by Lucy Daniels
To Mandy’s relief, Clarissa looked more concerned than judgemental, but the noise set Brutus barking and in an instant, all the other dogs joined in. Anthony jumped at the racket, but rallying, he leaned forwards. ‘Are you all right?’ he gasped. Mandy began to struggle to her feet and he offered his hand to help her up.
‘I’m really sorry.’ Mandy’s face was burning. She bent down to lift the brush. The racket from the dogs was awful. Even Hattie was yapping madly. Resisting the urge to yell at the frantic dogs, she grabbed the broom. ‘Just going to put this away,’ she said, though her voice was drowned in the din. Clarissa bent over her clipboard making a note.
Mandy bolted out of the door, opened the cupboard and set the broom inside, then leaned on the wall. Without warning, the events of last night invaded her head. She couldn’t do this, she thought. Not without time for preparation. She had been worse than useless with Zoe and now she was messing this up. For a second, she let misery wash over her. Then taking a deep breath, she gave herself a shake. She had left Nicole alone in the kennel with the inspectors and all the dogs going mad. However frustrated she was with Nicole’s secrecy, she wasn’t being fair. The girl was doing her best. Closing the cupboard door, she squared her shoulders and marched back in.
They had managed to calm some of the dogs, but Brutus was hopelessly rattled. He kept up a low growling throughout the inspection of the dog room. Mandy hoped for the best, but wherever they went in the rescue centre, the animals seemed unsettled. When they went through to see the small animals, the guinea pigs and rabbits were hiding. Even when she fetched salad, something that normally brought them running, none of them appeared. Frank too kept well back and even shrieked his alarm while the inspectors were peering into his cage. She should have kept them further back, Mandy thought, holding back a sigh as Clarissa made yet another note on her pad.
The visit to the cat room was better, although Mandy realised she’d left the broken scales out.
Well that looks professional …
She’d had a message to say the new ones had come in, but she hadn’t had time for another trip to York yet.
To Mandy’s amazement, Nicole became surprisingly chatty.
‘This is Myler and Jasper and Button,’ she explained, leaning down and taking Button from the cage and handing her to Clarissa. ‘Their mum’s called Mumma.’ Mandy cringed. She had meant to rename Mumma, but somehow it had stuck.
‘How lovely.’ Anthony reached over to tickle the kitten behind her ear and Button began to purr loudly.
‘Mandy’s a wonderful vet,’ Nicole went on. ‘Mumma’s so lucky she ended up here.’ She crouched on the edge of the kennel and stroked the older cat’s head. Mumma closed her eyes, leaning into Nicole’s touch. Nicole looked up and smiled. ‘Mandy and I have been giving her kittens milk. Mumma really wasn’t well when she came in, but Mandy’s made her better.’
Clarissa was making another note on her clipboard. She looked up and beamed at Nicole. ‘That’s great,’ she said. She glanced at her watch. ‘Is there somewhere we can chat?’ she asked. Mandy felt a fresh wave of nerves. She wished they could have stayed in the peaceful cat room.
The question and answer session was awful. It wasn’t that the questions were difficult. On a normal day they’d have been easy, but the stresses of last night had caught up. Mandy stumbled over the figures, failed to be specific when they asked her about neutering, and completely forgot to mention the specialist course in rehabilitation of wild birds she had attended. Nor did she tell them about her behavioural expertise.
Throughout the session, she itched to go and sort Brutus out. He was still barking now and then, but every time she was about to make her excuses, Clarissa fired another question her way. Nicole finally went to him. Anthony looked relieved and Mandy kicked herself. She should have sent Nicole in the first place.
She wanted to collapse on the floor when the lengthy session finally drew to a halt. Her shoulders drooped as Clarissa stood up. Anthony sent Mandy what seemed to be a rueful smile as he shook her hand.
‘That’s all for today.’ Mandy was unable to read Clarissa’s face as she too held out her hand. ‘You’ll hear from us in due course.’ The woman sent her a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Mandy had the fleeting impression that the inspector couldn’t wait to escape. A terrible smell met them as they made their way to the door. Mandy pulled the door towards her, hoping the fresh May air would mask the odour. Plastering on a smile, she ushered the inspectors outside, stood for a moment to ensure they had really left, then rushed back inside, wishing she could hold her nose.
‘What is that awful stink?’ she asked Nicole.
Nicole paused for a moment. ‘It was Sky,’ she admitted, looking worried. ‘I’m afraid she made a mess in her bed. I think I managed to clear it up without them noticing.’
Mandy looked around for Sky. A wave of guilt washed through her as she saw her beloved collie skulking in the corner. ‘Come here, Sky,’ she called and was relieved when Sky ran towards her with a flick of her tail. The collie’s back was hunched and her head was down as if she was making herself as small as possible. Mandy knelt down, but Sky still looked scared. ‘I’m sorry,’ Mandy said. When she opened her arms, Sky rushed into them. Mandy hugged the collie to her. She must have been really upset to have made a mess inside. No doubt, she had picked up on Mandy’s own nerves. Mandy could only hope that Nicole was right and Clarissa and Anthony hadn’t noticed. It would be awful if they thought she couldn’t even train her own dog.
Nicole was standing watching. Her face was downcast. ‘I’m going to have to go,’ she told Mandy. ‘School,’ she added, as if feeling she had to offer an explanation.
‘Thanks for coming.’ Mandy looked down at Sky again. The collie still looked upset. No wonder, Mandy thought. Everyone in the building had picked up on her awful mood. She should have pulled herself together.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Nicole said. ‘About the inspection. I should have asked first.’ Her voice sounded small as she pulled open the door.
Mandy closed her eyes for a moment. Nicole had been so good. She had charmed the inspectors in the cat kennels, calmed Brutus down and cleaned up Sky’s mess without a word. But they wouldn’t have had those problems in the first place if Mandy had been warned and prepared. What if they didn’t get the funding? This might have been Hope Meadows’ only chance. ‘Yes, you should,’ she said, before she could help it.
With a stricken look, Nicole darted out through the open door and rushed away. Mandy pushed herself upright and headed after her, but by the time she got outside, Nicole had jumped onto her bike and peddled away at top speed.
Mandy was glad when lunchtime came round. She hadn’t been able to face breakfast. Gran had spent ages calming Brutus down, but Frank the owl had remained agitated. He hooted at random intervals and jumped every time Mandy tried to check on him. Even her patients at morning surgery seemed stressed. Mandy knew it was her carrying her agitation around that was the problem. Nicole’s wounded look had stayed with her all morning. Mandy had tried to ring, but there had been no reply. Last, but not least, Emily had received a phone call asking her if she was available tomorrow. The hospital had a cancellation and could fit her in. It was good news, but Emily was naturally on edge.
Zoe looked a little better when Mandy checked her just before lunch, though her gums were still pale. She would take the husky up to her bedroom tonight, she decided. Helen couldn’t stay in the clinic all the time and Zoe needed someone with her. She tried calling Jimmy, but her call went straight to message. She’d have to try again later.
The phone in the hall rang as she bit into her second piece of cheese on toast. She was glad when Adam stood up and walked through into the hall to answer it. ‘Animal Ark.’ She heard his voice through the door. What would it be? She didn’t feel up to much.
‘How are you feeling?’ Emily’s voice broke through her thoughts.
Mandy had to swallow her mouthful of ch
eese and wash it down with a sip of coffee before she could answer. ‘I’m quite tired,’ she admitted. It was, perhaps, the understatement of the year.
Emily sent her a sympathetic smile. The illness and impending tests hadn’t dented her ability to read between the lines. ‘I’m sure everything seems overwhelming,’ she reached out and patted Mandy’s hand, ‘but give it a few days. It will get better.’
Mandy managed to smile back across the table, though she didn’t agree. The puppies were dead. Nothing could ever make that better.
Out in the hall, Mandy heard the phone go down. Adam opened the door. ‘That was Mrs Patchett,’ he said. Mandy could picture Mrs Patchett’s perfectly coiffured ash-blonde hair and her chilly eyes. She always asked for Mandy these days, ever since Mandy had performed a successful caesarean on her deerhound Isla. It hadn’t stopped her being difficult, though. ‘Isla had a litter two days ago,’ Adam told her. ‘She asked if you’d go out and check them, please.’
Mandy put down the mug she had just lifted. Her hands were shaking. There was no way she could go out and see a litter of puppies just now. Adam had sounded as if he was offering her a treat, but what if something went wrong? If she missed something with Isla …
With an effort, she lifted her gaze to meet her dad’s. ‘Please, Dad, could you get it?’ she asked. ‘Just this once …’ she trailed off, feeling sick.
Emily sent her a sympathetic look, but Adam looked surprised. ‘Of course I can,’ he said. For a moment, she thought he was going to say something else, but he glanced at Emily, then back at Mandy. With a worried look, he made his way to the clinic door and disappeared.
Emily stood up and put the kettle on. ‘Have you finished your coffee?’ she asked. ‘I’m going to make another cup.’
Five minutes later, she had made the drinks and asked Mandy to carry them through into the sitting room. Sunlight was filtering in through the window, warming the air. They sat down together on the sofa.
‘Talk to me,’ Emily urged.
Sky had followed them through. She lay down at Mandy’s feet with a sigh. Mandy was glad that her beloved collie was feeling more relaxed, though she wished she could find some of that comfort herself. ‘It’s Zoe,’ she said. ‘And Jimmy. I’m going to have to talk to him later.’ She paused for a moment, deep in thought. ‘He’ll probably be lovely about it all,’ she said.
‘And that makes it feel worse, doesn’t it?’ Emily said. She leaned towards Mandy until their shoulders were touching.
Mandy nodded. She couldn’t help but feel it would be easier if Jimmy could shout and rage at her. Wouldn’t it be better in the open? Didn’t she deserve it?
‘And how did the inspection go?’ Mum asked. ‘I know it was difficult, but was it just that you weren’t prepared?’
Mandy groaned. ‘It couldn’t have gone much worse,’ she said. ‘I tripped over a broom Nicole had left out, and set all the dogs off barking, and … oh it was just a mess. I was so cold to her afterwards as well.’ The last part was worst, she thought.
‘Well, that’s not like you,’ Emily said confidently. Her shoulder was still against Mandy’s.
‘I know.’ Mandy let her head fall forward. ‘I wanted to clarify but she dashed off so fast. I was annoyed with her about the lack of warning, but she’s great with the animals. I’ve tried to call, but I can’t get through.’
‘She’s probably busy at school,’ Emily pointed out. ‘She’ll be fine if you just apologise. She looks up to you so much.’
Mandy felt even more guilty as Emily spoke. It was true, Nicole did look up to her. What kind of role model had she been this morning? While she was still trying to think of a response, her phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket.
‘It’s James,’ she told her mum.
Emily patted her knee. ‘Good,’ she replied. ‘If anyone can help, he can.’
‘Why don’t you come over?’ James was asking her. Despite her better intentions, Mandy had found herself pouring out her problems to him. ‘Come this afternoon, stay overnight. It sounds like you could do with a break.’
For a moment, the idea of James and his lovely flat in York shone in her mind like a ruby in sunlight, but then reality returned. ‘I really can’t,’ she said. ‘I’ll have to stay here and look after Zoe.’
Though he sounded disappointed, Mandy could tell that he understood completely. It was her responsibility to look after Zoe now. ‘Give me a call back,’ he urged her. ‘Let me know how it’s going in a day or two. Maybe I can come to you at the weekend.’
Mandy heaved a sigh as she shoved the mobile back in her pocket. She walked back through to the sitting room. Emily turned to smile at her as she came in.
‘How’s James?’ she asked.
‘He’s well.’ Mandy fought to keep the despondency out of her voice, but it sounded flat, even to her. ‘He asked me to stay over.’
‘And did you accept?’ Emily was gazing at her, eyebrows raised.
‘I couldn’t,’ Mandy said. ‘I have to stay here and look after Zoe. She needs someone with her.’
Emily’s eyes opened wide. ‘I can do that,’ she said. Mandy looked at her mum. Emily really did look a lot better. The dark rings round her eyes had all but disappeared. ‘Please let me,’ Emily urged. ‘I’m not doing any vet work. Zoe and her puppy can come in here and sit with me. It’s not like she’ll be any trouble. I often wake in the night. She’ll be company. And you’ll be back tomorrow before I have to go for my tests. Really, I’d like to.’
Mandy’s resolve crumbled. ‘Are you sure?’ she asked. ‘It wouldn’t be too much for you? I guess I could pick up the new cat scales whilst I’m there.’
‘That’s settled then,’ Emily beamed.
By three o’clock, she was halfway to York. As she began the long descent down onto the plain, her phone rang. There was a layby just ahead. She pulled into it and slammed on the brakes.
It was Jimmy. Mandy felt her heart leap into her mouth. She’d wanted to catch him before leaving, to check that he was okay, that he wouldn’t mind if she went, but she hadn’t had the chance. She had tried to call twice before she set off, but he hadn’t replied.
‘Hi.’ He sounded as if he was making an effort to be cheerful. ‘How are you? And how’s Zoe?’
She should be with the husky, Mandy thought, filling up with shame. Jimmy had asked after her own health first, even when he was worried about his pet. She should be happy, but instead, she felt cold. ‘I’m okay,’ she said. ‘Zoe’s not too bad. Still a bit weak, but she’s feeding the pup well.’
‘Great.’ She could hear the intensity of the relief in Jimmy’s voice. ‘Can I come and see you all? I have to go out later, but I’ve half an hour.’ His voice was filled with certainty. He was sure she’d be there.
Mandy let her breath out slowly. ‘I’m actually on my way to York,’ she admitted. ‘James asked me, and Mum thought I should go. Mum’s looking after Zoe, she’s expecting you to call.’ She had rehearsed what she was going to say. Back then it had seemed fine. Now it felt awful. She’d abandoned Zoe, without even checking if it was okay with Jimmy first. There was a long silence on the line.
‘Okay,’ Jimmy said. ‘Thanks. I’ll give your mum a call.’
There was another silence while Mandy tried to think what she should say. ‘I can come back if you like.’ She put her hand on the gearstick. She would turn round and go back. She really shouldn’t have left in the first place. ‘I’ll come back,’ she repeated.
‘No, don’t do that. You’ll miss me anyway if you’re halfway to York.’ Jimmy’s voice was light, but was it real, or was he faking it to hide the hurt? ‘As I said, I have to go out soon.’
Mandy’s eyes wandered across the road. There were cows in the field opposite. How contented they looked with their calves beside them. She seemed to have spent so much time lately wishing she could rewind her decisions. She should have waited and seen him before heading to York.
It’s okay,’ Jimmy
’s voice was patient. ‘You should go to James. It will be good for you to spend some time with him.’ There was a moment’s pause. ‘I’ll give your mum a call. It’s quite okay. I know it must have been really difficult for you.’ His voice had become muffled as if he was finding it hard to speak. Mandy wanted to reach out and hug him, but he was miles away.
‘I really am sorry,’ she said. ‘I tried to call. If I’d known you only had a short time …’ she trailed off.
‘Not your fault,’ he said. ‘I should have called you earlier.’
Mandy felt a momentary urge to get out of the car and howl. She hadn’t in any way meant to suggest he was to blame for not phoning. One of the cows across the road had walked to the bottom of the field and was gazing across at Mandy. She sought for something to say that would make it right, but her mind was empty. ‘See you soon,’ she said finally. Maybe she could see him tomorrow. He would probably visit Zoe every day until she was ready to go home.
‘Yes.’ He sounded sad. ‘Bye then.’
‘Bye,’ Mandy whispered. The line went dead.
Chapter Twenty-One
Mandy dashed to Andersen’s and picked up the order of cat scales. At least that was something she’d achieved, something that would improve things.
As she was leaving, she caught sight of a new multi-parameter monitor that she knew Helen was hankering after. Putting her scales on the floor at her feet, she stopped to examine it. She had just worked out how the blood-pressure attachment worked, when a loud voice caught her ear.
‘We could do with at least five, don’t you think?’
Mandy froze. She would know that voice anywhere. She stood very still, hoping to go unnoticed, but then a deeper voice, even more familiar, but equally unwelcome said, ‘Mands?’
Mandy dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands as she swung round. There stood a blue-eyed, curly-haired man, wearing a smart shirt and looking like he had stepped out of a menswear catalogue. At his side was a petite woman, in figure-hugging jeans and a cornflower blue silk blouse that looked great against her long glossy black hair: Simon Webster and Samantha Leigh. Mandy hadn’t seen Simon since the day she had split up with him last summer. Samantha was clinging to Simon’s arm as if signalling her possession.
