by Mav Skye
Chloe stopped singing at a natural pause in the song. Her heart sank into her ribs. In fact, it puddled through her stomach, down her legs, over the stage, and into the ground.
Chloe kept singing. She kept singing because if she stopped, then the world would stop spinning, and they’d have to take her off the stage in a casket.
Kara Leigh pulled back, but she kept her arms around Donny’s neck. They swayed to the music. Every second breaking Chloe’s heart into more and more pieces.
She heard the shake of a rattler’s tail the second before she saw a shadow of movement behind Donny. As the crowd clapped and waved, light reached its fingers further and further past the crowd, revealing the form in the shadows. It had a painted face, a red beepy nose, and—bunny ears.
A balloon caught the light, shimmering a blood red above the crowd as if it were the moon.
The song ended, but Chloe had hardly noticed. Her mouth still moved, but no words came out. The clown waved at her, bye-bye. People shifted, and once more the clown was lost in shadows.
The teens clapped and whistled. Kelly grabbed Chloe’s hand (which had subconsciously reached for Godzilla on her earlobe) and they both bowed.
Kelly covered the top of her mic before asking, “What’s wrong? You were wonderful.”
Chloe nodded toward Donny.
Kelly said, “What is she doing here?” Then, “Kara Leigh. Oh, Chloe… I’m sorry.” She squeezed Chloe’s hand. “One more song. You can do this.”
“I don’t even know what song—”
“One more song, dude and dudettes! We’ve got Whitney Houston’s latest, a bold choice if I say so myself, I Will Always Love You.”
A cheerleader chuckled.
“Oh. My,” The words echoed through the speakers. Chloe brought her hand to her mouth, dropped the mic, turning her back to the crowd. Panic fluttered its wings in her stomach, up her throat. She was going to throw up. She was definitely going to throw up. She squeezed her Godzilla earring over and over, wishing he’d suddenly appear and breathe fire from above.
The DJ continued. “I Will Always Love You is dedicated to a very lucky Donny out there tonight. You girls ready to kill it?”
Chloe moaned.
Kelly grabbed Chloe by the shoulder. “You can do this. Forget about Donny. Sing. Be here. Be in the now. Trust yourself. Enjoy the moment, Chloe.”
“Huh?” Chloe’s thoughts raced a million miles an hour. Donny, Kara Leigh…Mr. Jingles and his blood red balloon.
Kelly grabbed Chloe by the shoulders and twisted her around. “I said,” she took Chloe’s hand and put a mic in it, “Enjoy the moment.” It was a command. One that Chloe was grateful for as the music started. She recognized the tune and realized she’d heard it on the radio quite a bit.
She glanced at the words on the TV, stood up straight and focused on her diaphragm like her teacher in fourth-grade choir had taught her. When the words left her lips, the crowd clapped and Kelly, still gripping her hand, squeezed it, then joined in.
Her eyes kept wandering to the edge of the crowd where only Donny stood now. Kara Leigh was gone, and so was Mr. Jingles. Perhaps she’d imagined them both?
Feeling bolder, letting Kelly’s words move her. Be here. Be in the now. Trust yourself. She got into the song, who cared if it was sappy Whitney Houston? She let her voice fall and rise. Kelly followed her lead. Everything else fell away. Once again, the crowd clapped.
As the song ended, Chloe and Kelly once more held hands, crooning at the crowd when there was a noise behind her.
Kelly was saying, “Chloe! The speaker!”
Chloe leaped forward, but not fast enough. There was a loud crash as the speaker hit the stage, the edge of it catching on the spare six inches of robe draping behind her. There was a violent tug…and then a breeze on her skin.
Chloe froze as everyone quieted. Someone wolf-whistled. Another pointed and shrieked in surprise, and then the crowd began to howl in laughter.
She was naked. She was naked in front of everyone on a stage with the spotlight on her. Chloe still held the mic, slack-jawed, the breeze teasing her skin, exposing every inch of her as the teens pointed and rolled on the ground. Someone scurried about her, throwing the robe around her shoulders. It fell off, and there was more guffawing.
As Chloe stood there in shock, one particular voice drew her attention away from the crowd. She recognized the cackling coming from behind her.
There were more wolf-whistles when Chloe spun to confront the cheerleader standing by the overturned speaker, revealing her backside to the crowd. The guys cat-called, but Chloe didn’t hear them. Her entire being focused on the slender cheerleader standing behind the overturned speaker.
Kara Leigh.
Kara Leigh’s perfect blonde curls bounced up and down like pom-poms, a horrific sneer painting her lips as she pointed at Chloe, the indescribable chortling searing Chloe’s ears like a hot brand. Kara Leigh’s voice rose above everyone else’s. It was even louder than the music. Maybe the DJ really was the devil, Slayer’s Hell Awaits pounded through the single standing bass speaker.
Kara Leigh in her tiny cheerleader skirt and half top. Kara Leigh whose obnoxious cackle would brand her the wicked witch of Spindler forever. But her cackle wasn’t what people would remember from this night.
Oh, no.
Somewhere in the darkness beyond the stage, a snake rattled its tail. It grew louder. Louder.
Kara Leigh pursed her lips; then four words left her mouth. “It was an accident.”
A growl escaped Chloe’s lips.
Kara Leigh twirled her hair and tilted her head to the side. “How was I supposed to know the speaker could tip over so easily?”
Kelly was tugging at Chloe. “Put your robe on, Chloe. Let’s get off stage.” Kelly begged her, “Please?”
But Chloe barely heard her. At another shake of the rattlesnake tail, she shoved the mic into Kelly’s hands. She walked in slow motion toward the cackling witch.
A brief expression of surprise lit Kara Leigh’s face right before Chloe bitch-slapped her so hard that Kara Leigh fell over.
Behind them, the crowd cheered.
Kara Leigh leaped back to her feet like the seasoned cheerleader she was. Chloe was about to turn around when Kara Leigh’s knuckles slammed into Chloe’s jaw.
She would have fallen if Kelly wasn’t behind her, keeping her on her feet.
The crowd’s cheers became a wave of midnight fight club voices. “Finish her!”
The serpent’s rattle exploded in Chloe’s ears. She reached out and snatched one of Kara Leigh’s perfect pom-poms of blonde hair, and yanked.
The crowd exploded again.
Kara Leigh shrieked.
Chloe dodged the girl’s evil claws as she pulled the cheerleader by the hair like a dog on a leash to the edge of the stage. The crowd had become one smooth wave of demonic cheers and shrieks. “Finish her!”
Chloe let go of Kara Leigh’s pigtail, and before the girl with the perfect legs and the perfect hair and the perfect boyfriend could find her balance, Chloe kicked her squarely in the ass.
The kick sent Kara Leigh sprawling off the stage. Instead of catching the girl, the crowd parted, leaving her collapsed in a heap on the hard ground. The cheerleaders pooled around Kara Leigh, pointing and laughing.
Someone in the crowd screamed, “Chloe! Chloe! Chloe!” And everyone joined in, cheering Chloe’s name.
Chloe backed away from the edge of the stage, blinded by the spotlight, shocked at what she had done, shocked that she was still naked. Kelly was wrapping the robe around her when Chloe felt familiar, strong arms pick her up and carry her off the stage and through the crowd that were now just kids her own age.
They gawked at her, cheering her name. Through the faces, she saw the DJ, his gold tooth sparkling. And then something red caught her eye. She looked away from the crowd and found the red balloon, floating up, up into the clouds.
Chloe wrapped the robe closer to h
erself as Joey buckled her into his grandfather’s truck, and shut the door. He walked around to the driver’s side and keyed the engine. It turned over twice before starting.
He turned on the heater and buckled himself in. The kids had started to pour out of the house, wanting to gawk more at the naked girl who kicked Kara Leigh’s ass. One of the football players pounded on Chloe’s window, startling her.
The football player pushed his entire mouth against the glass of the window. “I will always love you, Chloe Sevenstars!”
Joey mumbled under his breath. “Asshole.”
Chloe unbuckled her seat belt and moved across the bench seat, cuddling up next to Joey as he fumbled with the gear shift. It slipped three times before the gear caught and lurched the truck forward. The football player fell backward with the kick, and Joey pulled onto the street and into the night.
Neither of them said a word when the ambulance passed them going the other way.
Once they were out of town, when the sidewalk ended, and the forest began, Chloe said, “I didn’t know you could drive.” She still sat by him on the bench seat; his arm draped protectively around her shoulders.
He gave her a playful squeeze. “I didn’t know you could sing like Whitney Houston.”
Joey tossed a carefree grin her way, but she was too exhausted to smile back, plus she had other things on her mind like, “Were you invited to the party?”
“Duh, Chloe. Of course, I was invited.”
Chloe glared at him as Joey flipped on the blinker and turned into the Misty Goose trailer court. The radio was turned down low. Concrete Blonde sang their latest hit, Joey.
He said, “It was last second.”
“Oh.” She chewed on her lower lip as they wound around Misty Avenue. It was quiet for a Saturday night. There was an awkward silence as the radio crooned about the boy who sat next to her. Well, it might as well have been her Joey.
He glanced over at her, and she knew he could read her thoughts.
Chloe’s pulse picked up, and she reached for Godzilla on her ear. His gaze rested on where her robe slipped open between the dip in her thighs. Chloe punched him in the ribs, and quickly covered her legs.
He grinned briefly as a street light flickered out, casting shadows on his face. “So… What happened to your clothes?”
“We fell in the river.”
He raised an eyebrow at her, and she shrugged. “We wore these while we waited for our clothes to dry.”
“We?”
“Yeah, Kelly and I. Why the interrogation? Did I commit a crime?”
“No, but you did just put Spindler High’s favorite cheerleader in the ER.”
Chloe frowned.
“It was a joke.” He clucked his tongue as he turned down Goose Avenue. “Touchy, touchy. Look, I’m sure she’s fine.”
“The ambulance—”
“You don’t know it was going to Weasel’s house.”
“I do.” Chloe didn’t know how she knew; perhaps it was the angle at which Kara Leigh had landed. Or the way she hadn’t moved. Or the obvious crunch of a bone snapping when she hit the ground.
“What, are you psychic now?”
“Shut up.”
“Okay.”
He parked the rig in front of her trailer. Inside, a gentle light shone through the ivory lace curtains in the dining room, giving her home a warm ambience. Still, a thought nagged her. “Kara Leigh wasn’t supposed to be there tonight. If she’d gone to Greece with her grandparents, none of this would have happened.”
“Um…yeah, I heard her grandmother caught the flu, had to be hospitalized. Besides, plans change all the time, you know? That’s life.”
Chloe turned to Joey so that they were face to face. “I know Kelly. She would have made absolutely sure Kara Leigh wouldn’t be there.”
Joey’s face grew serious, scolding even. It was times like these that one could see there was far more swimming beneath the surface than he ever let on. “Chloe, it was Weasel’s party.”
“And Kelly is Weasel’s girlfriend. If she asked him to make sure Kara Leigh wouldn’t show up, he’d make it happen.”
Joey’s face turned from scolding to another emotion he rarely let show. In his eyes hung a sad, dark cloud. “Look, like it or not, Weasel, Donny, Kara Leigh, Mercedes, the other football players, cheerleaders, they are all friends. They have been for years, and they aren’t just going to drop each other on a whim because Kelly asks, or if you don’t get along with one of them.”
As much as Chloe hated it, he spoke the truth. And worse, she felt guilty expecting things to change just because she wanted it to. She was selfish for thinking that.
Donny continued, “It’s like, it’s like this. You are like a solid tree. Kara Leigh and the rest, they are glamourous diamonds.”
“Gee, thanks.” Chloe folded her arms across her chest and turned toward the dash.
“Come on, you know what I’m saying. Diamonds are just pretty rocks. You are…” He struggled for a word. “Alive.”
Chloe knew he meant that as a compliment, but pretty rocks don’t get haunted by clowns. Pretty rocks get the boyfriends. Pretty rocks were more desirable than a stupid ol’ tree. Pretty rocks don’t get accused of being crazy and medicated. Pretty rocks—
Joey tapped her shoulder. “Hey, space cadet? I can go back and get your clothes and purse if you like?”
“No. I don’t want to see any of it ever again.”
There was a pause of silence between them. Beyond the trailer, the outline of trees stood tall against the night like shadow soldiers. The sky was a deep black, yawning abyss unleashing stalking clowns and dark circuses for forgetful old women to visit.
“I’m sorry about what happened tonight, Chloe.” Joey squeezed her shoulder lightly. Chloe surprised herself and Joey when she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. With her head on his chest, she could hear his steady heartbeat. It comforted her, though there was something different about him. A smell. He was wearing cologne. Joey could hardly be bothered to put on deodorant, much less cologne. “You’re wearing cologne.”
Joey nuzzled his chin against her hair. “To make up for the 1001 Yo Mama jokes.”
Chloe smiled against his t-shirt. “Thank you, for always being there, Joey.”
Of course, Joey had to spoil the moment by being the jokester once again.
“Just sayin’, you look… a lot different… from when Mama Nola would put us in the bath together. I mean, wow.”
“Ugh. Shut up.”
“Okay.”
They sat in silence for a moment longer. With Joey’s arm around her, and the engine purring, Chloe could almost close her eyes and forget tonight had ever happened, but she wouldn’t.
She’d never forget.
A question reared its ugly face in her mind. She tried to make it go away, but it wouldn’t stop nagging at her. “Who invited you?”
Joey sighed and rubbed his face in her hair. “It doesn’t matter.”
Chloe pulled away. “Who?”
He said, “If I tell you, are you going to yank my hair and kick my ass?”
She crossed her arms. “I will if you don’t tell me.”
He put his hands over his eyes and breathed. The words slipped out so quietly, that Chloe was sure she misheard him. “Who?”
Joey turned off the engine so that it was utterly quiet around them. And when he said it again, Chloe could not believe her ears.
“Kara Leigh invited me.”
Everything suddenly made sense. How else would he have known her grandma was in the hospital with the flu? It’s why he was wearing cologne. Not only did Kara Leigh have Donny wrapped around her pinky finger, but she had Joey, too. Was there nothing that girl couldn’t have?
Chloe scooted across the bench seat and yanked on the door latch three times before it opened the door. Joey caught the back of her robe and tugged it before she fled into the night. “Please, Chloe, don’t be like this.”
She fought against his pull on her robe. “You drove her to the party! You are just as wrapped up in her as Donny is.”
“Chloe, wait. Please.”
Chloe smacked at his hand. “Let me go!”
He said, “I won’t let go until you let me explain.”
“I don’t need the pretty rock lecture.”
The hurt showed on his face. His eyes once more an ancient embodiment of sadness. “That was a compliment. You need to stop throwing a hissy fit and listen for once.”
Chloe growled much like she had when she had bitch-slapped Kara Leigh. She untied her robe and leaped through the door naked. Joey sat there shocked with a handful of the robe as she slammed the door and ran for the trailer. She didn’t have a key, but they kept a spare under the welcome mat.
She snatched it up and unlocked the door as she heard Joey close his truck door. “Chloe.”
“Keep your pretty diamonds to yourself!” She slammed the front door and locked it before he could get close. She wiped the tears away from her face as she ran to her room and threw herself onto her bed, letting the monster inside unleash itself on her pillow.
Later, she pulled a nightgown on and tiptoed into Mama Nola’s room. The old woman slept on her back; her peppered hair spread like angel wings. Chloe slipped under the blankets and snuggled up beside her. The old woman placed a hand on Chloe’s cheek, and Chloe focused on the warmth of her mother’s hand.
She was already asleep when the truck outside started up and pulled out of the driveway.
His Journal
July 2nd, 1990
I feel chained inside my own darkness, waiting, struggling, to see the sun through the shadows. No one knows. No one knows because I choose to wear a mask. Masks are made to be worn and taken off, but what if I kept it on? Would I become the beast, or would the beast become me?
But most of all, would you love me more or less? If only I knew.
10
Dark Thoughts
“GET YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE AND don’t come back!”
