Fatima’s phone rang. It was Darius again. She listened as he left yet another message.
“Okay, Fatima. Have it your way. You want me to leave you alone. Fine. I’ll leave you alone,” Darius said with a defeated voice. “I’m going to work on my marriage. I’m going to put more attention toward my wife and children. Are you happy now? Is this what you want? Well, you got it. I’m leaving you alone. Alone. Are you listening to this message? If you ever change your mind about us, give me a call. Hopefully, I’ll treat you better than you’re treating me right now. I didn’t deserve to be dumped this way and you know it. My only crime was falling in love with you. That was all. I suppose that’s why we men are the way we are. It seems we just can’t show our sensitive side. Women like you just end up taking our hearts and stomping on them when we do. I suppose had I been a dog, like you and your friends say most men are, then things would be different between us now, huh? Just got to have a rough neck. A good man can’t show a woman how much he loves her. I see that now. That’s what I’ve taken away from this experience, Fatima. Never let a woman know you truly love her. ’Cause if you do, she’ll treat you like a bug. She’ll turn on the light to watch you scamper around; she’ll laugh when she sees you’re trying to find your way to a safe place; she may even play with you to make you believe she thinks you’re cute; and then splat!—she’ll squash you when you least expect it to happen. Well, Fatima. I get your message loud and clear. I see how you really feel about what I believed we had together.” He laughed. “I guess the joke really is on me.”
She replayed it. “End of messages,” the prerecorded woman’s voice on the machine said after the message finished.
Fatima began to cry.
The Word of God is your answer.
She pressed play on the machine, skipping messages until she came to the one Darius had just left her, then listened to it again. She began to cry harder.
The Word of God is your answer, she heard again in her spirit.
She picked up her Bible off the nightstand, sat back on the bed, opened the Bible, and began to randomly flip through the pages. She stopped; her eyes looked down upon Ephesians the fifth chapter, verse three: “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints.”
“That’s great, Lord. Great! Is that all You have for me? I hope You know that wasn’t especially comforting for me. I was hoping for something that would make me feel better. Look, God, I’m trying. I really am trying. Can you help a sister out down here? Please, just make it stop. I beg You; please, make the hurt stop.”
She lay down, buried her face into her brand-new, baby-blue bedspread, and cried herself to sleep.
Chapter 9
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
—Matthew 5:29
“Bentley, we need to go and talk with the pastor,” Marcella said to her husband as she held the remote control to the television in her right hand.
He looked up at her as she stood over him. “What? Why?”
“You and I need to make an appointment to go talk to Pastor Landris.”
“Talk about what?”
“About your problem.” She tossed the remote control onto his lap. “For starters, why the Playboy channel is available on our television downstairs in the den.”
Bentley moved his foot off the coffee table and set the remote on it. He had been asleep watching the TV upstairs, but quickly stood to his feet. “Look, I called them last week, Monday of last week to be exact, to take it off. I guess they haven’t gotten around to doing it just yet. I’ll call them again. Right now in fact.” He walked toward the phone.
“Oh, and I guess you just couldn’t resist watching it while you were waiting, huh? I suppose there was always a lock on that channel. All this time, you’ve had this. I suppose you must have forgotten to lock it back when you finished watching it late last night or early this morning.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t ‘what are you talking about’ me. I suppose you were so into the program, you forgot to lock the channel back after you finished. That’s what I’m talking about. When I turned on the TV just now, guess what came up and guess who got an eyeful?”
He came over to her. “Baby, look. I’m sorry. This won’t ever happen again. I promise you that. Look, I’m going to call them right now and demand that they take that channel off our cable today.”
“Yeah. And call the church while you’re at it and make us an appointment,” Marcella said.
“Look now. It’s bad enough that I had to tell you I have this problem. There’s no way I plan to tell a man of God—my pastor at that—I’m having problems with pornography, of all things.”
Marcella frowned. “I don’t believe what you’re standing here saying. You have a problem, Bentley. Pluck it out. You need help, Bentley. Pluck it out. You’ve got to get rid of it.” She pressed her lips together. “And I know you’re not telling me because of some foolish pride on your part, you don’t want to go and talk to the man God has placed in our lives as our overseer to help us in cases such as this very thing? I know that’s not what I’m hearing here.”
Bentley grabbed Marcella by both shoulders and squared his body with hers. “Do you have any idea how he’s going to look at me if he hears about this? I will look weak to him. Do you honestly believe he’ll want to let me work in any ministry at the church, let alone place me in charge of one, if he learns what I’ve been doing? I can answer that. No. Listen, Marcella. Baby, you and I can handle this. I told you. I shared my weakness with you and God. You and God are all I need to overcome this. Look at how God has already used you to help me just today. You’re keeping me straight.”
Marcella wriggled out of his grip. “Yeah, you’ve had me all this time, and a lot of good that seems to have done you. No, Bentley. This is spiritual warfare, and we need some machinegun-powered Holy Ghost help for you, I see. Pastor Landris is not here to judge you or anybody else. He’s here to help. He preached on strongholds because he knew people were dealing with these very type things in their everyday life. Some are maybe dealing with stronger holds than others, that’s all. But we’re all dealing with something or other. The Bible says pride goes before destruction. If you’re too proud to let a man of God know what you’re dealing with so he can help you, then you’re likely going to be destroyed by this.”
“See, I’ve just never had to face reality before like I do now. I know what I’m up against. I can beat this. We just need to pray and trust God. We don’t need to spread our business all over the place. How do you know Pastor Landris won’t judge me? How do you even know if he’ll keep something like this just between us? I don’t know him that well. He could be just like some of these other preachers we’ve dealt with who divulge folks’ personal business, in their own little sneaky way. That’s how a lot of folks’ business gets to circulating in the church. That’s how some folks find out other people are having problems in their household—church folks spreading it among church folks.”
“You’re referring to that incident with Pastor Rudd at the church we left, aren’t you? When he got up and told the congregation that time that we all needed to pray mightily for Brother Wayne because he was having some serious marital issues.”
“Precisely,” Bentley said. “Who even had a clue that Brother Wayne and his wife were having problems? But after Pastor Rudd said that from the pulpit, it seemed like everybody and their brother made it their business to try and find out what exactly was going on with them. I don’t want something like that happening to us. Nobody has a clue what goes on in our house, and I’d like to keep it that way.”
“I don’t believe Pastor Landris is like that at all. He’s so down-to-earth. And have you seen how excited he is about his wife being pregnant? He’s just like you and me. I
believe we need to see about getting an appointment to have him counsel us with what you’re going through now,” Marcella said. “He’s a man; I’m sure he understands.”
“What if we can’t see him anytime soon? What if we have to speak with one of the other ministers?” Bentley shook his head. “I don’t see myself talking with anybody else about this. If I have to confide in anyone besides you, it would have to be Pastor Landris. That’s it.”
“All I know is that we need help. Pastor Landris seems to really care. And I’m going to be honest with you, Bentley. I don’t know if I can take knowing what you’ve been doing and finding you’re sneaking around still doing it.”
“I know. If I can just shut down my thoughts, I would be all right. It’s just hard to explain to anybody why I feel I have to keep doing this in the first place.”
Marcella bit down on her lip. “Especially since you have all this at home,” she said as she did a slight shimmy. “So are you going to call and make an appointment, or do you want me to do it? Because somebody’s calling today. Not tomorrow, today.”
Bentley took both his hands and slowly slid them down his face. “It’s my stronghold; I guess I need to be the one to make the call.”
“Yeah, and you need to get that junk off our TV while you’re at it. Or we really may be plucking out something for real. I’m not going to stand for this, Bentley. I’m just not.”
He reached over and pulled Marcella into his arms. “I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this. You really don’t.”
Chapter 10
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
—Luke 12:34
“Xavier,” Avis said when she came to the glass storm door and saw her husband standing there. She cracked open the door. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you. I brought you these.” Dr. Holden held up a bouquet of roses.
Avis looked at the flowers. “So I see.”
Dr. Holden smiled as he lowered the roses down by his side. “So are you going to let me in or what?”
“It depends.”
“On what?”
“On how long you’re planning to stay. Five minutes? Ten? Maybe an hour or two since you came all the way from Birmingham to Jacksonville, Florida.”
“Avis, I love you. You know that.”
“I guess that means a whole day. Whether you love me or not has never been the question.” She opened the door wider. “I suppose the question is: is love enough to survive two relationships?”
Dr. Holden stepped inside. “Two relationships?”
“Yeah, two.”
He shook his head. “I don’t understand. There’s no one else other than you.”
“Me,” she said as she walked toward the sofa and sat down, “and your work.”
“I work for you and our children. All of this has been for our family.” He came over, placed the flowers on the table in front of her, and sat down next to her. The house was quiet; he knew the children had to be gone. “It’s always been about us…our family.”
She scooted over so their bodies wouldn’t touch. “It may have started out that way. But somewhere down the line, it seems you fell more in love with your work than with us. Me and you…you and the children…us.” She shrugged. “I just don’t know about us anymore, Xavier. But I do know that, as for me, I’m tired of being alone.”
“But you’re not alone. I come home every night to you. I bring my money home to you. We’ve built a family together. Me and you. I thought things were fine.”
“See, that’s my point. Things aren’t fine. When you’re not around because you’re working nights and practically every day of the week, what exactly do you think I’m doing? Then when you do get home, you’re too exhausted to do anything except fall asleep wherever you happen to land at the time.”
He looked into her eyes. “I know. I get it.”
“You get it? What do you mean, you get it?”
“I get what it feels like for me when you’re not around, and I get what it must feel like for you when I’m not there. It doesn’t matter that I think I’m doing something noble by working hard for my family in order for us to have more things…life’s finer things—”
“Yeah, things,” Avis said. “Xavier, here’s a news flash for you. We don’t care about things. I’ve never really cared about things. I care about you. I care that our children really need you in their lives. We want you, not more things.”
“I know. I told you. I get it. I’ve always heard the scripture, ‘What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet lose his own soul,’ and I always applied it to the spiritual side of life. What I get now is: I can work day-in and day-out for the rest of my life to acquire more things, but without having someone to share those things with, it doesn’t mean a thing.”
Avis looked into his eyes. “That’s what I’ve been trying to get you to see. We have a nice big house, but you’re hardly ever there. We drive around in nice cars to nice places, but you can’t go because you’re always working. The children miss you so much. You’re really a wonderful guy, but when you don’t spend time with them, how will they ever know? I miss my friend; I miss doing things with my friend. I miss laughing about nothing. I miss fixing a meal the way we used to back when we were praying just to be able to pull something together in order for us to have something to eat. I miss you.”
Dr. Holden took the palm of his hand and placed it softly on Avis’s cheek. “I love you.”
“I told you, Xavier; I already know you love me.” She leaned her face more into his hand as she closed her eyes. “That has never been the question.” She sat up straight, then gently moved his hand to his side. “So, how long until you have to go back? I’m sure there must be some crisis needing your immediate attention and you just flew in to quiet this one. I wouldn’t doubt if you don’t have the plane standing by—even as we speak.”
Dr. Holden stood up without saying a word, leaned down and kissed her hard, then headed toward the door. He turned around and looked back with a real sadness on his face.
Avis reluctantly looked up at him. “Precisely what I thought,” she whispered.
“Avis, I really do love you. I do.”
Avis looked away from his loving gaze. And without another word, Dr. Holden walked out the door. As Avis sat wiping away the tears that had begun to fall, she heard the door as it softly closed.
Five minutes later, there was a banging at the door. “Excuse me, Sweet Woman,” Dr. Holden yelled. “But would you be so kind as to open the door for me. I sort of have my hands full.”
Avis got up and walked to the door. “Xavier?” she said with a puzzled look on her face. “But I thought…” She wiped the tears off her face.
“What? That I’d left. Oh, you don’t understand. I’m planning to spend time with my family, uninterrupted time, in fact, for the next three weeks.” Dr. Holden walked through the now fully opened door carrying one large suitcase, a duffle bag on his shoulder, and a garment bag. “Whatever my family wants to do, I’m here for them.”
“I don’t understand. What about your patients? Your practice? All the folks who need and depend upon you? Those ‘can’t-do-without-you-Dr.-Holden’ patients?”
Dr. Holden set the suitcase and the duffle bag on the floor, then took the garment bag and laid it across the arm of the sofa. He walked back to Avis, lifted her face up by her chin, and said, “Well, I suppose they’re just going to have to learn how to cope without me, because the next few weeks are reserved exclusively for me and mine.”
His eyes began to dance as she blushed. “I told you, Sweet Woman; I get it. I…get…it. I’m not about to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me, other than accepting Jesus into my life, of course. Dear Sweet Woman, you mean more to me than all the money, all the houses, all the fine cars, and all the fine name-brand clothing….”
Avis smiled. “Well, let’s not get too carried away. I like my name-brands now.”
> Dr. Holden leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her lips. “I’m all yours, Mrs. Holden. So there. Now what are you going to do about that?”
Avis smiled as she looked deep into his eyes. “Oh, I believe I have a few ideas, Dr. Holden. After all, you are a real doctor, you know. So we wouldn’t have to play doctor.” She let out a slight laugh. “I still can’t believe you actually came all the way down to my mother’s to see me. Do you know how long it’s been since you’ve been anywhere that wasn’t work related?”
He kissed her hard again and hugged her like he never wanted to let go. “I know. But this is just the beginning.”
Avis hugged him just as tightly back. Dear God: I pray, let him really mean it this time. Let him really mean it.
Chapter 11
Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
—Proverbs 6:27
“I’ll be back in a little while,” Edwin yelled as he walked out the door.
Desiree came out of the kitchen just as the front door closed. She had been here before. In the past when Edwin went to the race track, he never told her that’s where he was headed. It was always “I’ll be back in a little while,” which he never was.
Edwin had been doing so well. Desiree was praying after a month of him not gambling that he wasn’t slipping back to his old ways.
She was asleep when he came home. Edwin tried to be really quiet so he wouldn’t wake her, but Desiree was a light sleeper and she heard him when he went into the bathroom. She opened her eyes and glanced at the clock: 1:17 A.M. Edwin had been gone since a little after seven o’clock, over five hours ago. There was no question now in her mind where he had been: at the race track.
Strongholds Page 8
