recover.
I am told the fever passed. For that I am grateful, but why did my stubborn father have to push himself? I don’t know how to feel. You are aware of how much I disliked him going on these journeys to begin with.
Having gained his strength back, father sailed Poseidon homeward bound, but his health took a turn for the worse.
The ship's surgeon did all he could to help, but in the end, it was not enough. My father passed away a little over a month ago in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. There’s nothing I could have done, and I resent myself for that.
