“Smart. Her best chance relies on the change being attempted as calmly as possible.” Daniel had already figured out why Thomas was kicked out while I struggled to keep up.
Thomas nodded, looking even more ragged.
“You can tell your pack that transition approval has already been filed. Not that it was ever in doubt.” Daniel stared off into the sea of wolves with one cheek tucked back.
“Thanks.” Thomas sounded exhausted and his expression barely changed.
“It’s the least I could do. Even though we were on other ends of each other in business, Julianne’s a good girl.” The agent drew his other cheek back which turned his lips into a thin line.
There was a pause in Thomas’ response followed by a look of anguish as he turned to another figure. One definitely female, and certainly not Julianne.“She was.” Stacy’s voice reached across the way as she broke from the others. Her naked form looked tear worn.
“What?” I asked with my chest clenching.
“Was a good girl.” Stacy hung her head.
“Then…?” I couldn’t bring myself to say it, to admit it out loud. Not after Thomas had given me a shred of hope.
“She died as pack.” Thomas tried to find a silver lining in the situation.
A howl started up from more than a few places. I felt my senses slowly unravel and travel upward. Their cries for a lost family member vibrated through the air. The ripples echoed far across the landscape from each throat. I wasn’t pack, but anyone with an ounce of sense would understand. Their message was simple. Goodbye, Julianne.
Goodbye.
Chapter 23 – Stay Until After
Malcolm, Julianne’s grandfather, and Rolo had apparently been in on parts of the plan. I guess the old Alpha deserved a few points for hiding the matter from his people. Julianne said, used to say, that it was difficult to have a private thought when in a pack.
Daniel was smart enough to leave quickly. He was still part of an invading force moving into pack lands. No amount of government backing or paperwork filing could prevent resentment.
For my part, the exit was depressing but less rushed. A couple people offered me a ride out of the woods. I chose to walk. Really all I wanted to do was lay down and sleep. Instead, my mind kept whirling over what had happened. What had gone wrong?
It was nearly evening the following day before I finally nodded off. Time passed, and I could almost feel days tick by this time. Something had changed. I was no longer completely oblivious as the hours stacked up. Occasionally, during what I assumed was night time, there were moments where I felt a warmth on one side. Like someone was laying down with me.
By sunlight the feeling was always gone, leaving only me and nature to pass the days. Finally, my eyes opened and it wasn’t a jerk of startled awareness, nor a brutal demand from someone else. I woke up the way any man would prefer to wake up when I was damn well good and ready.
I had laid there long enough that birds chirped happily nearby. They were completely used to my presence. There was no need to hunt them for a meal, though. Someone had kindly left me some supplies in a sealed bag during my slumber.
A few days passed while I hiked towards the forest line. My mind wasn’t even attempting to control my senses. I felt people standing ahead of me. Footsteps and pressure of each person dug into the ground. Familiar patterns of weight and cut out forms. I walked slowly on my path. Both figures stood near the exit.
“Jay.” One of the two people said.
I nodded at Julianne’s grandfather. His name was still a mystery to me, but at least he wore clothes. Somehow even in grief there was a sharpness to his stance.
“In her last moments, we saw a bit of what Julianne saw,” He said. It was news to me that wolves could do that. “We know a bit of how my granddaughter felt, that’s why I allowed you the time to grieve.”
My voice was untrustworthy at this point. All that I could do was slowly nod.
“But once you leave these woods, I’d ask that you never come back.” His words were restrained. The old man’s neck tensed as he tried to finish the sentence without snarling at me.
My neck slowly tilted with another nod. He likely blamed me for his granddaughter’s death. It wasn’t an incorrect assumption. There were a dozen places this whole mess could have been averted.
“I mean it, Jay.” He used my real name.
What else could I do but agree? Any one of us could have stopped Julianne. Me, Thomas, her grandfather. Had there even been an inkling that Kahina’s guard would turn traitor things would have gone differently. Perhaps I should have killed him when we first met. Or drug out Arnold Regious’ body right away. Anything but bring danger to those I cared for.
“If you come back, I’ll kill you myself.” That was the first sign of uncontrolled emotion that he had ever shown. For just the briefest moment, my neck tingled like there was a garrote around it again.
He turned and walked off, almost calmly if you never looked at his face. Thomas stayed behind to watch his grandfather walk away. After a minute of silence the brother finally spoke.
“She had high hopes for you. One of the few guys she actually let get close to her outside of the pack.” Thomas stared at me too, his eyes still red from the last few days of grief. “We felt it, that she didn’t blame you. That’s the only thing that made him leave you alone.”
“But make no mistake, our pack will always blame you for making Julianne feel like she had to be out here.” Then Thomas left. Only a slight stumble displayed how tired Julianne’s brother was. After a few minutes, long after I stopped feeling their footsteps lightly pad through the edge of the forest, I started walking again.
Later I sat on the roadside just outside the woods. It was the same spot where Candy’s car had been a week or two before. Her vehicle was gone and even the tire tracks from Julianne’s motorcycle had vanished. That’s where I stayed until sundown. Despite my hunger, despite how far it was towards home.
Shortly before the last ray of sunlight vanished, a black limo drew close. Headlights flashed as it approached. Finally it stopped, engine still running, right next to me. I stood up and stared blankly as the window rolled down.
“Hop in.” A male voice said.
Kahina had sent out her martial arts instructor to pick me up. Also in the car was the shaggy brunette that had thrown me around. I didn’t even object with our obvious destination. My sort of ex-girlfriend and I had things to discuss. The inside of the limousine felt tiny and far too clean for a man like me.
“Hungry?” He asked.
My head nodded before the question registered. The well-built male handed me a crinkled to go bag from some restaurant I didn’t recognize. In it was a boxed set of hamburgers that were quickly devoured. Ten minutes passed while the meat was sent downwards into a hungry belly. Eventually, I felt human enough to talk.
“How is she?” I asked.
“Anxious.” The man answered.
“About?”
“She hasn’t told me directly.” He stayed calm during my questioning.“Guess.” I had never been one for social pleasantries. Not with anyone. Even with two people who were clearly armed and well trained sitting across from me.
“I’d say she’s worried about you. She’s lost an old friend, and I think she worries that she may also lose you. The timing is bad.” He said. Was this instructor concerned as a friend or as an employee of a future vampire?
There wasn’t any good response to give him. Kahina was mine, by her own admission and that changed a lot of things. I would protect what was mine. If only there was a way to go back in time and extend that to Julianne.
The thought hung for a moment in my head until I drifted back to Kahina. We had been at this dance since I got back when Julianne forced me to look her up. And all Kahina wanted was an answer, for me to tell her how I felt.
To commit.
But did she love me? She had screamed it at me, in desperation, in jealousy if I could believe her. At
the time, I cast that aside as some vampirism fueled delusion. Did I love her? If I was honest with myself?
After the last time I dared let myself feel that way, that final night with Kahina before the world had transformed around me. That had been the closest I had ever come to admitting love. For another person, for someone who wasn’t family. Really, all this time, the problem had been me, wondering if I could risk it all again.
Even with my muddled feelings I felt her wake up as the sun set. There was that familiar rumble of energy as her spirit returned to life. It felt warm. The same heat that had kept me company each night in the woods.
But was it love?
The question lingered with me until we reached her mansion. Kahina’s instructor and the brunette escorted me up to the office where Kahina had kicked me out of more than a week ago. At her doorway, I took pause and noticed a grizzly trophy.
Someone had found Mister Janns and planted his head on a pike. It sat there, impaled and devoid of most color. Even the scar on the side of his face had faded to a broken white. Without any fresh blood the thing, virus or curse, that caused vampirism had turned inward and devoured chunks of skin.
“She’s waiting.” The martial arts instructor said.
“I know.” I could feel the dress as its fabric hovered against her nearly motionless skin. The scent of peppermint was lingering beyond the door. Her hunger pulled in my direction like the tide and moon. There was no mistaking where she was.
I opened the door and let myself in.
Kahina stood on the other side of the desk. Her dress the color of ash. In between us was the same desk that she had nearly snapped last time. Stress marks still showed on the outer edges. She held herself very carefully, not showing much in the way of emotion. A look that may be permanent on her if she survived the change.
My face must look like a wreck to her. Blood was still in the creases of my pants, dried remains hadn’t quite washed out of my hair. I was a mess, not like her. She was calm, cold, and still beautiful. Even a mask over her face couldn’t erase how Kahina looked.
I dared to speak first. “You’ve been trying to get an answer from me.”
There had to be more to us than a series of ‘what ifs’. Kahina had done everything she could to not get in our way and I should risk something in return. Every roadblock that had been thrown up was one of my own damned making.
“And?” She asked slowly.
“I…” My brain paused for a moment. “I’m going to give you a fair chance.”
“That’s all?” Her face kept a careful composure.
“In part.” I paused and tried a final time to put my thoughts into words. Whatever I was, all that I was, would defend her. “You’re mine, Kahina, and I’ll protect you with all that I am.”She waited.
“I’ll stay until the change if you’ll have me, and do everything I can to help you make it through. We can figure out where we stand from there. Is that alright?” I asked. If nothing else the transition had to be approached with a certain amount of realism. She might not make it through.
“Then you want to stay with me?” Kahina tasted the words carefully.
“Through the change,” I said.
Kahina smiled. It was still difficult to tell if she was angry or excited, but the desk didn’t groan in protest.
Afterward
The end of every book brings a chance to reflect on the choices that helped a writer survive the journey. With this series there is one event in history that stands out as a great contributor. During the fifth grade our teacher provided an assignment to write about, well, anything. I won't share the terribly silly work that my project turned into, but I believe this story is the end result of a seed planted twenty years ago by her. Odd how the teachers name escapes me but the homework assignment has stuck with me after so many years.
The end of a book allows me to list all those who helped us reach this far. This work would never have been completed without the help of my wife, who provided constant excitement, suggestions for improvement, and frequent eye rolling when I cited the latest mad plot. She was far more on board when I suggested the main character might be acted by Vin Diesel should the stars align and someone think it's fit for the big screen. The idea is far fetched, but it started many a giggle fit.
A long time friend approached me many years ago regarding a collaborative project in writer. This story is not that project, and that fiction may never see the light of day. Still, by asking me to write a companion novel to the work he is still polishing, I felt the desire to spin my own tales grow. Without him I would never have written this work.
Then of course there are the people who were unfortunate enough to test read one of the many iterations of this novel. At least ten poor souls dared brave those early versions. They were subjected to many of my growing pains as a writer. Playing with first person (poorly), learning how to write a modern fantasy novel, figuring out consistency in tenses (and failing), while trying to find an awkward balance between action and mystery. Without their apprehensive interest I would never have kept finding the keyboard to put down another round of words.
For those of you who have read my other work, Continue Online, this novel should come as a completely different change of pace. I feel proud that they are drastically different people in both action and thought. There are many themes that exist between the two series, but this work came first. Royal Scales, Jay Fields, and the world he lives in will remain my first true novel and is special to me for so many reasons.
This series is expected to span at least seven books. The first three are written and will slowly be release to Amazon (as I complete an editing pass). Book two in this series, 'Lady's First Knight', is expected to release March or April depending on time constraints.
Thank you for purchasing this book and reading along.
You may follow further updates via frustratedego.wordpress.com or Twitter @FrustratedEgo
Once Lost Lords (Royal Scales, Book 1) Page 33
