But isn’t that what was said before, thousands of years ago when the first Othians rebelled? Evetherey will take you to a time that predates even that. A time before life even existed on this planet.
Which only begs the question… Is all of time nothing but a great loop? Wayfarist doctrine implies that humans came into this world from a “place beyond time.” Sounds like being lost in the Sphere to me.
See? It’s just a big circle. In generations, the stories of our exploits will become legend. Then scripture, I’ll wager. Why else would Gloristar and Portsend find their names in the same verse? And why would the word Ardor appear so many times, ultimately driving me to do the very things I did?
I hope you’ll grant me that one last arrogance. It’s something you won’t have to put up with any longer. I’m going to change. I’m going to be a better man.
I’ve been thinking of that night often—The night I became a Paladin Visitant and returned to our time with a fertilized dragon egg. I wonder how things might have turned out differently if I’d listened to you then. If I hadn’t sent the egg into the palace to rescue Raek and lure out Pethredote.
I still see your face sometimes, pleading with me not to risk the egg for vengeance. But I didn’t listen. I fired my Roller into the air to alert the Regulators of the egg’s position. Those same shots sent you away, and no matter how hard I’ve tried, I understand that there’s no getting you back.
And that’s okay. You deserve someone better. Someone kinder. Someone who is able to see your complexities and appreciate your passions—not just as a supplement to his own, but as an independent entity with no limitations or restrictions. As much as I wanted to be that man, I found myself sorely lacking.
By now, you’ve probably thumbed through this journal to see how longwinded I’m going to be. Yes, I filled every page. When you finish reading this foreword, I won’t be offended if you toss this book. But if you choose to read on, you can consider this an official letter of apology, like the ones I wrote for the queen when I accepted her pardon. Only, I’m not expecting a pardon from you, Quarrah. More than anything, I’m writing this to clear my conscience. To acknowledge my vast shortcomings and misbehaviors over the years.
You know I was always swept away by the job. My need to outthink and outplan everyone was like dragonfire consuming the forest of my soul. But I only ever bit off what I knew I could chew. I only ever tackled the enemies I knew would go down.
So you see, it was all planned. There never was a single word that could change the world. Words are my favorite weapons, and yet I knew all along that there was nothing I could say to get the Glassminds to turn on each other.
Curiosity changes minds. It has the power to drive people to do things. Why do you need to know what treasures are hiding on the other side of a locked door? Why did I ruse my way into all kinds of situations?
Curiosity.
And if it’s such a driving force for flawed humans like you and me, imagine what effect it might have on an enhanced, perfected mind. I know that the best chance I have of dividing the Glassminds is by piquing their curiosity. But in order for this to happen, I know I need to die. Could there be anything more powerful than a man’s final words?
I went to Lyndel last night and negotiated the terms of my execution. It really is the only way. The Trothians will get their justice for my crimes, the Glassminds will erode into disunity, and Evetherey will be able to capture them in the Visitant cloud so the survivors can exit and restart all of time from the beginning.
But there is one more ruse you don’t know about. I thought it up on my way back from Sunden Springs. I found something there in the absence of my parents. I found another person living my life. A different version of my life. And as I sat on the hill between the headstones of my mother and father, my own fate became terribly clear to me.
Still, it doesn’t make it easy to say goodbye.
But what is “goodbye” when all of time and space has been perfected in a single Sphere? If all goes according to plan, Evetherey will exchange the lives of the Glassminds for our meager group of survivors, and I have asked her to net a few more of Centrum’s people than necessary. Once she has them, she will scan through alternate timelines until she finds a near-identical version of a few friends we lost along the way. I’ve given her the names and she can bring them back to life—Shad Agaul, Lomaya Vans, Prime Isless Gloristar, Portsend Wal, Isle Halavend…
But not me.
And therein lies my final ruse. Unfortunately, I’ll be dead, so I’m counting on Evetherey to carry it out for me. I have asked her to sift through the timelines to find a version of Ardor Benn that is better. A version that didn’t fire those shots into the empty night. Assuming there is one—and with an infinite number of possibilities, I’m surely hoping I’m not always an idiot—Evetherey has agreed to bring my alternate into the new world under a cloud of Stasis Grit.
I see no reason why he should ever wake up if you don’t wish to meet him. But if you do, I told Evetherey to keep him buried at the foothills of the western mountains. She will keep the Stasis Grit burning over my alternate body for a year, which I hope will be enough time for you to decide. Of course, when the Grit runs out, New Ard will suffocate… and supposedly, he’s a really nice guy, so I don’t think you want that on your conscience.
All jesting aside, there would be no death in that. Because, technically, he was never supposed to exist in the Material Time. The choice is yours, Quarrah, but I’m hoping you’ll give him a chance.
One more thing… We can’t have Raek running around with a cracked glass skull and sparking fingertips, so I told Evetherey to swap him for the old Raek. He’ll get an upgrade, though, because she’ll pick a version of him that didn’t get stabbed through the heart. And for all our sakes, I’m hoping he gets a better-looking face.
Evetherey’s going to keep this book well guarded and locked securely away. I figure that’ll draw you and Raek right to it. And if you thought it was hard to get this book, wait until you see what traps and safeguards Evetherey placed around my alternate body. I’m sure you and Raek are itching for a challenge, so…
Quarrah read the last line aloud.
“Come steal me.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The first inklings of a magic system based on dragon dung came to me as a teenage boy (sounds about right, huh?). It wasn’t until some fifteen years later that I found a character who I felt was capable of pulling off such an unusual magic system.
I recorded and dictated most of Nemery’s chapters while hiking the mountains of northern Utah. Pekal felt very real and majestic at times, and I could almost see the dragons through the aspen trees.
Big thanks to my family—my wife and two boys who live with a man every bit as intense and driven as Ard. Thanks to my parents and siblings and nieces and nephews for their huge support in my writing career.
As always, thanks to my dedicated agent, Ammi-Joan Paquette, for her support in this project. I’d like to thank my editor, Bradley Englert, and the great team at Orbit. Thanks to Lauren Panepinto for the art direction, Ben Zweifel for the amazing cover art, and Serena Malyon for the map.
And thank YOU, reader! I loved writing this trilogy and the characters meant a lot to me. Linear time is valuable and I’m grateful for every minute you spent reading my books!
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Photo Credit: Jamie Younker
TYLER WHITESIDES is the author of the bestselling children’s series Janitors and The Wishmakers. The Thousand Deaths of Ardor Benn was his adult debut. When he’s not writing, Tyler enjoys playing percussion, hiking, fly-fishing, cooking, and theater. He lives in the mountains of northern Utah with his wife and two sons.
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By Tyler Whitesides
KINGDOM OF GRIT
The Thousand Deaths of Ardor Benn
The Shattered Realm of Ardor Benn
The Last Lies of Ardor Benn
The Last Lies of Ardor Benn Page 65
