The Sacrifice

by Nhys Glover

  "Airsha..." A concerned voice from above me drew my attention from the foul mess in front of me. "Are you all right?"

  I looked up to see a pair of dark amber eyes staring down at me. There was concern in those eyes. My gaze drifted to Jaron's hands, red and dripping with blood. Bile rose again and, mortified, I heaved again.

  The youngest brother reached for me, but realised at the last minute the state of his hands and drew back.

  "Haven't you ever seen a beastling butchered before?" he asked in bemusement.

  I shook my head and stepped away from the mess, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand.

  "We have to remove the innards as quickly as possible or they'll taint the meat. We hang it up like that to drain the blood. Then we skin and dress the meat. Those two daublers will give us meat for a half a moon'."

  I nodded again, really not wanting to hear how they turned a living creature into meat I would eat. Because I would eat it, even knowing where it had come from. I may never have seen the preparation of the food I consumed, but I was not totally ignorant about how it all happened. A roasted beastling, complete with head, sometimes appeared on our food tables. It was considered quite a treat by the harem women. Also, I passed by the outdoor kitchen often enough on my explorations and had seen large slabs of meat being carved up for cooking. I had even seen a daubler turning on a spit over the huge fireplace. The smell had been divine.

  "W... Will you put them on spits over a fire?" I asked, trying to show my knowledge, what there was of it.

  "Not usually. But we've more meat than normal, and more people to feed than usual. One carcass could be cooked up in celebration of your arrival," Jaron said slowly, as he considered what must have been a novel thought.

  "I do not think anyone wants to celebrate my arrival. I think it may be the very opposite of celebration."

  Arms behind his back, Jaron nudged me with his body, the way a wadja would. I had been given one of the little beastlings as a child and had loved it with all my heart. It would nudge me with its body in just this way when it wanted a caress.

  I automatically lifted a hand and stroked the untidy mess of brown hair. It had a slight curl in it, and I wrapped one such curl around my finger, not allowing myself to look up and meet Jaron's gaze again.

  "You're wrong," he breathed, loud enough only for me to hear. "You're the most beautiful creature any of us have ever seen. Even filthy and tattered, we saw it. We've been four men alone for too long. Maybe you can soften our harsh edges for us."

  I glanced up and briefly met his gaze before looking away again. "You only say that because you are hoping to see some of my skin," I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

  Jaron gave a good-natured bark of amusement. "You caught me. I've already been appreciating those toned calves of yours."

  I was properly covered by the two thin tunics, but they only came to just below the knee, which left my bare feet and calves visible. Fighting the urge to crouch down and use the tunic to cover them, I instead stood tall. I was no longer a princess who lived in a harem. I no longer had to stay hidden away from men's eyes.

  Jaron fell forward as he was nudged from behind. Calun had appeared and was scowling silently at him.

  "All right, brother, I know. I've a job to do. Wasting time talking to pretty girls won't get the meat dressed." Jaron sigh and pulled an exaggerated pout, turning away to return to the barn and his work.

  Calun watched him go before looking back at me and giving me a questioning smile. The mess I had made was in plain sight.

  "I did not handle seeing you dressing those beastlings. I did not know there was so much... gore inside them."

  He pointed with a bloody hand to his own stomach.

  "No, we do not have that inside us. Do we?" It seemed I was learning something new every moment.

  Calun nodded and laughed silently.

  "Hey, Calun, no wasting time with the pretty girl. Back to work!" Jaron yelled sarcastically.

  Calun raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Turning away from me, he jogged back to his task.

  I could not stay and watch them, nor could I go back to the house. Though it was still blazing hot, the sun only just starting to edge toward the flat horizon, I wandered over to the yard where the airlings grazed.

  There were mayhap twenty of the beastlings in the field. Only the two that had been so recently ridden were grazing close by. At my approach they lifted their great pointed muzzles and stared at me with liquid blue eyes the exact colour of the sky. Momentary wariness gave way to acceptance and both airlings hopped over to me.

  Amazed, I tentatively reached out and stroked the broad forehead of the closest one. Its short fur was soft brown and shining. The second airling nudged its companion aside so that I could pet it. I laughed softly and did just that. This one was a darker shade and there was a patch of light coloured fur around its small, pointy ears.

  "They don't usually take to strangers like that," Darkin said from behind me, coming to stand at my side.

  One of the airlings moved its attention to him and he stroked its forehead gently. For a long time we stood like that, in companionable silence, stroking the heads of the big creatures who seemed to be blissfully dozing.

  "You're a princess of Godslund, aren't you?" he finally said.

  I knew I could not hide the truth anymore. I was not sure I wanted to.

  "I am."

  "Did you run away because they were going to... take away your magic?"

  "Castrate me, you mean?" I did not want to talk around the truth.

  "Is that truly what they do?"

  I nodded. "Yes. My best friend and beloved sister died from the procedure. She was only thirteen suncycles old. You see, our magic, if we have any, appears as we reach adulthood. It is fed by our... our sexual pleasure. So they make sure a girl can never feel sexual pleasure. That way her power is controlled."

  "Was your magic late in coming?"

  I shook my head again. "No. But it arrived not long after Mina died. I think the horror and fear from her experience helped me to keep mine hidden. And air is not as noticeable as fire."

  He reached across and stroked an escaped tendril of hair back from my face. The airling he had been petting wandered away.

  "So why did you run away? And how did you manage it? I thought there was no way in or out of the harem, except at the Godling's command."

  "Servants bring us food. We are not completely cut off from the world. And my brother and I found other ways to escape. Ways only a child or small person like me could use." I avoided answering the first question but Darkin was relentless.

  "Why did you run away from a life of plenty? You risked your life to escape." He sounded exasperated, as if he genuinely couldn't understand why someone like me, with all the blessings I had been given, would throw it all away.

  "Because that life of plenty was to end. My father needed a way to win back the favour of the gods. I was to be that way. They required the ultimate sacrifice. The favourite daughter."

  "Sacrifice? I... I don't understand."

  That surprised me and I glanced his way to see if he really did not know. His dark blue eyes were troubled and bemused. He did not know.

  "Sometimes the gods require a sign of loyalty. A price that must be paid, if you will, for their continued support. So that magical sons can continue to serve the kinglunds. That price is the life of a loved one. My father sacrificed four of my sisters before he was forced to choose me, his favourite."

  "Sacrificed? As in human sacrifice?" His eyes were wide with horror.

  "I thought it was common knowledge. The wagoners I travelled with seemed to know about it, and spoke disparagingly of it."

  Darkin shook his head. "Maybe others knew about it, but I didn't. We grew up here in the Badlunds and only spent eight suncycles as airling troopers for Godslund. We came home to train airlings one and a half suncycles ago. Even when we lived in the Godslund we didn't mix with the others. I suppose that
meant we didn't hear the gossip."

  "But you heard about castration." I meant to make it a question but it came out as a statement, letting him know I had heard his conversation with Rama earlier.

  "I'm sorry about Rama. But I've warned him. And I'll protect you from him, or either of the others, if they step out of line. Not that Calun would. But Jaron might."

  "I am not as innocent as most harem women. I know how men think, and how they talk about women. I know what men do to women for pleasure. And I can defend myself... You do not have to protect me."

  "How do you know such things? Godslund doesn't train women to fight. And definitely not princesses. "

  I gave a little laugh. "Definitely not princesses. But I had a twin brother who looked so much like me that I could dress as a boy and people would take me for him. When he was taken to the barracks to train I would often change places with him. He did not like to fight. I did. But he became afraid I might be discovered. No, he was scared that he might be discovered letting me take his place, and so I had to stop. But I still went to the arena and watched from the shadows. I have a very good memory. I can watch something being done and then mimic it almost perfectly. I have to practice it to make it automatic, though. But I would do that in my own quarters, imagining in my head that I was sparring with a partner. I never knew if my skills were real until today." I paused and thought about that last statement. "It was only this morning that you took me from the wagoners, wasn't it?"

  "Aye, just this morning. But it seems a lot longer because so much has happened in that time. It feels as if you've been with us for a moon', at least."

  I grinned. "A lot has happened."

  "So, back to your escape. You found out you were to be sacrificed to the gods by your father and ran away, hiding in a wagon. Surely they would've come looking for you as soon as they discovered you missing."

  "What day is it?" I asked, trying to work out the closeness of the summer solstice.

  "The solstice is two days from now."

  I nodded. "That sounds right. So I really was in that wagon for five days. I thought it would only take two to reach the coast. The wagon had brought fish to Godslund. I thought that meant they were from one of the sealunds."

  "The wagoners make the run across the full breadth of the kinglunds. They go from the sealunds, sell off some of their goods at Godslund, buy up more goods and head for Highlund, selling what they can along the way to lighten the load. They then reverse the journey."

  Again I nodded. "I think I provided myself with at least a day or more of leeway before I would have been noticed missing. I had taken to hiding out in my room, supposedly trying to come to terms with my fate. Mother would have left me alone as long as possible. I had asked that of her. But once my absence was discovered they would have started their search. I am not sure if they would have thought to check wagons. They would probably have thought that I had escaped on foot. Mayhap taken a boat across the lake. Hidden in the township. It would have taken a while to explore all the easiest options."

  I took his hand between both of mine. "No one would have thought twice about a runaway boy found hiding in a wagon. But tearing my tunic... revealing my gender. It will only take one person to hear about a missing princess to start them wondering. It might be safer for you to... to take me far away from here. If my father finds out you are hiding me, you will pay."

  Darkin brought his other hand to sandwich one of mine with both of his, the way I had done to him. "You heard what I said to Rama. I'm drawn to you in a way I've never been drawn to another woman. Your spirit calls to me; inspires me. I can't explain it. But as much as I want you, I also need to protect you. I could as soon turn my back on my brothers as cast you out to fend for yourself. No matter how well you can protect yourself." He added the last sentence with a smile.

  "Your brothers may not agree. Rama certainly does not."

  "Didn't you hear him? Whatever draws me to you is drawing him, too. Maybe more fiercely than it does me. He may complain about your presence here, but he'd fight to the death to keep you, now you've burrowed under his shell. Trust me on this. I know my brother well."

  "You call each other brother, but none of you look alike. Did you have different mothers?"

  "Different fathers."

  I looked at him in surprise. "Your mother had her own harem?"

  Darkin laughed so loudly the airlings spooked and hopped away. I still did not know why they did not fly away.

  "Harem? No... Our mother was a whore. A well-educated whore, but a whore, nonetheless. My father died when I was a baby and Ma had no way to feed herself or me, so she started taking men to her bed for money. That didn't work out as well as she hoped because those men gave her more mouths to feed. I once asked her why she didn't protect herself, as the whores who worked for the Gambler did. She said, since the gods gave her lives to protect and love, she would never try to deny them." He stared out over the paddock, but I knew he was not seeing the airlings or the yellowing grass.

  "I used to listen to her crying when she thought none of us could hear her. I know she hated what she did. But she had no family she could go to for help. So she did what she had to."

  "What happened to her?" I asked so softly I did not think he had heard me.

  "One of the men she brought home decided he wanted more than just sex. He wanted to hurt her. By the time Rama smashed a water jug over his head the bastard had killed her. While I held her lifeless body, Rama finished him off. There was blood and gore everywhere. I should've let him intervene earlier. It was my fault she died."

  He had spoken without emotion, as if relaying a story told to him long ago.

  "How old were you?" I asked.

  He looked skyward, as if trying to remember, or work it out. "I was fifteen, Rama was a big fourteen. Calun twelve and Jaron eleven. There'd been other babies after Jaron, but all of them had died at birth because... I imagine it was because she just didn't eat enough to sustain them. If we ate every second day we were lucky. Ma ate even less often. I had to make her eat sometimes."

  "What happened to you then?"

  "They called us the Airluds because we were wild, fatherless troublemakers who rode wild airlings and spoke a little better than most. Calling us luds was like Rama calling you Princess. We were as far from royalty as anyone could get.

  "When they found out we'd killed the bastard, because we all claimed that victory, even if it was Rama who carried out the justice, we should've been put to death. We have a rough kind of justice out here in the Badlunds, though those in the kinglunds don't believe it. Before we were to be hung a general from Godslund sent for us.

  "Troopers who could ride airlings were hard to come by. Even if the airlings could be tamed enough to ride, they would only let certain people ride them. Our reputation had spread all the way to Godslund. Four boys who rode wild airlings was like... like a legend. " He laughed at himself and rubbed at his forehead in a way I was coming to realise was his method of dealing with emotions that taxed him.

  "So you joined our army and rode our airlings, even though you were still not fully grown?"

  "We did. We acted as scouts. Rode the borders looking for unrest. All we had to do was have good eyes. No one expected us to fight. And we were happy enough with our new life. At least we were given three meals a day and a roof over our heads."

  "Then the Clifflings shot Rama down and you were told to leave him. You went against orders and rescued him. And they cut your hair and banished you for it," I finished the story for him.

  It was his turn to stare at me in surprise. "How'd you know that?"

  I grinned. "You were used as a cautionary tale. What happens to soldiers who do something unmanly. And worse, go against orders."

  "Godslunders are crazy bastards. Their attitudes made us sick. That's why we kept to ourselves. Unmanly to help a comrade? A man must always stand on his own feet? What godsshite was that?"

  I gave a little laugh. "I thought it was just m
e who felt like that − the crazy daughter who always went against what everyone else knew to be truth. If they said black I would say white, on principle. I was legendary, too."

  He gave a little laugh. "Oh, yes, I think I heard the legend of the contrary princess who wore her gowns on backwards and said the very opposite of everyone else."

  I knew he was teasing me and I went along with it. "So my fame spread as far as the airling stables did it? I am very impressed."

  At that moment Jaron approached, his hands thankfully free of blood and his arms loaded down with firewood.

  "What're you up to?" Darkin asked in amusement.

  "We're having a celebration for our new arrival. We're roasting one of the daublers over a spit. If I start it now it should be ready just after sunset."

  "We shouldn't waste that amount of meat. Cooked meat is harder to keep."

  Jaron threw up his hands. "When was the last time we had a treat and really ate our fill? We brought down two large daublers, thanks to the airlings. Let's just make the most of it. We have some spirits, you brought in fresh greens, Calun'll play his flute and Rama'll sing while we dance with the beautiful lady. Loosen up a little Darkin. Not everything has to be hard work all the time."

  I could see Jaron was determined to make me feel welcome. And I knew Darkin wanted me here. Calun too, in his gentle way, as he would be the first to collect wounded animals or strays, I imagined. Rama was the only one who did not want me to stay. I did not care what Darkin said, I knew how the scarred brother felt about me. I fed his unleashed beastling. He wanted to stay as far from me as possible.

  But the other brothers were not going to let him have his way, and I was already feeling like I had found a place to hide, at least for a while. In a few mooncycles I would move on and start my new life. Until then I would try to make all the brothers glad to have me around. I would learn to cook, I would repair their clothes and mayhap make new ones. I would wash their clothes and keep their hovel clean. I would make sure they never regretted taking me in.