by J. S. Scott
I shrugged, giving him an easy smile. “I’ve had a few extra years with Conor.”
“This wedding…” His grin slipped away, reminding me that he might be a few years younger than me, but he took things seriously. “This is the deal you struck with Turner to keep our family safe, isn’t it? And you’re okay with it?”
“Yeah, it’s the deal I struck with Turner, but things with Wren are different from the way they’d been. We’re doing really well, and the truth is…I still love her. Maybe more so now.” Fuck…I hated opening up like this. But I didn’t want Finn worrying about me or thinking that I was getting married simply to keep everyone from harm, even if that was how this all started.
“Look…I just wanted to say that I’m sorry that we all failed you—failed Dad. I swear, I busted my ass to figure out who was behind the attack, and I kept hitting one wall after another. I’d follow the evidence down one road, and then I’d hit a dead end, and the next set of evidence would point in a totally different direction.” Finn shook his head, frustration lining his face and darkening his eyes. “I swear, it felt like someone was fucking with us.”
“None of it’s your fault, Finn. We all worked damn hard to figure out who landed Dad in the hospital and then murdered him.” It was all so fucked up. And none of it made sense—just like Finn said. “But I can’t risk anyone else getting hurt—or worse. And marrying Wren…it’s a good thing.”
“Yeah? Then I’m fucking happy for you, man.”
CHAPTER 20
Wren
There was something I needed to do, especially if I was going to go forward with this wedding in all sincerity, rather than it being nothing but a bargaining chip to keep the Blackthorns safe. And that meant sitting down with my father and convincing him to do the right thing, even though he was the most stubborn man I knew and seldom changed his mind once he made a decision.
I found my dad in his home office with Evan, his right-hand man when it came to almost everything. “How are you feeling, Dad? Evan…it’s good to see you again.”
“I’m doing fine, sweetheart. I don’t want you worrying about me.” And yet it was clear he wasn’t doing well at all.
He’d lost so much weight, and his once thick hair was now shaved short. I hated this…hated feeling so hopeless about it all. And though my life had been far from perfect, I didn’t blame my dad for my problems—at least not anymore. He’d done his best, even remarrying to give me a mother after my own had passed away. And though he’d unleashed an evil into my life, he’d been unaware of it, and it hadn’t been intentional.
“Evan, can I have a few minutes alone with my dad?” I liked Evan enough, but he certainly didn’t need to be around for this conversation, even if I was sure my dad would eventually tell him everything. Once he was gone, I got to the matter at hand, and just hoped that my dad wouldn’t fight me on this. “I know you have some deal with Ash to marry me in exchange for eliminating any threats to his family, but I want to marry him with no strings attached, and that means I want you to go through with your end of the deal, whether he marries me or not. I love Ash, and I want to know that he’s marrying me because he loves me too—not because he’s cornered and you’re offering him the only way out.”
“I’ve got to say, Wren, I hadn’t expected to see such a turnaround from you and Ash, and I’m happy that my instincts were right about what was between the two of you.” He let out a sigh and sat back in his chair. “If you truly have feelings for him, I understand where you’re coming from. But…it’s not that simple a matter.”
“Why not? If it’s because you think Ash won’t marry me if he’s not being forced into it, I think you’re wrong.” The mere thought had my eyes stinging with tears.
I not only hated the thought that Ash might not truly love me, but that if I was wrong about him, then I’d been stupid enough to be manipulated yet again. Worse still would be that Ash now knew my darkest secrets—secrets I’d never told anyone. And yet, I had to have faith that I wasn’t mistaken about him, and that what we had was real.
“I have no doubt he loves you, sweetheart. Any man would be lucky to have you. But…I need you guys to get married, and I can’t take the risk of it not happening, if you’re mistaken. And that means blackmailing Ash into it.” He gave me an apologetic shrug, and despite my frustration, I couldn’t stay angry with him, even if I didn’t understand his reasons for being so stubborn about it.
“Is this because you think I’m in danger from all the enemies you’ve made over the years?” Not that it was a surprise. I had a pretty good feel for what my father did to make a living, and though I knew Ash’s father and brothers had been in a similar, albeit far more legal, line of work, I was relieved that the Blackthorns were now focusing on Blackthorn Whiskey.
“I have every right to worry about it, Wren—and I’m sorry that my choices have had such an effect on your life. But…I need Ash to marry you. Because if he ever finds out the truth…”
“The truth about what?” I didn’t understand.
“It was a mistake, Wren… A mistake that got away from me.”
His words…the apology and regret in his voice…
“You’re scaring me, Dad. What’s happened?” I couldn’t even begin to imagine what trouble he’d gotten into.
“The car accident…with Ash’s father… It was never supposed to be so bad.” He shook his head as my stomach flipped, not wanting to believe any of it. And yet, he wasn’t done. “I’m sorry, Wren. The accident was of my doing, so that I could try to get Ash to marry you—so that I’d have a bargaining chip by helping him out. But, I swear, I hadn’t anticipated Alec Blackthorn’s enemies taking advantage of his weakened state. I may not have been the one to murder him, but unfortunately…I’m the one responsible for his death.”
No…no…no!!! “What the hell have you done, Dad?”
“I’m sorry, Wren. I really am.”
With tears streaming down my cheeks and my heart breaking, I kept driving, ignoring my phone as it rang for the umpteenth time, Ash’s name flashing on the screen. I just couldn’t go back there…couldn’t face him. And I sure as hell couldn’t marry him now. He’d hate me if he ever found out. And he’d be homicidal.
So I kept driving until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore, finally pulling over and grabbing a room. But as I sat there in an unfamiliar space, all by myself with my soul shattering once more, I hated myself for what my father had put Ash and his family through. I’d finally opened up to someone…finally allowed myself to be happy and had the promise of a fresh start. But now…how the hell was I supposed to go back and not only face him, but marry him? And I knew, the moment I told him the truth, it would all be over—and I couldn’t blame him this time around. Not one bit.
But as my phone continued to ring, and text after text came through, I couldn’t take it anymore, and when I finally answered, Ash’s voice sounded panicked. “Wren… Where are you? Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry, Ash. I really am. But…I can’t marry you.” A sob escaped my lips, and I hated myself for putting him through this, especially when I couldn’t give him any sort of explanation.
“What happened, love? Talk to me… Please, don’t shut me out. Don’t do this to me.” There was such genuine concern in his voice…and it killed me, especially when I knew with sudden conviction that he was the only guy who’d truly cared for me, the only guy I’d ever loved.
“I swear, I love you, Ash. I truly do. But this is for the best.” Except that it wasn’t. What would have been for the best was for us to be happy together…to get married…to be in love. And yet, I couldn’t do any of those things. Not when my father was responsible for killing Ash’s dad—and then blackmailing him into marrying me.
“How can you fucking say that, Wren? I love you.”
“I love you too. But…I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.”
CHAPTER 21
Ash
This could not be fucking happening. “Where are you, Wren? And don’t you dare hang up on me.”
Silence. As if she was debating doing just that.
“Answer me, damn it. I’m fucking losing my mind.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, not wanting to lose her. “Just tell me you’re safe, little bird…you have me so fucking worried.”
“I’m safe—and I’m fine. I don’t want you worrying about me.” She let out a weary sigh, and it was clear she’d been crying. “I just never should have agreed to marry you. And I don’t want you worrying about your family. I’ll make sure my dad still holds up his end of the bargain.”
“This is no longer just about my family. It’s about us. Come home, love… Please. I’m not the only one who’s missing you. Sammie keeps looking for you—and you don’t want her to think that you’ve left…that she’s been abandoned again.” I knew it was a low blow to mention her dog, but it was the truth. Sammie and I were both beside ourselves with worry. “Just tell me where you are and we’ll come to get you.”
“I have a car.” I waited through her heavy pause, the silence killing me. “I’m going home, Ash. Back to San Francisco. But…I never should have left Sammie.”
“Let me bring her to you then.” I just needed to see her. Then I’d be able to get her to come home with me—come hell or high water.
“You don’t need to. I’ll come back and get her. But I’m only staying long enough to pick her up. This does not mean I’m coming back to be with you.”
I let it slide, not wanting her to back out of meeting with me.
“I just want you to be happy, love.” Even if there was no fucking way I was letting her walk out on what was between us. And this now went well beyond keeping my family—and her—safe. I needed Wren in my life, needed to make her happy.
Thank fuck for Sammie. Because I knew if it hadn’t been for her, Wren would have just kept driving. I didn’t know what had her suddenly freaking out, but there was no way I was letting her walk away from me and what we had together. I’d made the mistake of abandoning her once, and wouldn’t do it again when there was clearly something going on.
Yet waiting for her was a whole new form of torture. It felt like it was taking Wren forever to come back, and with each minute that passed, I was left wondering if she was on her way back to me or if she was driving farther away, leaving me desperate to get her back before she did something stupid. Even Sammie was waiting expectantly for her to return.
It took a few hours, but eventually, there was a knock at my door. The moment I opened the door, Sammie went into a full body wiggle as Wren knelt down and hugged her, burying her face in Sammie’s short fur as she murmured her apologies for leaving without her.
And fuck…but my heart broke when she finally looked up at me, tears streaming down her face. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her for me.”
I pulled her to her feet and inside the room, closing the door behind us, relieved that she didn’t protest and wasn’t attempting to just take off—not that I’d be letting her go. “She’s my dog too, Wren—and you belong here with us.”
She shook her head no, swiping at her tears as she put some distance between us and moved farther into the room. “There’s no point in me staying in Seattle when I won’t be marrying you.”
“Why the hell not? What happened?” The only place she’d been to was her dad’s, and since he’d been the one pushing for this, I couldn’t imagine he’d do anything to sabotage this wedding.
She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jeans, and moved deeper into the room, leaning back against the sofa. “Nothing happened. I just don’t want to marry you. I don’t know why it’s coming as such a shock when you practically had to kidnap me to get me to go with you to Seattle.”
“It’s coming as a surprise because you agreed to marry me—and you said you loved me. Or was it all a lie?” When she didn’t say anything, I tilted her head back. “Look at me, Wren—and tell me you don’t love me.”
Her eyes shimmered with tears as she glared at me. “I don’t love you.”
I still wasn’t buying it. And she may have held my gaze, but her tears were running down her cheeks. “You’re lying—and I don’t fucking appreciate it.”
“It doesn’t matter whether I love you or not, because I’m still not marrying you, no matter what you say or do.” She tried to sidestep me and put some distance between us, but there was no way I was letting her go. “It’s for the best, Ash. Just trust me on this.”
“Why? Because of what happened with Steven?” It was a reminder that she’d been through so much, and though I might need to tread lightly as a result of all she’d endured, there was no way I could just let her walk away from me.
“I’m not discussing this. And though I appreciate you watching Sammie, I need to go—or are you really going to fight me over her?” She looked so devastated at the thought of losing her pup—and though we both knew Sammie was her dog, I still couldn’t let her walk away from me.
“No…I won’t fight you for her. Clearly, she’s yours, and I wouldn’t want to take her away from you. But if the problem is with living in Seattle when you’d rather be somewhere else, or if it has to do with your dad, then we don’t have to live here. I can work from anywhere.” It’d take some finagling, but I could figure it out, especially since I already did a fair bit of traveling for the distillery. And being that it was the family business, I knew everyone would be understanding of my circumstances.
“I’m not marrying you. I’m not staying in Seattle. And…I don’t want you in my life. So please…just drop it. I need you to forget I ever existed.”
Yet as I cupped her cheek, instead of pulling away from me, her eyes slipped shut and she turned in to my touch, making it so I couldn’t help but lean in and kiss her, my mouth plundering hers, as I swallowed her needy moans. But then she was pulling away, though our heads remained bent together, our breathing heavy.
“Don’t push me away, little bird. This isn’t about your father and my family anymore—it’s about you and me.” I sank my fingers into her thick hair, stealing another kiss as my cock went hard, straining against the fabric of my jeans and making me think of little else but fucking her, claiming her as my own and making her see that we were meant to be. “I don’t know what has you so upset…so worked up…but we’ll deal with it together. No matter what it is.”
“Why do you have to be so stubborn about this?” She shoved at me, though I was going nowhere, since I knew full well what her weaknesses were and the easiest way to get her to come around would be to remind her of all there was between us. “Can’t you just accept that it’s best for everyone involved if we just go our separate ways?”
“And haven’t you learned that we’re better when we’re together? Being away from each other fucking sucks, Wren, and I don’t want to go down that road again.” When I kissed her this time, it was slow and tender, covering her face in kisses as she relaxed against me. “I love you—and I can’t let you go.”
She shook her head and her eyes shimmered with tears once more. “I swear…if you knew the truth…you wouldn’t want me back.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
CHAPTER 22
Wren
I should have kept my mouth shut. Damn it. “It means that you’re better off finding some sweet and sane woman who doesn’t have a ton of baggage.”
“So this is about Steven…and what he put you through?” Ash’s eyes softened as he took me in, looking far too worried.
“My entire life’s a mess, Ash. Any sane person would fucking run as far as possible, and not look back. Besides, it’s not as though you don’t have women falling at your feet. Why the hell are you bothering with me?” I couldn’t tell him the truth. It’d be one thing to have him hate me for leaving him—and another for
him to know that my father was indirectly responsible for his father’s death and had put the whole Blackthorn family in danger.
“Do you really need me to spell it out, Wren? I. Love. You.” He swore under his breath as he nuzzled me, his stubble rough against my cheek, making me want him even more. “No matter what’s happened…what you’ve gone through…I’m not letting you leave me. You’re mine—just as I’m yours—and that’s never going to change.”
I knew Ash, and I could already tell he wasn’t going to let this go. Not when his mind was made up. It was how he’d convinced me to date him in the first place, since dating anyone had been the last thing on my mind, given my mess of a life. But he’d been sweet and persistent, and had worked his charm until I’d fallen so hard for him, it’d been impossible to deny him anything. And now, I was running the same risk, except that there was so much more at stake. He’d truly hate me—and that was a whole lot worse than simply being heartbroken.
Trapped between the sofa and his hard body, my futile and feeble attempts to resist him were pointless, my heart skittering out of control as I took him in. His thick, dark hair was tousled and his rough stubble only gave him that rugged look that made my body crave his touch. But it was his clever green eyes that always did it for me, drawing me into their depths and mesmerizing me into doing his bidding.
I shook my head to try to clear it, though the effect he’d had on my body had yet to fade. “Why do you always do this to me? Why can’t you just let me be?”
“That’s not happening. And the reason I always do this to you is because I need you, Wren—and I desperately want you. Now that I have you back, now that I actually know you and there are no secrets between us, I need you more than the air I breathe—and I know you need me just as much.”
Except that I did have a secret—a damn big one.
And yet, everything else he’d said…I’d like to say he was smug, but we both knew he’d spoken nothing but the truth when it came to my feelings for him. Because the fact that I’d always needed him, wanted him, was a constant and had never wavered, even while we’d been apart. No matter who I’d been with, no one had ever come close to matching what I had with Ash.
