by Aya Ling
I grasp his hand and give him a firm handshake. “Thank you, Ashford. I know I can always rely on you. As for the rest…” I shrug. “There will be a way. If any of them had read the news concerning Moryn lately, they would have the good sense to change their mind.”
“Change what?” A middle-aged lady appears. With a twinge of displeasure, I recognize her as the dowager marquess of Sunderland, Lillie’s mother-in-law. Also known as a great lover of gossip.
Ashford coughs. “Politics, my lady.”
“Oh don’t let’s talk about that horrid subject tonight!” Lady Sunderland stops a passing waiter who is carrying a tray of drinks. “There you are. Both of you need to relax and enjoy yourself at this joyous event. Look how gorgeous the surroundings are. It was my idea to have the wedding on the boat. Isn’t it splendid?”
Ashford and I accept the glasses. To be honest, I never truly enjoyed the taste of alcohol, though there are occasions when I cannot refuse to participate. Such as this one. No guest can refuse the hostess.
“Your Highness,” Lady Sunderland says, her eyes gleaming. “I think I speak for everyone here that our sympathies are with you.” She presses a hand on my arm, and I have an urge to shake her off. “About what you are going through recently. It cannot be easy when you have only been together for one year.”
I have the opposite opinion. One year signifies that it is not long enough to form a serious attachment, and besides, there are no children. While reading up divorce cases, I had learned that children were the most problematic in court, when deciding who should take custody.
“If you say so,” I say blandly, hoping she’d get the hint I’ve no desire to disclose more about the divorce.
Unfortunately, Lady Sunderland seems blissfully ignorant about my unwillingness to discuss further. “I heard that you moved out of the palace and do not plan to return until the divorce is complete.”
“My lady…” Ashford begins, being the righteous gentleman he is. “Tonight is the celebration of the union of your son and Lady Maynard. I’m sure that talk of separation could be saved for another time.”
“Oh certainly,” she returns, smiling. “I apologize, Your Highness, but you know how the papers are. I couldn’t be sure how you felt about the matter until I talked to you about it. Fanny thought you might be heartbroken, as you used to favor Katriona Bradshaw, but apparently you do not regret the separation now. Indeed, we believe you could do better.”
I know she’s talking about Kat’s ‘unsuitability’ as princess, but I make myself pretend she is referring to Katriona. I give a brief nod. “Glad I have fulfilled your curiosity, Lady Sunderland. If you’ll excuse me, I haven’t yet offered my congratulations to the happy couple.”
“Do let me take you to them,” she quickly says. “This way, Your Highness.”
I do my best to contain my annoyance. I scan the guests, but there is no other I wish to converse with. Apart from Henry, I have no close friendship with other nobles. Most of the guests present do not require more than a brief nod and a few words.
As I expected, Lady Sunderland is in no hurry to take me to Lillie and her husband. Everyone is partaking the refreshments laid out in a sumptuous buffet. There cannot be a formal banquet before the wedding and the dancing that follows, in case of digestion problems, and as far as I can discern the layout of the boat, it would be a chore organizing a full dinner.
“Minnie!” Lady Sunderland raises her voice, and beckons to a young lady dressed in forget-me-not blue. “Your Highness, may I present my niece, Lady Minerva?”
There have been many cases I’ve been tempted to walk off on my own, but this time I make my feet stay glued to the floor, as it isn’t the proper/polite way to do things. This is perhaps the most trying time that my self-discipline is sorely tested. The divorce is not yet complete, and Lady Sunderland is already trying to introduce another woman to me. As if she didn’t know (an unlikely thing) or ignored the fact that I moved out with Kat. Apparently, no one believes I am serious about Kat—a commoner, a woman who has temporarily ‘bewitched’ me into leaving marriage.
The young lady blushes deeply and curtsies, her eyes on the floor. Somehow I believe she isn’t keen to meet me either. This is a rare occurrence, and for that I am thankful.
I manage a few courteous words with her. She stutters as she speaks—apparently she is too overcome with nervousness, and even Lady Sunderland senses this is not the perfect opportunity for us to be acquainted.
“Lady Minerva.” I incline my head. “My deepest apologies, but I have not yet a chance to greet the bride. She is a childhood friend of mine, and I have yet to give her my blessings.”
Relief appears on her face, and she curtsies again. I walk away; Lady Sunderland is comforting her niece and makes no move to follow me. Thank heavens.
Lillie is nowhere to be found. It is strange, since she is supposed to be the main attraction of this party. I look around for the husband—Sunderland is chatting with some friends—but before I can reach him, a servant hails me.
“Your Highness.” He bows. “Lady Maynard would like to meet you on the upper deck. She has a few questions about caring for the plant you gave her.”
“Lead the way.”
The stairs leading up to the deck ended in a locked door. The servant unlocks the door with a passive expression, as though he knew the door would be locked. I am surprised that Lillie did not let her guests enter the upper deck; surely the view would be even more desirable from the top of the boat.
Lillie is looking out at the river, her hands resting on the railing. Her hair is done up in a bun—the first time I have seen her with her hair up. It seems only years ago that she was a young, carefree girl, running around and chasing butterflies in the garden. I can comprehend how an elder brother feels when a younger sister is about to be married.
At the sound of my boots hitting the wooden floor, she turns and greets me with a radiant smile.
“Edward, I’ve been waiting for you.” She embraces me, her white silk gown rustling against my coat. After a few seconds, I gently disengage her arms and step away. I look around for the plant, but there is no sign of it. Perhaps she has it concealed in the cabin on the deck, lest the chilly night air affect the plant’s growth.
“Congratulations. Lillie, you have my best wishes on your marriage to Lord Sunderland.”
To my surprise, she rolls her eyes. “He is not my first choice. Mama practically forced me to marry him, since almost all eligible wealthy men were taken. If only I could have my Season sooner, things might have been different…” she trails off and looks down on the ground.
I frown. I do not see how it could have been different, but there is little point discussing her Season. Indeed, if Lillie wishes to continue her luxurious lifestyle as before, she has no choice but marry into wealth. Sunderland may also be aware that she chose him because of his position and possessions. I cannot help but think how fortunate I am that Kat genuinely cares for me as a person.
“Edward?” Lillie’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “Is it true you’re getting a divorce?”
“Yes.” My brief answer should be enough of a hint that I wish not to pursue more of this subject.
“Oh.” There is an eager look of anticipation in her eyes, as though she welcomes my divorce. “Pardon me if I’m prying, but you had seemed…attached to Katriona.”
Silence ensues. Lillie waits, anticipating that I provide the reason for desiring the separation, but I have no wish to humor her. Besides, it is much too complicated to explain.
“We should be returning downstairs,” I say abruptly, though what I wish to do is leave the boat and return to Kat. Lady Sunderland seems intent on making a second match for me, and I have had enough of such schemes. “I expect that most guests have arrived and the ceremony will be starting. You will need to get ready.”
Lillie grasps my elbow with trembling fingers. An expression of desperation and determination is diffused over her face. “When y
ou came to my sister’s house with Katriona, I forced myself to resign to the fact that she will be queen. But you are going to divorce her—you will be free to remarry. If only you can give me hope…I’ll march right back and tell Sunderland I won’t be marrying him.”
I wish I were in an unpleasant dream. I realize why she wants to meet me here without anyone present. It has nothing to do with the wedding gift. Lillie may have a stronger attachment for me since we grew up together, but to harbor hope when she is going to be married today… this is more shocking than I expected.
“Lillie,” I say gently. “I realize that you once felt more than friendship for me. But allow me be plain: I have never felt anything but brotherly affection for you. Cease this nonsense and let us return to the ceremony. Your husband is waiting.”
“The ceremony hasn’t even started.” There’s a wild, desperate look in her eyes as she stares up at me, as though she’d go into pieces if I refuse her. “It’s not too late…there’s still time. I don’t care how scandalous it is, as long as you say the word.”
I retreat a step. “Be reasonable, Lillie. There is no one I wish to marry except for the woman I have chosen.”
“The commoner you moved out with?” She says, her eyes flashing. There is an incredulous look on her face. “Edward, you cannot be serious! You cannot possibly want to marry a girl who is the granddaughter of a shopkeeper, who has no title to her name. It is ridiculous.”
“The only ridiculous thing is you, a newlywed woman, asking me to consider you as a consort.”
She looks stricken, as though I have slapped her on the face. Immediately I feel contrite; after all, she is not much older than the young girl I used to teach lessons on gardening. I open my mouth to apologize, but she holds up her hand.
“Very well, then. If that is what you insist, then I will honor your choice. Goodbye, Your Highness.”
She quits the greenhouse, and while I have a certain sense of relief, my heart aches for Kat. I have not yet announced my attention to marry her, and already everyone is treating her with such hostility. But I cannot change the fact that people have deeply-rooted beliefs of endogamy. How am I able to convince others of Kat’s merits, when her ideals differ so much from theirs? How am I to explain she did not seduce me while I was married to another? How am I to convince everyone that a princess need not have a title to her name?
35
Kat
I close my book, stretch my arms and yawn. Tonight Edward isn’t home. He usually dines with me every evening, and we always make the most of it, since we have to retire to our own rooms afterwards (he’s still adamant we can’t sleep together before re-marriage. Grr.). But as he has to attend Lillie’s wedding, I have to face an empty table. I had considered inviting Amelie and Bertram to dine with me, but to be honest, they cannot view me in the same way as Elle and Poppy. Even if I prefer that they see me as a friend, rather than a mistress, it doesn’t work that ideally.
Besides, Bertram would be much more at ease in the kitchen than in the dining room. It is for that reason that sometimes I order them not to prepare dinner. Instead, I roll up my sleeves and ask Amelie to help me in the kitchen. Dinner doesn’t have to be a fancy, elaborate affair. And it’s much more fun chatting and laughing with them, rather than sitting and waiting in my room. To be honest, I would prefer to live here with Edward, even after we’re married. Here I can enjoy a sense of freedom that is not afforded at the palace.
I sigh and head to the dresser. There is no sense in waiting for Edward, since we don’t share the same bedroom. I loosen the ribbons and fluff out my hair with a brush. There is one advantage of being single: I’m not required to wear my hair up, so I don’t have to worry about hair pins sticking into my scalp.
While life is far from unpleasant, there’s a sense of uneasiness in it. Like, the future remains uncertain. High Court is unlikely to grant Edward a divorce, and there's also the problem of the Royal Marriages Act. I am yet uncertain how the king and queen will think about me. Maybe the queen will be more understanding, but I’m sure that the king isn’t happy because Edward behaved in a scandalous manner, moving out and deserting his lawful wife. And I’m uneasy about what I saw in the city square that day, about Liam and his impassioned speech. Life in Athelia is more turbulent than the stability I enjoy in my own world. But it is a choice I would make every time. Being with Edward is worth everything.
There is a popping sound in the room. A sound that I haven’t heard of for a very long time. Krev hovers in the air, his wings flapping, and his large yellow eyes fixed on me with a solemn expression that is a stark contrast from when I first met him. Can this be the mischievous, fun-loving goblin I once knew?
“Hello, girlie,” he says, flying closer. “How are you doing now?”
“Way better since I got out of prison.”
His voice rises in a shriek. “You ended up in jail? What for?”
I tell him how I got caught by Bianca, and he shakes his head. “Glad that Eddie got you out in the end. Good thing he fell in love with you, or your life in this world would be much tougher.”
I can’t agree more. “How is Pippi doing? Is she okay?”
“She’s doing penance.” Krev lets out a sigh. “That’s part of the reason I came to check up on you. You see, Barthelius has decided that your coming here was a complete disaster that should be avoided in the future. Therefore, Pippi is trying to find all the remaining books in your world and destroy them, so that no one will come to Athelia again.”
Mom. Paige. This means I won’t be able to see them again. Okay, so I knew this was going to happen, but still...to hear that it’s absolute and irreversible, sadness overwhelms me all the same.
“So basically what you’re saying is that I can never return.”
He shrugs. “We did warn you, girlie, before you decided to leave your own world. You chose Edward.”
I look down on the ground. “I know. Besides, even if you didn’t think it necessary to destroy the passages and books, I won’t be able to survive in my own world, since I can’t breathe oxygen anymore.”
“Let’s just say that you’re like a mermaid from that weird story you humans created.” Krev sits cross-legged on the blanket. “You cannot survive on land. Just like you cannot live in both worlds.”
I prefer not to talk about this depressing subject anymore. He’s right. I have only one option; it must be either Edward or my family.
“How is it going on in your world ? How is the rebuilding process progressing so far?”
This time Krev gives me a toothy grin. “We’re recovering faster than expected. The fairies have been a great help. Without them, we couldn’t have improved so quickly. When our world is completely rebuilt, I’ll come and see you again.”
He vanishes, and I am left staring at thin air. I stare at my reflection in the mirror, and tell myself to get a grip. I am truly on my own in Athelia. There is no turning back now. I should forget what I have in modern world, and do my best to carve my life here in Athelia. After all, I made my choice.
There’s a sound of someone coming up the stairs and then a thud on my door. Maybe Edward got drunk and couldn’t find his way back? At the palace, there would be servants to assist him, but at Henry’s house, most likely he let himself in with a key so as not to wake the other servants.
I rise and open the door a crack, just in case. Yup, it’s my husband, his hair tousled and his tie askew, and his cheeks flushed red. It is very rare that I see him like this, as he is normally immaculately groomed. Not that he fusses a lot on his appearance and spends a lot of time in front of the mirror, but because of his strict upbringing and his nature to be strict with himself. And seeing Edward isn’t his normal self, signifies that something is wrong.
“Edward.” I reach out to him, dragging him into the room. There is a strong smell of alcohol reeking from him, making me alarmed. Edwards doesn’t like to drink, and when he does, he never gets drunk. At least not as bad as this. He’d
probably have a hangover tomorrow. “Are you all right? Did anything happen to you?”
His gaze locks on my face, and the next second, he slams the door and locks it. He pins me against the wall, his hands pressing my palms into the hard wood, and then he leans down and captures my lips, hungry and demanding.
“Kat,” he says, between kisses. “My Kat. What am I to do without you?”
I’m not sure how to respond when he isn’t in a clear state of mind, but I’m not to complain. I wrap my arms around his back and kiss him back passionately. There’s a ripping sound as he tears the back of my dress, causing several buttons to pop off and fall onto the floor. The sound must have surprised him, because he stops and backs away from me.
“Oh dear,” he says, retreating a step. “I apologize, Kat. I shouldn’t have got too carried away.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I tell him. “Edward, I don’t care about my reputation. I want you as well. You’re not the only one who’s holding back.”
“But I care,” he says fiercely. “You don’t know how it’s like out there, at the party. Already, there are people trying to throw their daughters at me because they think I am unattached. They ignore the fact that I’ve moved out with you, or I’ve made it clear I intend to marry you. They don’t take you seriously. And Kat, it’s not much different with the public either. Only our closest friends understand how much you matter to me. No matter what I do, they won’t understand that the woman I want is you. Only you.”
I nod, unable to find words adequate to respond to his passionate statement. Edward stares at me as if I’m the only woman in Athelia. I could crumble at the longing in his gaze. At the same time, I realize that my conversation with Krev doesn’t matter anymore. Edward’s love for me runs so deep that it makes up for everything I’ve lost.
36
