"You do not seem so lovesick that you have forgotten how to be impudent," snapped Kirby. He spoke more harshly than he meant to. Truly, this was the keenest form of agony!
He could not help but reflect on all the qualities of his own which were the opposite of James in every way. He was older, with a face too weathered to be handsome, and burdened with a reputation that would make Alice shudder if she truly understood it. His fortune came from gambling. His manners and habits were rough and unused to the gentility a woman deserved. His life was not the easy merry-go-round of town and country delights which the ton indulged in, James with them – he had travelled the length of the country in accordance with the whims of his militia posting. It was a rootless existence. It suited him. Alice deserved better.
That did not even come to the point that was most painful of all – the fact that she had only wanted to marry him because he had kissed her. Her feelings, he was certain, were only embarrassment and injured pride. She would recover the moment a young lordling began to court her in earnest.
Kirby had seen enough young Misses reach the end of their first Season to recognise marriage-madness when he saw it. He would have done better to leave Alice alone.
Yet despite all this – despite his best instincts – he did not regret the kiss.
How could he regret a moment which still echoed through his body? How could he regret the pleasure he felt at the memory of Alice, the scent of her sun-warmed hair, and the forbidden touch of her lips?
It must remain just that – a memory. It was too dangerous for both of them to turn it into anything more.
No matter how painfully the new flame in his cold heart burned.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Lady Helena had a very pretty garden in the English Landscape style. Alice found plenty to admire between the serpentine lake, the stately grove of beech trees, the tiny island with its delightful curving bridge, and the quaint little animal statues dotted in odd corners. She much preferred this to the formal gardens at Westbourne Hall, and her first instinct on stepping out of the carriage was to go running off to explore each charming grotto and seek out every twinkling waterfall.
The Duchess's words had very nearly been driven from her mind when, no sooner than she had greeted Lady Helena and taken a step towards the enchanting lake, she caught sight of Mr Grantham hustling towards her with a predatory look in his eyes.
"Cathy! Let me take your arm," Alice said quickly, thrusting her hand under her sister's elbow. "The ground slopes so steeply here, it would be easy to fall."
Catherine linked arms with her, surprised but obliging, and turned to resume her conversation with Lady Helena's sisters.
Mr Grantham appeared behind them, angling for a way to enter the conversation. His gaze was fixed upon Alice.
"Oh! Cathy, you must not be standing around so long," cried Alice. "Look, what a charming little bench by that flowerbed! You must let me escort you to it."
"I hope Your Grace is not unwell?" asked one of the sisters, concerned. Catherine smiled awkwardly.
"My sister is overzealous. I am perfectly fine. Alice," she whispered, as she was firmly tugged away. "My condition is not public knowledge! And really, I have no need to sit down."
"But I have a need to avoid a certain someone," Alice whispered back, through a fixed grin.
"Your Grace! Miss Sharp!" Grantham darted in front of them and made an obsequious bow. "I trust I find you well?"
"In excellent health, thank you," smiled Catherine, while Alice bit the inside of her lip to quell a sharp retort. "And how is your father?"
"The Viscount is enjoying a summer among his extensive lands in Lanley."
"How charming!" said Catherine. Alice gave her arm a gentle nudge where Grantham could not see. "I grew up in the countryside, you know, and I have never become accustomed to these long Seasons in town. Please, tell me about Lanley."
"Perhaps before long an opportunity will arise for you to make a visit," said Grantham. Alice felt his gaze crawling up her neck as he spoke. The man had an awful habit of making her feel like a piece of meat hung up at the butcher's.
"Cathy, let me go and fetch you something to drink," she said, dropping Catherine's arm.
"Allow me!" Grantham interrupted, and since Alice's goal was accomplished by his leaving, she made no objection.
"Catherine, how can you be so cruel? Surely you know that Mr Grantham is the very gentleman I hoped to avoid!"
"Keep your voice down, Alice," Catherine answered smoothly, taking a seat on the bench. "No one is asking you to marry Mr Grantham – only to be civil. He comes from a very old and respectable family."
"And we do not." Alice grimaced. "I take your point."
"I know his behaviour towards you has not always been what it ought, but if he wishes to make amends now I don't see why you shouldn't let him."
Alice lowered her head for a moment onto her sister's shoulder. "You are too good, Cathy. You see goodness in everyone where I see only cruel designs."
"Don't be so hard on yourself. See, here he comes now – and I must go and speak to Lord Gregory. Be polite, but do not give him cause to hope. That's the kindest way."
"Cathy –" began Alice, reaching for her hand as she rose, but Catherine was taking the glass of champagne from Mr Grantham's hand with a smile.
"Thank you, sir. I hope you are enjoying the sunshine?"
"Very much, Your Grace."
"I will leave you in my sister's capable hands."
"Miss Sharp," said Grantham, swooping in to sit where Catherine had been a moment earlier. He handed her the glass, a short, conical flute with an elegantly designed stem. It was full to the brim with fizzing champagne. Alice was not at all sure that she wanted to drink alcohol under such circumstances.
"Was there no tea?" she asked, with a coy smile. Grantham frowned.
"You can hardly have expected me to bring you tea, Miss Sharp. Did you mistake me for a woman?"
"Of course not." Alice remembered her own endless lessons in genteel tea-pouring at the hands of her older sisters. It was essential for a young unmarried girl to have a pretty way with a tea set. "My mistake."
Grantham's hands fidgeted in his lap. "I see an uncommonly attractive grotto just down the hill," he announced, making Alice jolt. "Why don't you finish your drink and come explore it with me?"
"If you insist on my drinking champagne, you must surely oblige me by letting me drink at my own speed," said Alice. She nodded towards Grantham's own, empty, glass. "I cannot keep up with the pace of you gentlemen."
"I have been accustomed to champagne since I was a child," said Grantham. "It is drunk every day in the great house at Lanley. I suppose you did not have the same experience."
Alice flushed. A reference to her father's poverty was not the way she would have chosen to be courted – if he must court her at all. "No. We were not so extravagant."
Grantham seemed to realised he had not spoken well. "I would love to hear something of your childhood in Devon."
Alice gave him a muddled account of days spent running along the beaches and evenings reading books aloud by the roaring fire. All the while, she was looking about in hopes of attracting someone else's attention. Perhaps Lady Helena might see that her guest was unwillingly engaged? No, she was engrossed in serving cake to a couple of elderly ladies. Perhaps Cathy – no, she was talking to the Earl of Ramford, whose company Harry valued highly, and she would not abandon him for the sake of an awkward situation Alice ought to be able to navigate alone.
She was so absorbed in her search for rescue that she did not notice Grantham's lips positioned perilously close to her ear. "You've finished your drink," he murmured, spilling hot breath down her neck. "Won't you come explore the garden with me?"
His hand fastened around her wrist. Alice pulled her arm back with a squawk of protest. It drew the attention of several guests, including Catherine, who gave her a look of pity but was unable to extricate herself from the Earl.
"I have a few words I wish to say to you," said Grantham, leading her aside into a secluded grove. They were not quite out of sight of the party, but far enough apart that their conversation might go unheard. Alice wondered why none of the other gentlemen present – gentlemen who had previously been her admirers – were trying to draw her away. She was certain she was not imagining the sidelong looks she received from Mr Digby and Grantham's crowd of friends.
"There's no need to stand on ceremony," she said, anxious for the encounter to be over. "Please, say whatever you wish."
But Grantham did not speak immediately. He stood clasping and unclasping his hands, turned his head first to the sky, then to the crowd of gentlemen, and overall resembled a fish startled by its sudden landing on dry ground.
"Are you well?" asked Alice.
"I am not," he groaned. "I am sick – I am wounded – but I know what my medicine must be."
Alice began to feel a fatal sense of what was to come.
Grantham seized her hand and pressed it to his lips. "Prepare yourself, dear girl. What I am about to say may shock you."
"I assure you, sir, I am not so easily frightened as some women."
Grantham frowned. "I did not say frightened. Why must you twist my words so?"
Alice lowered her head, seeing no way out other than to ride the storm till the end and then make a swift departure. "I apologise. Please, continue."
"Miss Sharp, I have recently been thinking of my future. It has become clear to me that, as the heir to the Viscountcy of Lanley, it is my duty to see that my family line is secure. Do you follow?"
"You are hardly speaking in riddles." Alice was beginning to feel sick. How ironic! Precisely when she was mourning the lack of a proposal from one gentleman, along came another! She tried to pity Grantham, who was struggling to get out his words, yet she felt nothing but horror. She had no desire to become Mrs Grantham. Even the lure of the Viscountcy had no effect on her feelings. She wished he would not mention it so often.
"I am in need of a fine woman to be my wife," said Grantham. "A woman who knows how to run a household, who understands the gravity of my place in Society. Miss Sharp, as the Duke of Westbourne's sister-in-law you surely understand the demands Society makes on titled men."
"Are you proposing to me, or to my brother-in-law?" asked Alice, losing patience.
"To you, Miss Sharp," said Grantham, surprised. "I – I had intended to speak of your beauty, of your many personal charms, but I see that we are already of the same mind. I am glad –"
"Do you love me?"
The manner of her refusal depended on the answer to that question. It was one thing to disappoint a suitor, quite another to publically break a man's heart.
"I have already enumerated for you the benefits of our union," said Grantham.
"You do not love me?"
He frowned. "Will it please you to hear it? Yes, yes – I am in love with you. I ask you for the honour of your hand."
"I do not believe you."
"Why should you disbelieve me? I have never been dishonest with you." Grantham's tone was growing sharper. He, too, was losing patience. "Now, shall I make an announcement to the assembled company, or would you prefer me to write to your father first?"
"Mr Grantham, you misunderstand me." Alice's cheeks grew hot. "I have not accepted your proposal."
"Well, hurry up and make your acceptance!" He saw her expression and relented. "Forgive me. I am not in the habit of proposing to women often. I know that this moment is considered the pinnacle of a young woman's life. Allow me to compliment you on your –"
"Please, sir, I wish for no compliments." Alice took his hand between hers and squeezed it sympathetically. "I am unable to return your affection."
"What difference does that make?" snapped Grantham. "Marry me and you will be a Viscountess."
"But I do not wish to marry you!"
The truth finally dawned on Grantham. He stuttered for a few moments, then regained his composure. "I cannot help but think that you are not aware of the very great honour I do you by offering my hand in marriage."
"I do consider it an honour. I am sorry to refuse you. My decision remains the same." Alice's stomach twisted. She longed for someone – Cathy, Lady Helena, even Digby – to take pity on her and interrupt the conversation.
"We will see whether you hold your resolve once I have written to your father," said Grantham. There was a nasty twist to his mouth which had not been there before.
"My father has two daughters married, sir, and one to a Duke," said Alice coldly. "He is not at such great pains to find me a husband that he will marry me off against my wishes."
Grantham's fingers fastened around her arm, his nails digging into the soft flesh. This time, they were too far apart from the others for Alice's gasp to draw any attention. "Who are you to refuse me?" he hissed. "Miss Sharp, sister of Mrs Agnes Blakely, daughter of Mr Sharp of nobody-cares-where?"
Alice willed herself to remain calm despite the pain in her arm. "Do you believe that insulting my family will make me change my mind?"
"I have laid claim to you," spat Grantham. "Every gentleman in the ton – every gentleman who matters – knows that I have staked you out as mine. Refuse me and you will not receive another proposal. Do not dream that a man of higher station will want you once I have cast you aside."
"It was your mistake to brag about a lady whose affections you were not sure of," said Alice steadily. "Refusal is a woman's prerogative, Mr Grantham, and I am refusing you now. I do not want any husband that will have me; I want a husband that I love. Please, let go of me. I do not want to cause a scene."
At the mention of a public scene, Grantham released her. He made her a sharp, mocking bow.
"I wish you luck, Miss Sharp. Doubtless you'll need it."
And he was gone – stalking off between the flowerbeds. Digby and the assembled gentlemen looked at him curiously as he stormed away. Then their gazes fell on Alice, surprised and probing. She felt herself glow red under their attention, but was pleased to note that her composure was otherwise unruffled. She adjusted her dress where Grantham's grip had mussed it and stepped lightly across the lawn to take a cup of tea from Lady Helena's youngest sister.
Good luck to Mr Grantham, if he hoped to ruin her prospects by poisoning her name with all the eligible gentlemen of the ton. The only gentleman Alice cared about would not care a bit.
The thought of Kirby soothed her fluttering stomach as she sipped tea and pretended nothing had happened.
How strange that a man she didn't like was easily persuaded into marriage, while the one she adored was convinced he would never make her a husband! The nightmarish vision of life as Grantham's Viscountess only made her dreams of marriage to Kirby all the more vivid.
All she had to do was find a way to share them with him.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The weather held the following morning, and the bright summer's day found the occupants of Amberley House up and about much earlier than usual. There was business to attend to.
"I am sorry to leave you to your own devices all day," said Catherine, gently patting her hair as she looked in the mirror. "It seems even Captain Kirby won't be here to entertain you. Have you noticed that he has become quite the early riser of late?"
"I have," said Alice. There was very little that Kirby did that escaped her attention.
Catherine smiled. "It's the influence of a family environment. Indeed, I have never seen a man more in need of a strong female influence to reach his full potential. A pity he has no taste for commitment."
Alice took up a diamond hairclip from the dressing-table and passed it to Catherine's maid. "Here, I like this one better. Cathy, have you any idea why the Captain is so averse to the thought of marriage?"
Catherine hesitated. "I don't wish to speak ill of anyone, Alice. But from what I understand, the Captain has made great use of his bachelorhood. Harry has let me know one or two things which lead me to believe he enjoys it a little too much. It would take a very strong woman to tempt him to a better path."
I am strong, Alice thought. All I need do is prove it to him – and show him that he is a better man than he believes.
"I know where that rascal, Kirby, has got to," announced the Dowager Duchess, tapping her cane on the floor with a sharp rat-tat as she barged into Catherine's dressing room. "I'm afraid our feminine influence has had no effect on him whatsoever. He left for White's immediately after breakfast. Doubtless he will while the day away drinking and gambling, as such reckless gentlemen do."
"Is it truly reckless, in the Captain's case?" asked Alice slyly. "I hear he wins enough money each year to make himself a fortune."
"You would do better to pay mind to men with fortune of a more reputable sort," said the Dowager Duchess sternly. Alice flushed. She had not troubled them with news of Mr Grantham's proposal. It was partly out of respect for Catherine's condition – Alice knew little about what might cause problems for a baby, but she wanted Catherine to have as tranquil a pregnancy as possible. Partly, too, because she had not yet recovered from the embarrassment of Grantham's harsh words about her family.
"Why are you putting all that finery on at this time of day?" the Dowager Duchess demanded of Catherine. Alice was grateful to see her attention turned away. "You young people, always swanning off at your soirees and your parties. Yesterday Lady Helena, and who is it today? Some other jumped-up nobody with a title not ten years old."
"Peace, Aunt," said Catherine. "Lady Helena was very kind to me when I first became Duchess. In fact, today we are not going to a party at all. The Duke and I are off to lend James a hand persuading his lady's father to accept his suit. As the father is a Duke himself, with high hopes for his daughter's marriage, Harry's influence should have some effect on him."
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