Now and Again

by Rothert, Brenda

  She was dressed in a plain gray t-shirt, jeans and a Cubs hat, about to spend the day hiking with the man who’d brought her to a new sexual peak the night before. The juxtaposition was odd for her, since in the past she’d either had men as friends or sexual partners, but never both.

  “Were you ever a beauty queen?” Ben asked as he pulled a frayed White Sox hat on. Layla bristled at the question. Her reputation as a cheerleading, sorority-letter wearing Mean Girl wasn’t something she wanted him to know about.

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Because you’ve got the look. You know, beautiful, confident, sexy …” He met her eyes and she looked away, unnerved by the compliment.

  “Sure, I did some of that stuff when I was younger,” she said. “Have you hiked here before?”

  “Yeah, a few times. Always by myself, though. You ready, Cupcake?”

  “Sure. How far is this trail?”

  “We can either do 12 miles or take a shortcut and do eight. We don’t have to decide yet.”

  Layla followed behind him, eyeing his broad shoulders and long legs. His worn camouflage pants were tucked inside rugged hiking boots.

  “Did you get those pants in the Marines?” she asked, her feet crunching through brush and fallen leaves on the ground.

  “Yep. I wear them hiking cause they’re good for climbing.”

  “Um, I don’t think I’ll be very good at climbing.”

  “Don’t worry, we won’t have to do much.”

  Layla wound her ponytail through the hole in her baseball cap and pulled it down onto her head, trailing behind Ben. They’d walked beneath a canopy of big trees into dense woods with a narrow dirt trail.

  “It’s quiet here,” she said.

  “Yeah, especially when you’re used to the noise of the city.”

  They were silent as they traveled deeper into the forest, and the rugged terrain made Layla work up a sweat quickly. After nearly an hour, they stopped by a small creek to rest, and Ben sat down at the base of a large old oak tree, opening an arm to her. She sat between his spread legs, resting her back against his chest.

  “You like this okay?” he asked.

  “It’s great. I’m getting a good workout and it’s more fun than the gym.”

  “Good. I was hoping you’d like it.”

  She gathered her courage, not sure she had the guts to ask the question she’d been wondering about since they’d first met.

  “Can I ask a personal question?” she asked, turning to look at him.

  Ben grinned at her. “We’ve gotten pretty personal already. Ask me anything.”

  “How many relationships have you had?”

  A few seconds passed and he seemed to be thinking. “Uh … I’m not much of a relationship guy.”

  “So, never?”

  “I had a girlfriend for a year in high school. But then I went to Basic and she went to college and we just called things off. And I just had casual hookups for my first couple years in the Marines. Then when I got sent to the Middle East …” He sighed and looked into the distance, seeming to consider whether he wanted to continue.

  “You don’t have to tell me if you’d rather not,” she said, turning around so they were face to face.

  “No, I don’t mind. I just don’t talk about it much.” He rubbed the scruff on his cheeks as he looked back at her. “There was a woman I worked with, Steph. She was pretty and all, but I just wasn’t that into her. She liked me a lot, though, and after so long, you get lonely over there. Our unit did bomb defusion and disposal and we were focused on not getting our asses blown up all the time. I didn’t want a woman breaking my concentration.”

  Layla sat completely still, not wanting anything to interrupt Ben’s sharing of something so clearly personal to him.

  “Anyway, she was a sweet girl. I was 21 and she was 19, and she just kinda started to grow on me. We spent more time together, got really close, and before long I was really into her. We’d been together for about three months and she was working with another guy from our unit on disarming an explosive. One of them made a mistake and it went off. They were both killed.”

  “Oh, Ben.” Layla was gripped by a wave of sadness. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’ve seen women for more than one date since then, but never done a full-on relationship. It’s just never felt right. I don’t think it’s because of what happened to Steph, though. I’m just too rough around the edges.”

  Layla wished she was the compassionate sort. Emma would know what to say right now, but she didn’t.

  “Maybe no one’s been good enough,” she said.

  “I don’t know. There are so many women out there who just want to sink their claws in and get married immediately.”

  “You definitely don’t seem like the marrying kind,” she said, grinning. Ben feigned a hurt expression but was smiling, too.

  “What about you? Had many relationships?” he asked.

  “Not really. I had a couple in college and have had a few since, but nothing very long. You know, a couple months, tops. I’ve been that girl with her claws out before, desperate to get married. I have this list that I made in high school … I wanted to be married by age 28, and I’ll be 27 soon. When I turned 26 I just went into freak-out mode over it.”

  “No. You, freak-out mode?” Ben teased.

  Layla poked him playfully. “I knew that if I was going to have a year-long engagement, I had less than a year to meet my future husband. I was the most aggressive woman you’ve ever seen. I even went after Cole before I knew he was with Em. But after the blowout over that I just reevaluated things and decided it’s stupid to let a list I made as a teenager run my life. I’ve done a lot of other things on it, but marriage is too important to jump into over a list.”

  “I’d have to agree with you there.”

  “I didn’t like who I’d become, so I decided to step back and focus on me. Just me. Fortunately, I’m selfish by nature, so it wasn’t too tough,” she said.

  “But surely you don’t want to be alone forever.”

  “I’m okay with it at this point. I feel so much better about myself than I did when I was having casual sex. My friend Melanie tells me to remember that I’m a prize, not to be given to just anyone.”

  “You are,” Ben said softly. He pushed a hand under the back of her shirt, stroking her skin gently. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation.

  “Did you have a good time last night?” she asked, her voice nearly a whisper.

  “Yes. Last night was incredible for me. Couldn’t you tell?”

  “I know you enjoyed it and all, but . . . I’m sorry about—”

  “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

  She met his eyes with a serious look. “Aren’t you pissed that someone so easy won’t put out?”

  “I don’t want you to put out, Layla. It’s not like that. And you seriously need to quit saying shit like that about yourself.”

  “Don’t get pissed, I’m just saying I feel self-conscious about it, okay?”

  “Well, don’t. We both had a great time last night and now we’re having a great time today. There’s no one I’d rather be with.”

  He reached around her waist and pulled her into his lap, and Layla was drawn into his warm, sweaty chest. When his lips met hers, she flipped his hat off and reached into his hair to tug on it, filled with an urge to be closer to him. He’d trusted her with something important when he’d told her about Steph. She wanted to open herself up and trust him back.

  His mouth moved down to her neck and she tipped her head back. He’d figured out she loved to be kissed there, and not always gently. When she felt him harden underneath her, she felt an overwhelming need for him.

  “I want you, Ben,” she said in his ear. “Right now.”

  His groan was a mixture of arousal and disappointment. “Not here, baby.”

  Layla pushed back and stared at him. “Why not? I’m on the pill. It’s okay if you don’t have condom
s. I got tested six months ago and I haven’t been with anyone since.”

  Ben scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed. “I want to, Layla. I’d like nothing more than to fuck you right up against this tree. But if you weren’t ready last night, you’re probably not ready today. And I don’t want the first time to be a quick screw in the woods.”

  “Sure, I understand.” She looked down.

  “Hey.” Ben cupped her chin and forced her to meet his eyes. “I haven’t earned the prize yet, but I’m working on it, okay?”

  Layla smiled, resting her forehead against his. No man had ever turned down sex when she’d offered it, but she didn’t feel rejected. Ben’s resistance, even when she could feel how he wanted her, reminded her that he was the special type of man who had always eluded her. Despite his boldness so far, he was a gentleman. She wanted so badly not to screw this up.

  ***

  When she sailed through the door of the bakery and saw Ben on his knees fitting a section of hardwood into the floor, Layla felt a catch in her chest. He’d been here working for a couple hours while she stayed late at the office.

  “Hey,” he said warmly, glancing up when he saw her.

  “Hi.” She watched him fit the slat of wood into a groove and secure it with a nail gun. Seeing how capable he was with his hands made something stir inside her. She wanted those hands on her.

  “Hey, you’re here, I’ll get dinner out,” Emma said as she came through the kitchen door.

  “You guys didn’t have to wait on me. It’s almost nine,” Layla said.

  “We’ve all been busy. Ben’s fixing some bad boards so we can get the floor re-sanded. He’s been a huge help.”

  “Where’s Cole?”

  “In the kitchen with me. We’re tiling. Well, trying, anyway. Ben’s teaching us.”

  Layla felt arms reaching around her from behind and she smiled. She pressed her back against Ben and he stepped back.

  “I’m all sweaty,” he said.

  She turned around and reached for his neck. “I like you sweaty. Come here.”

  Ben smiled as she tipped her face up to kiss him. She tasted salty sweat on his mouth and felt the dampness on the back of his neck.

  “I want to get you all sweaty, too,” he said in a low voice as their lips parted. “Come home with me tonight.”

  She smiled. Jill and Travis had Prince, and she wanted more than just a taste of Ben. “Okay.”

  “Just come back for dinner when you guys want,” Emma said, turning to go back into the kitchen.

  “We should go eat,” Layla said, turning to follow her sister. A sharp smack on her ass made her jump.

  “Ben! That stings a little.”

  “You liked it. Your ass looks hot in that skirt.”

  She opened her mouth to argue and hated herself when she smiled instead. She had liked it. What the hell?

  When Layla pushed through the kitchen doors, Cole and Emma were standing close together near the kitchen island. Emma was pulling foil away from a glass dish. A savory smell filled the room and reminded Layla she’d skipped lunch.

  “Em, this kitchen!” Layla cried. “It’s coming together so fast!”

  “Yeah, the contractor we hired is great. Do you like it?”

  Layla eyed the wide commercial range and several stainless wall ovens. The floor was black and white checkered tile and the walls were creamy yellow. “I love it. It’s fantastic.”

  “I don’t know if this will be any good or not, I sort of experimented with some stuff,” Emma said, serving food onto thick white plates with a spatula. “It’s chicken with a lemon and white wine sauce. I made risotto, too.”

  Layla pulled a stool up to the island and sat down, taking the plate her sister slid her way. The chicken was rich, moist and possibly the best thing she’d eaten in a very long time.

  “You just made this up?” Ben asked as he wiped a napkin across his mouth. “It’s amazing.”

  Emma grinned at him. “You like it?”

  “I love it.”

  “It’s great, babe,” Cole said, laying a hand on her back. “Sit down and eat, you’ve been working all day.”

  “Do you guys want wine or bread?” Emma asked. “Let me get those out and then I’ll sit with you.”

  She sliced and poured and Layla’s brows shot up when Ben sipped wine from the glass Emma passed him.

  “You hate wine,” she said.

  He shrugged. “Thought I’d try it. Come share it with me.” He patted his thigh and Layla moved from her stool to sit on his lap. He wrapped an arm around her lower back while they ate and she decided to forgive him over the wine.

  “How’s our tile looking, Ben?” Emma asked.

  He glanced at the white subway tile on the backsplash. “Not bad. If the contractor left his tile saw I’ll cut pieces for your edges.”

  “Maybe we should just let the contractor finish,” Cole said. “You’ve been working really long days here, Em.”

  “You have, too. And we need to save money where we can.”

  Ben finished his food and nudged Layla off of his lap, getting up to examine the tile.

  “You’ve got to use the spacers,” he said.

  “I know how to space it,” Cole said sharply.

  “But even if you get it perfect they can slide while the adhesive’s drying.”

  Emma intervened and grabbed a couple plastic tile spacers. “Show me again how they go,” she said, handing them to Ben. She leaned down near the counter and he bent next to her. Layla felt a flare of jealousy over the thought of Emma smelling Ben’s sweat and sandalwood scent.

  Ben’s shoulder brushed Emma’s as he showed her how to install the spacer, and Layla furrowed her brows, reminding herself she was being irrational. She’d just eaten dinner from his lap.

  Cole blew out a breath and shook his head from the other side of the island. “Alright, Bob Vila, I think she’s got it.” The edge in his voice made Ben, Emma and Layla all turn to look at him.

  “Cole?” Emma tipped her head with confusion.

  “You don’t need to fucking touch her to show her how to use tile spacers,” Cole said to Ben.

  “I’m not touching her.” Ben stood up and glared at Cole. “You’ve been a dick all night, what’s your problem?”

  Cole’s eyes widened and he stepped closer to Ben. “Did you just call me a dick?”

  “I believe I did.”

  “You guys, stop,” Emma said firmly, approaching Cole. “It’s late and we’re all really tired. Let’s just call it a night.”

  “Yeah, good idea,” Layla said, gathering dirty dishes. Ben and Cole were still having a staring contest. She tugged on Ben’s hand after stacking dishes in the sink.

  “What’s your fucking problem, man?” Ben asked Cole, his tone laced with anger. Cole’s eyes widened as if it was obvious.

  “Emma’s my girlfriend. I’m not standing by while some playboy tries to impress her with his blue collar skills and touches her so he can ‘show her’ how to do things.”

  “Cole!” Emma cried.

  Layla joined in immediately. “He’s helping you guys out, asshole!”

  “I’m a playboy because I know how to hang fucking drywall and wire outlets?” Ben gaped at Cole.

  “No—” Cole stopped himself, running a hand through his hair.

  “What, then?” Ben demanded.

  “Layla doesn’t exactly attract the good guys. If you’re with her, I know why, and I don’t want your type getting cozy with my girlfriend.”

  For a second, no one said anything, and then everyone was moving and yelling so quickly Layla was dazed. Ben was on Cole, wrestling him to the ground. Cole got out from under him and sprang back up and they came at each other at the same time. Their arms flew and Layla stood back, her mouth falling open with shock. Her eyes met Emma’s for an instant before they both jumped in.

  “Ben!” Layla touched his shoulders from behind, and he growled at her over his shoulder.

 
“Get back!”

  “No! Don’t do this!” She shoved herself in front of him and his fists stilled. “Ow! Stop it, Cole!”

  Ben’s eyes widened and his face darkened a shade. “Did you just hit her?”

  “I’m fine,” Layla pushed him back, her hands against his chest.

  Emma was yelling at Cole beside them. “What the hell was that? What is your problem?”

  “You know I don’t like other guys touching you. And I’m sick of his cocky attitude.” Cole glowered and Layla rolled her eyes.

  “You’re sick of looking dickless in front of your girlfriend cause you don’t know how to swing a fucking hammer!” Ben yelled. “If you say anything else about Layla, she won’t be able to stop me from kicking your ass next time!”

  “Stop!” Emma yelled. “You’re both such babies.” She rounded on Cole, her face just inches from his. “Don’t ever talk about my sister like that again. Ever.”

  Cole sighed and dropped his head. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Whatever,” Layla said. “We all know I’m on the edge of whore-ey.”

  “Not anymore!” Emma locked eyes with her. “Cole’s just in a mood. He’s frustrated because I’ve been too tired for sex every night for more than a week.”

  “Jesus, why would you tell them that?” Cole threw a hand in the air and glared at Emma.

  “We’re leaving.” Layla took Ben’s hand and led him toward the door. “Everything’s fine, no one’s mad, we’re just all gonna cool down now.”

  She found her bag and Ben picked up his tool belt from the floor.

  “Still want me to come over?” she asked as they neared the front door.

  “Of course.”

  Layla smiled as she looked at his tousled hair and saw a little boy who was still brooding over a scrape with another boy. “You don’t have to stand up for me, you know.”

  Ben furrowed his brows and looked at her. “I’m not letting anyone talk about you that way.”

  “Well, seeing you defend the shred of honor I have left was kinda hot.”

  He smiled and grabbed her around the waist. “What am I gonna do with you?” His voice was low and sensual.

  “What would you like to do with me?”