“Well you are too. We have a lot in common.”
“I'm sure o’ that,” the stranger says.
With his attention diverted Billy Edmonds doesn't see the piece of dead cactus lying on the ground but he certainly feels its sharp jab as he steps on it.
“Shit!”
“What's wrong?”
“I stepped on somethin'. Damn it!”
“What is it?”
“Looks like a cactus spike. What am I gonna do now?”
“Can you walk?”
“I think so ... Yeah, I guess I can. Damn it that hurts. How far is the highway?”
“It's right past those dunes over there.”
After another five minutes, the pain in Billy Edmonds foot is too sharp to continue.
“Hey Ed listen; I can't go any further. I need to stop. My foot's startin’ to swell up.”
“We're almost there. The road's only a few hundred feet away, right there.”
“I see it. I can see it,” Billy says.
“Look, you stay here an’ I'll flag down the first car I see. Then we can get out o’ here.”
“Great, I'll sit down and rest. You go and try to get a car to stop. I'll be okay.”
As Billy Edmonds finds a spot on the ground, he sees his new companion, Ed Williams walking toward the road, a few hundred feet away. As if on cue, as soon as he reaches the highway, he sees a black sedan stop, what a lucky break. Now finally, this strange nightmare should be over. As Billy gets up and limps toward the road and the black sedan, he sees his strange new companion inexplicably getting angry at the driver and shouting at him. The car quickly pulls away. Crestfallen and at a loss to understand what he's just seen, Billy hobbles over to Ed Williams.
“What happened?”
“Did you see that bastard?”
“No, what happened?”
“Oh that pisses me off, Billy.”
“What?”
“He expected us, two white men to ride in his big black limousine, bastard. I told him to go to hell.”
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“Well didn't you see it?”
“See what?”
“The car, that's what, bumper to bumper solid black, black as the ace o’ spades. Even the interior was black. You didn't see what I saw. Trust me.”
“So what if it was black, what's the problem?”
“That aint fit for no white man Billy. You know that.”
“Are you out o’ your mind? We're stranded in the desert and you turn down a ride because the car's black? You idiot, I have an injured foot. What's wrong with you?”
“Aint nothin’ wrong with me, you wanna put up with somethin’ like that you go right ahead. I ain’t ridin’ in any big, black limousine, ain’t gonna happen. What's the big deal? They'll be another car comin’ by and this time it'll be a real pretty white one. You watch. Don't worry Billy. We got it covered. A real pretty white one, that's what we need.”
“Look, I can hardly walk. I need to get out o’ here. I can't believe you did that.”
“I don't know what you're so bent out o’ shape for. Somebody else'll be comin’ soon. Billy, we're gonna make it. Don't worry.”
“My feet are in pain, serious pain. Don't you understand that?”
“Just go back and sit down. We'll get out o’ here. Don't worry.”
“That's all I can do. I don't believe it. Please don't do that again.”
After sitting in the hot sun for a few minutes, Billy Edmonds leans against a boulder and closes his eyes. The heat brings a weary drowsiness to the moment, and he drifts into a light sleep. Vague recollections of a journey on a highway from somewhere, an interrupted journey for some reason, slip in and out of his memory. In an instant he suddenly opens his eyes after hearing a loud shouting voice.
“You son of a bitch, you get the hell out o’ here. Get out o’ here you bastard. If I had my shotgun, I'd blow your ass away. You think I'm kiddin'? You get your ass out o’ here.”
As the tirade ends, Billy Edmonds sees a man with a backpack walking away and his irate friend, Ed Williams staring angrily at his departure. He stands and makes his way over to his strange companion.
“The nerve o’ some people. You won't believe it.”
“What? What happened?”
“You know what that son of a bitch did? That bastard I just ran off.”
“What?”
“Lemme tell ya what happened. When you were restin’ over there, this guy comes walkin’ by. I started talkin’ to him and I told him your feet were hurtin'. You know what that bastard did?”
“What?”
“He told me he had an extra pair o’ shoes he didn't need, had socks too. Billy, I told this guy that's exactly what you need. He opens up his backpack and wanted me to take them. They were as black as coal. I mean, black as coal. The socks too, black as coal. Even the laces were black. I wanted to kill that bastard. If I had a gun, I'd a shot him. The nerve of the son of a bitch to think he could give somethin’ like that to a white man.”
With his mouth hanging open in stupefaction, Billy Edmonds looks down at his blistered and bloody feet with his right foot swollen from the puncture wound. Searching for words, he simply asks, “Are you insane? Look at my feet you idiot.”
After calling to the man disappearing into the distance who continues onward, Billy Edmonds hears his companion once more.
“Don't worry about him. We don't need someone like that around here.”
“You must be a lunatic. My feet are bleeding and you turn away someone who wants to give me shoes because they're black? You must be out of your right mind.”
“Look, I know you need a pair o’ shoes but I saw them shoes. You didn't. There wasn't a speck o’ white on them shoes, as god is my witness, as god is my witness. I swear! ... I looked inside and out, Billy. They were black, black and more black. Trust me. You'd a done the same thing. I mean there's only so much a white man can take!”
“What's the difference if they're black, blue, purple or green or any other color of the fucking rainbow you idiot? Shoes are shoes!”
“Calm down. Calm down. Let's do this, that guy said there was a gas station just down the road a few miles. If we start walkin', we can get there in an hour or so. I think that's our best option.”
“I can't believe this is happening, stranded in this awful place, my foot's bleeding and now I'm getting hungry. I hope this place serves food. I need to get something to eat.”
“I'm sure it will. I'm gettin’ hungry too. We'll make it. I'm here for ya Billy. You don't mind if I call you Billy, cause I think we have some kind o’ personal connection here. I really feel that.”
“Well, I don't feel that at all. This is ridiculous What is this place?”
“Come on now Billy, a couple o’ white, southern boys like us, we got to stick together. You don't have to worry about nothin'. I'll be with ya every step of the way.”
As Ed Williams puts his arm under Billy's for support and they set off once more. Billy Edmonds looks over at his newfound companion as if he were his executioner. The two men make their way down the road and within minutes every step becomes a labored agony for Billy until his ordeal becomes unbearable.
“That's it. I need to stop. My feet — it hurts too much. I have to rest. ... I'm so hungry.”
“Okay, we'll stop for a minute. Hey Billy, do you see what I see?”
“What?”
“Down the road on the right-hand side, it's a house. I'll bet somebody lives there. I see a car parked outside. Let's see if we can get some help. Come on Billy. You can do it.”
“How far is it?” Billy asks.
“It aint that far. We can be there in five minutes. Come on. I'll help ya.”
“Okay, I'll try. I hope we can at least get something to e
at.”
Ten long minutes later both men are standing across the road from the small, one story house. The car parked in the driveway is a sight that offers the first real hope of deliverance from this painful, nightmarish place. Billy Edmonds allows himself to think this terrible experience is about to end.
“Look Billy, You're all bloody and dirty. We don't wanna scare anyone, so you stay here and I'll bring ya some food. That's what ya need first. Then we'll ask if we can get a ride into town.”
“I'll go with ya.”
“You better not. Your feet are dirty and bloody. You might scare these people and then we get nothin'. Lemme knock on the door first and ask for some food.”
“Okay, yeah get some food. I'll wait here.”
As Billy Edmonds sits, his companion crosses the road and into the yard of the modest, one story home. Moments later, Ed Williams knocks and within seconds an elderly woman opens the door.
“Yes,”
“Sorry to bother you ma'am but I have a friend here who's very hungry. He's in a real bad way and I wonder if you could spare a bowl o’ soup or somethin’ to help him out.”
“Absolutely, I've been here for almost forty years and I've never turned anybody away, not one time.”
“Well god bless you for that ma'am.”
“Don't you worry about your friend. You wait right here and I'll fix him a plate. We'll get him some food and anything else he needs.”
“I really appreciate that ma'am. Lemme go tell him that and I'll be right back.”
“Go ahead and I'll bring you both somethin’ to eat.”
Seconds later Ed Williams tells Billy the good news.
“Guess what, Billy. This lady answered the door, and she's gettin’ us both somethin’ to eat and you know what else she said?”
“What?”
“She said she'd give us any other kinda help we need.”
“Really?”
“That's what she said. That means a ride into town Billy. I think we made it.”
“Finally, this nightmare is ending. That's great. I don't know why I'm so hungry.”
“I know you are. She's gettin’ our food ready so lemme get back. She might think we left. We'll eat first, then see if she can run us into town.”
“I hope so,” Billy mutters.
As Ed Williams walks back across the road to receive the offered food, he hears Billy's voice.
“Ask her if we can get a ride into town.”
Billy sees his counterpart lift his hand in acknowledgment and watches as he again approaches the woman's front door. A deep feeling of relief comes over him as he sits waiting. She appears at the door carrying a tray with two bowls and two spoons, a small sign of hope at last for Billy Edmonds. Then he sees Ed Williams, without any apparent reason, take the tray from the woman, violently throw it on the ground and storm away in a rage. His seething words are bitterly angry.
“I shoulda known better. I shoulda known better. ... Bitch!
Amazed at his sudden, and unexpected anger, she steps out of her door and rails at the man's ingratitude.
“What the hell's the matter with you, mister? You come to my house and ask for food. Then you throw it on the ground right in front o’ me. I oughta call the sheriff on you.”
“You can go to hell, lady.”
By now, Billy Edmonds is on his feet and hobbling toward the house and the lady standing at her front door. Seeing his approach, her reaction is immediately unwelcoming.
“What the hell is wrong with you. You look like a ghost. You must have some kinda disease, mister. Both o’ you get out o’ here before I call the sheriff.”
“What are you talkin’ about? Look ma'am, please, I need some help, please.”
“You got some kinda disease and I don't wanna catch it. I want you both off my property right now.”
“Come on Billy. We don't need her.”
“What happened? What made you so angry?”
“I'll tell ya but we got to get out o’ here, get away from this hag.”
“No, I'm not leavin’ for somethin’ you did. I need help.”
“If you two don't get off my property, I'll let my dogs loose. You'll leave then. I got two German Shepherds in the backyard. I'll set my animals loose on ya. I mean it.”
“Come on Billy. She's crazy. Let's get out o’ here. It's gonna get dark soon.”
“Just tell me what happened.”
As the two men walk away, Billy hears his companion's reason for what just happened.
“You know what that old hag did to us?”
“What did she mean about me having a disease? What was she talking about?”
“She was just spoutin’ off. She's crazy. That's all.”
“What happened?”
“I was real nice to ‘er. I told ‘er we were hungry. We just wanted somethin’ to eat. So she comes back with two bowls o’ beans and what I saw turned my stomach. They were solid black, the whole bowl. Not one o’ them beans were white, not one. It made me sick. You think she coulda put at least a few white beans in that bowl. Every single one was black, every one. She did that on purpose. I know she did.”
“Are you serious? That lady wanted to help us and you throw a tantrum because she served you black beans? You must be insane. You idiot, I can't believe you did that. She had a car in her driveway. She coulda helped us. What's wrong with you?”
“We don't need someone like that helpin’ us Billy. I mean, come on. I've been insulted before but that was over the top. I think she saw us comin’ and just wanted to be hateful. Why else would she do that? White beans don't cost any more than black beans. Do they? She did it on purpose. It's obvious. She's just a mean old woman, Billy.”
“What on earth are you talking about? What is this ridiculous thing you have about black? We could die out here and all because you have this fucked up idea about anything black. You turned down a ride because the car was black. My bloody feet are covered in blisters because you wouldn't take a pair o’ shoes from some guy because they were black and now we might starve because you don't wanna eat black beans. You're nuts, mister. You are crazy and I'm stuck out here with ya.”
“We'll make it, Billy.”
“No, you're crazy. What is this thing you have about black? What's the difference between a black car and a white one? What's the difference between black shoes and white ones? There is no difference. The color doesn't matter, you dumb ass.”
“Are you sayin’ that it doesn't matter if somethin's black? Is that what you're sayin'?”
“That's right. It doesn't mean anything. It's just on the surface.”
“Look Billy, I know you don't mean that. This is your first day here. You're confused. You're upset. I understand that but I want you to think about somethin'. What if them black beans that lady wanted us to eat were poisoned? What then? Then you'd be thankin’ me for savin’ your life. Wouldn't ya? Don't you think it's strange that one minute she wants to feed us and the next she wants to sick her dogs on us? That ought to tell ya somethin'.”
“Wow, you're really out there. You're really out there. Aren't you?”
“No, no, I'm here. I'm right here with you Billy doin’ my best to protect you. That's where I am.”
“Protect me, are you crazy? It's because o’ you I'm in this condition.”
“I know you don't mean that because god knows I'm doin’ my best for ya. Lemme ask ya, how far do you think you'd get with your feet bein’ like that? In case you haven't noticed, you can't walk without my help. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to do it.”
“This place is a nightmare.”
Look we'll be okay. We just gotta keep walkin’ till we get to that gas station. Then we can rest.”
Billy Edmonds stares blankly into the distance and wonders when this agony will come to an end. As the sun s
ets, his companion puts his arm underneath his and both men start slowly walking down the road.
“It's gonna be all right Billy. We'll make it. We're in this together. Don't ever think I'd abandon you Billy, That aint gonna happen. You know what? I feel as though we're like twin brothers. I really do. That's god's honest truth. So, you don't worry about anything. I'm not goin’ anywhere.”
“Gee, thanks, what a relief.”
As they hobble off together, Billy Edmonds gazes at his counterpart with a suspicious, even alarming curiosity. Looking on him as strangely as if he had seven heads, he wonders who he is and where all of this is leading. Onward they walk with no sign of any human activity until finally, his blistered feet are too painful to ignore.
“That's it. I have to stop. I can't do it anymore. ... Shit! What am I doing here?”
“Okay, it's gettin’ dark, anyway. Let's find a place to rest. We'll be all right.”
After finding a place a hundred feet or so from the highway, both men sit and as complete darkness enshrouds them, it starts to get cold, very cold. Sleepless, shivering and with his feet throbbing in pain, Billy listens in bitter silence to his companion's senseless prattle.
“She shouldn't a give us those beans like that, Billy. That was uncalled for. It really was. I know she did it on purpose. ... It's gettin’ cold out here. I think it's gonna get down in the thirties tonight.”
With his shivering body curled in a ball, Billy Edmonds listens to his nemesis drone on with his neurotic fixation.
“It makes you wonder why people would do somthin’ like that. A white man can't get any respect. That's what it comes down to. I'll give ya an example, just yesterday this lady comes up to me cause she knew I was sleepin’ out here in the open. She tries to give me four or five blankets, and wouldn't ya know it? They were all black and brown, every one, every single one, not a white one in the bunch, not one. I asked her don't you have any white blankets? She didn't say nothin'. I knew right then what she did. She thought I was dumb, Billy.”
Shaking with goose bumps, Billy mockingly whispers, “I wonder what would make her think that.”
“You know what she did Billy? She gave all her white blankets to her uppity friends. Then she thinks she's gonna pawn them black blankets off on me. You know what I told her? I said ‘Lady you can take them blankets and stick ‘em in your ass.’ That's what I told her. You'd a said the same thing, Billy. I know you would've. We could a used those white blankets Billy, but no, she had to give those to her fancy friends. Now, we gotta suffer. It aint right, Billy. It just aint right.
A Journey of Souls Page 18
