by Nhys Glover
I was going to have it finished by the time I came back. In fact, I included a thin roll of cloth I'd found in one of the trunks, too. I had discovered it before our midday meal, when I was scavenging for scraps to use as patching. If there was time, I'd try to make a tunic, mayhap two, from the fabric.
"Come on," Jaron said, throwing his much larger bag over his meaty shoulder. Together we raced for the paddock where an airling was already seated, waiting for us. Rama took my satchel and Jaron's bag and put them into leather packs on the airling's back. I had seen these packs before. They were strapped to the beastling's shoulders and sat behind the rider, but not too far back that it unbalanced the creature when it tried to fly.
With a tearful glance at each of the men I was leaving behind, I let Jaron haul me up in front of him. I had not expected to be flying again so soon, and memories of our earlier ride must have transmitted themselves to Calun, because he put a comforting hand on my knee.
"Behave," Darkin told Jaron as the airling rose to its feet.
"Always, brother. We'll hear from you soon, I hope."
"Please do not take any risks for me. If it gets bad, tell them where I am. Please. I would rather face my fate than see you harmed."
The three men looking up at me shook their heads in unison, their teeth gritted. I knew that look. Stubborn men!
"You don't know us very well yet, if you think we'd turn you over to them," Jaron said into my ear as his black airling began hopping in readiness for flight.
With one mighty beat of its wings, the airling took off. I felt the exhilaration as the wind beat at my cheeks. I had a surfeit of power already, so the wind did not nourish me, but it still filled me with joy. Even though my heart was heavy with grief at leaving my men, and fear over what might happen to them while we were gone, I felt joy.
We rode through the heat of the afternoon toward the mountains in the distance. With each flap of the huge leather wings, we grew closer and closer to them, until we were finally climbing up the side of a sheer cliff face and landing precisely on a jutting ledge close to the top.
Jaron dismounted. Shakily, I slid into Jaron's waiting arms and tried to keep my legs under me. There was no suggestive slide down the length of his body. Jaron was all business. He removed the pack from the airling and it immediately flew away. I wanted to cry at the sight of its fast-disappearing shape.
"Will it come back for us? What if it does not? Will we be trapped here? What if we run out of food?" My mind was racing. I could not seem to stop it.
Jaron patted my shoulder awkwardly. He seemed to have lost his flirty playfulness. "Calun'll send Blackie to us when the time's right. Whether with a note and fresh supplies, or alone, to take us home. We've got food for a few days. That should be enough time for troopers to come and go, if they're coming."
"And the summer solstice to pass. I think my father will sacrifice one of my sisters if he cannot have me."
Jaron shook his head in bemusement. "What kind of man does that? His own daughters? He should be willing to give up his own life to protect his daughters, not offer them up to the gods so he can keep his power."
I agreed with him, but felt the urge to speak up in father's defence. "It is not just to protect his position. If he does not get the favour of the gods back, the world will go to war. It is the way of the kinglunds. Many people will die as they fight to take his place."
"You kinglunders are crazy. You know that, right?" Jaron scoffed, throwing his bag and my satchel over his shoulders. He strode off toward the cave mouth.
"There should still be firewood from when we were here over a suncycle ago. That's if no one's found the place, that is. But that's unlikely. If the Clifflings hadn't found this cave before we did, they won't have done it since."
I nodded at the back of his head, knowing he could not see me. My heart jumped into my throat as we entered the cave mouth and descended into darkness.
"Don't be scared. It's not far to the pool. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hold on to my tunic if the darkness disorientates you."
"I am used to moving through darkness. Do not worry about me."
Just as promised, and how I had seen it in my head already, we soon reached the sunlit pool. It was even more beautiful than it had appeared in Calun's memory. Rays of sunshine poured down through the small hole in the cavern roof with the waterfall, which was no more than a few hand-spans wide. A rainbow arced overhead in the spray. There must have been an overflow rivulet because the pool seemed to stay at the same height even with new water pouring into it. The soft lap of the water echoed in the chamber. Greenery was everywhere, glistening with spray.
"Nice, huh?" Jaron said, trying to recapture his usual chipper mood. He had been sombre since agreeing to take on this mission.
"Magnificent!" I gushed, rushing to the water's edge and putting my hand into it. The water was cool, but not as chilled as I would have expected. And the cave was steamy warm, but not nearly as hot as outside.
"Can we bathe in it?" I asked.
"Can you swim?" he asked instead of answering.
I shook my head. "We had a dipping pool in the harem, but it was only waist deep."
"Well, that water comes to my shoulders, if I remember rightly, which will be over your head. So you'll need to hold onto me if you go in. I can teach you to swim, if you like. I taught myself while we were waiting for Rama to heal well enough to get him down off the mountain."
"You taught yourself?" I was impressed.
Jaron puffed out his chest a little. "It's not hard, and I didn't have much else to occupy my time. I liked to float on my back and look up at the sky through the hole up there."
I imagined what it would be like to float in so much water. Though we always had more than enough water to meet our needs, I had never seen more than what filled our small dipping pool, which was about a third of the size of this pool, and not as deep. Knowledge that a huge lake lay just beyond the palace had always filled me a deep yearning to see it. Yet another way I had been pinned.
The idea of being surrounded by so much water thrilled me, even though it was not as great a thrill as flying. Nothing but sexual release was as thrilling as flying.
I took a closer look at my surroundings. The cavern was about the size of the common area of the harem, in other words, big enough to fit forty wives and as many childlings into it with comfort. The pool occupied the back half of the cavern and where we stood there were rocks, plants, an old fire-pit, a stack of wood and piles of dry grass roughly shaped into pallets. Two entrances, other than the one through which we had arrived, led off from the cavern: one close to the pool and to the left; the other midway between the centre exit − the one we had used − and the other side of the pool.
"That one follows the run off for about a hundred strides. We used it as our privy because it carried away ... well, what a privy takes care of. This tunnel," he pointed at the other tunnel entrance, "leads to a dead end a few strides along. It'd make a great storeroom, if we'd anything to store."
I looked at the floor beneath us. It was irregular stone, as if some giant had chipped away at it without bothering to finish it. Walking would require great care if I did not want to end up tripping and falling flat on my face.
"The water's fine to drink, though probably better from the waterfall if we start using the pond to bathe in. Are you thirsty? Hungry? It'll be sundown in a few 'turns. Once it is, we either light the fire or we put up with the dark until the moon rises. Some moonlight gets in here, enough to negotiate the cavern, anyway."
The long ride had tired me out, but I was not sure I would be able to sleep, worried as I was for the others. But eating was good. I seemed to always need to eat, now food was so scarce.
"I'll be keeping the meat cool in the pool. It's wrapped in a waterproof covering. I brought some root vegetables we can boil up, too, and the leaves of that vine over there are quite tasty. We actually lived off them for days while we were here. Juicy an
d sweet. I took a cutting home with us, but it died. I guess it needs the right environment to survive."
I sat down on a rock beside the cold fire and stared at the charred remains of the Airluds' previous stay here. The time when Rama was wounded so badly they could not move him. When his nightmares were even worse. I knew, without them telling me, that they had worried he would not survive. May even still worry.
"How did you do it?" I asked. " How did you save him and get him up here?"
Jaron sprawled across the stone floor at my side and leaned his head against my knee. Though I knew it was a bad idea, I found myself stroking his hair, just as I would have stroked my wadja. I had missed that little beastling when it disappeared.
"We were making a routine inspection of the roads that lead to Highlund. Travellers are regularly attacked by Clifflings there. So we'd check them and keep our eyes on the Clifflings activities. We knew where the Cliffling settlements were, and from the air we could keep track of their movements. Warn travellers of danger, that sort o' thing.
"That day it was just Rama and me. They were hiding behind an outcrop of rocks and fired on us with arrows. Rama's airling was hit and went down, Rama along with it. I couldn't get in close enough to see if he was all right, because of the arrows. But I thought I saw him running away, with Clifflings close on his heels.
"I wanted to do something then and there. But I couldn't work out how. In the end, I flew back to our base, which was on the very edge of Godslund, to get help. It took me a full day to get there. Another, before Darkin and Calun arrived back at base." Jaron took several deep breaths, as he sought to steady his voice.
The pain and regret was painful to listen to. Part of me wanted to tell him to stop, to forget about those bad memories and think on happier times. But another part needed to understand such a pivotal moment in the brothers' lives. As pivotal as their mother's death had been. So I sat quietly, waiting for him to go on. And he did, even if it was to digress slightly before attacking the issues again.
"The airlings can communicate over great distances, that's how they can join the larger flocks when the grass in an area is enough to support them all. So the airlings knew one of their number had been shot down with his rider. Darkin decided to come back to base to make sure we were all right. Unbeknownst to his commanding officer, of course.
"I'd been trying to get someone to take notice of me for a full day before Darkin took over. But they wouldn't even listen to him. Not only wouldn't those bastards give us men to help us rescue Rama, they weren't prepared to let us go, either. They locked us up, and it took us nearly a quarter of a moon' to escape. When we did, we took all the airlings with us so we couldn't be followed.
"I infiltrated three different Cliffling settlements before I found the one where they were holding Rama. By then they'd had him for a half moon'. We went in after him. How Clifflings got their hands on metal bars and doors with locks, I don't know. They're more primitive than than us Badlunders, and that's saying something. But that was where they were keeping Rama − behind bars and a locked cell door. We killed a couple of guards on duty but neither of those had the key, so I picked the lock and we got Rama out of there.
"He couldn't walk. Gods' balls, he wasn't even conscious. There was so much blood I nearly lost my last meal. At the cave entrance I went ahead and created a diversion so Darkin and Calun could get Rama away."
He fell silent once more, lost in memories. I tried to imagine what it would be like to find a loved one battered and bloody like that. What the fear must have been like, knowing they too could end up behind bars, tortured, if they did not succeed in getting away. So much seemed to have fallen on the youngest brother, with his street urchin skills and clever tongue. He must be a bit of a chameleon if he could infiltrate a settlement and go undetected. I knew what that was like. I had been hiding in shadows for years, moving undetected or unchallenged in places I was not meant to be.
"I assume you used those lock-picking skills to make good your escape from the Godslunder prison, too?"
He nodded and shrugged. "I had less to work with there so it took longer."
After a long pause Jaron continued. "We'd left the airlings on a nearby point, well out of sight of the settlement. Calun communicated with them when we needed them and they came to us. But airlings aren't strong enough to carry two full-grown men far, so Calun told them what we needed: a place to hide, close by.
"Airlings nest in the cliffs around here, so they know the area well. They brought us to this cavern and when Rama was well enough to fly, they came back for us. We returned to base, because they would only have come after us if we didn't. Darkin believed we were too valuable to them to punish too severely. And he was right. Having our hair cut off and being banished from Godslund was no hardship at all. Having to give them four trained airlings a year... well, that wasn't so easy. But it was what it took to save our lives."
"You hate taking airlings freedom. I can see that," I observed gently.
Jaron rubbed his head against my knee. He was so sad throughout his story. It made me want to cry. Not just for him, or Rama, but for all of them. And the airlings they were forced to trade for their lives.
"They trust us. Breaking that trust by taming them for Godslunders to use is a gnawing ache in all our chests. But worse for Calun, because he's so connected to them."
I had no answer for him. No way to ease his pain. So I continued stroking his hair as the sandglass turned and the light in the cavern grew less and less.
When I could put it off no longer, I stood up. "I had better find the convenience before it gets much darker. I do not want a repeat of last night."
"Having Rama standing outside the privy while you used it would have been lots of fun. He behaved himself, though, didn't he?"
"Yes," I lied easily. "He was a perfect gentlelud."
Jaron made a choking sound. "You should have stopped at yes. Because I know Rama could never behave like a gentlelud."
"Believe what you will," I threw over my shoulder as I headed toward the tunnel entrance near the pool. His laughter followed me into the darkness.
I did not go far down the passage before doing what I came there to do. Comfortable once more, I returned to my companion, to eat and then sleep.
We stuffed the dry grass into the pallet cloths we had brought with us and, after eating some of the meat and quite a few of the succulent vine leaves, which tasted familiar, we settled in for the night without the light of a fire.
It was warm and humid in the rocky chamber, but the water cooled the air enough for comfort. For a long time I lay staring into the dark waiting for my eyes to grow heavy enough to take me into sleep. But time passed and the moon rose, filling the cavern with blue luminosity, and sleep remained elusive.
"Could you try to sleep?" Jaron finally growled from his place not far from me. "Your restless mind is keeping me from much needed shut-eye."
"I have not moved a muscle," I argued.
"You don't have to. I can tell from your breathing that you aren't asleep."
Ignoring his complaints, I voiced my circling worries. "What will happen if they take them away? Or... Or torture and kill them until they tell them where I am."
Jaron sighed with exaggerated patience. "They couldn't tell anyone where you were if they're dead."
"You know what I mean!"
"Calun would send one of the airlings for us if they were taken away. He wouldn't let us remain here to die of starvation. You don't have to be afraid for your safety."
I huffed out a sigh. "That was not my concern. Do you think my own safety is my only concern?"
I heard rustling and then a warm hand found my arm and rubbed it. "Nay, I know it isn't. But it is my main concern. Your safety, I mean. Not mine. I couldn't save Rama but I'll be damned if I'll fail you too."
I shifted to my side and placed a hand over his. "You saved Rama. Without you, your brothers probably would never have been able to pull it off."
"Not soon enough. Not before he was damaged beyond repair." The guilt and pain in his voice was hard to hear.
"It sounds like you did the only thing you could do. The sensible thing. You went back for help. And you found him and freed him using your unique skills."
Jaron slid out of my grip and I heard him turn over on his pallet. The blue light did not reach us here in the shadows, so I had to imagine him lying flat on his back staring up into the dark cavern above.
"Nobody blamed me for leaving him. The Godslunders applauded me for it. Even patted me on the back and called me a man. It was the first time they'd seen me that way, though I'd been a man grown for suncycles by then. That was the worst, having them see what I considered a failure, an act of cowardice, as something commendable. And my brothers didn't blame me because I was the little brother. I couldn't be expected to behave like a man. Running away to get help was all a kid could do. That was screwed up. I was a man to those I despised and a child to those I looked up to."
I sighed, relating in my own way to what he was saying. "I know what it is like to be seen a certain way, no matter what the truth is. I know what it is like to try over and over again to prove yourself and still fail. In fact, I think that by trying to prove myself I made things worse.
"I thought by stepping in and fighting my brother's bullies I was saving him, and that he would love me more for it. Now I think the opposite was true. I think he despised me for it, because a man stands on his own feet. And I did not let him do that. I stopped him from doing that. Or that is how he sees it. Mayhap he is right."
After a moment Jaron spoke again. "Maybe he is. My big brothers always stepped in to protect me. Never let me fight my own battles, when they were around. I appreciated it, but I also resented it. There's a seed of truth in the Godslunders' crazy beliefs. Sometimes you do have to stand back and let a man find his own feet. Though not when he can't. Not when he's outnumbered and badly hurt.
