Marie felt her heart aching at the knowledge he was just a few steps away and hadn’t come back to talk to her. Luna left and Corinthia waited for her outside to give her some privacy.
“Ready?” Corinthia asked when she came out of the room wearing her clean, although loose, clothes and a somber expression.
“I need this.” She answered the unasked question.
“I understand.” Corinthia led her for a short walk through a white hallway on which other small rooms opened. They all looked like the one Marie had occupied. “Out there.” She showed an opaque glass door.
“Thanks.” Marie could see a nervous figure walking back and forth behind it. She breathed in and out, tried unsuccessfully to steady her hands, and then walked to the door and lowered the handle.
“Be strong.”
She heard Corinthia’s words at the same time she saw Grant walking away from her.
The door closed behind her and he turned, startled by the sound. It was immediately clear he hadn’t expected to see her. “What are you doing up? You should be in bed. You shouldn’t be walking around.”
It was unfair that he made her want to cry when she only wanted to lose herself in his arms. “I came to see you.”
He looked at her for a moment and his expression softened, his eyes reflecting an inner turmoil. “I can’t stay.”
She shook her head. “I’m not asking you to.”
“I don’t want to leave.” Two steps and he was towering over her, but he didn’t touch her. He just stood there, a few inches away, slightly shaking.
She felt the full impact of his green eyes on her and longed to reach out and circle her arms around his back. “I need to know you’re alive.”
He stepped closer, still not touching her, his eyes still locked with hers, keeping her enthralled. “Come with me.”
She experienced a sudden rush of blood from her extremities to her head and froze.
“Come with me. I don’t want to lose you.” He finally closed the gap and took her in his arms, his mouth looking for hers.
“Grant—” She had so much to say, but in the end, she only wanted him.
“Come with me. I promise I’ll take care of you,” he whispered between kisses. “I know you could still have a life here. But nobody will make you feel loved as I will. Please, tell me yes.”
Marie’s mind was blissfully vacant, blood ringing in her ears, but one thing she knew: he was right. Nobody would make her feel like he did. “Yes.”
“Yes?” Grant broke contact with her lips for a moment. “Yes? You said yes?”
She nodded and burrowed herself in his embrace to hide against his chest. He raised her face to his and kissed her again.
His eyes were bright. “I’ll make you happy.”
“I know you will.”
“Let’s go tell Corinthia. We must prepare—”
“We must prepare for what?” Corinthia was eyeing the two of them suspiciously. “This is not what I think it is, right?”
“Marie is coming with me.” Grant took Marie under his wing.
Marie looked the woman in the eyes and nodded.
“You can’t be serious.” Corinthia turned to Grant. “She’s fifteen and you’re seventeen—”
“I’m going with him. I was sentenced to the inner chamber. I’m dead anyway.” Marie shrugged.
“Yes, I know. We know and that’s why Luna and I have found a safe place for you as well.”
“Where?” Grant asked before she could.
“There’s this pure breed, Milady, who’s helping fathered women build a new life in a place called the Village. Milady just accepted your friend Zena, and she has already agreed to take Marie.” Corinthia passed one hand through her red curls.
“Zena?” Marie couldn’t help but yell. “Zena was here?”
“Yes, she left a day before you arrived, and I was going to mention her to you—” Corinthia tried to finish her sentence, but Marie didn’t let her.
“What happened to her? She disappeared, and we were worried sick she’d been killed. Why didn’t she come back to us?”
Corinthia raised her hand to stop the avalanche of questions. “Zena was sent here not long after Callista arrived. She was at the end of her shift when she tried to save a woman who had just arrived from a beating. The guard Zena stopped sentenced her to the inner chamber just as Grant had been. She wanted to let you and the doctor know she was alive, but it was too dangerous, and we promised her we would find a way to get the message to you.”
“But she’s fine.” Marie felt a weight lifting from her chest.
“Yes, I promise you. Zena is fine. We’re expecting to hear from her soon.” Corinthia paused and then stepped closer to Marie and took her hands while Grant stepped to the side. “Now, let’s get back to what is best for you.” She sighed. “What you’re planning to do is madness. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.”
Marie felt Grant going still and tilted her head to look at him, but he had his face trained on the woman.
“Marie, you must understand that the City of Men, even if takes women as well, it is a city built and intended for men.” Corinthia spoke slowly.
Marie looked at Grant again, but he didn’t return the gaze. If anything, his body had gone stiller. “Grant?” He stepped away from her.
Corinthia walked a step closer to him, leaving Marie behind, the third corner of their misshaped triangle. “You know that.”
Grant moved the weight of his body from one leg to the other. His complexion grew paler, and his brows furrowed when he said, “I’d do anything to keep you safe…” He finally looked at her. “But Corinthia could be right.”
The woman acknowledged his words with a sigh of relief. “The Village is a safer place for a young girl. She’ll have a good life there. Out of the reach of Ginecea but still closer to normality than she would have anywhere else. And she already knows somebody there.”
Marie thought about it for a moment. A place where she would be safe. A place where she could have a family with a Nora or an Idra or even a Verena. A place where she could have a safer future than the one Grant had offered. Her heart broke at the idea of a life without him. She walked to him, took his hand, and brought it forth to show it to Corinthia. “I’ll go with Grant.”
“What?” both Corinthia and Grant said at the same time, both showing incredulous expressions on their faces.
Eyes wide and words broken, he whispered, “You don’t have to.” He took her hand in his, brought it to his lips, and brushed them across her knuckles. “I want you to have a beautiful life.”
Corinthia stepped closer to her. “Please, listen to him.”
Marie gave her a smile, then turned to Grant. “I don’t want to live without you.”
Corinthia didn’t look convinced. “You’re too young to make such a decision. You could die out there. He’s barely an adult—”
“I won’t change my mind. I’ll follow him to the end of the world and back.” At her words, Grant squeezed her hand and she felt his ragged breathing and how he was trying to stay calm. “Can you help me prepare what I need for the travel?”
The woman moved from one foot to the other, a troubled expression on her face. “Marie, please, reconsider your decision. You might think this is what you want, but you don’t know.”
“I’ll leave with him tonight. With or without your help. I’d rather have it though.”
Corinthia sighed. “Follow me.”
***
Marie endured Luna’s attempt at swaying her from her decision, but eventually the two women had to accept there wasn’t anything they could say to change her mind and promised to send word to Rane to tell her what had happened to her and Zena.
“On the second day of the hike, there should be someone waiting for you. The City of Men sends scouts every day looking for men on the run. Keep north and they’ll find you. You’ve enough food and water for five days. Never stop, keep walking—”Luna couldn’t finish.
“Walk during the night and rest a few hours during the day. Drink a few sips of water once in a while. Keep a steady pace…” Luna and Corinthia took turns giving them advice until it was time to go. At midnight, clouds obscured their normal view of the night sky. A steady drizzle accompanying them, she and Grant left Vasura behind. It was almost anticlimactic how easy it was to step outside of the waste plant. Corinthia and Luna walked them to the wall and opened a small gate hidden from sight by ivy. Embraces, a few more words of motherly warnings, and loving thanks were exchanged, then one small step through the gate and they weren’t Vasurians anymore. The brand on Marie’s arm seemed to ache.
If only Ginecea knew how easy it was to escape the waste plant, it would have understood how much Vasurians loved it there. Once the sound of the gate closing behind them finalized their new reality, a few tears escaped her eyes before she could stop the flow. Grant took her in his arms and rocked her slowly for a long while.
Then he stirred. His eyes went to the sky and then back to her. “We’ve got some road to cover before sunup.” He took her under his shoulder and they started walking hip to hip.
The night was pitch black, but he somehow knew which direction was north, and after the first moment of silence, they started talking to pass the time. Grant had taken her heavy backpack as soon as they were out of Vasura and so she had only to focus on walking while listening to his warm voice. Her body was still sore, but Luna had given her enough painkillers to keep the worst of the pain at bay. She also had some for the trip. The first light of the day arrived and he called for a break. They had walked for more than five hours and she was exhausted.
“I’ll stay awake. You need to sleep.” He unrolled a slim mat and then sat on the ground by it. “I’ll be your cushion.” He helped her down and eased her head on his lap, his fingers playing with her hair. “The second time I saw you and I could get a good look at you, your head was illuminated from behind by the stairwell light. It looked like your face was framed by a halo. Your eyes and your mouth were set out by your fair skin and I thought you weren’t real.”
Marie shivered under his touch and brought her knees to her chest. He misunderstood her reaction and searched for a sweater in his backpack.
“Better?” He tucked her in it as if it were a blanket, his hands resting on her shoulders. “When I’m around you, I always worry about hurting you.”
She wanted to say that he had hurt her back at Redfarm, but the pain he had inflicted had never been physical. Instead, she pulled his hand down, leaned her face against it, and closed her eyes, happy to be lulled by his voice. She had gone too close to losing him to waste time rehashing the past.
But he wasn’t of the same opinion. “Remember when you caught me stealing from the cellars?”
She smiled against his hand. “I could never forget.”
“I’d been thinking of you the whole time, and when I saw you there, I thought I was hallucinating. My heart started beating so fast and I wanted to talk to you, but you looked terrified and then I was worried you were going to scream and give me away. It was terrible.” He laughed.
Marie propped her head on her bent arm to look at him but kept the hold on his hand. “I was paralyzed. I’d never been so close to a man in my whole life—” She felt his body stiffen and softly added, “It’s the way I was raised.”
His fingers found her hair again and he combed through it in slow movement. “I know, but it hurt so much whenever I was near you. The only thing I wanted to do was kiss you and hold you in my arms, and you looked at me in fear.”
She was surprised by his confession. He was so different from her and looked so much stronger than her. She had assumed his strength was also psychological. “It wasn’t fear.”
He stopped caressing her. “What was it, then?” His unblinking eyes were a dark green in the pale light of the new day.
“It was desire of something I couldn’t have.” He bit his bottom lip at her words and she lost focus for a moment. “You weren’t mine and couldn’t be. I dreamed it was just me and you and nothing more. I wished for the whole universe to disappear.”
Grant tilted his head right and left and came back to her to slowly smile. “It worked.”
“It did.” She pulled him down to her and kissed him.
Without breaking contact with her lips, he gently turned her sideways, easily maneuvering her until she was lying on him. “You’re so light. You barely weigh anything.” His hands roamed along her sides, careful not to apply any pressure on her back. “Sleep.” His voice was a warm puff against her ear. “I won’t let you fly away.”
She felt the aftermath of his smile on her skin and shivered once again, raised her head, and then looked for his eyes. “I’ve never been so happy in my life.” She laughed because it was a feeling so powerful she could hardly bear it. “I want to scream it for everybody to know.”
He hooked one hand around her neck and lowered her face to his, keeping her mouth so close to his, but not touching, his whole body trembling, his voice but a broken whisper. “I would’ve found you.”
She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t say anything.
“Had it taken my whole life, I would’ve found you again.”
Marie couldn’t contain her tears and turned her face, not wanting him to see her like that.
He wiped the wetness from her cheeks. “I saw you hiding it before, but you aren’t less strong for showing you’re human.” Murmuring sweet nonsenses, he left a trail of small kisses on her eyes, nose, lips, and jaws. He cuddled her until she relaxed against him and fatigue finally claimed them both.
***
The desert proved to be selective about forms of life. Marie had seen pictures of the Desertica Region, but she hadn’t been prepared for the absence of visual clues to determine which way was which. If it weren’t for the fact they knew where the sun rose and fell, they could have walked in any direction without knowing where they were going. Dunes and small shrubs, that was all there was to look at. Three days and three nights passed. Although they walked at night and were careful to cover their faces during their daily slumber, they still got sunburned from the times they moved around and removed their covers. On the dawn of the fourth day, Marie started worrying. By that night, she was almost ready to voice her fear that they were stranded in the middle of nowhere. The fifth morning, when they started drinking from the second to the last bottle of water, even Grant started to look on edge. And maybe was just her imagination, but he started to look thinner.
“They’re here, somewhere, looking for us.” He had been staring at the vast expanse of nothingness for the last hour. His eyes darting left and right, squinting at the horizon.
She didn’t dare saying anything.
He looked at her and then shook his head. “I know I kept north. They must be close.”
She took him by the arm. “I know you did. We’re in the right place.” She wasn’t sure of anything, but confessing it wasn’t going to help. “Let’s rest for a few hours and then we’ll keep going until we find those men or they find us.”
He looked at the bottle and then gave it to her. “Your lips are chapped. You need to drink some more water.”
“I’m fine.” She refused the bottle and pushed it back to him. His lips were so dry he had drawn blood last time he had bit on them.
“Dehydration sets in before you realize it.” He leaned to give her lips a soft brush. “I know what I’m talking about.”
She accepted the water and took a small sip. “You too.” Crossing her legs, she sat on the mat he had already unrolled. They had used only one for the two of them. She had slept furled by his side and even on him for the four previous days. When she had tried to move to give him some respite, he had said, “I can’t bear the thought of not touching you in my dreams.” She had smiled at that an
d her heart had beaten at double speed for a while. They should have taken turns at staying awake, but it hadn’t worked out well. She couldn’t rest if he wasn’t, and they soon found that their heartbeats synched and helped them relax, which in turn led them to fall asleep at the same time. She knew it wasn’t smart, but out there it was easy to forget they weren’t, in fact, alone in the universe.
Grant sank on the thin mat by her side and reached out to caress her face. “When we’re there…” His eyes went to some faraway place where the alleged City of Men should have been according to Corinthia’s calculations, and his expression clouded for the briefest moment. “I won’t let anybody touch you.”
She hadn’t realized he was worried about that. “We’ve got to get there first,” she mused.
They rested, but not as much as they should have. An underlying tension was present. Finally, they decided to start walking. Night came and then it was dawn again. The last sip of water was drunk. The last bite of bread eaten. They kept walking until their legs hurt so much they had to stop. They hugged each other and didn’t bother with the mat. Another cloudless night kept them company.
“I want you to know I’d do it again,” Marie whispered to him, her eyes unfocused and her mind foggy.
“Marie…” Grant stroked her back ever so gently.
She slipped in and out of consciousness, memories and images mixing, past and present chasing after each other. “Again and again and again.”
***
“Hurry, bring me some water and a blanket.”
“Are they alive?”
“I don’t know…”
“My Heavens, they’re nothing but kids—”
“Did we get to them in time?”
“I can a feel a pulse on the boy.”
“What about her?’
I’m alive.
“She’s such a small thing.”
“All skin and bones.”
“Is she breathing?”
“Yes, I can see her chest moving now.”
17
Feeling cold, Marie reached out from under the blanket, her fingers searching for the familiar warmth of his side. Her hand traveled on the smooth surface until her arm was stretched and her fingers fell over the edge. She patted the empty space, the smile turning up the corners of her lips slowly fading. “Grant?” When there was no answer, her eyes shot open, a few confused memories of fragmented conversations coming back to her.
Marie's Journey (Ginecean Chronicles) Page 26
