“Yes.” Annabelle glanced down at her lilac coloured skirts regretfully. If she needed to slip into this role, then she would have to. She had given herself no choice in the matter. “I think that you are right. I should get some clothes that make me look lower class. After all, that is what I am now.”
She still was not sure if she had come to terms with that yet, she still could not quite drop the ‘Lady’ title in her mind, but that would have to come soon enough. Soon she would be working in someone’s home, she would blend into the background, she would be treated with contempt and rapid dismissal once her work was done, just like the staff she had dealt with her entire life. Even she was guilty of not being as respectful as she should have been and it was time to be on the other side of that.
“But you are with me.” Floyd did not want Annabelle to feel bad, not now the steps had been taken. He expected moments of self-doubt to creep in, with the massive step they had taken there was no way she could be utterly emotionless, but it was his job to take care of her. He took that very seriously. “And I will take care of you. I will not let you down.”
“Thank you, Floyd Brewer.” Annabelle smiled through her fears and confusion. “I love you very much. I do not know what I would do without you. I am so glad that you decided to come with me.”
“I love you too, Annabelle Hathaway and despite everything, I am glad I came too. I just cannot wait until we have all our dreams come true.”
“Me too,” she replied with a smile. “I just know that everything will turn out well in the end.”
Chapter 18
As Annabelle glanced over at Floyd she felt utterly terrible. Things were not exactly working the way that she thought they would, and it was getting harder with every single day. She did not know that it was going to be such a challenge, in her young, naïve mind she assumed that things would fall into place if she wanted it hard enough.
Unfortunately, that was not the case.
"We will get a job soon," she said reassuringly while squeezing Floyd’s hand. “It will all be fine.”
Throughout everything, Annabelle was doing her utmost to remain positive. Even though they did not yet have a permanent place to live, and the money that her mother had given her was running out, it was still an adventure. She was away from home, seeing more of the world. It was all she had wanted for a very long time. Just because it was not exactly as planned, did not make it horrible.
At least I am not Lord Ashdown’s wife, she reminded herself constantly, any time a scrap of self-doubt crept in. It could be worse.
“I feel like I am letting you down,” Floyd replied, tight-lipped. “I should be able to take care of you. This is not right. I am a failure as a man because I cannot look after you.” He ran his eyes over the girl he fell in love with, hating himself for dragging her to so many places without any luck. He was not offering any money into the pot, and he suffered because of that. “I am terribly sorry, Lady Hathaway.”
“I am not a Lady anymore,” she replied with a much too bright smile. “This is not your fault, Floyd, I brought you out into the world with me…”
Her words trailed off as Floyd shook his head regretfully. He would not allow Annabelle to take all the blame. There were many things he could have done to stop it if he had tried hard enough. His desperation to be with this beautiful woman won though and drove him right into her arms.
“Annabelle, I just want to find a way for us to be happy, that is all. It is demoralizing to keep being turned down from place to place.”
He did not mean to get despondent, but it was overwhelming. He could feel the blocks of pressure piling onto his shoulders. The further they got into the countryside, the more luck he assumed that they would have. It was horrible that they had not.
“We will keep on trying,” Annabelle replied brightly. If she could just lift up Floyd’s spirits, then it would be alright. “There has to be somewhere for us, does there not?”
Floyd shook his head, trying his best to get rid of his negative thoughts. The last thing he wanted was to grow morose and ruin their lives even more.
“I do apologize,” he twisted his lips upwards to get a happy expression on his face. “I know that you are right. We will just keep on trying, eventually, we will get some luck. All I want is for you to be happy. You are happy?”
Annabelle did not mean to pause, but Floyd’s direct question threw her a little. Even though she knew she felt good by leaving her father’s restrictive rules behind, plus, of course, Lord Ashdown, there were things that held her happiness back, just a little bit.
She never realized how lucky she was before.
Before, in her house, she had endless space to move about in. There was so much emptiness that the Hathaway family did not know what to do with. Now, she had experienced the rookeries where hundreds of people with no money at all lived, all cramped together in smelly, dirty conditions. Annabelle had seen things that she had only heard about in whispered horror stories before. Men and women drinking too much and acting in a humiliating way in public as if they had no fear about their reputation at all. Women with cheap clothing and very thick makeup plastered across their faces, whom Floyd whispered to her were street girls. Young ladies forced to sell their bodies for money just to survive, an idea which sent a powerful, horrified shiver racing up and down Anabelle’s spine.
She had prepared herself to see people without the money for nice clothing and much food, but she had not been ready to see such a stark difference between the life she gave up and the one she was diving into head first. She would have been utterly foolish to not have some fears about that.
“I am happy,” she eventually told Floyd, needing to think only of the good things. “I am very happy to be with you.”
Floyd lifted Annabelle’s soft hand to his lips and he pressed a gentle kiss against her skin. “Then we shall make this work, I assure you. Soon, we will have everything worked out.”
This is good, Annabelle convinced herself. Floyd is happier now, this will be fine.
“I believe in you,” she told him firmly. “I know we can find the life that we desire.
She did not tell Floyd that she was not sure what life she wanted anymore. Annabelle could not lie to herself, the idea of having something similar to her old life was much more appealing than existing in the slums... but if that was what she ended up with then what could she do.
She had made this choice, now she needed to make the best of it in whatever way she could.
“We just need to keep on going until we find a home that is searching for two employees. It may feel like a challenge now, but soon we will look back at this time of our lives and laugh." No, that did not sound right, even Annabelle did not think she could convince Floyd of that one. “Or at least it will be a time that made us stronger.”
Annabelle leaned across and she pressed her lips up against Floyd’s gently. He still seemed stiff, she could tell that there was a lot of stress coursing through his body, but he at least kissed her back.
They still had love, if nothing else.
The house sat on the edge of a lake, causing its reflection to ripple as a light breeze flew through the trees. The brown bricks created a large square in the middle of lush greenery that seemed to stretch on for miles. As the sunshine glittered off the endless windows and bounced from the rounded turrets at the top of the building, it reminded Annabelle of a castle.
Maybe it was not as big as the home Annabelle had once lived in herself, and the land surrounding it was not as broad, but she was so happy to be here. It was much better than the places she had stayed in during the last few weeks.
“Our new home,” Annabelle declared happily as she ran her eyes over the place. Maybe it was not a house all for themselves, which they both would have preferred, but it was a lovely roof that would be over their heads. “Are you terribly excited?”
“I am nervous,” Floyd confessed, but at least he sounded pleased to finally have somewhere to live. "
But I am looking forward to spending time with horses again."
“Thank goodness they needed a stable boy.”
Annabelle did not mention her job, it was a little hard for them to discuss. To get the only job that Annabelle could possibly do, she had to reveal a little bit of the truth about herself to the master of the house. He did not need a maid or someone to work in the kitchens. The man was looking for a secretary for his legal company that he ran from home. To get that position, Annabelle had to confess to a good education, which she had to explain away. She did not tell the full truth, she never revealed her name or the fact that she had run away. Instead, she said that her father had passed away leaving the family in debt, so now she needed a job.
Maybe Mr. Brentwood did not believe her, but he was so desperate that he was willing to offer her the job and a place to live in the servants’ quarters. Out in the countryside somewhere, there weren’t any towns nearby anyway, so there was nowhere else that she could live.
It was perfect.
“Let us go inside, we need to settle our belongings in.”
The couple walked through the building, admiring the high ceilings, the intricate lighting fixtures, the red and gold wallpaper. The rug that splayed across the wooden floor looked too delicate for Annabelle to step on, she scurried around it rapidly.
"Look at all the pictures," she whispered, amazed to Floyd. "Do you think that painting on the wall is of his children?"
“You are not supposed to really look at anything,” Floyd hissed back quietly. “It is best not to see the house at all.”
“Oh... right.” Annabelle did not know what to think about that. She fixed her eyes on the ground, remembering who she was these days. “I see.”
“Come on, let us go to where we belong.”
Floyd dragged Annabelle towards the stairs and down to the servants’ quarters where he would feel much more confident. Floyd did not know how to behave in the luxury of the upstairs of a house, he only understood how to be among his own people.
Annabelle once again watched the colour of the house fade into whites, browns, and beiges. The luxury turned into simplicity. The plush chairs became hard, wooden structures that were designed for practicality rather than comfort.
The other staff members watched these new people infiltrating their quarters with sick curiosity. Annabelle wanted to put her head down, she wanted to run into a bedroom where no one could stare at her anymore, with so many eyes upon her she felt uncomfortable.
But Floyd made her stay.
“Hello...”
As he introduced them to all these new people, Annabelle could only look up through her eyelashes. Despite the fact that she had not been wealthy for a while now, she did not know how to speak to this group of people either. She was somewhere in the middle; she did not fit in with anyone anymore.
Will it always be this way? She thought sadly to herself. Will I never find anyone to connect with ever again?
“Hi,” a soft, female voice whispered behind her, interrupting her moment of potentially falling into a sad abyss. “My name is Violet.”
Annabelle found herself staring at a small, svelte young girl who appeared to be in her late teens. With her dirty blonde hair twisted up into a knot and her bright blue smiling eyes, there was something about her that put Annabelle at ease.
“Hello, Violet, I am Annabelle. It is good to meet you.”
Annabelle let go of Floyd’s hand and stepped away from the crowd. She wanted to speak to this girl, she felt much more comfortable with her one-on-one rather than dealing with everyone at once.
Violet extended her hand which Annabelle took. They shook and giggled at the strangeness surrounding them.
“Have you come from far away?” Annabelle nodded, not trusting herself to answer that question with words. “I am sure it must be strange for you, but this is a good place to work. The master is a good man.”
“What do you do here?” Annabelle asked cautiously.
“I am one of the maids. What shall you be doing?”
“I will be working as the master’s secretary.”
Annabelle held her breath as she waited for the awkward questions to come her way. She expected Violet to wonder who she was to land such a position... but fortunately, she did not question it at all.
“Well, it will be lovely to have you around, I look forward to it.”
Chapter 19
Annabelle shook out her hand as it ached from the typing. Surprisingly, she liked work more than she thought she would. It was fun to be able to use her brain in a way she never thought she would do. Annabelle actually had a purpose for all those years spent learning, which was fun, but it was tiring too. Yawns constantly threatened to reveal themselves at the worst time. Annabelle could not let them out because it would be rude, but they were there all the same.
Mr. Brentwood was a wonderful man, very nice to work for, but he was utterly dedicated to his profession. He worked late in the night more often than not. Clearly, that was how he had gone on to be so successful, but every so often it left Annabelle worn out and having not seen Floyd for days. He spent all his days outside, looking after the horses, and she spent all her time trapped inside this windowless room.
Annabelle saw more of the inside of his office than anywhere else. The large wooden desk which sat in front of his black cushioned chair was ingrained into her brain. Annabelle knew the title of every book that sat on Mr. Brentwood’s bookshelf, she had also memorized the intricate detail of the pattern on his green, glass lamp.
Annabelle knew the office better than her quarters. She was not sure that it was meant to be that way.
Still, I am not Lord Ashdown’s wife. That thought did not go anywhere.
In a way, now that she and Floyd had stopped in one place for a while, Annabelle was stunned that they had not run into more trouble. She had not expected her father to allow her to leave so easily.
Maybe he has told people that I am no longer alive, she thought morosely. He would prefer that than to losing the family reputation.
That meant he would never come looking for her, but it also meant that she was so unimportant to him that he did not care. It gave Annabelle what she wanted, but it also left her with the hollow sensation that she was never really loved.
At least mother loved me, I will always have that. Anyway, it is much better now. This is what I have been searching for.
“Are you okay, Annabelle?” Violet hissed as she found her alone in Mr. Brentwood’s office. He had gone off for what Annabelle assumed was a brief bathroom break, which meant she could have a little moment to herself too. “How is work going?”
She opened her mouth to complain about her aching arm but shut it rapidly as she saw the sweat pouring down Violet’s forehead and the redness to her arms from where she’d been scrubbing the floor so hard. Again, she did not have it the hardest so there was no point in moaning.
“I am good, thank you for asking, Violet.”
Annabelle smiled warmly at her new friend. Having her around made her feel so grateful. She still had not managed to connect so much with the other staff members, she could not shake off the feeling that she was not ‘one of them’, but with Violet, Annabelle was happy.
“How is your day?”
"Oh, busy, you know how it is." Violet offered her friend a one-shouldered shrug. “Lots to do as always. It is never as thrilling as the things you see.”
Annabelle nodded but remained tight-lipped. She did not like to burst Violet's bubble by revealing that most of what she typed was dull and that even with her education she did not understand it all.
“Do you think you shall be finished for the day soon? It would be lovely to see you for dinner.”
Annabelle was still adjusting to the new meals in this house. Being back in such a wonderful establishment, she assumed that the food quality would rise. After all, in the Hathaway home, she was always fed the most wonderful meals. She quickly learned that the same quality
was not offered to the staff, they got the colder leftovers.
“I shall try, but I cannot be sure.”
They heard footsteps coming through the hallway, Mr. Brentwood was on his way back. Instantly they returned to professional mode as if they did not share a friendship at all. There was a chance that Mr. Brentwood would not mind them sharing a talk, but they did not want to risk upsetting him.
Mr. Brentwood’s commanding presence entered the room, he filled it with the way he carried himself with his shoulders held high and his arms tucked behind his back. His expression was stern, but Annabelle knew that did not mean he was angry, just that he was focused on something in particular. She had gotten to know his moods well over time, and this was not a bad one.
Because Mr. Brentwood worked from home, even when he did not have clients coming in to see him, he wore a stark, black pinstripe suit. His navy blue cravat was tied in a perfect knot, and he always had a few millimeters of his cuff showing. Just enough to see the bejewelled decoration. Annabelle had never seen him in anything other than his smart, black shoes which clipped when connecting with wood.
His greying hair was thinning on the top of his head, but his sideburns dangled down low, showing absolutely no sign of shedding. His wrinkled skin showed off his age, but his warm brown eyes had a youthfulness to them. It was almost as if there was a younger man trapped inside that much older body.
Annabelle felt like the man had a lot of life stories that she desperately wanted to hear. Maybe one day the right moment would come along and she could ask him where he had been.
“Have you finished that typing?” he asked gruffly. “I have some filing that I require completed before my meeting tomorrow morning.”
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