by Debra Kayn
"Yeah, I get it," Cam said.
"You hold it together." Merk lowered his voice. "I've got two months until I'm out of here. Together, we will make sure the chain continues and your family is safe. You have my word."
Cam nodded. "I'll take care of it and when you get out, we'll be stronger."
Merk's brows pitched. "Fucking deal. I should've saved Half-Rack. That's on my back. I stood back and let those fuckers take him out, because I need out of here, man."
"You had to protect yourself. The men need you on the outside. Half-rack knew what he risked when he volunteered to go inside. We'd all go down for the club." Cam's spine straightened. "I need to get out of here and get back to the house."
"Yeah." Merk stood.
"Hey." Cam stood and stared into Merk's eyes. "Promise me, if something happens to me, you protect my family."
"On my life, man." Merk dipped his chin and turned toward the guard.
Cam watched him leave through the door. The other door behind him swished open and Pretaro came inside. He walked out without saying a word to the guard who worked both sides. His thoughts went from Christina to the chain to Moroad MC. He had to figure out how to protect them all without losing any more members.
Outside, he broke out in a cold sweat. He ran his forearm over his forehead. Fucking Half-rack. He'd sworn that he'd make it out alive and he could handle going inside one more time.
Cam got on his motorcycle and cruised toward the highway. He had eight hours to come up with a way to keep Reds off their back. Eight hours to make sure Christina understood he was tightening down and putting a guard on her twenty-four/seven. Eight hours to make sure Jeremy stepped up and thought like a Moroad.
Eight hours to make fucking sense of Red's message, because he didn't have a fucking clue.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Cam turned and his leg buckled. Christina grabbed his arm to steady him. Most of the time, his swagger became a part of him she hardly noticed, but she never forgot how he'd received the injury. Then there were those times, like right now, when he'd gone forty-eight straight hours without sleeping that he failed to hide his limp.
"You need to rest." Christina leaned into his side. "You're going to do more harm than good."
"When Jeremy comes in the house, remind him to do maintenance on his motorcycle," Cam said, ignoring her.
Christina exhaled, knowing she wouldn't have to remind him. Jeremy babied the bike and spent every free minute tinkering on it. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, and Cam obviously knew what would interest Jeremy when he handed down his old motorcycle.
"Won't you be here to tell him yourself?" she asked.
His gaze snapped to hers. "He listens better to you."
"Cam..." She stopped, because nothing she'd said since she found out from Stache that Cam had made an emergency run to the state penitentiary had made any impression on Cam. He walked around as if he was blind and deaf to her.
Cam reached out and grabbed her hand, softening his touch. "I've got a lot on my mind, baby."
"Obviously." She held his rough, broad hand in both of hers and kissed his knuckles. "I wish I could help. You can't keep going without any sleep."
He hooked her neck with his other hand and brought her to his chest. "Things are bad."
"In what way?" She clung to him, because Cam never seemed out of control or unable to handle any problem that came his way.
He tipped his head and gazed up at the ceiling. She waited for him to speak, because any pressure from her and he'd clam up.
He lowered his chin to his chest and looked at her. "Pressure against the club."
"Dangerous pressure?" she asked.
He kissed her upturned lips. "I'm getting a handle on it, but yeah...it's not good."
"Cam, if I can help, I will. I hate to see you stressed out." She slipped her hands around his waist and squeezed. "It also scares me when you shut me out."
The door banged open. Jeremy skidded to a stop at the sight of Cam and Christina in each other's arms. She stepped back, but Cam tugged her closer.
"Hey, don't leave." Christina motioned Jeremy over. "Your dad wants to talk with you."
Cam's body hardened. She looked up into his face and raised her brows, urging him to speak with Jeremy. Cam set his mouth in a straight line. The hard eyes, the non-verbal response saddened her. There were times she witnessed Jeremy bloom under the attention of his dad. If only Cam could become consistent with his parenting, it'd go a long way toward bonding for the two of them.
She pulled on a smile for Jeremy's sake. "Your dad's tired. He's been up for two days."
"Don't make excuses for him." Jeremy sneered.
"Watch your mouth when you speak to her, kid." Cam moved forward.
Christina planted her hand in the middle of Cam's chest, holding him from going to Jeremy. "He is tired."
"Whatever," Jeremy muttered, turning around to head back outside.
"Wait." Christina thrust her hands into her hair and sighed. "He wants you to do maintenance on your bike."
"That's it?" Jeremy shrugged. "I do it every day."
"I want it done now. If you've done it already, do it again. Tonight's run is too important for you to overlook something." Cam walked over to the window and shut himself off from both of them.
Christina fought against rolling her eyes. It wouldn't do Jeremy any service to see her disrespect his father. She was losing her patience with the both of them.
"From now on, I don't want either of you to go into town," Cam said.
"What?" Jeremy walked into the room. "That's not fair. It's summer."
Cam's shoulders broadened and he swung his gaze to his son. Christina moved over to Jeremy. While Cam hadn't shared his reasons, his behavior the last couple of days warned her not to fight him on his newest decision.
"It's probably only for a few days," she whispered to Jeremy. "Let's all try to get along and it'll go fast."
Jeremy stepped around her. "Is the ride still on for tonight or are you kicking me out of the club?"
"The ride's still on." Cam faced his son. "It's time to control your attitude. You want to make a difference in your life, then take all that emotion and use it to be smart and to keep your ass safe. You're riding tonight, and I want your head only on what needs to be done. Understand?"
Jeremy nodded. "Yeah."
Christina swallowed. While she would have encouraged Jeremy in a more polite way, she couldn't argue Cam got Jeremy's full attention. She never understood how men seemed to understand each other better when they were yelling or fighting.
"I'm serious about both of you staying at the house. Jeremy, you can go outside when you want, but keep your head up and your eyes open. You see anything out of the ordinary, you get back inside." Cam turned to Christina. "You don't step foot out the door."
"Okay...this is too much." Her chest squeezed the air out of her lungs and she inhaled sharply to speak her mind. "If I'm in danger, Jeremy should stay inside too."
"The kid can take care of himself." Cam stared at her. "There will be guards on you around the clock."
She gulped, breaking out in goosebumps. His orders sounded exactly like the ones he gave her when he'd kidnapped her.
"Can you at least tell me why this time?" She folded her arms to hide the way her hands shook at the thought of going back to being completely under Cam's control.
Cam limped back over to the window and propped his hip on the edge of the television stand. "I got a message when I was visiting Merk at the prison. Until I know what the threat means, I'm taking no chances."
"Let me help." Jeremy sat down on the couch. "I mean, I don't get all the club talk, but maybe you're too close to the problem to see what's bothering you."
Cam ran his hand over his face. "I'll figure it out, kid."
"I think Jeremy's right." Christina sat down on the couch, supporting Jeremy's need to belong and feel important. "What was the message?"
Cam's mouth
tightened and he walked over and sat on the coffee table. She wanted to reach out and support him, but gave him time to think over Jeremy's offer. Cam couldn't go much longer without sleep or he'd break. He had a ride tonight, and the thought of him controlling a heavy motorcycle while exhausted worried her.
She scooted to the edge of the couch. "I'll let you two discuss—"
"No. Stay." Cam grimaced. "I'm not going to discuss anything about what is going on, except the message. I've tried several ways to decipher it, and it's making even less sense."
"What?" Jeremy leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees.
"The message is 'Not flesh of my flesh, an eye for an eye'." Cam shook his head. "I get an eye for an eye, and that's why I've put you both on lockdown. I don't know what the fuck 'not flesh of my flesh' means."
Christina pressed her hand to her throat. Her heart pounded against her chest. Someone wanted to kill Cam, because he killed someone. Even she could figure out the meaning without knowing what it all meant.
He'd killed two men, for her. Two members of Reds, who she'd figured out didn't like Moroad MC for some reason.
She caught Cam's gaze. He nodded, putting a stop to her question about whether this had to do with the two men Cam killed after they shot out the tire on the truck and used her to draw Cam to them.
For weeks, she'd jumped anytime someone knocked on the door, thinking the police had come to make Cam pay for the crime he'd committed. Somewhere along the way, she'd stopped thinking about what had happened. She chewed her lip in worry. There were too many little things she chose to ignore. Her stomach cramped and she curled forward, hugging her middle. For all Cam's reasons and yes, excuses, for how he lived his life without regrets, she couldn't erase any of his illegal activities.
"Sounds like some zombie movie...not flesh of my flesh." Jeremy grinned.
Cam returned the grin. "That's the closest I could come to guessing what it means, too."
"Wait." Jeremy hand came up and he stood. "I've heard that before."
"Zombies?" Christina asked.
"No." Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck, frowning down at the floor. "Not flesh..."
Jeremy paced the side of the living room. Cam watched him carefully, while Christina studied Cam. What if Jeremy figured it out? Would he be in more danger?
"Cam?" Christina grabbed his attention. "I think Jeremy should stay home tonight."
Cam pushed to his feet. "He's going on the run. The club needs him."
Nervous energy took her to her feet and she joined Cam and Jeremy. A slight pressure pounded in her temple. It was past dinnertime, and they all had to eat.
"I got it," Jeremy said, pointing at Christina. "Th-the picture, quote thing...at your office. Your old office, I mean. It was hanging in the room where I was told to sit and wait for our meetings."
"The waiting room?" she asked.
"Yeah, yeah." Jeremy bobbed his head thinking. "I can't remember all of what the picture said on it, but it has that not flesh of my flesh part, not...something, something, but...something, something my own. That's it. It's the saying on that picture."
"I know what you're talking about. It's an adoption creed. I've read it numerous times. I can't believe I didn't think of that." Christina smiled. "Good job, Jeremy."
"Do you know the whole saying?" Cam grabbed her arms. "Think. It's important."
She ran through the words in her head, least she disappoint him. "Yeah, I know it. It goes... Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own."
"What the hell does that mean?" Cam dropped his arms to the side and stepped back.
"It means, adoptive parents don't care if their child has the same blood, the same DNA as them, because they love the child they adopted as if he or she were their own flesh and blood child that they conceived naturally," she said. "But why would someone send you that part of a quote along with an eye for an eye, which is a punishment?"
"I don't know." Cam checked his phone. "It's getting late."
She waited for Cam to look at her, but he tapped at the phone and ignored her. "I'll make a quick dinner, so you two can eat before you head out."
Escaping into the kitchen, she took out the salad from last night and three frozen hamburger patties. As she set the meat in the pan and turned on the stove, she kept repeating the message given to Cam.
Not flesh of my flesh, an eye for an eye. She frowned. Jeremy was right, it did sound like something you'd find in a zombie movie.
The hamburger sizzled. She pressed the spatula down against the meat to keep the edges from curling. Jeremy's smart memory came through and he'd helped his dad. The relief on his face knowing the quote had brought Jeremy out of his bad mood. A little positive reinforcement went a long way with a teenager hungry for approval.
She flipped the burgers. An adoption creed and a death threat. It didn't make—
"Shit," she mumbled, dropping the spatula on the counter and hurrying into the other room.
Cam stood by Jeremy, talking in low tones. She used his body to stop her body from propelling forward in her rush.
"Whoa..." Cam grabbed her arms. "What's wrong?"
"It's a death threat against me." She hung on his vest. "That's what the person was trying to tell you. He thinks I still work at the county office, and he proved that knowledge by mentioning the picture that hangs on the wall outside my old office. He's going to hurt me, because I was there the day you killed those two men. He's telling you he's going to retaliate, and I'm the one that's going to die. An eye for an eye."
"Nobody is going to touch you," Cam said, gripping her shoulders. "No one."
"You can't promise that," she said, her voice rising.
Cam pulled her into his embrace and spoke over her head. "Jeremy, go finish cooking dinner for her and eat. We're leaving as soon as you fill your stomach."
Jeremy said, "Is she going to be all right?"
"Yeah, kid. I'll make sure she's okay." Cam led Christina into the bedroom.
Cam pushed her down onto the bed. She grabbed onto him, not wanting him to leave her. "Please don't go tonight. Please."
"Nothing is going to happen to you inside the house. I'm leaving two men outside. No one will get past them." He smoothed her hair out of her face. "It's just a message. We can't know what they're going to try, and as long as you're here, you're safe."
She shook her head, not wanting him to touch her. "What if it's not me they're going to kill? They could be after you. They'll get you back for killing those two men. They're only using me, so they can kill you. You can't leave. Stay in the house. Let the others go, but you and Jeremy need to stay here."
"I'm going."
She pushed at his shoulders and he stood, letting her off the bed. Frantic to stop him, she searched the room. She swatted the pillows, looking underneath. Clammy and chilled, she panicked. The pistol wasn't there. She clamped her lips together and muffled her scream of frustration.
"What are you looking for?"
"My gun," she said, rushing to the dresser where her purse sat.
"What are you planning on doing?"
"I'm going to shoot you." She spilled the contents of her purse, still unable to find the pistol. "What do you think I'm going to do? You try and protect everyone but yourself, and I'm tired of you thinking your life isn't worth anything to anyone else."
"The gun is in the foyer, on the stand, right where you put it earlier." Cam heaved a sigh.
She stopped her desperate search and glared. "I'll stop you from going out."
His chin dipped and his gaze intensified. She planted her hands on her hips. His overbearing attitude was not going to stop her from keeping him home.
"I'm trying to make our relationship work. I really am." She squeezed her eyes closed, took a breath to calm down, and opened her eyes again. "I know how you live, and I see the side of you who gives me a home and is trying to have a relationship with your son. I get a part of you that I feel you don't s
how anyone else and I hold on to that gift so tightly, it hurts. Yet, there needs to be some give and take, Cam. You can't always get your way. Your choices aren't always right. If something happens it's going to hurt Jeremy."
"Baby..."
"Damn you." She screamed on a sob. "It's going to kill me to lose you."
His cheek flinched and he continued to stare at her. She waited for him to acknowledge her needs. Her head ached and her heart cried for him to stop his impractical need to protect everyone, but himself.
"Aren't you going to say something?" she whispered, choking on her tears. "Please, Cam. Just this once. Please, please listen to me."
"Every time I step out that door to go on a run, I'm making your life better. I'm buying you security. I'm gaining more time with you." Cam's gaze broke away from hers. "I'm putting a roof over Jeremy's head and giving him a woman who can bring softness and rightness into his life. That's something no one ever did for me."
"Then both of you stay home," she said. "Do it for me."
He straightened and looked her in the eye. "There are things I've started that I need to keep moving forward. Tonight, when Jeremy figured out the message, I understood what needed to be done."
"How are you going to stop them from killing me?" she said, her voice breaking.
He stepped in front of her. "It's not you they're going to go after."
"Okay. Then, if it's you, how're you going to stop them?"
"There are things you don't know," he whispered. "I can't talk about it yet."
She tapped her fist against his chest. "About what?"
"Jeremy," he said.
She rolled back on her heels at the news and shook her head. "What about him?"
"Not tonight. Someday I'll tell you, but the run comes first." He backed away, closing himself off again.
"Cam." She grabbed him. "What about Jeremy?"
He pulled away from her and walked out into the living room. She followed, wanting to keep asking him until he finally gave in and answered her.
"Let's go, kid," Cam yelled in the foyer.
Cam stopped at the door, turned, and gazed at her. She shook her head. Numbness came over her. She wouldn't stop him, because he'd never give her what she wanted. No matter how much she begged, cried, and fought with him.
