by J. A. Little
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can!”
“No, Kayla. I can’t. I’m not strong like you. I never have been. I need him.”
“You need his money.”
“It has nothing to do with money,” she snaps. “I make eighty thousand dollars a year. Besides, he’s about to lose everything we have anyway.”
“That’s his own fault. He deserves everything he gets. And so do you if you stay with him.” I know I’m being harsh, but I can’t sit back and keep my mouth shut anymore.
“Maybe I do,” she says quietly. “Just go, Kayla. He’s going to be home soon, and if he finds you here, he’s going to be very angry.”
I shake my head. I’m fuming. “So I can file a petition for guardianship, then? Because Claire doesn’t deserve to be in the system. Her baby—your grandchild—doesn’t deserve to be born in the system.” I watch as my mother blanches at the mention of the baby.
“Do what you think is best.”
I sigh in frustration. “You realize there’s no going back, right? You do this and you’ve lost both of us. We can’t—”
“I know,” she says, swallowing. I turn my back and am about to storm off when I hear her voice very softly. “I’m sorry, Kayla. I wish I was a better person—a better mother.”
I don’t answer her. I just walk away. I know this is battered spouse syndrome, but it still hurts. It hurts to know that Claire and I aren’t important enough to her. It hurts to know she’s choosing Richard over us. It hurts to know I may never see my mother again.
Dean knows what happened the second I step off the elevator. He’s there, holding me. When we get into the car, he starts it up and looks over at me.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” I answer. “But I will be.”
Chapter 77
Kayla
Weeks go by. I can get through the day, but I never truly settle back into work. Whatever was there before Dana’s death has been taken away from me. I do my job like I’ve always done it. I’m no longer scared, but I don’t feel the passion I once did. I try, though. Every day, I tell myself this will be the day, but it never is.
Even though I try not to pay attention to the news, I can’t help it. Richard’s team is preparing for the trial, which has been set for November. Just like Claire predicted, he’s hired the best attorneys who are doing everything they can to get him off. They’re doing some major PR, too, presenting him as a pillar of the community. What a crock of shit. The man has never done anything that didn’t benefit him in the end. I pray the jury can see through it. I see a picture of my mother at his side. The bruises have healed, and she looks perfect—supportive. I wish one of those reporters would ask him about his daughter; ask where she is. Claire seems to be a forgotten victim in all of this.
Claire finishes her summer school session at the end of July with a 4.0. She’s got three weeks before her correspondence classes start. I’ve applied for guardianship with the courts and Jasmine turned in all the paperwork. We have a court date in a couple of weeks. I’m worried that my mother or Richard will show up, but Jasmine thinks it’s unlikely. Richard won’t even let her into the penthouse, and my mom told her she doesn’t plan on fighting it. Still, too often I never see parents until the day the courts want to strip them of their rights. Guardianship is a little different than termination of rights, though. Mom and Richard can technically request a hearing at any time. Andy believes Richard’s lawyers are telling him to leave it. The PR team is doing a great job of keeping Claire out of it, and if he tries to make trouble, having his daughter and stepdaughter speak out against him when he’s standing trial for being a thief, a crook, and a gigantic asshole in general is really bad for his image.
Andy officially moves out of our house and in with Sara. We’re working on having the mortgage transferred solely to me. It should be just a matter of having all the paperwork drawn up and both of us signing, but there’s one little hiccup. Actually, it’s a huge problem. I don’t make enough money on my own to qualify to take on the three hundred thousand dollar mortgage.
“Just ask him,” Andy groans while we’re having lunch together after court.
“I don’t know. We haven’t been together that long.”
“So what? Neither have Sara and I. He already lives with you, Kayla. You guys just don’t live together. What’s the big deal?”
“It’s a mortgage together. That’s a big deal.” I smother a French fry in ranch dressing and shove it in my mouth.
“You’re killing me, buttercup. The dude’s been begging to pay my portion of the mortgage for weeks. You’re not going to get approved without him.”
“I don’t want to ask him to move in and get a mortgage with me just so I can get approved!”
Andy sighs. “That’s not what I meant. Look, it’s up to you. I’m not in any hurry. I can even stay on the mortgage indefinitely if you want me to.”
Blowing out a puff of air, I pick up my sandwich. I know he’s right. I should just ask Dean. I don’t know what I’m afraid of.
“So,” Andy says with a grin, “what’s this I hear about you and me getting a baby brother?”
I smile back at him. “I certainly hope so.”
* * *
“We’ve got a new weekend guy!” Dean says when he gets home from work. Emily, Aiden, Dean, and Joe conducted interviews all last week. It was good because the boys are still home for the summer, so they had a chance to give a little input into who they liked and didn’t like. “Nice guy, too.”
“Is this the older guy or the dad?”
“The dad. The boys really liked him. I did, too.”
“That’s good.”
Dean flops down on the couch next to me. “Hi,” he says, pulling me into his arms.
“Hi.” My phone buzzes with a text from Karen. She’s just gotten off the phone with Sabrina.
Paperwork has been processed. Home visit on Thursday. I’m really nervous.
I type back quickly.
Don’t be nervous. It’ll be fine.
“What’s going on?” Dean asks, looking at me quizzically.
“Karen and my dad want to become foster parents.”
“Oh, yeah?” His expression brightens. I nod.
“Um, for one kid in particular.” His eyes narrow again.
“One of your kids?”
“Not exactly. One of yours.”
It takes him a minute before he understands. “Matty?”
I nod again. “If he wants to. They don’t want to force him.”
“How do they even know about him?”
“Mostly Logan, when they came over here for dinner a couple weeks ago. I didn’t really ask the details. Karen told me at lunch that they were interested, asked me a few questions. I told her to call Kate. I guess she did.”
“Are they going to adopt him?”
“They’re applying as a foster-adopt home, but, again, they want to leave it up to him.”
“Wow.”
“I know. They wanted to keep it a secret until they had everything ready to go.”
“So, do you want me to talk to him?”
“I’d like to do it. I’m just waiting for the okay from Sabrina. I’m guessing I’ll get it as soon as the home’s approved.” I lean back into him. His fingers trail up and down my arm. “What do you think? Are you okay with it?”
“Yeah. I think it’s great,” he insists. “Your dad and Karen can give him an actual home and stability. No matter how hard we try, we can’t compare to that.”
“You’ve done an amazing job,” I soothe.
“But you know just as well as I do that Matty never belonged at Wyatt House. A group home is a last resort, not a permanent solution.”
“I’m hoping Logan sees it that way. I’m a little worried about his reaction.”
“Don’t worry about him, babe. It’s time for the focus to be on Matty. I’m sure Logan will be fine. He wants Matty to have a family. He feels guilty about ta
king that away from him. And it’s not just any family, Kayla—it’s yours. If he can’t be adopted by you, I’m pretty sure being adopted into your family is the next best thing.”
“I hope so. So how was therapy?”
Dean kisses the side of my head. “Good. We talked about my parents.”
I don’t want to pry, but I am curious. He’s been really open with me about his sessions lately. They’ve spent some time working through the accident and the guilt. They’ve also worked on his feelings of self-worth, which are better, but he admits that he still struggles from time to time.
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“Yeah, actually. Colin thinks it might be beneficial for me to tell my parents the truth about my arrest.”
“Tell them the drugs weren’t yours?” I ask. He nods. This is something Dean’s been resisting for a long time. I don’t know why, but I know the idea agitates him.
“What do you think?”
“I think…” I hesitate for a second, trying to figure out if he wants me to tell him what I know he wants to hear or what I truly believe. “I think everyone deserves to know the truth,” I answer honestly.
“Does it even matter, though? It’s not like I can change anything.”
“I think it does. I’ve told you before that if you were my child, I’d want to know.”
“You don’t think it’ll hurt them?”
“What? That you kept it from them?”
“Yeah, that. And knowing that the way they reacted to me after that was based on a lie.”
I sigh. “It might, Dean, but it was a long time ago. You had your reasons for doing what you did. That’s something you’ve had to come to terms with, and they will, too. Just tell them.”
He leans in, planting a sloppy kiss on my mouth. “You’re brilliant, you know that?”
“Yep.” I grin. “But tell me more. Flattery will get you everywhere.”
“Everywhere?”
I giggle and wrap my arms around his neck. “Ev-er-y-where.”
“Mmmm, I like the sound of that.” He continues to maul me for a second before looking up. “Will you come with me?” The look on his face is so sweet and innocent, such a contrast to what he’s doing to me with his mouth.
“Absolutely, baby.”
* * *
“Matty, I want to talk to you.”
He looks over at me cautiously. “What did I do?”
“Nothing,” I laugh. He glances over at Sabrina and Dean, who are both sitting at the dining room table with us at Wyatt house.
“What’s going on, then?” His face suddenly turns ashen. “What did Logan do?”
“Nothing, honey. This is about you,” I soothe. “It’s not bad. At least…I don’t think it is.”
His jaw clenches. He’s still nervous.
“We have a placement for you,” Sabrina interjects.
Matty shakes his head emphatically. “I live here.”
“Just hear them out,” Dean says firmly.
“But I don’t want to go. You want me to leave?” he asks, looking at Dean with a hurt expression.
“Not at all,” Dean answers. “This is a different situation.”
“How is it different?” Matty’s skeptical, I can tell. I don’t want him to convince himself it’s something he doesn’t want before he’s even heard the details.
“It’s with my dad and stepmom,” I say quickly.
Matty narrows his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“We were having a family dinner about a month ago. Logan was talking about you to my stepmother, Karen. She and my dad want to meet you. They want you to live with them.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
I shrug. “That’s up to you. But we’d like you to at least meet them. They’re good people, Matty.”
He hems and haws for a few minutes, and then his eyes light up, like he’s just realized something. “So…if they adopt me…will that make me your little brother?”
I laugh. “Yes, it will in fact make you my little brother.”
Matty grins. “All right. I’ll give it shot.”
We spend the next couple of minutes figuring out the details. Matty wants me to be there. I’m okay with that. Whatever makes him most comfortable.
A few days later, I bring it up to Logan.
“They want to adopt him?”
“Maybe. He’s old enough now to decide if he wants to be adopted or not. Regardless, they’d like to foster him.”
“What if he screws up? Can he go back to Wyatt House? Or can I take him?” he asks.
I give him a funny look. Matty’s never really “screwed up.”
“I mean, what happens if they decide they don’t want him—that he’s too much?”
“Logan, I was no angel. They’re much better equipped now than they were back then. Trust me.”
“Yeah, but you’re their kid. It’s different.”
I decide to humor him. “If—and that’s a gigantic if because it’s not going to happen—but if there’s a problem, I’ll ask Sabrina to look at Wyatt House first. If that doesn’t work out, then we’ll see where you are. I don’t think that’s something you should worry about, though.”
“Okay. Then I think it’s cool. I like Karen. And your pops is pretty cool, too.” He grins widely, his dimples flashing. I roll my eyes, but I’m really happy Logan is supporting this. His encouragement will go a long way with his brother.
* * *
“Why are you so nervous?”
“I’m not nervous,” I lie. Dean pulls my thumb away from my mouth and looks at my nail. It’s chewed down as low as it can possibly go.
“Really?”
I snatch my hand back and frown. He laughs. We’re waiting for Aiden and Emily at Hudson’s. “You ever find out what happened to Gage?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Yeah,” Dean answers. “He’s in rehab. He got busted up pretty bad and landed himself in jail for ten days. Guess who bailed him out?”
I raise my eyebrows.
“Jodi,” Lance answers, sliding two beers over to us.
“Hey, man. I was wondering if you were gonna be in,” Dean says. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
Lance grins. “Yeah, another boy. Six pounds, seven ounces. Nineteen inches long. Perfect.”
“How’s Tina?”
“Good. She’s real good. Thanks. I was driving her crazy, so she sent me back to work.” We all laugh.
“So, are Gage and Jodi back on?” I ask.
Lance shrugs. “Who knows? She quit a couple weeks ago. We had a band in here that drew a big crowd. I think about six or seven guys she’d screwed were here at the same time. Freaked her out. Said she needed to move on.”
“But she bailed him out.”
“Yeah, I think she does care about him. He’s not a bad guy, especially when he’s sober. She came in to get her final paycheck and told me he’d gone into treatment. Let’s just hope it sticks this time. So, whatcha guys up to?”
“Meeting my brother and Emily.”
“Cool. Well, have fun. I need to go do schedules, but don’t let the bastard leave without stopping in.” He hits the bar next to the beers. “These are on the house.”
Dean looks at his watch. “Where the fuck are they?”
“They’re giving me time,” I answer almost in a whisper.
“Time for what?”
“Um. Can I talk to you about something?”
Dean suddenly looks concerned. “What’s the matter?”
“Why do men always think there’s something wrong when women want to talk?” I tease.
“Because that’s usually the case. Plus, you’re nervous.”
“I’m not—okay, I’m a little nervous,” I finally admit.
“About what?”
I take a long sip of my beer and then set it down, focusing on my hands. “How would you feel about moving in…permanently?”
“What do you mean ‘permanently�
��?”
“I mean replacing Andy on the mortgage. Make the house our house, not just my house.”
I hear Dean breathe out loudly. “You sure you want to do that? I can be a real bitch to live with.”
I glance up at him. He smiles.
I sigh dramatically. “Well, actually, no, I’m not sure. You’re right, I haven’t thought about it enough. Never mind.”
He reaches over, poking me in the ribs and making me giggle. “Seriously? That’s what you’ve been so nervous about?”
“Yes.”
Dean laughs. “Do you know how many times I’ve asked Andy if I could take over his part of the mortgage?”
I shrug. “He might have mentioned it. But this is more than that. I want your name to be on the deed. I know that’s a big commitment.”
“Kayla?”
“What?” I whimper.
“Shut up and kiss me.”
I do as he tells me, leaning in.
“Yes,” he whispers against my lips. “Name the time and place, and I will be there to sign.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Really? Do you two need a room?” I look over and see Aiden, his arm around his wife and a gigantic grin on his face. “So, what are we celebrating?”
* * *
We end up at Dean’s parents’ house for dinner the following Sunday. Working at Wyatt House again has definitely brought out the best in Joe. He’s laughing and joking more than I’ve ever seen before.
“How is work going for you, Kayla?” Maria asks, leaning forward in the living room chair.
“It’s okay,” I reply, trying to smile. Joe looks over at Dean, and out of the corner of my eye I see him nod.
“I’ve offered her the position, Dad.”
“Don’t put her on the spot,” Maria scolds.
“It’s okay.” I smile. “I’m still considering it. I just need to make sure I’d be taking the job for the right reasons.”
“That makes sense,” Joe says.
There’s an awkward silence. I’m not sure if it’s because no one knows what else to talk about or if they know that this isn’t just a run-of-the-mill family dinner.
