Anne gave up. She didn’t wish to make Brett uncomfortable. She wanted the exact opposite, actually. She sighed again. “Fine, Brett. You don’t have to tell me.”
He recognized the disgruntlement in her voice. “Didn’t he tell you how he felt before he left?” Brett sounded hopeful.
Anne waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, he said all the things men think they’re supposed to say. But how do I know he meant them?”
Freddy spoke up as he stroked his hand over the top of her foot and then around her ankle to knead her calf. It felt so good Anne groaned. “He meant them, Anne. I can hear it in his letters. I can tell he cared for you deeply.”
Again Anne waved dismissively. They simply didn’t understand. “Of course he cared for me. I’ve never questioned that. But you see, I believe Bertie felt the same way about me that I felt about him. And I wanted to know if I was right.”
Brett shook his head, obviously confused. “What do you mean?”
Anne stretched her arms over her head and arched her back. It felt good. In spite of the soft blanket and thick grass, the ground was hard. But she also knew that it pressed her breasts up against the low neckline of her gown until the mounds were near to bursting out. This conversation was important, but she hadn’t forgotten that she was determined to seduce the two of them today. Freddy’s hand paused on her calf and his grip tightened. Beside her she heard Brett catch his breath. She slowly relaxed the stretch, bringing her hands down to lie across her stomach. She raised the knee of the leg that Freddy was not holding, hoping her skirt was hiked up enough to give him a view of her ankles and lower legs, perhaps even more. The thought made her breath catch and her sex clenched once before she felt it swell and flood. In the next instant Freddy’s hand traveled up to her knee, pushing her skirt up as he went. He stopped when he reached her garter. Anne chanced a glance down and saw him watching her with sharp, intense eyes. When she made no protest he slid his fingers under the garter and started to pull it down. Anne licked her lip and then bit it, and a flush spread across Freddy’s cheeks.
“I loved Bertie very much,” Anne said softly. “He was my best friend. But I was never in love with him.”
Anne’s statement shocked both men. She could see it in their faces.
“Anne!” Brett gasped.
Anne shook her head. “That’s just the way it was. I think we drifted into our engagement because it was easy. I…I had sex with Bertie because I was curious and young, and he was safe. And when he insisted on marriage, I let him, for the same reasons. I believe Bertie was influenced not only by his behavior but the fact that he was leaving. He was scared, and he wanted to make sure someone here missed him, someone was waiting for him.” Anne sighed. She was afraid she’d ruined the day, but there was something inside her that said it was important to tell them this before things went any farther.
She rose onto her hands again. Freddy hadn’t let go of her leg. That was a good sign. But beside her she could feel the tension radiating off Brett. “When he returned I was going to tell Bertie that I couldn’t marry him. But I didn’t want to tell him while he was over there. I think I knew how important our relationship was to him while he was on the peninsula. But I also knew that if I married him, we would both regret it eventually. I had already seen too many marriages entered into without love that later dissolved into hate. I didn’t want that for us.” Anne shook her head. “No, I was never going to marry Bertie. And in the end, he knew that.”
Freddy resumed what he’d been doing, removing her garter matter-of-factly and then pulling her stocking off. Brett stiffened beside her when he noticed but otherwise gave no indication he’d seen it. “How do you know that he knew that?” Freddy asked as he reached for her other leg.
Anne lifted the leg and gave it to him as she tilted her head. He pulled the stocking off that leg as well. “In his last few letters he alluded to it. He told me that he wanted me to be happy, no matter what that took. That he would always think of me as his best friend, very like he thought of Brett.”
Brett jerked next to her, as if startled. “He talked about me in his letters?”
Anne couldn’t help it. She laughed. “Of course! His letters were full of Brett this, and Brett that. Why do you think I feel as if I know you?” Anne reached out and put her hand on Brett’s where it rested on the ground. “You were so good to him, Brett. You were his rock. I would have worried more about him if you hadn’t been there to take care of him.”
Brett flinched and Anne furrowed her brow in consternation. Why did that upset him? With an inner sigh Anne remembered their conversation that first day, when Brett had told her it should have been him.
“I don’t blame you, Brett,” she told him softly, squeezing his hand. “I told you that. I really don’t. Things happen. Good, wonderful people die. That is life. We can’t blame ourselves. Don’t blame yourself.”
Brett shook his head, saying nothing as he gazed out over the pond. His jaw was tight, but he turned his hand and squeezed Anne’s back.
“So because you and Bertie were not in love, you don’t think the sex was good?” Freddy asked conversationally.
She chuckled darkly and Brett’s grasp tightened. He immediately let go as if burned. Anne determined that he was interested, but he needed a little persuading before he gave in. It seemed as if Freddy was up to the task.
“Not at all,” Anne purred. She felt like rolling around on the two of them, rubbing their scent all over her. She loved this feeling. She loved everything about sex, and she knew that with these two men it would be better than anything she had ever experienced. “I’ve had enough sex to know that what Bertie and I did was very good.”
“What?” Brett barked, scandalized.
Anne gave him an arched brow. “Have you forgotten how we met? I was practically begging you to fuck me, Brett, without even knowing who you were.” She got a little annoyed. “Do you think women don’t get lonely? Did you think I’d have sex with Bertie, good sex, and then be content to wither away without the touch of a man ever again?” She shook her head. “I’m not like that. I crave it. I enjoy sex. There, I’ve said it. I’ve only ever had it with strangers, besides Bertie. Perhaps that’s why sex with Bertie was better than anything I’ve had since. Perhaps sex with men who I know and am attracted to will always be better.” She looked at him. “What is your experience?”
“I…I do not know,” Brett whispered. He seemed reluctantly fascinated with the conversation.
Anne nodded. “Then you’ve only had sex with strangers too?”
Brett nodded, not even bothering to speak. Anne’s heart ached for him. She ached to be the one to show him the difference, to show him what sex could be between people who cared for one another.
“I have had sex with someone I know, a friend,” Freddy said softly. He was running his hand up and down Anne’s bare leg. He pushed her dress up and over her knee and it bunched in her lap, exposing her thighs. Freddy gently ran his hand over her knee and caressed the top of her thigh. Anne didn’t try to hold back her little whimper. God, his hands felt good. She’s imagined his hands on her just like this. His long, elegant fingers and smooth palm gliding along her leg. She shivered at the sensation and he stopped for a moment to grasp her thigh in acknowledgement, then he resumed his caresses. “The sex was better. It was sweeter, slower. It meant something.”
That got Brett’s attention. “Who?” The question burst out of him, and he immediately looked as if he’d like to take it back.
“Simon,” Freddy murmured, running his index finger down to the crease where Anne’s leg met her hip. She shivered again, at the implication of his words and at his touch. Freddy had had sex with a man. At least, she assumed Simon was a man.
“Simon?” Brett exclaimed. “You had sex with Simon? When?” He was angry, which Anne found interesting. Were they lovers then? Freddy’s next comment answered the question.
“Several months ago. When I began to realize that no matter how m
uch I wanted you, you were not going to take me to bed.”
Brett started to rise, but Anne instinctively reached out a hand to stop him. Just as she’d known it was important to tell them about her true feelings for Bertie, she knew this conversation was just as important.
Brett’s body was rigid with displeasure. “So because I respected your youth and inexperience, you leapt into bed with a man who has fucked half of London.”
Freddy sighed and stopped rubbing Anne’s thigh. She missed his touch but said nothing. This exchange was too fascinating.
“Hardly leapt. You claimed I was too young and you didn’t want to corrupt me. So I thought I’d see what exactly you were afraid of.” Freddy looked at Brett impatiently. “And Simon is a friend. Do not speak ill of him.” Freddy’s lips twitched. “Although if the truth were known, he’s probably had more than half of London since he does not discriminate between men and women when it comes to lovers.”
Brett was still upset. “Clearly you do not either. Because you are hoping to fuck Anne, aren’t you? Isn’t that what this is leading up to?”
Anne was thrilled with his outburst. Now that it was out in the open, she wanted to take the lead and run with it. Before she could say anything, however, Freddy answered Brett. “Yes, I am, and so are you, if you aren’t too afraid to admit it.”
Anne spun to look at Brett. He stared between them, his mouth moving but no words coming out. To Anne, that looked like a yes. She smiled.
Freddy stood up suddenly. Anne wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but she trusted that he was going in the right direction to give them all what they wanted.
“Don’t you want to know?” he asked softly with a knowing little smile. “Don’t you want to know what it was like with Simon?”
God, yes, Anne wanted to know. She’d never thought much about men having sex. She wasn’t entirely sure what that entailed, actually. Did they simply take each other in their mouths? Anne had done that a time or two, and didn’t especially care for it. But again, they were strangers. Would she have liked it with Bertie? Would she like it with Freddy and Brett? The thought of tasting these two had her mouth watering.
“I want to know,” she told Freddy honestly. The look he gave her was as approving as it was amused.
“God,” Brett muttered as he rested his forehead in his palm.
“I think that means he wants to know too,” Anne told Freddy helpfully with a little grin.
Freddy laughed. “As I said, it was better, sweeter. I knew Simon was concerned with my enjoyment, my pleasure. And he made sure that I did enjoy it. Very much. It was powerful and exciting.” He stared at Brett. “But for all that, I only did it once. Because Simon was not the man I wanted to have sex with.”
“Christ.” Brett was staring back at Freddy.
Anne became wary. “Does that mean that I am only to be a once-in-a-lifetime encounter as well? Because I have had enough of them. I am ready for more.” With a start she realized it was true. She wanted more with Freddy and Brett. Today was only the beginning. For the first time in her life she wanted more than the thrill of a quick, illicit encounter. She was realistic enough to realize that there could be no real future here with either man, but they could have more than this afternoon, surely. They could be together as long as Freddy and Brett were here. For the first time Anne wanted a lover, or lovers, and not merely a fuck.
“No, Anne,” Freddy told her gently, laying a hand on her cheek. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have you once and walk away. You are a woman to be savored again and again. And I shall, if you’ll let me.”
Anne felt foolishly weak at his praise. She smiled tremulously. “You are a rake, Freddy. You know just what to say to make my knees weak.”
Anne looked over at Brett who was watching their exchange intently. She couldn’t read his mood. Was he still angry over Freddy and this Simon person? How did he feel about what they were proposing? Did he understand what they wanted? Of course he did, how could he not know how much both Freddy and Anne wanted him? Before she could say anything further, Freddy smiled cheerfully.
“I do believe that I am in the mood for a swim. It has grown rather warm.” Freddy began to unbutton his jacket. “Anne? Would you care for a swim?” His smile turned mischievous.
Anne had already learned that when Freddy smiled like that, it usually meant he was up to something. She laughed aloud. She stood and turned her back, presenting Freddy with the row of buttons along the back of her dress. “I would love a swim. As you both know, I am fond of a dip here now and then.”
Freddy began to unbutton her dress as he snorted with laughter. “A dip, hmm? I think that can be arranged.”
“Really?” Anne teased. “Because I’ve heard the duke is rather strict about that sort of thing.”
“I’ve heard the same thing,” Freddy responded seriously. He finished unbuttoning her dress and pushed it down over her shoulders as he leaned in to whisper loudly in her ear. “He insists that beautiful women swim naked here as often as possible.”
Anne giggled like a young girl. “Well, I can take care of that today, but my schedule is full tomorrow.”
Her insides were dancing with nerves and excitement. She wanted Freddy and there was no doubt in her mind she would have him today. But she wanted Brett to be a part of it this first time, to join in their fun. All the talk of Bertie and what must seem like a betrayal of sorts to poor Brett…she just wanted to make him forget all of that. She wanted him to lose himself in her body, in the joy of a man and a woman…and, er, another man, coming together. She almost giggled again.
She was too nervous to look over at Brett. He hadn’t gotten up and walked away. She took that as a good sign.
Behind her she heard Freddy splash as he entered the pond. A chill chased down her spine, ending in a tingle between her legs. He was naked. Naked. Just the thought made her breath catch and her stomach clench. She hadn’t realized she’d been standing there clutching her dress to her chest. She forced her fingers to unfold and then let go. The dress slipped down and caught on her hips. Anne gave a wiggle and it came loose and fell to pool around her feet. Her heart was pounding. She had never been completely naked in front of a man before. Not even Bertie. No, wait. She’d been naked in front of Brett and Freddy a week ago, here at the pond. For some reason that made her more nervous. What if she wasn’t what they remembered?
Anne sternly rebuked herself. A man did not soon forget a naked woman who emerged from a pond dripping wet and slapped him silly. Both men had shown in many ways the past week that they wanted her. In Brett’s case, reluctantly. But she was old enough to recognize desire when she encountered it. They desired her. So she needed to stop being so foolish and get naked. Right now. Anne took a deep breath and unlaced her chemise. She reached down and drew it over her head, letting it flutter from her fingers before she dropped it on the ground next to her.
Beside her she heard Brett rasp as he sucked in a breath. She had worn nothing but her chemise. She hadn’t bothered with petticoats today because she had been planning on this all along. Feeling surer of herself, she slowly bent over and ran her hands from her ankles up to her hips. She heard Freddy mutter something behind her that sounded like “Good God.”
Head held high, Anne turned toward the pond. She still couldn’t look directly at Brett, but she caught a glimpse of a hot, intense gaze that made her blush from her head to her toes. Her gaze collided with Freddy’s as he stood in the pond, the water coming up to his hips.
Freddy looked ready to leap out of the water and devour her. She had an alarming euphoria coursing through her veins, feeling a little like a mouse before two hawks. She took a moment to catch her breath and looked, really looked, at Freddy. He was going to be her lover. God, the thought made her stumble a little. He was so tall, his chest and arms leanly muscled, tight but not youthful. No, he was a man now, in every way. She remembered what he’d said, that he had had sex with a man. Instead of repulsing her, it arous
ed Anne inexplicably. She saw Freddy’s nipples peak on his chest. They were surrounded by a fine layer of auburn hair, pale pink crested coins in the middle of his well-defined pectoral muscles, and she wanted to lap at them and nibble them to see if they tasted as good as they looked. She gasped at her wayward thoughts and her gaze flew up to meet Freddy’s amused one.
“Come, Anne,” he urged her, holding out his hand invitingly. “Come and join me.”
How could she say no? She walked slowly into the water, the lapping of the warm water against her calves, thighs and stomach a wanton caress hinting at things to come.
Brett held his breath as he watched Anne walk to Freddy in the water. She was so beautiful. Her skin was pearly white, creamy and luscious, every inch of her. Her dark hair was still piled on top of her head, and he’d glimpsed the patch of thick dark curls between her legs as she’d turned to the water. She’d been blushing furiously for all her bravado. Anne may think she was experienced, but that blush said more than words. Brett wanted to hold her tight and reassure her even as he drove his cock inside her and watched her come apart in his arms.
Brett let his gaze wander to Freddy. He’d seen Freddy naked before, but for some reason today he was different. Brett saw him differently. What was it? Brett ran his hand through his hair and was angry to feel it trembling. This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? Freddy and Anne together? Brett rolled to his feet intent on leaving them to their play. He slid his eyes to the side for one last look and he realized what it was, why Freddy looked different to him. Because Freddy was no longer the inexperienced boy he’d imagined him. He’d fucked Simon, and he’d liked it. He wanted Brett, and he knew exactly what he was asking for. Brett trembled anew. All that stood between him and Freddy now was Brett’s guilt.
Freddy watched him with those all-too-perceptive, gorgeous blue eyes. Brett had never told him how much he loved those eyes. Brett had never told him a lot of things. And now he never would. Anne was still walking toward Freddy, toward that outstretched hand, and in Brett’s imagination that hand was reaching toward him as well. With a heavy heart he turned away.
Brothers In Arms 05: Retreat From Love Page 11
