CHAPTER XXXVI. The Glory and the Dream
|ON the morning when the final results of all the examinations were to beposted on the bulletin board at Queen's, Anne and Jane walked down thestreet together. Jane was smiling and happy; examinations were overand she was comfortably sure she had made a pass at least; furtherconsiderations troubled Jane not at all; she had no soaring ambitionsand consequently was not affected with the unrest attendant thereon. Forwe pay a price for everything we get or take in this world; and althoughambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won, butexact their dues of work and self-denial, anxiety and discouragement.Anne was pale and quiet; in ten more minutes she would know who hadwon the medal and who the Avery. Beyond those ten minutes there did notseem, just then, to be anything worth being called Time.
"Of course you'll win one of them anyhow," said Jane, who couldn'tunderstand how the faculty could be so unfair as to order it otherwise.
"I have not hope of the Avery," said Anne. "Everybody says Emily Claywill win it. And I'm not going to march up to that bulletin board andlook at it before everybody. I haven't the moral courage. I'm goingstraight to the girls' dressing room. You must read the announcementsand then come and tell me, Jane. And I implore you in the name of ourold friendship to do it as quickly as possible. If I have failed justsay so, without trying to break it gently; and whatever you do _don't_sympathize with me. Promise me this, Jane."
Jane promised solemnly; but, as it happened, there was no necessity forsuch a promise. When they went up the entrance steps of Queen's theyfound the hall full of boys who were carrying Gilbert Blythe around ontheir shoulders and yelling at the tops of their voices, "Hurrah forBlythe, Medalist!"
For a moment Anne felt one sickening pang of defeat and disappointment.So she had failed and Gilbert had won! Well, Matthew would be sorry--hehad been so sure she would win.
And then!
Somebody called out:
"Three cheers for Miss Shirley, winner of the Avery!"
"Oh, Anne," gasped Jane, as they fled to the girls' dressing room amidhearty cheers. "Oh, Anne I'm so proud! Isn't it splendid?"
And then the girls were around them and Anne was the center of alaughing, congratulating group. Her shoulders were thumped and her handsshaken vigorously. She was pushed and pulled and hugged and among it allshe managed to whisper to Jane:
"Oh, won't Matthew and Marilla be pleased! I must write the news homeright away."
Commencement was the next important happening. The exercises were heldin the big assembly hall of the Academy. Addresses were given, essaysread, songs sung, the public award of diplomas, prizes and medals made.
Matthew and Marilla were there, with eyes and ears for only one studenton the platform--a tall girl in pale green, with faintly flushedcheeks and starry eyes, who read the best essay and was pointed out andwhispered about as the Avery winner.
"Reckon you're glad we kept her, Marilla?" whispered Matthew, speakingfor the first time since he had entered the hall, when Anne had finishedher essay.
"It's not the first time I've been glad," retorted Marilla. "You do liketo rub things in, Matthew Cuthbert."
Miss Barry, who was sitting behind them, leaned forward and pokedMarilla in the back with her parasol.
"Aren't you proud of that Anne-girl? I am," she said.
Anne went home to Avonlea with Matthew and Marilla that evening. She hadnot been home since April and she felt that she could not wait anotherday. The apple blossoms were out and the world was fresh and young.Diana was at Green Gables to meet her. In her own white room, whereMarilla had set a flowering house rose on the window sill, Anne lookedabout her and drew a long breath of happiness.
"Oh, Diana, it's so good to be back again. It's so good to see thosepointed firs coming out against the pink sky--and that white orchard andthe old Snow Queen. Isn't the breath of the mint delicious? And that tearose--why, it's a song and a hope and a prayer all in one. And it's _good_to see you again, Diana!"
"I thought you liked that Stella Maynard better than me," saidDiana reproachfully. "Josie Pye told me you did. Josie said you were_infatuated_ with her."
Anne laughed and pelted Diana with the faded "June lilies" of herbouquet.
"Stella Maynard is the dearest girl in the world except one and you arethat one, Diana," she said. "I love you more than ever--and I've so manythings to tell you. But just now I feel as if it were joy enough to sithere and look at you. I'm tired, I think--tired of being studious andambitious. I mean to spend at least two hours tomorrow lying out in theorchard grass, thinking of absolutely nothing."
"You've done splendidly, Anne. I suppose you won't be teaching now thatyou've won the Avery?"
"No. I'm going to Redmond in September. Doesn't it seem wonderful? I'llhave a brand new stock of ambition laid in by that time after threeglorious, golden months of vacation. Jane and Ruby are going to teach.Isn't it splendid to think we all got through even to Moody Spurgeon andJosie Pye?"
"The Newbridge trustees have offered Jane their school already," saidDiana. "Gilbert Blythe is going to teach, too. He has to. His fathercan't afford to send him to college next year, after all, so he meansto earn his own way through. I expect he'll get the school here if MissAmes decides to leave."
Anne felt a queer little sensation of dismayed surprise. She had notknown this; she had expected that Gilbert would be going to Redmondalso. What would she do without their inspiring rivalry? Would notwork, even at a coeducational college with a real degree in prospect, berather flat without her friend the enemy?
The next morning at breakfast it suddenly struck Anne that Matthew wasnot looking well. Surely he was much grayer than he had been a yearbefore.
"Marilla," she said hesitatingly when he had gone out, "is Matthew quitewell?"
"No, he isn't," said Marilla in a troubled tone. "He's had some realbad spells with his heart this spring and he won't spare himself a mite.I've been real worried about him, but he's some better this while backand we've got a good hired man, so I'm hoping he'll kind of rest andpick up. Maybe he will now you're home. You always cheer him up."
Anne leaned across the table and took Marilla's face in her hands.
"You are not looking as well yourself as I'd like to see you, Marilla.You look tired. I'm afraid you've been working too hard. You must takea rest, now that I'm home. I'm just going to take this one day off tovisit all the dear old spots and hunt up my old dreams, and then it willbe your turn to be lazy while I do the work."
Marilla smiled affectionately at her girl.
"It's not the work--it's my head. I've got a pain so often now--behindmy eyes. Doctor Spencer's been fussing with glasses, but they don't dome any good. There is a distinguished oculist coming to the Island thelast of June and the doctor says I must see him. I guess I'll have to.I can't read or sew with any comfort now. Well, Anne, you've done realwell at Queen's I must say. To take First Class License in one year andwin the Avery scholarship--well, well, Mrs. Lynde says pride goes beforea fall and she doesn't believe in the higher education of women at all;she says it unfits them for woman's true sphere. I don't believe a wordof it. Speaking of Rachel reminds me--did you hear anything about theAbbey Bank lately, Anne?"
"I heard it was shaky," answered Anne. "Why?"
"That is what Rachel said. She was up here one day last week and saidthere was some talk about it. Matthew felt real worried. All we havesaved is in that bank--every penny. I wanted Matthew to put it in theSavings Bank in the first place, but old Mr. Abbey was a great friend offather's and he'd always banked with him. Matthew said any bank with himat the head of it was good enough for anybody."
"I think he has only been its nominal head for many years," saidAnne. "He is a very old man; his nephews are really at the head of theinstitution."
"Well, when Rachel told us that, I wanted Matthew to draw our moneyright out and he said he'd think of it. But Mr. Russell told himyesterday that the bank was all right."
Anne had her good da
y in the companionship of the outdoor world. Shenever forgot that day; it was so bright and golden and fair, so freefrom shadow and so lavish of blossom. Anne spent some of its rich hoursin the orchard; she went to the Dryad's Bubble and Willowmere and VioletVale; she called at the manse and had a satisfying talk with Mrs. Allan;and finally in the evening she went with Matthew for the cows, throughLovers' Lane to the back pasture. The woods were all gloried throughwith sunset and the warm splendor of it streamed down through the hillgaps in the west. Matthew walked slowly with bent head; Anne, tall anderect, suited her springing step to his.
"You've been working too hard today, Matthew," she said reproachfully."Why won't you take things easier?"
"Well now, I can't seem to," said Matthew, as he opened the yard gateto let the cows through. "It's only that I'm getting old, Anne, and keepforgetting it. Well, well, I've always worked pretty hard and I'd ratherdrop in harness."
"If I had been the boy you sent for," said Anne wistfully, "I'd be ableto help you so much now and spare you in a hundred ways. I could find itin my heart to wish I had been, just for that."
"Well now, I'd rather have you than a dozen boys, Anne," said Matthewpatting her hand. "Just mind you that--rather than a dozen boys. Wellnow, I guess it wasn't a boy that took the Avery scholarship, was it? Itwas a girl--my girl--my girl that I'm proud of."
He smiled his shy smile at her as he went into the yard. Anne took thememory of it with her when she went to her room that night and sat for along while at her open window, thinking of the past and dreaming of thefuture. Outside the Snow Queen was mistily white in the moonshine;the frogs were singing in the marsh beyond Orchard Slope. Anne alwaysremembered the silvery, peaceful beauty and fragrant calm of that night.It was the last night before sorrow touched her life; and no life isever quite the same again when once that cold, sanctifying touch hasbeen laid upon it.
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