It was a real partnership, but it drove me crazy. To have her so close all the time, yet unable to touch her was a constant tease. Every time our hands brushed, a jolt rushed through me. It was addictive, and I chased every opportunity for those incidental contacts.
When things threatened to take a turn toward the inappropriate, one or both of us pumped the breaks and walked away. It was an unspoken agreement between us—we didn’t belong together, but we couldn’t stay apart. If the day came where neither of us could keep our wits about us, we were in trouble.
This drop comes in too hard and straightforward. I need to play with the bass line to get it melded better. Violin would go perfect here. Maybe I could get Kevin to record a little piece for me.
I spent my lunch breaks in the breakroom as usual, but I didn’t shoot the shit with the crew like I used to. With my laptop set up in the corner and my headphones, I couldn’t hear anything else but the music. I distanced myself from the crew without coming out and saying it. There just wasn’t time with all the hanging out and working with Leah and the musician group.
The response had been incredulity, at first. No one left the crew unless it was via the morgue. It had never happened before. We were tight—brothers for life. We had each other’s backs.
I’d already broken the creed when Recker had been shot beside me and I hadn’t run after the thugs who did it or try to get them back. They might have forgiven it as a temporary lapse in judgment, if nothing else had changed.
But that wasn’t the end of it; once Leah came into my life, I let myself be drawn further and further away. I didn’t even feel bad about it—I knew the crew was the symbol of stagnation in my life, a chain around my neck that wouldn’t let me climb out of gutter until I cast it off.
If only I didn’t have to work with the guys every day.
A rough shove into my back caught me off guard, and I nearly slammed my head into my laptop screen before I recovered. I half-turned in my seat and glared at Derek’s back as he walked by.
A part of me wanted to rip off my headphones and bellow a challenge. It’s what I would have done if someone did that a few months ago.
My fuse had gotten longer, tempered by more logic. Derek surrounded himself with the crew, guys who would back him up no matter what. None of them would stand with me against their ringleader even if they felt a little bad about the treatment I’d been getting.
Instead I turned back to my work, not letting their pettiness stand in the way of putting the finishing touches on the latest track.
I played it back and leaned back with my eyes closed. There was only one thing missing.
Definitely needs violin.
Exposure to real musicians had broadened my mind to the endless possibilities that opened up when real instruments were an option for a track. Just like vocals added a whole other layer that helped to pull everything together, a well-used instrumental hook could take a song from good to great.
Satisfied, I put away my things and went back out to the floor, not bothering to look toward what I knew would be the sullen expressions on the men who thought I’d betrayed them.
The shift passed quickly, my mind only half paying attention to the work at hand. The other half danced with melodies, bass lines, and a certain face and the expression I thought I’d see on it when I showed her my latest.
Is it any wonder I don’t feel fulfilled in a job where I can barely pay attention and still finish all my work, no problem?
I had a few more crates to move than anyone else. I’d told JJ that I didn’t mind taking on more work, although I didn’t tell him it was so I could leave after everyone else and not have to deal with their coldness while packing up. True to form, JJ didn’t offer to pay me for the extra time—if I volunteered to do more work, that was my problem.
Sweet silence greeted me when I stopped in to the breakroom to grab my bag. I stopped short.
It wasn’t on its hook.
I scanned the rest of the rack, and with everyone else gone and only a few other things hanging up, it was easy to see that the bag was nowhere to be found.
Dread filled my stomach, hot and uncomfortable.
“Where’s my bag?” I muttered under my breath. Everything else in it was replaceable, but it held my laptop and on it, my music.
I walked into the front office. “JJ, have you seen my…”
Outside the window was a wide parking lot. I walked up to the door, hoping that I didn’t see what I thought I saw.
Broken glass. Twisted shards of metal. Fractured pieces of circuit cards.
And the tattered remnants of my backpack, fluttering in the breeze.
“Sorry, lad,” JJ said, standing beside me and looking out into the parking lot. “I didn’t know what they were doing until it was too late.”
The strangeness of hearing actual concern from JJ barely registered through the mental shock that stuffed my head and puffed it up like it would burst.
“It had everything,” I said, as if JJ would know what I was talking about. “And it’s all gone.”
I’d heard of data recovery techs salvaging information from broken laptops, but this wasn’t broken.
It was destroyed.
25
~ Leah ~
“Oh, my God.”
“I don’t even know what to do now,” Chris said. “I feel lost. I haven’t transferred anything off the laptop in a month or two. All the latest tracks I’ve created, all of my best work—it’s gone.”
He looked defeated. It reminded me of when he’d first gotten the feedback from Kevin.
“Hey, now,” I said, trying to comfort him. “It’ll be all right. This just means you’ll have a blank slate to create something new. Something even better than what you had before. You have free license to make something truly unique now.”
“It’s not just that, although the music is a huge part of it.” He set his jaw. “Those bastards have crossed a line. If they’re willing to do something like that, then who knows what else they’ll do? I need to show them I won’t take this lying down.”
That was a dangerous train of thought. Over the past month Chris had opened up, and I knew that his old group of friends were the reason he was involved in all the wrong things when we met.
“Hey, don’t go doing something stupid,” I said. “Yes, they were tools and destroyed your property. But it’s because they’re jealous of you. They know that you are bettering yourself, and it makes them scared. If you can do it, then they have no excuse. You’ve taken their two-dimensional world and shown them there’s a whole other dimension they’ve never paid attention to until now.”
“I guess so.” He sighed. “I’m sorry to bring you down with all of this. You have more than enough going on yourself. The play is in a couple of weeks, you must be excited. How is everyone else doing?”
I’d told him my biggest fears—that the rest of the cast wasn’t up to the challenge of John’s script.
“They’re doing better. The extra time I’ve put in with the weakest links has been paying off. They’ve been stronger during rehearsals, and I’m thinking that we might pull this off.”
“That’s great to hear!” He smiled and put his hand on my knee like it was nothing.
The contact sent a shot of pure heat straight up my leg and to my core. A shiver ran through me, but I tried not to let it show. Even after all this time, it was hard to control myself. All I wanted were his hands all over me, touching and caressing my curves, gripping me, dominating me.
I needed to get my mind off of things.
“How do you like working with Liana? She’s a sweet girl, isn’t she?”
Chris narrowed his eyes as if he knew what I was up to. “I suppose so. She has a great voice. The lyrics we’re working on will take my songs to the next level. If I break out, I’ll owe a lot to her. And Kevin and Sean and the rest of the group.”
I pressed on. “You two must spend a lot of time together to record the tracks, don’t you
?”
“A decent amount. Less than you’d think.” He leaned back and tilted his head. “How are things between you and David?”
Busted.
He did that a lot. Turned the tables on me. It was frustrating, almost like I almost imagined having a brother would be like.
“He’s been trying to get me to agree to be exclusive even though I’m not seeing anyone else right now, anyway.”
David. A relationship with him would make sense. More sense than with Chris. It should have been a match made in heaven and given us everything we wanted.
“And? Are you going to do it?” Chris’ hand was still on my knee, delivering a steady supply of heat. The fire in his eyes was like the sun—it was difficult to stare directly at them.
“I don’t know,” I said as if I hadn’t decided yet. “He’s got a lot going for him. It wouldn’t surprise me if he ended up being the most successful guy from our year. He’s got a lot of talent.”
So much talent. In fact, Tyra had asked me why I wasn’t running lines with David instead of Chris. It would have made a lot more sense, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to spend so much time with my stepbrother. In fact, I spent more time with Chris than with anyone else, but it never seemed like it was enough.
“Besides,” I said, “I’ve only had time to go on a few dates, so we haven’t even slept together yet.”
I froze. I hadn’t meant to say that. From comments Chris had made here and there, I knew he assumed David and I had been screwing each other silly.
It didn’t faze him. Noticeably.
“Sounds like a good match. Although if both of you become big stars and are always off filming, would a relationship even last through that?” He said it as though it were just an innocent question. The way his ear twitched meant that he was waiting intently for my reply, I’d learned that much about him.
“I doubt it,” I said. “And we’re so young. If we dated, I wouldn’t expect it to last forever.”
Chris relaxed back into his seat a little.
“I have a surprise for you,” I announced into the silence that followed.
He raised an eyebrow. “A surprise? Am I going to like this surprise?”
“I hope so.” It had taken a lot of work and inquiry for me to arrange it, and I wasn’t sure how he would react. “I know it’ll be good for you, anyway.”
“Good for me? Are you going to tell me what this is all about?”
I shook my head and grinned. “I wanted you to be thinking about it. It’s been driving me crazy trying to keep it a secret, so I wanted you to suffer right along with me.”
“Have I ever told you you’re crazy?” he said. “Why don’t you just tell me?”
“I’m not one hundred percent sure it’ll come through, but it’s looking like it will. It would be even worse if I got your hopes up for no reason!”
He growled. I loved it when I made him do that. “Hopes up for what? Dammit, Leah!”
I thought he would pounce on me, and I waited with bated breath. If he jumped me right now, I didn’t think I could pull away. Not this time.
His entire body was tensed, and his eyes held mine. I couldn’t help it—I bit my lip.
“Fuck!” he yelled as he exploded out of his seat and walked away.
I let out the breath I was holding in a big shuddering gasp.
I need to ask Tyra where she bought Dudley.
I needed relief from the fire that consumed me, and if I didn’t get it from Chris then I’d have to turn to a stand-in.
26
~ Chris ~
I stood at the end of the street. The warehouse was a big block of a building, and I’d walked up to it countless times before.
Today was different.
Today I would have to face the crew after they had tried to destroy my music and break my soul.
I gritted my teeth and started to walk.
I’d come in late on purpose, so that everyone would be there when I got in. They would be right in the middle of their first break, which meant all the employees would be in the breakroom, talking about the Yankees game from the night before.
I expected JJ to say something when I walked in the door, but he merely looked at me and nodded. He knew something was up.
There was two ways to deal with someone like Derek. You could succumb to what they wanted, or you could fight them on it. There was no other way. Leah didn’t understand that, but I did. I’d been his friend for going on ten years, and I knew how his mind worked.
“Derek!” I yelled when I kicked open the door to the breakroom.
The light droning of the radio in the corner was the only sound. Three dozen men sat there, staring at me.
The crew were sitting at their table as usual. Derek, and Tim, and Pat, and Clark. Ronnie, and Joe.
There used to be two more. Recker. And me.
Derek rose to his feet. “What the fuck do you want, traitor?”
I barked a short laugh, devoid of humor. “Traitor? Are we seven years old, Derek? People can’t just drift apart and stop hanging out anymore?”
He rounded the table. The rest of the men looked on, quiet except for a few murmurs here and there. They were rough to the last man, and I fully expected that wagers were being laid that moment over which one of us got sent to the hospital this morning.
“And how can we trust someone who’s been with us through everything and then bails? How do we know you won’t go to the cops and try to get us busted for some stupid shit? We’re all in this together, Chris—that’s the pledge we all took. The one you turned your back on.” He walked right up and said the last as he poked his finger into my chest.
“Fuck your pledge,” I said as I pushed him back. “You’re just a bunch of nobodies going nowhere, and you know it. You’re stuck doing the same damn thing every day and every night and telling the world you’re having the time of your lives.”
Now I stepped up to him.
“I know the truth, Derek. All of you are just cowards, afraid to take a chance to better yourselves. And when you see someone else on their way up, you grab onto their ankles, trying to keep them down on your level.” I scoffed in disgust and turned away. “You’re jealous.”
“Jealous?” Derek roared. “Of what? Of you and your prissy little bitch?”
I whirled back around. “What?”
He laughed. “Oh, didn’t think we knew about her? Cute little package like that? Pat saw you guys together a month ago, so I took a look myself. Tight ass on her—congrats Chris. Not worth leaving your brothers behind for, though. Nothing’s worth that. You’re worse than nothing in my eyes. Maybe I’ll take her for a spin just to see what all the fuss is about.”
“Don’t you fucking dare.” My hands balled into fists, and I wanted nothing more than to bash his smug expression right off his face. I entertained the thought of knocking him down and punching him until there was nothing left to punch.
“What are you going to do about it, Chris?” Derek taunted. He knew he had the home ground. Even if I thought I could take him in a one on one fight, we both knew that if things got physical, there would be nothing fair about how it all went down. “Be glad we took our frustrations out on your computer. It could have been your teeth I stomped into the curb.”
I fucking hate him. I’d known for a long time that Derek was an asshole, but the depth of the loathing I felt caught me by surprise. Not only had he held me back my entire adult life, but now I’ve made changes for the better he threatened the foundation of my new life.
“Stay the fuck away from her,” I said, “and I’ll forget anything ever happened. I’ll forget you even existed. We’ll never have to cross paths again.”
“How are you going to do that, Chris?” Derek asked. He still had that stupid grin on his face. He was grandstanding for the audience, and he loved it. “You have to come in here every day. We’ll make your life hell, and I’ll enjoy it.”
“No. That won’t happen.”
�
��What are you going to do, quit?”
I nodded. I hadn’t decided before the confrontation, but it was a simple choice to make now. “Right now. I’m taking myself out of your way, Derek. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be. It’s not like you’d want me back in your crew now anyway, hanging out with you guys every night. It can never go back to how it used to be, not anymore. Just let me go.”
For the first time, he looked back at the rest of the crew.
“Fucking drop him!” Tim shouted.
Joe smacked him. “Just let him go, Derek. He was our friend, and now he’s not. That’s it.”
More of the guys nodded at Joe’s words than Tim’s, and Derek turned back.
“I guess we have our answer.” He waved everyone toward the door. “Show’s over, people. Let’s get back to work.”
Derek walked past me.
It’s over. I hadn’t expected it to go this well.
“Oh, Chris?”
I turned and a brutal shot to the gut leveled me.
There was too much pain in my system to control my body, and I dropped to the floor where I curled up into a ball around the pain in my stomach.
It was a hot knot that burned in my core and sucked the air out of my lungs. I gasped for breath, finding it hard to get any oxygen to my brain. Thinking was impossible.
By the time my vision cleared and the pain had faded enough to move, the room was empty.
I staggered to my feet and shuffled to the door. Before I left, I put my forehead against the cool cinderblock wall and tried to recover.
That asshole is dead. I would kill him this time. I really would.
No.
I couldn’t let myself be drawn into a losing battle. I had more to live for now than I did a few short months ago. That version of me no longer existed, and for good reason. This was the last cleansing of the bitter past that had held me captive for too long.
Bad Boy Boxed Set Page 38
