by K. J. Dahlen
Nikoli was almost fourteen when his mother died. Almost a man full grown as was his cousin Danton. They were out in back of Nikoli’s house. Danton had a knife in his hand and was practicing his throwing skills.
But then Danton always had a knife in his hands. He had discovered the blade was a deadly weapon and he enjoyed using it. He always bragged to him that one day he would be in the Bratva. He would never be what his family was, simple farmers. That was too much work, too much physical labor for him. He’d had enough of being covered in the muck of the stalls and smelling like cow shit to last him the rest of his life.
When he was old enough and strong enough and had mastered the art of killing with a blade, he intended find a way to get his talents known to the Bratva and from then on, he would have clear sailing. He always bragged he would have a big house and fancy cars and really be somebody.
That’s all he’d cared about. He didn’t really care how he got all it either. Nikoli shook his head slightly. There was so much more to the Bratva than just knife skills and fancy homes. When he thought about it, he knew Danton never would have made it into the Bratva in the first place. Loyalty was one of the major points the Bratva stood for. Honor, loyalty and the truth. Yes, he admitted to himself, the Bratva protected its own with violence when it had to, but they were a business the same as any other.
Sergi never would have allowed Danton in. There was just something so fundamental missing from his attitude and Sergi would have seen it straight away. If he allowed Danton into his organization, he would have been looking over his shoulder from that day on, waiting and watching for the knife Danton would have buried in his back.
Even at fourteen, Nikoli could see the type of man Danton would become. And three years later at seventeen, he did. Danton had taken to the streets like a duck took to water. No matter how many times his father and older brothers dragged him back home, he always returned to the streets. Then when Danton was fourteen, he lost his father. His old man had died while tilling the land.
When Nikoli was fourteen, he lost his mother and his father just up and left him alone one day. With his wife gone now, he figured he had no reason to stay. He never cared for the son he had and one morning when Nikoli woke up, he found himself alone. When Nikoli tracked him down a year later, he found his old man living with another woman. His father introduced him to his half siblings, Natasha and Vlad. To his surprise, the twins were ten years old.
Nikoli had known long before then that his father was a bastard. He had a wife and a mistress. With his mistress, he had a second family and he had walked away from him to be with them. That his mistress had known about him all along made her nothing but a whore in the young Nikoli’s eyes. When he called her that his father became enraged and tried once again to beat his son into submission, but this time Nikoli hadn’t allowed it. What little respect he had for the man who inseminated his mother was long gone. He not only stopped his father from beating him, but he’d pounded the shit out of him. When he walked away, his father was down and bleeding and his whore was screaming at Nikoli to get out of her home.
He was fifteen and when he turned his back on his father, he walked away and never gave the bastard another thought. Seven years later, when Nikoli had begun his rise in the Bratva his father had come to him looking for a handout. His whore had walked out on him taking his children with her and he found himself alone in the world.
Nikoli threw him out of his office and out of his life again. His father tried to play the parent card a little too late and Nikoli told him he didn’t care. He might have the same blood as the older man but all that meant was that he’d been in the right place at the right time to create him. He never showed him the kind of love a real father had for their children. He’d never shown his own wife the real kind of love a wife needed. He told his own father he’d been nothing more than a pathetic excuse for a real man.
A few years later, he heard word on the street that his father was dead. He died alone and no one had shown up for his funeral. The fact that he felt nothing by the news bothered Nikoli slightly at the time. Anton Silvanic had come full circle. He had it all…then lost it all.
It was shortly after that Nikoli met his Bethany. He had grown into a harsh man in the years between joining the Bratva and the time he met her, but once he had, he felt ready to change. She made him want to be a better man. He loved her like there was no tomorrow and while they’re time together was cut short by her death at the hands of another, he never regretted his past. She had made him a better man.
But now…now he didn’t know how he felt about starting over with another woman…Bella but she deserved his consideration. He had remembered the night they shared a decade ago. He had pushed away what he could have felt for her at the time when he nearly pushed her out the door flashing money. Then from time to time over the years he remembered exactly what she had given him.
So overcome by his own lust he’d been so lost in the moment they came together he almost missed the fact that he’d taken her virginity. She cried out just then and when he would have stopped, she wouldn’t let him. With a simple move of her hips she had pulled him under her spell again and he forgot how inexperienced she had been.
To say he couldn’t stop himself was a new experience for Nikoli. He’d never been so caught up with his own pleasure before. And when she clung to his body as she climaxed that first time in his arms, he couldn’t even think as he followed her over the edge to pure insanity.
Never before had any other woman he’d been with ever pleased him so much, even his Bethany. He hated to admit it but he realized long after she left him the next morning that it was true. He found in her arms something that had been missing from all his other hook ups.
Looking down at the top of her head, he wondered if what he had held in his dreams was still true. Could he find that mind blowing experience again with her or had that been just a one-time deal?
He felt her stirring in his arms and he didn’t want her to move away. Tightening his hold on her, she started.
Opening her eyes, she looked at him and began moving away. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asked quietly.
Bella closed her eyes as if she was embarrassed. “For using you as a pillow.”
“Why should you be sorry for that?” he gave her a half smile.
Bella opened her eyes and searched his face. “You didn’t mind?”
Nikoli shrugged. He felt his body hardening against her side. Watching her eyes, he knew she felt it too. She closed her eyes and groaned as his cock grew hard. Leaning closer to her ear he whispered, “I think we both need this don’t you?”
~* * * *~
Bella felt her heart swell. She hadn’t had a lover in over ten years, not since the last time she came here. Being with him had ruined her for anyone else and she’d craved him all this time. She didn’t want anyone else and staying hidden and caring for a child never allowed her to meet anyone anyway. Now he was here with her again and she was unsure what might happen next.
Then her mind cleared and she slid her hands up and down his arms. Leaning forward, she spread tiny kisses along his whiskered jaw and heard him groan. He tipped her face up and his lips crushed hers. Opening her mouth, she felt his tongue slide against hers and the heat level of her body rose above her expectations. She felt
His hands strong slip around to her back as he unclipped her bra. Tearing away the cloth, her breasts were now free of the confines of her bra.
Bella felt herself being pushed onto her back then Nikoli’s mouth began moving down her neck to her chest. The moment she felt his lips lick and suck her skin she groaned. That made his cock grow harder almost to the point of pain and he moved over her to lay within the cradle of her hips.
Ripping her panties away from her body he sought out the one place, she needed him. Her core was wet and warm and he settled in. His fingers slid down her body to seek her folds. When he touched her, he groaned. “I don’t think I
can wait.”
“Then don’t,” she whispered, urging him as she ground her hips into his. “I need you inside me now.”
Nikoli didn’t wait, instead he surged into her deeply. He was surprised to find she was wet enough to make the invasion easy. He buried his cock deep inside her and growled when he felt her close around him like a velvet glove. He slammed in and out of her until his mind went to mush but he couldn’t stop.
The small moans coming from her throat fed him with power and he continued to pound into her. No one had ever made him feel this way, so powerful, so supreme. The small woman had done this before too, when they were together. With a few more strokes, she screamed and arched her back, exploding over the edge and a few more strokes had him roaring in release.
Neither one of then said a word as Nikoli collapsed on top of her. Bella lifted her arms and held him in place for a few minutes as their hearts pounded in their chests. Finally, after a long moment Nikoli moved to her side. Bella groaned and didn’t want to release him but her arms slid away. They were both sweaty and panting and as the sweat dried, Bella began to cry. Her tears surprised her.
Nikoli turned his head and frowned when he saw the tears. He leaned up on his elbow and asked, “Are you alright?”
Bella nodded. “That was wonderful. Just like I remembered from the last time I was here.”
His frown deepened. “Surely, you’ve felt that release before?’
Bella shook her head. “Only with you.”
He brought his hand up and gently pushed a strand of hair away from her face. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
Bella turned her head and looked at him, smiling slightly she asked, “And what would that be?”
“Ten years ago were you a virgin the night we spent together?”
Bella’s skin flushed. She didn’t want to say anything but he deserved the truth. “Yes, I was.”
“Why?” he asked. “Why would you give me that precious gift?”
She closed her eyes and moved away from him. Sitting up on the other side of the bed, she shrugged. “I wanted to give you something special that night. You already know now that I was half in love with you. You were my dream man back then. You were the only man I wanted to share my body with.”
Nikoli was silent for a long time then he said, “We should get up and find out what Danton is up to.”
Bella felt her tears again. She had just shared her deepest secret and Nikoli hadn’t cared. She felt her heart breaking all over again. This pain wasn’t as bad as the she’d felt the next morning when he offered her a stack of money for sleeping with him but it was close. She was a fool and should have known better. However, she had been oh so willing and she needed to get over this attachment.
Taking a deep breath to bolster herself, Bella went into the restroom and cleaned herself up then found her clothes on the floor beside the bed. She sighed as she picked them up. When she went to put her shirt back on, he cleared his throat. She turned and saw him holding out a pair of gym pants and a t shirt. She stared at them then raised her head to gaze at him for a moment.
Nikoli gave her that half smile as he nodded to the clothing in his hand.
Bella reached out and took the clean clothes from him, slipping them on.
Neither of them had said a word but when they were dressed, Nikoli led them out of the bedroom into the living room.
She excused herself to the restroom, as she knew she’d need to at least brush her hair and maybe find a toothbrush somewhere as well.
Nikoli went to the bar and poured himself a drink.
When she joined him, she took the glass he’d poured for her and began to sip the liquor.
Slamming the shot down his throat, Nikoli poured another and one for Bella.
Laying a hand on her belly, she realized for the first time in days, she was hungry.
Nikoli looked at her briefly then reached for the phone and called down to the kitchen to order room service for them both. A moment later, he disappeared into the restroom.
All the while, Bella had noted their silence. She didn’t want to ponder on it. What was there to say? It had been wonderful and she would just have to settle for it being a temporary thing. She’d known this.
Now she had a chance to look around the penthouse. Walking over to the windows, she looked outside and was mesmerized by the city far below her. She moved away and saw some pictures on the mantle. Waking over, she studied them carefully. One photo there was Nikoli with several men. All were about the same size which was on the bigger side and all of them were about the same age. Late thirties she would guess.
Moving down a bit, she found herself looking at a younger version of Nikoli himself. If she had to guess, she would say this young man was Nikoli’s own son. Then next to him was a picture of a much younger Nikoli with a beautiful blonde woman. They looked very much in love.
Nikoli was dressed in a fine dark suit and the woman was dressed in a long beautiful dark blue gown that showed off her very pregnant belly. Bella caught her breath as she stared at the photograph.
Nikoli slid up behind her and told her quietly, “That was my wife, Bethany. She was murdered the night my son was born. She lived long enough to give him life but she never got the chance to hold him or even see him.”
Bella couldn’t speak because her throat closed up against the heartbreak in his voice. She couldn’t even turn and look at him. Instead, she looked into the eyes of the woman in the photograph. She was very much in love with Nikoli and Bella couldn’t blame her.
She loved him too. She finally admitted that to herself. She had been in love with him for a very long time. Long before she came here with him, ten years ago. She noticed him before that night and one glance was all it had taken. He was so handsome, so refined. She could watch him move all night long. He moved with a grace she hadn’t seen in a man before.
When he left the casino, she left too but she couldn’t stay away. She kept coming back time after time, just to catch a glimpse of him. Then that night ten years ago, he had walked up to her and taken her hand. She remembered he hadn’t said a word to her, he simply took her up to his room, and they spent the night together.
She never regretted giving him her body and even when he shattered her heart the next morning, she didn’t regret it really. Loving him all this time and his daughter had kept her going through the years. Keeping her secret had been hard but she hadn’t wanted to share Malina with anyone.
She turned back to the younger man’s photo. “Is that your son?” she whispered.
“Yes, that is Nicky.”
She didn’t have to look at him to know he was smiling.
“I couldn’t find him for twenty years but now I know there was someone out there watching over him. I found him a couple of years ago.”
Bella swallowed hard. “And these other men?”
Nikoli reached over her shoulder and took the picture down. “These are my men.” He told her proudly as he brushed off the little bit of dust that had collected on the photo. “I found them living in the streets of Moscow and trained them in the ways of the Bratva. They became my men and when I came to this country, they came with me. I stayed here in New York and they went south to New Orleans to make their own way. They answer to me but I answer to Sergi.” He pointed to each of them, “This is Yuri, Mikial, Barshan, Sazon and Roman.” He tapped Yuri and said, “It was Yuri’s wife Raven that brought my son back to me. When she met everyone at twenty years old, secrets were revealed. It turns out she is Misha daughter and Sergi’s granddaughter. That was something neither of them knew before then. She had been watching over Nicky all this time.” He shrugged. “I guess you could call it fate that she found us.”
“And Nicky is ok?” Bella asked.
“Nicky is more than ok, he turned out to be an awesome kid. Raven taught him everything he needed to know and I couldn’t be happier. She saved his life when he was a baby and raised him to be a man any father could be prou
d of.” Setting the picture back on the mantle he told her, “Now I have another picture to add to the rest. Malina’s.”
He moved away dragging her along with him. Sitting on the sofa he asked again, “Why didn’t you tell me about her before?”
Bella sighed and looked away from him but Nikoli wouldn’t let her. He reached out and brought her face back to him. “Why Bella?”
Bella stared at him for a long time then stuck her tongue out and wet her lips. “ Nikoli you asked this before.”
He nodded.” And I still feel you aren’t telling me all of it.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know really. Maybe it was to punish you for what happened that morning? At least I thought it could be, but then I had her and I knew I would give her all the love I still had for you. I knew you didn’t have the same feelings for me as I had for you and that broke my heart. But with Malina, I could love her unconditionally and I could give her what you didn’t want, a big part of me. She was my baby. I was all she had and she was all I had. For the first time in my life, I had something no one could take away from me. If I shared her with you, I was afraid you would keep her. That you would want her but not want me and I couldn’t risk losing her.”
Nikoli remained silent.
Bella felt too nervous to look at him. She kept throwing the fact that she loved him in his face. He must feel uncomfortable by it. But he kept asking her all these questions and the same one as well. She simply told him how she felt. What else could she do?
The silence was overwhelming until it was shattered by the ringing of his front doorbell.
Nikoli got up and went to see who or what was at his door. He came back with a tray of food and set it on the coffee table where they were sitting. Removing the covers, he exposed a plateful of sandwiches and fruit. He offered her one of the plates and she took it. The tension stayed in place as they both ate their food but wasn’t as bad as it had been before.
