by Scott, Lisa
Julie turned around and scanned the ballroom, wondering who her targets would be. It wasn’t easy, setting up two strangers. Usually, they were strangers to Julie, too.
Sometimes, just getting the two people to start chatting was enough for them to hit things off. If that didn’t work, she had to strike up a friendship with each person, then invite them both out to the same place and introduce them. That was a lot of work. Occasionally, nothing she did worked, leaving an angry ghost who would go all poltergeist in her apartment until Julie threatened the ghoul that she wouldn’t help again unless the paranormal harassment ended.
Grandma reappeared with a tiny transparent white-haired lady by her side. “This is Madge,” Grandma announced.
“Nice to meet you.” Julie stuck out her hand, then quickly smoothed her hair back as she remembered her fingers would pass right through Madge’s.
“Oh, she’s a pretty lass,” Madge said to Grandma.
“She takes after me, that’s for sure. But the poor thing got ankles from her father’s side of the family.” Grandma sighed.
Death doesn’t change a person, Julie thought. “Can we critique my appearance some other time? They’ll be tossing the garter soon and I need to get work.”
“Very well. See that gal with the curly black hair on the dance floor? That’s my granddaughter Philomena. Cute as a button, but not a good housekeeper. Horrible cook. I don’t know how she’ll ever find a man with those domestic skills of hers.” Madge clucked her tongue. “I’ve tried tidying up her apartment when she’s not there, but it just scares the wits out of her when she comes home. You and your grandmother are lucky you have this connection. Not everyone can see the dead, you know.”
“Oh, I’m aware of that,” Julie said. “So, who do you want me to set her up with?”
“That dark-haired fellow at table twelve.”
Julie looked in the direction Madge’s shaky finger pointed and raised her eyebrows. The guy was good looking. He was talking to an older woman next to him, and they were smiling and laughing. “Who is he?”
“That’s Phil Matthews. He lives right here in Boston. He’s my neighbor’s grandson. I tried appearing to her to see if she could set things up, but no luck. She couldn’t see me.”
“What made you decide he was the one for Philomena?” Julie asked.
Madge raised an eyebrow. “Look at him.”
True, he was handsome. “Handsome doesn’t always mean nice.”
“But this one was a little nerd growing up, so he’s got some character. He didn’t always look like this. He’s kind. He holds doors open. He’s got empathy. I’ve seen him brake for squirrels.” Madge nodded with approval.
Top man hunting priority I’ve ever heard, Julie thought. “Do they know each other?”
“If they did would I be here bothering you when I could be haunting the Bucket of Babes?”
Julie almost dropped her drink. “Isn’t that a strip club?”
“It certainly is,” Madge said, jutting out her chin.
Julie tried not to think about this little old lady ghost whizzing around a strip joint.
“A bunch of us do every once in a while,” Grandma said. “It’s a hoot.”
“Why in the world would you do that?” Julie asked.
“We only spook the ones with wedding rings. Maybe we can scare them back to their wives. We’re trying to make the world a better place,” Grandma explained.
“Believe me, there’s no rest for the dead,” Madge said.
Grandma nodded. “We’re ghosts on a mission.”
Julie held up a hand. “Just to be clear, I’m not helping you with that.”
Grandma stuck out her tongue. “You’re no fun.”
“Now, back to Philomena and Phil.” Julie scrunched her eyebrows together. “Wait. Are you sure you want to set them up with those names?”
“It’s cute,” Madge said.
“Please tell me that’s not the only reason you think they’d be a good match.”
“It’s one of the reasons, but he’s a good guy, too. I’ve been following him, and he eats plenty of fiber, he exercises, and he puts the toilet seat down in his own apartment even though he lives alone.”
Julie turned to her grandmother and gasped. “Grandma! You said you ghosts stay out of the bathroom!”
Grandma looked offended. “I said, I do. I can’t speak for everyone.”
Madge frowned. “I walked in on him once. All I saw was his very nice behind. Another reason to set them up.”
Julie rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. “So what’s their connection to the wedding?” That might help Julie break the ice. Announcing that someone’s dead grandmother wanted to set her up with a hot guy just didn’t work. She’d tried it before.
“Phil is a cousin to the groom, and Philomena went to college with the bride,” said Madge.
Julie stood up and smoothed her dress. “All right then, I’ll get to work.” Philomena was closest, so Julie headed across the room toward her first. She’d use the old, “Don’t I know you?” ploy. Worked with both men and women.
And then a blond-haired guy approached Philomena and tugged her onto the dance floor.
Grandma and Madge appeared next to Julie.
Startled, Julie yelped.
“Not him!” Madge cried. “That’s her ex-boyfriend. He’s a weasel. Get him away from her!”
“I set people up, I don’t break them up,” Julie said out of the corner of her mouth.
“But you can’t set her up with Phil if she’s with Bob again,” Madge said. “You need to stop them. You need to stop them now!”
“Fine, now will you two disappear? You’re distracting me.” Grumbling to herself, Julie boogied her way on to the dance floor, wondering what she could say to get those two apart.
She dodged a drunk forty-something looking guy headed her way, and wedged herself between a group of dancing teenaged girls. They looked at her like she had four eyeballs and quickly pulled out their phones and started texting, probably about the lame old lady who just busted up their groove. Because twenty-seven was ancient, right? Not wanting to end up on Instagram, she kept dancing until she was next to Philomena and Bob.
Philomena flashed her a look, while Bob checked out Julie’s boobs. Madge was right. Bob was no good. She had to come up with something to keep them apart.
Taking a deep breath, Julie got ready to spin her lie. She pointed at Bob and said, “Didn’t I meet you last week?”
Bob’s eyes widened. “No.” He sounded uncertain.
Jerk probably met so many women he can’t recall if I was one of them, Julie thought.
Philomena stopped dancing. “You said you’ve been sitting home depressed because we broke up.”
Bob’s mouth opened and closed, but he didn’t deny having gone out.
Julie rubbed her chin. “I’m sure we danced somewhere downtown. I was too drunk to remember though.” She lowered her voice. “We didn’t go home together, did we?”
Balling up her fists, Philomena glared at him and stalked off the dance floor.
Bob looked back and forth between Julie and Philomena, as if deciding which woman to pursue. He shrugged and started dancing in front of Julie. “Good news, looks like I’m back on the market,” he said.
Julie held up a finger. “Not so fast. I only came over here to tell you not to call me.” She wrinkled her nose. “You’re a lousy kisser.” While Bob stood there blinking, she spun on her heel and marched off the dance floor looking for Philomena.
When the song ended, the DJ addressed the crowd. “Ladies, ladies, ladies, one more song then we’re lining up for the battle of the bouquet…the fight for the flowers. So go fix your hair, dab on some lipstick or whatever it is you do when you all scurry to the bathroom together, and we’ll see you back here in five minutes.”
Julie figured the bouquet toss would be a good opportunity to talk to Philomena again. But first, she wanted to introduce herself to P
hil.
She scanned the room and spotted him at the bar. She snagged the spot next to him and ordered a drink. He was even cuter close up. Philomena would be a lucky woman if she could pull this off. She turned to him and tilted her head. “Don’t I know you?”
He blinked at her a few times. “I don’t think so. If I met someone as beautiful as you, I’d remember it.”
She sucked in a breath and reminded herself she wasn’t the one being matched up with him. Sometimes guys got the wrong idea when she approached them, so she had to be sure not to show any interest. “Do you go to the Y in East Boston?” That’s the gym she’d go to if she had time to work out.
“I do.”
“Oh.” Imagine that. Shit. Now she’d probably have to join if she couldn’t set them up tonight. “I guess that’s where I’ve seen you.” She held out her hand. “I’m Julie Lawson.”
“Phil Matthews. Nice to meet you. How do you know the wedding couple?”
“The bride is the daughter of my dad’s best friend. And you?” Even though she already knew.
“The groom is my cousin.”
“Where’s your date?” She wanted to be sure he was solo. Some women can throw a mean punch, and while she was willing to help dead people play matchmaker, she wasn’t willing to get injured in the process.
One corner of his mouth curled up. “I’m here alone. And you?”
Not exactly alone, she thought, glancing over at Grandma. “No date for me, either.”
He grinned. “To be completely honest, I’ve been hanging out with my grandma, so I’m not totally alone.”
She smiled. “You’re alone enough.”
His beautiful hazel eyes locked on hers. “I’m starting to like this wedding a lot more.”
“Me too.” She should stop flirting, but he was so handsome, and his voice was mesmerizing, like he whispered to horses, maybe. She had to remember he was earmarked for Philomena. But, if she didn’t get to know him, how could she introduce him to Philomena? Right?
“I have yet to find a partner to do the chicken dance. You interested?” he asked. “Grandma can’t keep up, so I’m kinda stuck.” He shrugged as if to say, “What’s a guy to do?”
Julie twisted her lips, thinking. “Tonight I’m available for the chicken dance, the hokey pokey, and the electric slide.”
“Guess it’s my lucky night,” he said.
“It could be.” Agh! What am I doing? She had to refocus and figure out how to set him up with Philomena.
The DJ called the ladies to the dance floor for the bouquet toss. Time to make her move and get Philomena in the game.
She pushed her drink in front of Phil. “Guard my drink for a few minutes?”
He saluted her. “I’m on it. Just make sure you come back.”
She looked back at him and grinned. “I will.”
Julie hurried onto the dance floor where the ladies were lining up. She positioned herself next to Philomena.
Philomena looked at her and frowned. “Where’s Bob?”
Julie shrugged. “I don’t care. He’s a jerk, isn’t he?”
Philomena sighed. “Yeah, I guess he really is. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have dumped him.” Philomena looked back at the bar where Phil stood. “You with that guy?”
“Umm….”
He waved and Philomena sucked in a breath. “He’s cute.”
Well, this was going to be easier than she’d imagined. But Julie’s heart tugged a little at the thought of handing over a handsome squirrel-saving, chicken-dancing guy like Phil. “That’s Phil. He’s a really nice guy.”
Philomena tipped up on her toes. “Seems like a hot guy, too.”
“Yes, he does,” Julie said, annoyed Philomena was scoping him out despite all appearances he was with Julie.
The DJ came to the microphone. “All right ladies. No biting, no fighting—it’s time for the bouquet toss!”
“I’ve never caught the bouquet,” Julie told Philomena.
“Maybe it’ll be your lucky day,” Philomena said.
A lucky day would have me leaving with Phil. Julie’s eyes widened. Hopefully Madge hadn’t heard her thought.
The DJ counted down, and the bride tossed the flowers. They sailed toward Julie, and she reached for them, her fingertips grazing the pale pink roses…until Philomena snatched them from in front of her.
“Hey!” Julie protested.
“Sorry, but I go after what I want.” Philomena held the flowers over her head, parading around the dance floor with her prize.
Then find your own guy, Julie thought. But when she spotted Grandma and Madge watching from across the room, Julie headed back to the bar for her drink and her matchmaking duties.
“You were robbed,” Phil said upon her return.
“I know. I was going to file an official complaint with the DJ, but I was more interested in getting back here.” Clearly, her inner flirt was taking over for the night.
He grinned and slid the drink in front of her. “You got robbed out there. Can’t believe that woman swooped in like that.”
This was the perfect moment to set Madge’s match in motion. But another ghost was toying with her at the moment—the ghost of her childhood self who always gave up the toy for the pushy friend or handed over the last lollipop to her little sister. “Yeah, what a jerk. I don’t even know who she is,” Julie lied.
He opened his mouth as if to say something when the DJ piped up again. “All right, single men, get on the dance floor and see if you’ve got what it takes to snag the garter!”
Most of the guys headed for the middle of the room, but Phil stayed at the bar, drinking his beer.
“Aren’t you going to get out there?” Julie gestured to the dance floor.
“And give up my spot next to you?” He grinned. “No way. I thought I was going to lose you during the bouquet toss.”
Her heart felt like it could float right out of her chest. “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t catch it. Because we need to warm up for a night of crazy dancing.”
That’s when Madge and Grandma appeared in front of her. She gasped.
“Are you all right?” Phil asked.
Eyes wide, she nodded. “Thought I saw someone I knew.”
“Like a ghost?” he joked.
“Kind of.” She gulped.
“Julie, you are not holding up your end of the deal,” Madge barked.
“So, we were talking about dancing?” Julie said to Phil.
“Right. Chicken and assorted others. I have older sisters who always forced me to be their partners at events like this.”
Julie laughed.
“Tell him about Philomena,” Madge said.
Julie ignored her. “I did that with my little sister. She turned into one heck of a dancer.”
Madge got right in her face. “I didn’t do all this surveillance on Phil to hand him over to you.”
Julie blinked nervously and swallowed.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked.
“Yes, there are just a few too many people here,” she said through clenched teeth.
“Then let’s get out of here. We can dance another time.” Phil took her by the hand and led her out of the room.
The lights in the ballroom flickered as Madge bellowed, “If you don’t get them together, you’re going to pay for this, Julie!”
Ignoring the ghastly ghost, Julie followed Phil.
Outside, he held her hand and smiled at her.
Her heart pounded. Was he going to invite her home? Would she say yes? She didn’t even know him, although Madge had given him the stamp of approval.
“What do you want to do?” she asked, in a breathier voice than she’d intended.
One corner of his mouth curled up. “I have a craving for ice cream. Want to share a sundae?”
She blinked at him, surprised. “I love ice cream.”
They walked hand in hand a few blocks to an ice cream parlor. “How do you feel about banana splits?
” Phil asked.
“I feel like I don’t have them often enough. You sure you want to share? You barely know me,” Julie said.
“I wouldn’t with just anyone, but with you—definitely.” He winked.
He bought their sundae and they sat at in a booth. Phil let her steal the cherries from on top. They chatted about his job as a pharmaceutical rep and her work as an accountant.
“I’ll be hitting the gym tomorrow for sure after this. How about you?” he asked.
Looked like she was going to have to join the gym after all. “Maybe Monday.”
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
She thought about concocting an interesting tale involving hiking and photography or maybe charity work, but she just shrugged and told him the truth. “Laundry.”
He laughed. “Sunday’s my laundry day too. What do you say we skip it and go to the beach instead?”
“I think that’s the smartest idea I’ve heard since the post-wedding banana split feast.”
They finished their sundae and walked outside. Under the glow of a street lamp, Phil asked, “Do you need a ride home?”
Julie didn’t trust herself to get in a car with this hunk. “My place isn’t far from here. I’ll take a cab.”
He slid a hand behind her neck and bent to kiss her. She laced her arms around his back as they made out on the sidewalk. He smiled as they kissed.
“Are you laughing?” she asked, poking him in the ribs.
“No, I just realized whenever I taste a banana from now on, I’ll think of you. And that makes me smile.”
Philomena who? Julie thought.
Phil kissed her again, then hailed her a cab. “What time should I pick you up tomorrow?” he asked.
“Let’s get there early before the beach is crowded.” She gave him her address and another kiss before getting into the cab.
When Julie arrived home, her skin tingled. She got that feeling whenever a ghost was around. Sure enough, she opened her door and Grandma and Madge were sitting on her couch.
“Have a nice time?” Madge asked, snarling.
“He really is great,” Julie said, sitting in a chair across from them.
