“I haven’t seen her since. I think she’s here for a couple more weeks.” He gazed off toward the Anderson place.
“It’s really none of my business, but you still have feelings for her, don’t you?”
Luke knew that his stepmom was very perceptive. Probably woman’s intuition. “It doesn’t matter if I do, she’s leaving and that’s that. I can’t make her stay somewhere she doesn’t want to be.”
“Are you one hundred percent sure that she doesn’t want to be here with you? Have you asked her?”
Luke looked into June’s kind eyes, fighting back unmanly tears that threatened to escape like wild horses from his eyes. “I can’t ask her to give up her dreams. I love her too much for that.” There he’d said it, he loved her—always had—always would.
“Well, take it from someone who’s had a little bit of experience in finding love, if it’s true love, it’s more important than any job or location. I took a huge chance coming back here from Ohio to be with your dad, and look how well that turned out.” June’s face still lit up every time she mentioned his dad. He wanted that feeling. “If you truly love her, then tell her. Let her make the choice. Don’t leave words unspoken that you’ll regret.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll think about it.” Luke downed the rest of his tea and stood up and gave her a hug. “Come on, Brutus. Let’s get home. Tomorrow starts early.” Luke trudged back up the hill to his dream home. The home he shared with no one.
***
Penny turned off Peaktop Highway and headed down 1-70 toward Denver. Usually she enjoyed singing along with her favorite country radio station as she drove, but today she was too distracted to listen. Even though Marissa’s foster mom had agreed to let her pick up the child and spend the day with her, she had no idea what she would find when she got there. It had been almost three weeks since her young friend had left camp, and she hadn’t heard from her once. She feared the worst but hoped for the best. Another two weeks and Penny would be on her way back to Chicago—too far away to watch out for her. She wouldn’t be around for Marissa, and she doubted that anyone else would be there either. She wanted to trust the system to take care of the child, but she knew that didn’t always happen.
When she got into Denver, she followed her phone’s directions and turned off the Interstate and headed down East Colfax Ave. The houses got smaller the farther she drove, and her nerves kicked in as she turned into a shabby neighborhood. She maneuvered through several turns down small narrow streets, driving slowly to avoid children playing outside without any adult supervision. Her phone indicated she’d arrived at her destination, and she stopped in front of a small, one-story home that looked as though it had not been painted in this century. Two teenage boys lounged on the front porch smoking cigarettes—at least she hoped they were cigarettes.
“Excuse me. Is this the Grant’s?”
One of the young men looked up at her with a frown. “Who wants to know?”
“I’m Penny Anderson. I’m here to see Marissa.”
“Mom,” he yelled without getting up. “There’s someone here to see one of the little brats.”
A worn-looking woman appeared at the screen door, she held a cigarette in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. “Come on in, I’ll get her.”
Penny stepped inside and looked around the small, dark living room. Although the furniture was shabby, the room generally appeared to be clean. Three children sat together on the only couch watching cartoons.
“Marissa, your friend is here,” Mrs. Grant yelled not bothering to leave the room. “I think she’s in the bedroom. Would you like some coffee?”
“No, thanks.”
Marissa ran down the old, wooden staircase, jumping over the last two steps in her excitement. “Penny!” The child ran across the room and launched herself into her arms. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” She hugged the small child close. “Let me look at you. You’ve grown since you left camp.”
Marissa giggled.
Penny turned to Mrs. Grant. “I’d like to take her to lunch, maybe to the park. Is there any time you need her to be back?”
“Keep her all day if you want. One less child that I need to keep track of. Thank god school starts soon.”
Penny had to bite her tongue. From what she could tell this woman didn’t really keep track of anyone. She forced a smile and told Marissa to get her shoes. “Thank you for letting me spend some time with her. I’ll have her back later this afternoon.”
The child reappeared with some flip-flops and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go.”
Penny noticed that she didn’t say goodbye to her foster mother, nor did the lady say anything to her.
As they walked off the porch, the boy who had spoken to her earlier, yelled behind them. “You can keep her, we won’t miss her.” Both boys laughed.
Penny held tighter to the child’s hand, helped her into her back seat, and fastened her seatbelt. She couldn’t drive away fast enough. Once she turned back on the main street, she put on her best happy voice. “What would you like to do today?”
“Can we go back to camp?”
“No, not today, but I’ll help you get signed up for next summer. Little Joe misses you.”
“Can you give him a carrot from me?”
“You bet. I’ll be sure to give him several tomorrow. Now speaking of eating, let’s get some lunch.” Penny pulled into a fast food place with some outdoor tables where they could enjoy the summer sun. Once they began their meal she asked, “So how’s everything going at your new home?”
Marissa looked down at her sandwich. “It’s okay. It’s kinda crowded with eight kids, and the “real” kids aren’t very nice. She made quote signs as she said the word real.
“Real kids?”
“Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Grant’s own kids. They say that the four of us who are foster kids aren’t real kids.”
“Those boys who were on the porch when we left?”
“Yep, they’re mean, but me and Susie, we just try and stay out of their way.”
“Susie?”
“Yeah, she’s nice and just two years older than me. It’s her third foster home. She knows how to stay quiet and not get in trouble. She said she’d teach me the ropes. Sometimes I hear her crying at night though.”
“How about Mr. and Mrs. Grant? Do you like them?”
“They’re okay. Mr. Grant works most of the time, but Mrs. Grant is home with us. The older kids aren’t mean when she’s in the room.”
Time to change the subject. Clearly it made Marissa sad to talk about her situation, and it wasn’t helping her own mood either. She came to have fun with the child. It wouldn’t help to get herself upset about a something she couldn’t change. She wished she knew a nice family that wanted an adorable eight year old.
She watched Marissa quickly finish all of the food on her plate and wondered if the child got enough to eat at the home. “Shall we go see if we can find you some new school clothes?”
Marissa’s face lit up. “Really? You’re going to get me some new clothes?”
“Of course. That’s one of the reasons I came. Are there any stores where you like to shop?”
“Um, I haven’t gotten anything new in a while except for hand me downs from my cousin. Sometimes, Grandma used to take me to Goodwill or Arc. They have lots of clothes.”
Penny’s heart sunk further. Had this child ever had any new clothes? She thought back to the shopping trips her and her mom had made every August to Cherry Creek Mall to get her school clothes for the year. Those had been fun times, and wearing all your new stuff the first few weeks of school was the best. She might not be able to change Marissa’s life, but at least she could let her have that experience.
Penny parked in the familiar parking structure and took hold of her friend’s hand, and they walked through the main entrance to the Mall. She looked down at Marissa, whose eyes were wide, taking in all of the sights and sounds. “Have you been here before
?”
“Never.”
“Well, you’re in for a treat. This is where my mom brought me to get school clothes when I was your age. Let’s see what we can find.”
An hour and a half later, the two walked out of the mall, all four of their hands loaded with bags containing their purchases. Penny spent more than she’d intended, but the huge grin on the child’s face made it all worthwhile.
“Would you like to go play at a park for a while before I have to take you back home?”
“I love parks. My gramma used to take me sometimes.”
“A park it is then.”
The rest of the afternoon flew by too quickly. Penny could feel the child’s happy mood vanish as she drove up in front of the Grant residence. “Thanks for spending the day with me, Marissa. I had fun.”
Marissa looked over at her, tears welling up in her eyes. “I had so much fun. Thanks for the clothes. I never had such pretty things to wear.”
Penny fought the tears forming in her own eyes. She needed to put on a happy face for this dear child.
“Penny? If you ever decide you want a kid, I’m available. I think you’d make an awesome mom.”
She pulled the frail child into her arms and held her tight. She didn’t want to give her any false hope, but at the same time didn’t want to make her feel worse by stating that it could never happen. So she just held her in silence. When Marissa’s tears subsided, she walked her to the front door. Fortunately, the older boys were nowhere to be seen. “Have a great school year. I’m sure you’ll have a really nice teacher. I’ll write you a letter when I get to Chicago and tell you all about my class. Hopefully, we’ll see you back at Adventure Camp next summer.”
“Bye, Penny.”
She got to her car. Looking back she saw Marissa’s small face pressed up against the screen. She drove away, tears falling freely now.
***
Penny’s Camaro rounded the corner past Peak Adventure Camp. She let out a deep breath—almost home. Her tears dried up on the three hour drive since Denver, but her mood hadn’t elevated. She felt helpless—a feeling she hated.
She looked up at the nighttime sky filled with a million stars. You couldn’t see stars like these in any city. Why did people choose to live in cities? The thought no sooner left her brain, when she realized that she had become one of those people. “Of course, they live there for jobs,” she said out loud. The old saying “follow your heart” didn’t pay the bills. Although Peak Highway was all but deserted at this time on a weekday night, out of habit she switched on her blinker to signal her turn into her parent’s lane and then turned it off again as she drove on by. She loved her parents—they were the best ever—but right now she didn’t want to answer their inevitable questions about Marissa. She wasn’t ready to talk about it.
She slowed and downshifted the Camaro maneuvering through the large Walker Ranch archway and heading down the lane, before turning up the small dirt path that was now Luke’s driveway. She needed peace and comfort, and this was where she’d always found it. She slowed her car to a crawl. She didn’t want to wake anyone or run into any unsuspecting wildlife on the narrow path. Rolling down her window, she breathed in the scent of pine trees and sage. It calmed her. Turning off her engine outside the cabin, she leaned her head back on the seat and gazed at the stars through her T-top. Wherever God was up there, she prayed that He’d give her some answers. She couldn’t tell if Luke was home, the cabin appeared dark, but a dim light shone from an interior room. She got out and closed her door quietly behind her. A board creaked as she stepped on the porch and knocked on the front door. Instantly she heard Brutus’ excited yipping. She smiled. He wasn’t old enough yet for watchdog bark. It sounded more like a welcoming hello to whoever might be coming by to pet him. She almost turned to leave, when the porch light came on, and Luke opened the door.
“Penny? Is everything okay?”
Luke, clad in only a loose fitting pair of sweat pants slung low on his hips, smiled down at her. His chest was bare and his washboard abs had filled out—in a good way, since his high school days. His hair lay damp and rumpled on his head. Oh my god, he was gorgeous. It took her breathe away, and she just stood there taking him in.
“Penny?” His low voice snapped her back to reality. “Come on in. Sorry, I just got out of the shower. Wasn’t expecting company.”
Sorry? No, he definitely shouldn’t be sorry. She watched him close the door behind them and walked straight into his arms, laying her head against his chest and wrapping her arms around his slightly damp, warm back. He smelled like soap and aftershave and the heat from the shower still radiated off his body.
Sensing her mood, Luke wrapped his arms around her gently and stroked his fingers through her long silky hair. He wasn’t sure what she needed, but he longed to give it to her. He felt tears leave her eyes and run down his chest as she sobbed against him. He let her cry holding her tighter and feeling his body react to her nearness. After her sobbing subsided, he gently touched her chin and moved her face to look up at him, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
What’s wrong, sweetheart? Are your parents alright?”
She looked up at him with shining blue eyes. “Yeah, they’re fine.” She sighed. “It’s just that I went to visit Marissa today….”
He pulled back and held her at arm’s length. He’d never be able to concentrate on what she was saying with her that close. “Do you want to talk about it? Come and have a seat.” He motioned to the big, comfy leather sofa. She plopped down, and he turned and grabbed a flannel shirt off the back of a chair and slipped it on before heading to the kitchen to grab them both a beer. When he came back into the room, Brutus was sitting in her lap licking what remained of her tears off of her face.
“Brutus!”
“It’s okay. He’s just giving me some love.” Penny laughed.
He was glad to see a smile back on her face.
Handing her a bottle, he sat down beside her, willing himself to keep a small distance between them. “Brutus, get down and let me talk to our guest.” The puppy reluctantly gave up his seat and lay down across the room with a chew bone.
He watched her take a long swig of the cold Coors. “Thanks. I’m sorry to bother you.”
“No bother. Tell me about your day?”
Penny recounted her visit and the living conditions she observed at the child’s foster home.
“I’m just so worried about her. I’m not sure she is getting any love at that home. I took her to Cherry Creek Mall. She’d never been to a mall before. Every child should get that experience.”
“Poor kid, but she knows that you love her. That’s something.”
“Yeah, but I’m leaving, and to her Chicago seems like a million miles away. Heck, to me right now it seems like a million miles away. I wish there was someone here to watch out for her.”
“I could go visit her every few weeks.”
“You’d do that? Really? She does like you.” Penny closed the gap between them and setting her beer down, she reached up and put her arms around his neck, giving him a big hug. Her fingers, cold and damp from the beer, tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck and sent chills down his spine. Did this woman have any idea what she did to him?
“Of course. I’d be happy to spend some time with her. We bonded on the Fourth. Do you think she’d be happy to see me?”
“I think she’d be happy to see anyone who doesn’t view her as a burden.”
She looked into his eyes, and all thoughts he had of Marissa scurried away like mice across the cabin floor. “Penny,” he murmured in a voice that sounded husky even to his own ears. His lips found hers, kissing her gently at first until she responded with an urgency that overwhelmed him. He deepened the kiss, parting her lips and finding her tongue with his. He heard her small moan and grabbed her legs, pulling then across his lap to caress her soft thighs below her shorts. She clung to him, removing one of her arms from his neck so her hand could find its
way inside his open shirt to his chest. He heard another moan and realized it had come from him. He moved his hand up and found her breast under her tank top and massaged it gently.
Penny’s breathing quickened. “I want you, Luke.” She pressed her body closer to his.
He deepened his kisses and felt another part of his body harden. Her hand slipped lower and played with the string of his sweats. He had nothing on underneath the flimsy jersey material. He wanted this more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. He’d wanted this for four long, lonely years, but against all odds, his brain kicked into high gear. No! Not like this. Penny was not a one night stand—she was his forever love. If they made love now, he couldn’t let her walk away again. Did she really want him, or just want to feel better about her bad day? He wanted her with all his heart, but not like this. Slowly and excruciatingly, he lessened his kiss and pulled back from her, removing her hand from his waistline.
“Penny, we can’t do this. Not like this. Not to make you feel better.”
“But…” She looked at him, sadness returning to her eyes.
“Trust me, as much as I’d like to make love to you all night long, we’d both regret this in the morning.” He smiled and reached over and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “You’d better get on home. You can count on me to look out for Marissa.”
Penny struggled to get her emotions under control. She pulled her tank top down and ran her fingers through her hair. She needed to leave. She wasn’t about to beg for sex, and that’s exactly what she’d end up doing if she stayed any longer. She stood up and downed the remainder of her beer in one long gulp.
“Thanks, for looking out for her and for making me feel better.” She set the empty bottle down and headed for the door, stopping to scratch the puppy’s head. “Do you know what Marissa said to me when I left? ‘If you ever want a kid, I’m available.’ It broke my heart.”
Colorado Cabin in the Pines (Peakview series Book 3) Page 9
