by Brooke Page
Me either. “Let me drive you home.”
He took a big hit then blew it out of his nose. “It’s not strong. I can drive three miles. Here.”
I glanced at him then nodded, taking the joint. Participating in narcotics wasn’t normally my thing, but I was so wound up by all my responsibilities fighting with my emotions, the gentleness of the drug might bring me some peace. Taking a puff as I moseyed around the car to the passenger side, I breathed in the smoke, letting the drug slowly take over. He was right, it wasn’t strong, but it did the trick. I was much calmer.
The ride back to the shop was steady, and I was thankful all the cars that were there earlier had left. Most likely Colt would sleep on the couch in the backroom. I hadn’t decided if I’d stay in the spare room above the shop or go home. It was nearly two in the morning, and I’d have to be back in five hours.
“How is it, one woman, can completely control my mind?” he asked as he shut off the truck.
Taking another hit of the joint, baffled, I shook my head then passed it to him. “Fuck if I know.”
We sat quietly, letting the drug envelope us in that truck. I could fantasize about Lauren this way without the negative reality tugging at my brain, telling me how much I’d fuck her over if I laid a greedy hand on her again.
With the wispy smoke blowing out my nose, I dreamed about Lauren. Her blonde hair fanned across her pillow, her dreamy eyes gazing at me as she stirred awake from a night together. She’d cuddle me, her scent surrounding me, her soft hands stroking my back as we would hold each other.
We’d own a little hut on an island where the wind was always perfect for our kites. Maybe we’d start our day off by the water, either she’d lay on the beach while I’d surf, or we’d ride tandem with the sunrise. She’d love that.
Then the high of the drug faded along with the hope that my dreams might actually come true.
Colt had vanished from the truck without me realizing. Stepping down from the truck, I squinted into the moonlight. The clouds had faded. It was so bright in the middle of the night. Lauren would love this view.
Sighing, I trudged up the steps to the shop, opening the unlocked door, finding Colt passed out on the couch like I assumed he would. Glancing at my phone, it was three AM, and I had a missed text from Lauren.
Lauren: You too. I know I will. I’ll see you in the morning. :o)
I rubbed my face, fighting the guilt from my lips being pressed against another woman. I was going to have to fight that feeling if I were to bring Abby into this mess. I’d have to coax her somehow. Maybe she’d be satisfied with a night on the beach, and I could drug her and bring her in. A shiver ran through my body. Drug her. No matter how hard I fought it, I was one of the sick fuckers who ran this devastating establishment. I thought like them, worked alongside them, I was just as guilty as the rest. Working for the FBI should give me a sense of empathy, but it didn’t. It was a cover up for how my head truly processed life.
Chapter Sixteen
Lauren
“I get it now,” I sighed into the darkness of our room, relaxed and sated on the top bunk.
Marcy giggled. “It’s about time. Did you do it on the beach?”
“Not all of it, but it was something new. I’ve never been touched like that before,” I confessed, remembering the heat of his body and the steady in and out of his finger. My thighs tingled as I imagined it.
“Colt hasn’t made a move really,” she sighed. “I mean, we’ve fooled around, but I still haven’t seen his package.”
I laughed. “Marcy, I’m impressed.”
“I’m frustrated,” she grumbled.
I sighed contently, rolling to my side and scrolling through my phone. My high instantly vanished when I saw a text from my mother. She’d made a point to contact me every day, but this one made the guilt hit hard.
Mom: I had to call Tony tonight. He left a nasty shiner on my eye. I think he broke my wrist. I don’t know what to do.
Tony was the crazy one that paid her the most. I wouldn’t be surprised if he broke something on her. He’d done it before. The money I sent her must not have gotten there, or she already blew it on heavier drugs. My first instinct was to race back home to help her, but I wouldn’t get their fast enough. I hated doing what I was about to do.
Hang in there. I’ll get you help.
Swiping through my contacts, I found the one person I knew who’d drop anything for me. It was late, but I still took the chance. Jumping down from the top bunk, I peeked at Marcy who had her eyes closed, then went and sat on the wicker couch on the back porch.
“Lo?” Colby answered on the first ring. “You okay?”
“Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t called,” I apologized. “I’m okay, but my mom…”
Colby let out a deep breath. “Want me to check on her?”
“Tony came over, I guess,” I whispered, shivering from the memories of the visions he’d placed in my head.
“Fuck. Figures the one night I don’t drive by your mom’s house on the way home from the shop. I would’ve stopped if I saw his truck, Lo. I’m so sorry.”
Why did he have to be so sweet? The sincerity in his voice made me feel worse. Why couldn’t he make my emotions rise like Vance?
My brows pinched together. “Don’t be sorry. She’s not your responsibility, she’s mine. I was stupid for leaving her.”
“No, you’re not stupid. I shouldn’t have pressured you to come live with me. You wouldn’t have felt the need to run away.” The sorrow was obvious in his voice, and I hated it.
“Colby don’t say that--”
I could hear rustling on the other end of the phone as he interrupted me. “I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty just now. I’ll go over there and bring her to the hospital if she’s bad. Want me to call you when I get there? Or I can text you so you can go to sleep.”
I sighed. “Call me please, I won’t be able to sleep until I know she’s okay.”
“Alright. Don’t stress. She’ll be in good hands.”
I didn’t respond verbally because my tongue was stuck in my throat. This had happened a dozen times, but I’d never been away from her when it did. What if this was the final time? I’d never be able to live with myself if something happened to her because I left.
“Lo, I mean it. Stop worrying. I got this,” he reassured. I heard his truck start in the background. He literally jumped out of bed for me in the middle of the night. I didn’t deserve for this man to be in love with me.
“Thank you, Colby,” I croaked, trying to hold back emotion.
“Lo Lo,” he said gently into the phone. “Baby, please trust me. I’ve got this. Take your time coming home. If you being away for longer means I’ll have you forever, then the wait will be worth it.”
I sniffled softly between tears, pushing back the guilt for the feelings I didn’t have for him. “You’re sure of yourself.”
“I love you, Lauren. I’ll always take care of you.”
Closing my eyes, I willed my lips to tell him I love you back, but it would mean more to him than what it meant to me. At least right now.
“Colby,” was all I could whisper. “Thank you.”
“I’ll call you in ten minutes or so.” He wanted to sound cheery like his normal self, but I could hear the sadness in his voice.
A few tears shed as I went to get the soft crocheted blanket from the top bunk. Marcy was sleeping soundly on her bunk as I grabbed the blanket and went back to the porch. I curled it around me, cozying myself the best I could on the lounger. Worry trembled through my body as I anxiously watched my phone, willing Colby’s number to pop up with good news.
Vance could help this tremor stop with the touch of his hands. My heart pounded, a silent plea for his arms to be wrapped around me while I waited. I shook my head, shame filling me for feeling so strongly toward Vance and not Colby. Would Vance be willing to do what Colby is doing? Go take care of my drug-addict mother while I was off ‘finding myself’?
I had no idea if his loyalty was the same as Colby’s, and sadness filled me when I thought about it, because I doubted anyone would ever be as loyal as Colby.
My phone beeped, but it wasn’t Colby. It was a text from Vance. I couldn’t stop my smile from widening.
Vance: Sleep well, beautiful.
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. It’s amazing how three words from a certain person could change your mood. I began to type back, but Colby’s phone call interrupted me from sending it.
“Hey,” I answered instantly.
“We’re on our way to the hospital,” his voice was muffled by the sound of his truck revving.
“Is she okay?”
He paused. “She’s not feeling a thing, that’s for sure. But her wrist is really messed up.”
My eyes scrunched closed. “What about the rest of her?” He didn’t respond right away, confirming my answer. “He beat her to hell, didn’t he?”
“I’ll make sure she’s okay,” he assured. “She’s not in pain.”
Anger filled me. She wasn’t in pain because she was so fucked-up.
“Try to sleep. I’ll let you know what the doctors say.” I sighed into the phone. We both knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep.
“You staying in my room?” he asked, trying to change the subject.
“No, I’m on the top bunk with Marcy.”
“Why?” he asked playfully. “You don’t want your own room?”
I shrugged my shoulders as if he could see me. “It’s not my room.”
He laughed under his breath. “What’s mine is yours, silly.”
I laughed with him.
“Would you share it with me if I were there?” he asked softly.
I swallowed. If Colby were here, I probably would have. I never would have met Vance, because Colby would have distracted us from meeting them on the beach. And I still would have been confused as ever, not experiencing this new livelihood Vance had brought out of me. I’d still be the lost, troubled girl that I was, but now, I had a sense that there was a possibility for more. The growth in my heart gave me a sense to survive, that there was more to live for.
“Yes,” I whispered.
I sensed his grin. “Sleep, Lo, hug a pillow like it’s me.”
Swallowing, I said thickly, “Okay.”
“I’ll text you. Goodnight, baby.”
I hung up the phone, then sent my text to Vance.
Grabbing the throw pillow, I squeezed it to my chest. I didn’t hug it as if it were Colby, I hugged it as though it were Vance. And deep down, where the guilt and shame disappeared and transformed into courage and conviction, I drifted to sleep, dreaming of the sea green eyes and dark hair that brought me to life.
***
Colby texted me around five in the morning telling me my mother had broken her wrist and a few ribs. No doubt Tony did a number on her. I was thankful she was being taken care of, but terrified they’d give her pain meds. Maybe they’d force her to go into a rehab facility. I knew she wouldn’t be so lucky. She didn’t have insurance, and wouldn’t qualify for help even if she wanted it.
Marcy waved for me to go away when I asked her if she wanted to join me at The Surf Shop. I guessed that meant Colt wasn’t working.
I should have felt guiltier when my heart fluttered at the thought of seeing Vance this morning, but I was strangely at ease. I knew my mom was okay, and even though I hardly slept last night, seeing Vance would help me forget about the troubles I had endured.
I took the steps two at a time to The Surf Shop with a coffee in each hand. Vance was up late last night too, and I was sure he’d need the caffeine as badly as I did. He was stressed about work, and I didn’t exactly help him with reliving the tension.
Pausing at the top step, I swallowed, thinking about how hard he was against my lower back. Touching him and returning the favor didn’t even cross my mind. Sweat began to tickle the back of my neck at the thought. I’d never touched a man there. I’d felt Colby against me through clothing a few times, but he never asked for more.
“What are you doing out here?” Vance greeted with a soft smile. His eyes were tired, and I was thankful mine were hidden by sunglasses. I glanced down at his tan board shorts curiously, then diverted my attention elsewhere. I couldn’t think about him like that! Not right now!
“You going to come inside?” he smirked, holding the door open for me. “Is that for me or is Marcy with you?”
“Marcy is still sleeping, this is for you.” I handed him the cup of coffee, quickly slipping passed him. He smelled delicious, freshly showered and ready for the day. Even with tired eyes, he was still gorgeous. I noticed Colt was asleep on the couch in the backroom. They must have both been exhausted and slept here last night.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” I asked through a raspy breath, trying to gain my senses back from imagining what was underneath his shorts.
“Not really,” he let out a long breath. “What about you?”
I nodded, attempting to hold in my blush. Guilt pushed the crimson away. I shouldn’t have slept at all. “For the most part.”
Concern etched his face. “You okay?” He stepped toward me, setting his coffee down and gently taking my sunglasses from my face.
Meeting his eyes, I began to tell him about my mother.
He listened intently, not interrupting me but letting me finish.
“Maybe you should go see her,” his words were filled with compassion. The fire inside of me that flamed for him flickered, knowing he didn’t want me to leave, but wanted what was best for me.
“She’ll be okay. Colby is watching her.”
His eyes were hooded as he stroked my cheek. “You soften when you say his name.”
“He does a lot for me,” I said truthfully. I gazed at Vance, trying to predict what he was thinking.
His thumb methodically caressed along my cheek, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes and lean into his hand. I craved for him to touch me ever since his hands left me last night. My arms instinctively wrapped around his waist, holding his body close to mine, burrowing my head into his chest.
He sighed into my hair, wrapping his arms around me. “I would have come back to you last night,” he murmured. “You lied in your text.”
I nuzzled his chest then tilted my head toward his. “By the time I knew what was happening, I didn’t want to wake you if you’d actually fallen asleep.”
He stroked my face in the delicate way only he could do. “Call me next time, okay?”
I nodded, gazing at his lips. He read my mind, tilting his head to touch his mouth with mine. It was sweet and delicate, and everything I needed. To be held close in his arms, to feel his warmth and embrace. Nothing else mattered when I was with Vance Everret.
Leaning his forehead against mine, he let out a low breath. “I have to unlock the doors in five minutes.”
“What do you want me to do?”
His nose rubbed against mine. “Kiss me.”
I smiled, tightening my arms around his waist, and did as he asked. The sweet and tender kisses transformed into heated licks, my tongue mingling with his passionately. I couldn’t help but run my hands through his scalp, grasping his hair to pull him in closer. Vance groaned into my mouth, lifting me from my feet and urging my legs to wrap around his waist to set me on the front counter.
His erection was full on now, pressing against my pelvis, only our shorts between us. He nipped my bottom lip then down my jaw and to my neck. I had to clamp my mouth shut from moaning out loud, remembering Colt was in the backroom. The way his hips rotated against my pelvis insinuated so much more than a simple make out. And for the first time in my life, I was ready.
Rip off my clothes and have your way with me, Vance Everret. I’m ready to give you everything.
I couldn’t control my hands from clawing up his spine and under his shirt, needing to feel his hot skin against my palms. I only got a glimpse from a distant glow of a fire what his body looked like
without a shirt, and I was curious to see him in broad daylight. Tan, strong, delicious… my imagination was running wild along with my hips. Vance wasn’t stopping me either, one hand was still grasping my hip and pulling me into him while the other was on the nape of my neck. He gently tugged my hair, causing me to gasp in delight.
My lips found his neck, and I couldn’t help but gently suck, the heady scent of his masculinity overpowering my senses.
He growled, yanking on my hair to bring my mouth back to his. His kiss was stronger, demanding dominance. I obeyed his lips, letting him take over, my hands moving from his back to his front.
Like a bucket of cold water was tossed on us, the front door chimed and we both froze. A deep, throaty chuckle filled the room, and I couldn’t jump down fast enough.
Marcus cleared his throat. “Sorry to interrupt.”
Vance instantly turned cold, the air became thick as he pulled me off the counter and stood in front of me. His stance was broad and protective.
Marcus smirked at Vance, peeking over his shoulder to wink at me. “Guess it is hump day.”
I flushed, my eyelids squeezing closed wanting to disappear.
“Lauren, will you go and start pricing the new arrival of wetsuits in the back? They’re on the left side of the couch.” Vance didn’t look at me, but by the tone of his voice I knew he was serious. My face redder than it ever had been, I made a dash to the back room, horrified.
I was on the verge of ripping my clothes off, what if he would have come in later? A chill ran through me. I needed to get a hold of my hormones. They never took control of my actions before Vance.
I passed by a snoring Colt to grab the box. He was sleeping so soundly, it was cute. I think he really cared about Marcy, and that made me like him even more.
“Long time no see,” a familiar voice said from behind me. I jumped around, only to sag in relief to see it was Tucker.
“You startled me,” I laughed as quietly as I could, holding my hand to my chest. “Can you help me move these boxes away from Colt. I don’t want to wake him up,” I whispered.
