by J. S. Scott
I took the back roads to my home, wondering if Wren would even be there, or if she was already on the road to San Francisco. And fuck…I didn’t have a clue as to how to feel. I was desperate to make things right between us and to be there for her—but how the hell was I supposed to deal with the fact that she had neglected to tell me that her father was responsible for my father’s death?
But as I pulled into my driveway, the thought of her being gone filled me with a panic, and I already felt like I’d lost her even if she was still here. Yet she wasn’t here. Her things were gone and Sammie was nowhere to be found.
Fuck.
I poured myself a whiskey and cursed the fucking world for being such a bitch. I needed to find Wren, and yet a part of me didn’t know how I’d look at her the same—not because of the rape, but because of what her father had done.
I knew it was wrong to blame her when she’d had so few options, but my anger was still too raw to be logical.
CHAPTER 36
Wren
Hours had passed since I left Ash’s home—my home—and I’d yet to make it out of Seattle. I didn’t know where the hell I was going, and when I’d left, I’d had no plans. All I knew was that I couldn’t bear to look into Ash’s eyes as he tried to wrestle with his feelings and all that had happened.
It had been so much easier when I hated him. Yet even then, I still hadn’t been able to stop loving him. He’d just been an easy target for my hurt and anger.
I sat there in a rest area, the ocean just beyond, as the rain fell from a grey sky, even as the sun attempted to peek from behind the clouds. It was just me and Sammie, her head in my lap, looking up at me worried as I did all I could to hold back my tears and convince myself that leaving was for the best. And then my phone rang, and I knew without having to look that it was Ash. I debated not answering, but with my heart breaking, all I wanted was to make things right between us.
The moment I heard his voice, my tears slipped free. “Wren…come back home.”
“I don’t know how we’re supposed to get past this, Ash. How the hell will you look at me and not be reminded of your father’s murder? And how the hell will you touch me again and not think of Evan and everything he did?” I just didn’t know how to change that.
“We’ll get past it because we love each other. And hopefully the cops have already taken Evan in.” He let out a weary sigh that killed me. “I just wish you’d told me the truth from the start, to spare you from having to deal with that fucking bastard.”
“I swear, I tried to stop him… But I couldn’t.” And I’d tried so hard to keep from coming, but my body still betrayed me.
“I know you did, love. I…I heard the recording.” The pain in his voice had me choking back a sob as I pictured him listening to what happened.
But worse still was that he now knew everything that had happened…he’d heard another man fucking me…and he’d heard me come as another man fucked me. “I’m so sorry, Ash…”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. And I know you think I blame you for my dad, but those were your father’s crimes, little bird—not yours.” I wasn’t sure if he fully believed it, but for now I was willing to cling to whatever hope I could hold onto. “This isn’t something we should be discussing over the phone. Just come home, love.”
In the end, I did just that, my heart already his.
Ash pulled open the front door the moment I pulled down the driveway, as if he’d been waiting for me, and immediately pulled me into his strong arms, engulfing me in his protective embrace as I finally broke down completely, still not quite believing he didn’t hate me.
Ash scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the sofa, sitting down with me still in his arms. “Hush…it’ll be okay. We’ll get through this together. But…when you’re feeling up for it, you’ll need to see the police and give them your statement.”
I dreaded the thought of having to relive my nightmare in detail, but I knew that it’d be necessary in order for the police to strengthen their murder case. “Can we do it now? I want to get this over with so I can put it all behind me.”
“Are you sure you’re up for it?” He looked so worried about me, and yet when I leaned over and kissed him, I felt his body stiffen—and it fucking killed me.
I sat up out of his arms and got to my feet, needing some distance. “Yeah…I’m up for it.”
“Wren…I’m sorry.” He tangled his fingers with mine and pulled me to him so I was now standing between his legs as his green eyes locked on mine.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about when none of this is your fault.” Though that may very well be the case, it didn’t keep my walls from going up. “If you could just let me know which police station you went to, I’d like to get that out of the way.”
“I’m coming with you. There’s no way I’m letting you go through this on your own.” He stood and pulled me to him, before I had the chance to distance myself. “I love you, Wren—with all my heart.”
I wanted to believe him, and yet how could our circumstances be ignored—and clearly they couldn’t, if that kiss was anything to go by. “You don’t owe me anything, Ash. And I don’t want you sticking around because you somehow feel bad for me, especially when you were blackmailed into marrying me in the first place, and it was my dad manipulating things all along. The fact that he had your father murdered so he could force you into marrying me…I can’t even imagine how you must feel.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Wren. Things feel raw right now. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. And I don’t see your father’s crimes when I look at you.” He closed the distance between us, cupping my face in his hand as his gaze held mine. “I see the woman I love. A woman who’s been repeatedly wronged by the people who should have been there for her. And I refuse to have my name added to that list.”
More than anything, I wanted to believe him. But before I could voice my fears, his mouth slanted over mine in a hungry kiss that held nothing back. There was no hesitation…no disgust…no anger toward me. Just the heat and passion of the love between us.
And just like that, with a single kiss, my world righted itself. It might still need a whole lot of work to fix everything, but it finally felt as if things would be okay.
I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me, pressing my lips to his for another kiss. “I love you, Ash. More than life itself.”
“And you’re my whole world, little bird. You have my word, we’ll find a way to get through this—together.”
With Ash by my side, and my hand held tightly in his, I told the police detective assigned to the case everything I knew, even though I couldn’t bear to look at Ash as I went into the details of my discussion with my father, and then more recently with Evan, especially once Detective Leary asked me about the rape. And though Ash stiffened by my side, his anger palpable, I somehow managed to get through it.
“You’ll be glad to know we’ve picked up Evan Rhodes. I’m sorry, but…we’ll need to collect what evidence there is on your body.” The detective’s voice was kind and apologetic, though it came as no surprise that they’d need to examine me, even if there was likely little evidence left, aside from the bruising and cuts.
Although Ash wasn’t allowed to accompany me during the exam, he did wait for me outside the examination room. And knowing that he would be waiting there for me gave me the strength I needed to get through this.
Now all I could do is hope that we’d eventually find our way back to some sort of normal.
CHAPTER 37
Ash
Trying to rein in my anger took all the strength I had. But I needed to stay calm for Wren. Everything else could wait.
I sat there in a hard plastic chair doing my best not to think of everything she’d been through—and then I spotted the bastard as he was being escorted down the hall, his hands cuffed.
It didn’t matter that he was flanked by several officers.
I saw red. And then I was on my feet, stalking toward Evan, and before I could think any of it through, my fist was connecting with his face even as the officers tried to pull me off him. But I wasn’t going to go easily, and landed several more shots before they were able to haul me away as I cursed him to every hell possible.
Needless to say, Detective Leary wasn’t happy with me as he stuffed me back in the room where we’d been before they took Wren for her examination. “Look…I get it, but pull another stunt like that, and you’ll be spending the night in jail.”
“That’s fine as long as you put me in the same cell as that sick bastard.” I paced the floor of the small room, relishing my cut and bruised knuckles, though he deserved a hell of a lot worse than I managed to dole out in the short time I was given before they pulled me away.
“Landing yourself in prison won’t help your wife get through this. And trust me…we’ve got enough evidence to bury him for a whole lot more than just your father’s murder and what he did to your wife.” But before we could say anything more, Wren was back, walking straight into my arms.
Luckily the detective let us go, having already gotten our statements. And though it felt like Wren and I should be able to finally put this behind us with Evan on his way to jail for a very long time, things were still uneasy between us.
We said little during the ride home, though when I gave her hand a squeeze, she let out a weary breath and leaned up against my side as I draped my arm over her shoulder, leaving me grateful for any connection between us. Because that was all we needed—just a sliver of hope that things might turn out okay.
We could work with that, because in the end, we truly loved each other, even if the world around us kept trying to pull us apart and tear us down.
As one day rolled into the next, and one week turned into two, I did all I could to make sure she knew I loved her…that she was my everything and that I in no way blamed her for her father’s sins. But I didn’t know how to get past what had been done to her, short of simply being there for her.
I’d kept my distance sexually, and just tried my best to comfort her, and let her take the lead, though after all she’d been through, I was finally able to convince her to talk to a therapist who could help her deal with things—and thank fuck, it was going well, even if we no doubt had a long road ahead of us.
And yet as time passed, I felt her frustration with our situation growing. We needed to try to find our way back to some sense of normal, though how she’d get over the abuse she’d suffered, I didn’t have a clue, despite the help she was getting. I just couldn’t even imagine… And so all I could do is try to be there for her. “Let me draw you a bath, love.”
Wren nodded, wrapping her arms around her body, looking far too frail and vulnerable. “Will you join me?”
“I will if you want me to. But if you’d rather be alone, that’s fine too. Whatever you need.” Hell, I’d lay the stars at her feet if I could. Anything to make her happy.
“I don’t want to be alone, Ash. Things between us have been too quiet, and when they’re quiet, then my thoughts…they get too loud.” Her voice sounded so small and haunted—and it fucking killed me. “I need to get back to the way we were. It’s the only way for me to move on.”
I’d do whatever it took to make her happy…whatever it took to let her know she was now safe.
“Come here, love…” I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me, cupping her face as I brushed my thumb over her cheek. “Whatever you want…I’m here for you. Because I hate it when you look so worried.”
She leaned into my touch as her eyes slipped closed and she wrapped her arms around my neck. “Tell me we’ll get through this. That you won’t leave me.”
“I’m going to make sure of it—and I’m never leaving you, little bird. You’re my whole world…my everything.” I caught her mouth in a slow and tender kiss, not wanting to scare her off or freak her out. And when she didn’t pull away, it felt like we might finally be okay. By the time we broke our kiss, my head was spinning, our time apart far too long. “I fucking love you, Wren.”
“And I love you.” Pulling me to her, she kissed me again, one kiss rolling into the next until all our problems were left behind us. “Help me forget, Ash…”
We somehow managed to pull away long enough to make it to the bath, where I got the water running and slowly stripped her clothes from her body, doing my best to look out for any signs that she was uneasy. “If you need me to stop…if you need me to slow down…just let me know. And we don’t need to do this at all. You set the pace, love.”
She answered me with another kiss, and as I slowly stripped the clothes from her body, she yanked my t-shirt up over my head and then started to work the button on my jeans. And though she now stood before me naked, I forced myself to ignore what she’d been through, knowing that she didn’t need my anger and frustration with what she’d had to endure.
I finished getting undressed and then stepped into the tub, reaching over to take her hand and help her in, relieved when she nestled in at my side. And though it was silly to think it, as she lay there in my arms, it felt like we were washing away everything that happened, the steaming hot water cleansing our souls.
With her cradled against my chest, she looked up at me, her blue eyes still dark with worry. “I need you to know that I’m so incredibly sorry about your father, Ash. And I know that what happened with Evan isn’t my fault, but I still feel like I need to apologize for not being able to…you know…hold back. I’m so ashamed…and I’m so sorry…”
Her eyes slipped shut as her tears ran free, even as I tightened my hold on her, though it was damn hard to push the memory of that recording from my head. Because I didn’t just hear her struggles and her screams…I heard the all too familiar sounds of her coming. And yet I knew it’d been out of her control, her body’s wiring screwed up after years of abuse.
I kissed the top of her head, hating that this had been haunting her for weeks now. “It’s not your fault, Wren. You’re a survivor and you should hold your head up high. The men who wronged you are the ones who should be ashamed. Not you, love. Never you.”
CHAPTER 38
Wren
I didn’t know if I’d ever heard kinder words—and in that moment they were exactly what I’d needed to hear. It was the first time since this all started that I felt like we might actually make it through this, and I couldn’t be any more relieved or grateful. “Tell me we’ll be okay, Ash.”
He brushed my hair from my face, and leaned in to kiss me. “You have my word—we’ll be more than just okay, love. Because I fucking love you. I always have. You’re mine, Wren. And I’m never letting you go.”
The guilt that had been strangling me for the last two weeks finally let its hold slip free, and for the first time in well over a decade, it felt like I could finally breathe freely again. “I love you too. So fucking much, Ash.”
And then he was kissing me, his fingers sinking into my hair as he hauled me to him in a kiss that freed my very soul, that left me feeling whole. My tongue clashed with his as I shifted to straddle his lap, his hands gripping my hips to guide me down onto his hard cock. Yet I couldn’t help but worry that Ash was doing this out of some sort of obligation because we were now married. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“More than the air I breathe. I’ll always want you, little bird.” His mouth was hard on mine once more, as he thrust up into me, so I could focus on nothing but him, our pace all-consuming from the very start, no care given to the water splashing all around us.
And yet it wasn’t just our bodies coming together that was pushing me over the edge: it was knowing that we’d make it through this, that he loved me just as I loved him, and that he saw me for who I was without letting my past taint who he saw. What we had wouldn’t be dictated
by the actions of others, nor would it be defined by how we’d been wronged.
Looking into each other’s eyes, we rode the building energy of our orgasms, our pace quickening as our kisses deepened, one rolling into the next, until I was crying out his name, my body quivering in his arms as he chased my orgasm with his. He came with a primal grunt, pulling my body down as he continued to thrust into me, filling me with his cum.
We stayed that way until our breathing finally slowed, our bodies uncoupling as I relaxed in his arms, finally feeling at peace…finally feeling whole. “I love you, Ash. With all my heart.”
“And I love you, little bird.”
Eight months had passed since they’d arrested Evan, and the trial was finally getting underway with the jury selection. It promised to be a long trial, given the amount of evidence the police had managed to find, in the long list of crimes they were now charging him with.
Though I wanted justice for myself and Ash’s father, I didn’t want either Ash or myself to have to relive our nightmare. And for once, it would appear that luck was on our side, as I listened in on Ash’s conversation as he spoke with the prosecuting attorney. And by the sounds of it, Evan had taken the deal the prosecution offered him, in exchange for turning in evidence against other criminals.
Ash looked at me as he repeated what he’d just heard. “So you’re telling me that Evan has admitted to his crimes, and in return, he won’t be facing the death penalty for other murders he’d committed in a different state? But he’ll be serving a life sentence instead… And what about parole? Parole is still on the table, though it would be decades before he became eligible…I appreciate you calling to let me know.”
As Ash hung up, I slipped into his arms and let him hold me tight. “Tell me this means it’s over.”
