Iris No one says it, everyone thinks it. That Danny’s the worst.
Eve What’s he supposed to’ve done now?
Iris Ever since all that fuss in the newsagent’s –
Eve Mum –
Iris I mix up a few receipts and it’s the end of the world.
Eve Mum, we’re not talking about that.
Iris Ten years I put in there. I short change a few people, I’m out the door.
Eve Will you eat something? For me?
Iris eats grudgingly.
Iris It’s Lisa you should be worrying about, not me.
Eve Lisa’s fine. She’s fine, isn’t she?
Iris She’s not exactly chipper. You’re not here – you don’t see.
Eve She’s fallen out with some of the other kids –
Iris A girl who keeps the curtains shut in the blazing sunshine is blocking something out.
Eve Don’t know what’s worse: her moping or Danny smiling all the time …
Iris Not surprised he’s smiling – all he does is fiddle on that computer.
Eve It’s the job-seeking isn’t it?
Iris He needs to get out there with a nice tidy CV, knock on some doors.
Eve He needs to do thirty hours a week on this site or he won’t get his dole.
Iris Seeking what?
Eve Anything. Everything. Yesterday he applied for head chef at the Panoramic.
Iris He’ll never get that.
Eve (sarcastic) Do you think?
Iris Are these ‘Value’ beans? ’Cause some things aren’t worth saving on –
Eve covers her face suddenly with a cry of frustration.
Evie? Don’t be silly, love, what’s up?
Eve What did you do when Dad lost his job, Mum?
Iris What did we do?
Eve You and him. How did you cope?
Iris We fought back. Out on the docks next day, front of the picket lines. All fuel to him.
Eve I’m not sleeping. I wake up fighting with things.
Iris You were always like that. Screaming in the night, telling me you could see spiders and gorillas – all kinds of made-up things.
Eve These aren’t made-up things.
Iris (looking out) Those windows are getting filthy.
Eve What?
Iris The windows. Next door’ll think we’ve turned heathen.
Eve Are you listening to me?
Iris The fella came round when you were out but I had to tell him to leave it. Nothing in the pot.
Eve There was ten quid. I put ten quid in there for the windows and the little shop.
Iris There was nothing in the pot.
Eve (moving to look) There was ten pound there, Mum.
Iris It’s not worth getting upset about, pet –
Eve Where did it go?
Iris – a dirty window.
Eve Where did it go, Mum? Think.
Iris You’ll have to ask your dad.
Eve What?
Iris He’ll know better than I do. He looks after that sort of thing.
Eve What are you talking about?
Iris What’s the face on you for?
Eve Dad’s dead, Mum.
Beat.
He’s ten foot under in Walton cemetery. So how can I ask him anything?
Iris I know he’s dead. I know that.
Eve Then stop all that –
Iris (nodding) His heart … I know he’s dead.
Eve Then stop talking nonsense.
Iris I know that.
Eve Could you just for a minute …
Eve turns away, beginning to cry, fighting it.
Iris Oh, Eve pet … What’s all this?
Iris moves over to her, putting her arms around her, shushing her.
Eve I need you to really try and listen to me, Mum.
Iris What? Listen to what?
Beat. Eve tries to find the words.
I gave it to the man.
Eve What man?
Iris That ten pound. I gave it to the man who came to the door. He was collecting for the sick kiddies.
Eve Course you did.
Iris You’ve got to help if you can, haven’t you?
Eve I’m going to sort things out for you, Mum. I’m going to take care of it.
Iris Don’t be silly. Nothing’s needs sorting.
Eve I’m going to work everything out.
Iris Everything’s fine, pet. Everything’s just right …
They stay like this for some moments. Iris moves away.
Eve (sung)
My level head, my steady hand
My place between the sky and land
The ground that lies beneath my feet
Is up in flames, is spinning free
Chorus.
Come lift me up, come hold me tight
Chase away the circling night
Say soft and sweet, ‘It’ll be alright.
We’ll be bold and brave in the new dawn light.’
If I’m standing straight
If I’m breathing strong
If I keep the faith
Will I soldier on?
The skyline slides into the sea
Brick and stone blown on the breeze
Repeat chorus.
Eve watches Iris.
Come lift me me up, come hold me tight …
Lights down.
SCENE SIX
MAGICAL TIMES
Lisa sits on the step of the house with her coat on. She stands as she sees Eve approaching.
Lisa Before you start making a mountain –
Eve What? Tell me what I’m gonna say.
Lisa That I’m stupid.
Eve Wrong.
Lisa That I’m ruining my chances.
Eve Keep talking.
Lisa Everyone else gets to act up sometimes. The second I do anything, everyone loses their mind.
Eve I’ve just been talking to a very upset science teacher. He wants me to take you to a counsellor.
Lisa He’s only scared my marks’ll drop and I’ll mess up his average.
Eve What’s this about you eating your lunch in the toilets?
Lisa I’ve got to eat it somewhere.
Eve He reckons you’ve got some kind of disorder.
Lisa I can’t have them all watching and laughing. If it’s egg sandwich they make fart noises, if it’s tuna they say I stink. If it’s a ‘Value’ yoghurt – that’s the best one –
Eve Who’s this?
Lisa Taking pictures of me with me mouth full – sticking them on Instagram.
Eve You tell me who.
Lisa I didn’t mean to upset Mr Wan. They were all going on like always. I just wanted … just …
Eve Just what? (Beat.) What, tell me … Pet –
Lisa I just thought if I could do something mad – like something funny and brave and not like me, I could shock them all, I could get them talking about something else.
Eve So you wrote an obscenity on the board?
Lisa It was a formula. If the wavelength of light is ten angstroms the frequency equals …
Eve Equals what?
Lisa He always makes me get up in front of everyone. All of them shouting: ‘Lisa’ll do it.’ ‘Lisa always gets it right.’ And I thought ‘What if I don’t? What if this time the frequency of light equals … ’
Eve Equals?
Lisa ‘Prick off Mr Wan.’
Beat. Eve looks at her in confusion.
I don’t know – I panicked.
Eve ‘Prick off’? Is that even a thing?
Lisa Tilly Banner wrote ‘Fuck you’ on the board last week and everyone thought it was amazing. But ’cause it’s me – ’cause it’s still me, it’s always me …
Eve What do you mean ‘still’ you? I don’t want you to be anything but you.
Lisa You’re the only one.
Eve I’ll go in and talk to the head. She’ll sort these kids out –
Lisa (shaking her head) I can’t be doing it, Mum. I’m
not doing it any more.
Eve Don’t talk silly.
Lisa All of them staring at me.
Eve You’re a year and a bit off your exams.
Lisa Talking ’bout me, texting each other and laughing.
Eve You’ll go to sixth form – all the divvies’ll drop out.
Lisa You think I’m messing. I can’t do it.
Eve As if you’re gonna throw everything away over –
Lisa What am I throwing away?
Eve Your science, your studying.
Lisa My science? You don’t know anything about it.
Eve You know what he called you?
Lisa What world do you live in?
Eve He said ‘extraordinary’. He used that word. He said ‘Your daughter is –’
Lisa I don’t want to be extraordinary. What good does it do me, not being ordinary?
Eve He said he’s never had a student like you.
Lisa So I’m dancing off to uni, am I? Getting on a train to London or Glasgow? Nan’s losing her fucking mind.
Eve Don’t speak to me like that.
Lisa She locked herself in the yard again yesterday. You know that? I found her trying to climb the wall like a cat.
Eve Don’t worry about that – I’ll worry about that.
Lisa She needs looking after.
Eve So I’ll look after her.
Lisa You’ll jack in the job?
Eve If it gets to that.
Lisa Then who’s gonna work? Who’s bringing money in?
Suddenly she hugs her tightly.
Eve Oh Lis … I’m sorry …
Lisa pulls away.
Lisa I’m not some dozy kid, always in a daydream –
Eve Who said you were?
Lisa I hear you and Danny – on about the rent and the bills. You want me to pretend I don’t?
Eve I just want you to be yourself. Like before, like in juniors.
Lisa Juniors? I see how things are. I can see.
Eve I see you … and you’re … the cleverest person I’ve ever met. And these kids –
Lisa Why are we all walking round like everything’s alright?
Eve It will be. It will –
Lisa You can’t tell me that everything’s alright.
Lights down. Eve moves away. The band plays ‘Magical Times’. In the shop Bryn is taking garden ornaments out of a trolley, arranging them. He slips, hurting his finger – loses it suddenly, kicking the ornaments, smashing them one by one. He stops at last, stands breathless in the debris. Lights down on Bryn. Elsewhere Danny is flyering ‘Remain’ leaflets.
Lisa (sung)
These are magical times, rootless and wild
We are dancing unbound, unruled by the tides
I see ghosts of stars in a rolling sky
These are magical times, and where am I?
These are wondrous days when planets align
Sun and moon kiss and the dark swallows fire
I see silver and gold scattered high and wide
These are magical times, and where am I?
There are men singing songs from space
And I’m gravity, I’m endless weight
I saw the sky alight, too late
A million years ago
A million miles away
These are magical times, and where am I?
A great wind blows through, scattering Danny’s flyers from his hands. He stares bewildered.
SCENE SEVEN
NEGOTIATIONS
The shop, afternoon. Faisa sticks ‘Sale’ labels to items. Voice over tannoy: ‘Fancy a garden party? Our super hot summer sale is now on: massive reductions on albarbecues and decking. Top brands at tiny prices.’ Eve sits on the back step holding a lit cigarette. Steph approaches fast, making Eve jump.
Steph Sneaky bitch. (Grabbing the cigarette.) You with a fag: it’s like 1995 all over again.
Eve Found it in a drawer in the office. Probably one of yours.
Steph Wait till I tell your Danny.
Eve Tell Danny what you like – just don’t tell Lisa.
Steph laughs, sits, taking a drag.
Steph Remember Sister Mary Michael caught you smoking by the ice-cream van?
Eve I remember you legged it and left me to her.
Steph It’s not my fault you’re a slow-arse.
Eve She made me do a speech in mass. ‘Why tobacco offends Jesus.’
Steph laughs. Eve takes the cigarette back, takes a drag
Steph You heard ’bout Bryn’s girlfriend? Binned him.
Eve You’re joking? Teak-tan Tina?
Steph She’s taking her tan elsewhere. He had some kind of breakdown in here yesterday. Details are murky but it involved two dozen clay tortoises and a selection of garden gnomes.
Eve I bet Alan was tearing his hair out.
Steph (taking the cigarette back) Let’s hope so.
Eve He’s not the enemy, Steph.
Steph He’s doing a good impression.
Eve I know he comes across a bit … robotic.
Steph R2-D2’s a bit robotic.
Eve He’s trying, alright?
Steph Maybe he could try talking to the dole for me?
Eve Why, what did they say?
Steph A month. And if I get over sixteen hours a week in the meantime they’ll cancel the claim. I can’t stick that, Eve –
Eve Couple more weeks we’ll be back to normal in here.
Steph You believe that? Why, ’cause he says so?
Eve If this place falls apart he’s going with it. You saw how he was over his dad –
Steph His old fella died a year ago. Is he still milking that in your private moments?
Eve (pulling the cigarette off Steph) Shut up, you.
Steph At least when his dad was in charge we had a laugh round here.
Eve I’ll pass that on, shall I? ‘Steph’s not having enough fun. She needs more time for pissing about’?
Steph Eh?!
Eve You’d have a laugh in a mortuary.
Inside, Theresa pushes her cleaning trolley quickly across the floor, Alan following.
Alan They can’t be here, Theresa. It’s the law. It’s all kinds of laws.
Theresa I shouldn’t be here.
Eve (to Steph) Hang on …
Theresa You text me last night to come in today –
Eve and Steph move inside during the following, listening.
Alan I can’t have two babies toddling round my office.
Theresa They’re six and four.
Alan There are Health and Safety implications. Child protection.
Theresa I’m never here Tuesday. You’ve got me ringing round my whole family –
Eve and Steph approach.
Alan Where’s your Anna?
Theresa You tell me. I’ve had two phone calls since Christmas.
Alan Look, Theresa, I understand it’s not ideal.
Steph I’ll take them.
Alan Take them where? You’re in here till five.
Eve Al, seriously: weigh up your options.
Steph (to Theresa) You could’ve rung me. What’s wrong with you?
Theresa You’ve got three of your own.
Steph What’s two more? The carpets are already ruined.
A crash and a child’s scream followed by child’s laughter from off.
Alan (to Steph and Theresa) Just get those children out of my office.
Theresa and Steph hurry off towards the noise.
(To Eve.) Is there some kind of conspiracy? Bring the place down from the inside?
Eve I spent half an hour calming Faisa down this morning.
Alan Everyone needs to calm down.
Eve She’s got credit cards, student loan, the bloody catalogue.
Alan Thanks for dealing with her.
Eve I don’t need thanking, I need information. People need to plan.
Alan I’d love to know the plan.
Eve We said a month – we’re halfway there.
<
br /> Alan Right now I’m trying to see past a shower of shit.
Eve (pulling him aside) I’m dangerously close to lying to people here, Al.
Alan Just bear with me, alright? Brexit’s spooked the shareholders – everything’s up in the air.
Eve Should I be looking for something else?
Alan No. No, don’t do that to me.
Eve To you?
Alan I need you here.
Eve Danny’s lost his job. No redundancy. My mum’s missing in action.
Alan What d’you mean?
Eve She’s talking her own language half the time.
Alan (taking her hand) Christ, Eve …
Eve What do I do? Play along with her nonsense? Look her in the eye and tell her she’s going mad?
Alan Got to a point with my dad, I just let him believe what he believed. You nod, you smile …
Eve Watch them leave the room while they’re standing in front of you.
He nods. He hugs her.
Al, if things are changing round here … If you could put a word in for me upstairs … ? If you could try …
Alan Someone needs to put a word in for me.
Eve I mean, after all that at Christmas –
Alan What at Christmas?
Eve You said if there was ever anything you could do …
Alan I meant it. If there was anything I could do –
Eve I’ve only ever worked for you or your dad. I’ve worked hard. Haven’t I?
Alan Course you have, but you’re not qualified, you’re –
Eve When you took over, I held your hand every step.
Alan You helped. You did.
Eve Five years we’ve run this place together. You tell them. You tell them that.
Alan I can’t tell them anything right now: they’re not bloody listening.
Eve You took me aside at that party. You talked in my ear. You promised.
Alan I was drunk.
Eve ‘You won’t ever want for much with me around, Eve.’
Alan I don’t know what I said.
Eve That’s what you said.
Alan What did he do?
Beat. She looks at him in confusion.
To get himself sacked?
Eve Smashed up a van. They said he was speeding.
The Sum Page 3
