It scared the hell out of him.
The mirror fell from his hands. Hot tears flowed from the left eye only. He had no sensation in his right. The blackness was without reprieve. The harsh reality of his current medical condition crept up on him, making a sneaky little cackling sound. Telling him he was an idiot to expect the fame and honor and glory of being a SEAL. He’d been altered, damaged, and would never be the same.
He heard someone sobbing and realized it was he. His breath hitched as the air sputtered in and out from his mouth, from lips that would not close. One of the doctors patted him on the shoulder.
“Zak, we know it’s a lot to take in. We are going to do everything within our power to improve the appearance. We have lots of things we can do, but you’ll be in for a whole stream of surgeries. We can’t do much more until we find out about that eye. There’s a good chance you’re going to lose it, Zak.”
“Go away. Leave me alone,” Zak sobbed. What he wanted to say was, “Go away and let me die,” but he was too proud to do so.
He felt something cool go into his arm. He would have felt grateful if he knew the drug would take away his monster face. But nothing could do that. Now a freak, a victim of some crazy’s gun, battered, soul shaken, he just couldn’t quit.
He might not look like one, but he was still a SEAL.
Chapter 15
Amy got the call she’d been waiting for at three am.
“Amy, this is Kyle.”
She bolted out of bed. “Kyle! Is he okay? How badly is he hurt? When can I talk to him? Should I get a ticket and come to Germany?”
“Hold on, Amy. I understand you are in Santa Rosa. Sorry to hear about your father.”
“He’s going to be okay, Kyle. But why haven’t I heard from Zak?”
“He’s hurt pretty bad, Amy. I haven’t seen him yet, but I’ve been talking to his medical team. We’re going to try to see him in a week if we can wrap up things here.”
“Hurt bad? I understand he was shot in the leg? Oh my God, he isn’t going to lose his leg, is he?”
“No, Amy. That’s all going to be okay. His leg and arm are fine. We’re used to this kind of trauma over here, unfortunately.”
“So what? You said he was hurt bad. You mean his face injury is bad?”
“Yes, unfortunately.”
She was sweating, streams running down from her armpits. Her heart pounded, sending a deafening roar to her ears. Her fingers trembled as she clutched the phone. She switched it to speakerphone so the booming in her ears didn’t block the signal. Her voice was unrecognizable, frog-like and shaky. “Tell me, Kyle.”
“He may lose his eye. He’s had a lot of reconstructive surgery to his face and will have to have lots in the months, perhaps years, to come. It’s a long difficult road, Amy. You’re going to have to be very, very strong for him.”
Her world collapsed. Every single one of her fears, the things she’d pushed outside her head, came rushing in.
Blind. He’ll be blind in one eye. But he’ll be alive!
She clung to the good news. “Kyle, I’m in it for the long haul. We’ll get through it. I know we will.”
“I’m glad you feel that way, Amy. We’re going to see about getting you over here to Germany, and I’m going to talk to Zak about it when I see him. In the meantime, he’s being kept very quiet, so he gives his eye the best chance of recovery. They aren’t letting him get up or move much. They want him to rest. There’s a huge risk of infection, too, so they’re monitoring the surgery. Lots of stitches, Amy. I’m told over a hundred, counting the ones on his leg and forearm.”
“A hundred?”
“Yes. He got pretty badly beat up. He’s lucky to be alive. The projectile was a high velocity type. If it had hit him square anywhere, it would have left a hole the size of my fist. But we think it ricocheted, and that slowed it down. Even then, it did a lot of soft tissue damage, and that’s why the eye was affected.”
“But he hasn’t lost his eye.”
“No. But we’re not sure if it will survive. You’d best be prepared for a long convalescence and a lot of difficult days for Zak. He’s not going to like what he gets. And he’s going to need someone strong to help him get through it.”
She’d signed on to this. She’d promised. Said she could handle it. It wasn’t what she’d planned, but she knew in her heart she had the strength to deal with it.
“Now, tell me about your dad. What’s the latest?”
“He was trying to be the last Latin lover. New girlfriend, you know. He was taking some herbal Viagra, and even though it says he shouldn’t take it without notifying a doctor, my dad, well, he’s stubborn. Plus, he’s on blood pressure medication.”
“I can totally understand, Amy. So he’s ready to come home soon, then?”
“Yes. And though I’d love to stay, he has a girlfriend who wants to dote on him. I’m hoping Gina will help me invent some argument to allow her to do this. Then I can come back to San Diego.”
“Good. Well, I hope that works out. You need to be back there. It will be awhile before Zak gets here, but there are things you’re going to have to look into and resources we have as a community. We need to make sure all the ducks are in a row for his rehab. Our work is done here, and we’re just finishing up a few things, doing some advisory things I can’t talk about. So we’ll probably be home sooner than we thought.”
“How did it go?”
“You know I can’t talk about that.”
“Yes. Sorry.” She sighed. Her heart had calmed down a little. Suddenly, the fierce talk with her dad didn’t seem like such a big thing to her.
“You okay? Make sure you remember who and what you are. You’re the wife of a Navy SEAL. He picked you because you are strong. You already proved that with the San Francisco terrorist attack. This is a different kind of strength. And there’s the issue of Zak and how he feels.”
“I know him. He loves his SEAL community and the brotherhood. It’s the most important thing in his life.”
“We don’t live forever and things happen. He’s alive. We just want him to have the best future he can have. And we want you a part of that, too. We don’t leave anyone behind, even if they are no longer SEALs. They’re still part of the family.”
Amy tried not to let Kyle’s words distress her. But she heard loud and clear; he was telling her Zak might be so injured that he wouldn’t be able to serve. On top of losing an eye, that could be perhaps the biggest wound of all.
Three hours later, she got another call. “Amy, this is Gina. Christy told me about Zak. I’m so sorry, honey. Is this too early to call? I understand you’rein California?”
“Yes. Thanks so much.”
“What can I do for you?”
“Sorry, Gina. I’m a little out of it this morning.” Amy checked the clock beside the bed. Marlene was supposed to drop by for a few minutes to get some things for her father. Then she was going to meet with the Chambers before going to the hospital. The call with Kyle was a distant memory. Did it really happen? Her eyes were puffy now. Yes, it had happened, and she’d cried herself to sleep afterwards.
She had just enough time to shower and throw on some clothes. “I overslept. So I’m glad you called. Wow.”
“Oh God, Amy. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and all by yourself, with your dad in the hospital. You’re wise to get rest. You’ve been hit with a double whammy. So tell me how I can help.”
Amy wondered how much of Zak’s condition Gina knew.
“Well, with this heart attack, his doctor mentioned to me he was going to recommend my dad retire. As you know, being the Chief of Police here in Santa Rosa, you can imagine, he’d rather have all his teeth pulled from his skull without anesthesia.”
“Yeah, a dedicated man. One of the good guys.”
“Exactly. So I wondered if you could give me any tips on convincing him.”
“Boy, that’s a tough one, Amy. Let me ask you this. Does he have a life ou
tside his police work?”
Amy was going to keep his secret, but she’d already let Kyle in on it, so she reluctantly answered Gina’s question truthfully. “He has a girlfriend. That’s how he got into all this mess with the herbal Viagra. It interfered with his blood pressure medications. He’s trying to be a thirty-year-old man again.”
Gina laughed. “How old is your dad?”
“Sixty-seven.”
“He have a protégé? Someone he feels good about passing the baton to?”
“Not that I know of. No, I think he figured he’d die in that job.” The word stuck in her throat, and tears threatened.
“We don’t say that. That’s not going to happen.”
“Sorry.” She knew Gina was right.
“Too bad his girlfriend couldn’t sort of distract him, lure him with tales of sailing off to exotic places. You know, honey bee stuff.”
“I’m sure she’d be good at it.”
“I think that’s your ticket. I can’t think of any logical reason he’d want to retire, unless he expected to do something more fulfilling in the future. Does that help?”
“Yes, it does. Can they force him to retire like that? I mean, if the doctor writes something up, does he even have a say in the matter?”
“He might find ways to suppress that information, but no, he’s past retirement age. A lot of guys go out on disability and then retire.”
“I’ve heard of that. Don’t think he’ll do that. He’ll hang on as long as he can.”
“Then you get the girlfriend in on it. You like her?”
“She’s great. Wonderful woman. A little younger.”
“All the better.”
“She and I get along well. We’re only about fifteen years apart. And she has no family of her own.”
“I think you have your solution.”
“Thanks, Gina. You heard from Armando?”
“Yes, he called me just before I dialed you. They had a rough go over there. The other SEAL injured is being released today and flying home.”
“Who is it?”
“Alex, you know, one of the bachelors who used to live with Lucas?”
“I met him at the Cooper’s party.”
“Yes, and he was at the wedding, too.”
“So when did he say they come home?”
“Not sure. Maybe two weeks, or less. I hope less. The baby could come at any time.”
Amy admitted to herself she was a bit jealous.
She heard a car outside. “Gina, I have to run, but thanks so much.”
“For what? I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did. I’ll be back down there as soon as I get my dad situated.”
“You let me know. Amy, we’ll all help you. We do this together. Just want you to know you are not alone. You’re one of us now.”
She could hardly sign off, there were so many tears.
After hanging up the phone, she collected herself, wiped her cheeks, and jumped into the shower. Amy needed the strength the warm water would give her, as well as a place to finish her crying. She knew Marlene would use her key to get in.
She was drying off when Marlene poked her head in. “Sorry.” She covered her eyes.
“Oh, please. Don’t be silly. I’ll be right out.”
Dressed and clean, Amy went in search of Marlene and found her in the kitchen making coffee.
Marlene’s red hair and coral lipstick set off her peachy complexion. Amy could see why her father was so smitten with her. Her young vibrance would be good for him, she thought. Thinking about the bounce in her father’s step, she realized she hadn’t seen it for several years, ever since her mother started her slow decline and eventual death from cancer. She cheerily brought Amy a steaming cup of coffee loaded with cream, just like she liked it.
Amy finally put into words what she’d been grasping for. “Thanks, Marlene. It’s been wonderful having you here. Makes all this with my dad easier for me.”
“Ahh, sweetie,” Marlene said, setting down her own coffee cup. With a palm to Amy’s cheek, she said, “Anything I can do to help, name it. You know I think the world of your dad, and taking care of you, too, is just part of what I love doing. Never had my own family, something I now regret.”
The two women hugged.
“How’re you holding up, hmm?” Marlene brushed the hair from Amy’s face, angling her head to the left and studying her carefully.
“Zak’s LPO, that’s—”
“I know what that is.”
“Well, Kyle called me early this morning, and Zak might lose his eye. He’s got a lot of facial reconstruction ahead of him. Surgeries and the like. His leg and arm will be okay, but his face, especially the eye—” Amy broke off and turned her back to Marlene.
Sadness slipped between the two of them as Amy began to miss her mother, and she felt hot tears on the brink of bursting. Marlene kept her distance, sensing her need to be private and careful. “You go ahead and cry, sweetie. You have a lot to deal with right now.”
Come on, Amy! Where’s that strength you told Kyle you had?
She ground her teeth and turned back to Marlene. “There’s a lot for me to prepare for in San Diego. I’m not going to be able to stay here much longer. I have to be there when Zak comes home. They might even get me on a plane to go see him in Germany and travel back to the states with him.”
“I understand. Don’t worry about Allister. I’ve got him taken care of.”
“You know how stubborn my dad can be.”
“Oh, I know, yes!” Marlene’s eyebrows rose as she sipped her coffee. “He covers up a tender heart.”
“I had a frank discussion with his doctor yesterday, and he indicated he might write up a recommendation he retire. I brought up his convalescence to Dad, and he thinks he’ll be back to work as soon as he gets out of the hospital. But the doctor says definitely not.”
Amy took her coffee mug and collapsed into a chair at the dining table facing the kitchen. Marlene took a seat across from her, her unwavering eyes showing strength. “I agree. I think he should start to retire before the job kills him. The pills are one thing, but it was the kind of scare we all should pay attention to, especially him. I’m going to work on that, Amy.”
“He also doesn’t want anyone being his nurse. Thinks he can do it all himself.”
“I’ve already heard this two or three times. This is nothing new, sweetheart. I’m ready for him.”
Amy was relieved. Marlene had the backbone she’d hoped for. Recalling her conversation with Gina, a crooked smile formed on Amy’s face.
“Whatever are you thinking, Amy?”
“My friend suggested you would be the ticket to get my father out of the station. I think she was right.”
Marlene leaned back in her chair, a hint of a blush streaking across her cheeks. “We have a healthy sexual relationship. I hope you’re okay with hearing that. He doesn’t really need the pills. I guess it’s my job to make him understand and then to believe that.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Not a bad problem to work on, right?”
But Amy wasn’t thinking about her dad and Marlene in the bedroom. She was wondering what it would be like to have Zak home.
Chapter 16
The nurse brought Zak an unexpected visitor, Alex Kowicki.
“Hey there, stud, you looking for sympathy from the pretty nurses with all your bandages and shit?”
Zak held up his three finger salute.
“So that answers that question.”
“What question, asshole?” Zak was surprised even the sight of Alex didn’t cheer him up.
“Well, see, there’s two kinds of patients. There are good patients who do everything the doctors tell him to do. They get better, make everyone around them feel better, and no one likes to see them go. And then there are nasty patients, and a lot of men are this way. When they go—”
“You seen what my face looks like?” Zak interrupted.
“Of course not. You’re into sh
ow and tell now? What am I supposed to do, Zak? I came by here to pay my respects.”
“I’m not dying.”
“You sure?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Why didn’t I see this before? You were never this ornery. Or were you?”
“I never looked like a freak. Maybe I’m just matching my insides with my outsides.”
“Your choice, man.”
Zak wished he could sit up. “Look, Alex. Thanks for coming. I’m not very good company. They won’t even let me sit up yet. I can’t do anything but lie here.”
“Read a good book. You want me to get some of those raunchy German flesh magazines?”
“Read. With one eye?”
Alex sat down, letting out a puff of air. “Zak, you don’t know you’re going to lose the eye. At least you haven’t lost your legs or hands. At least you don’t shit in a colostomy bag every day because your guts were all blown up. You’re not in a wheelchair for Chrissakes.”
Zak’s ego couldn’t stand any more of it. He ripped the tape off his facial bandage, flung it to the floor and sat up, despite the warnings not to. “I could get a job in Hollywood with this fuckin’ face!”
Alex stood up, swallowing, trying to hide his shock. It was something Zak knew was impossible to do.
“So you tell me now I should be grateful I survived. Go ahead. Give me that stupid ‘oh, it could have been worse’ shit.”
“Dayam, Jell-O. I think you’re right. You’d be perfect for a zombie movie. To hell with the SEALs. You do have a new career ahead of you.”
Zak reached for his water pitcher and threw it at Alex, missing. The plastic container hit the wall next to the open doorway, water splashing all over the floor and out into the hallway.
“Now get the fuck out and leave me alone.”
Nurses began to enter the room. They summoned housekeeping and began scolding Zak about his removal of the bandage. He lay back, closed his one eye, and listened for Alex’s departure.
True Blue SEALs: Zak (True Navy Blue #1) Page 18
