by C. C. Dado
Say It With Ink
By C.C. Dado
The Seattle Chronicles
Levi can remember the exact moment the projection of his life changed entirely, from homeless dropout to college graduate. It was the day he found Jamie Donovan standing on his front porch—the boy Levi had secretly drooled over from afar would become the best friend he secretly drooled over up close.
When Levi gets a full ride scholarship but Jamie doesn’t, Jamie becomes an exotic dancer to help pay his tuition. Watching Jamie perform is pure torture for Levi, and hiding how he really feels starts to take its toll. And when the hot new guy from his Econ class hits on him, Levi has to decide just how long he’s going to stay devoted to his straight best friend.
To Zach, for saving Sy.
Chapter 1: We made it (Levi)
“I CAN’T believe this is it.” Jamie looked over at their friends stumbling drunkenly around the bonfire. “Our last high school party. We’re college freshman now. Cheers, man.” Jamie bumped his shoulder into Levi’s on the grassy knoll and tapped their beers in celebration.
“Cheers.” Levi shook his head, grinning at Jamie as he set the beer he’d been nursing all night in the grass next to him. “We’ve only been graduates for a few hours—we have a full summer of this shit left.” Levi gestured to the group of girls dancing together near the fire, not so casually staring at him and Jamie.
“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.” Jamie winked at one of the girls, making her blush and turn back to the group. There was something about him and Jamie that drew girls in like old people to a Country Buffet.
No one knew how wasted that attention was on Levi—his heart was gone the minute he laid eyes on Jamie in the ninth grade. He played it off for years, pretending he dated girls from other schools.
Him and Jamie were so different, people didn’t expect them to even be friends. Heck, Levi never thought they would be friends: Jamie the clean-cut, soccer-playing golden boy, and Levi, the dark-haired boy covered in tattoos with an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, from the poor side of town. It was an odd pairing, for sure, but they had been inseparable for years.
Levi sighed, reaching for his beer. “You know we won’t be living on campus for a while.”
“Not the point. We will be in college, Western Washington University, dude, which means college girls and unlimited keggers. Pretty soon we are going to be living every college party movie we’ve ever seen.”
“I don’t watch college party movies,” Levi said, peeling the label off his beer bottle.
“You know, you don’t have to wait for me. I can figure out a way to get to school and back,” Jamie said, suddenly deep in thought, resting his arms on his bent knees and staring into the fire. Jamie had been planning for college life since they met. Levi wouldn’t even be going to college if it wasn’t for Jamie. The fact that Levi was the one who got the free-ride scholarship—based off the grades Jamie pushed him to get and the amount of money his mom didn’t make—made him feel like shit. Who would have thought being broke as fuck in a trailer park would be a benefit? Jamie’s parents had always planned to retire to Arizona once Jamie graduated. When Jamie wasn’t able to get the scholarships he had hoped for, his parents had instantly offered to stay in Seattle and pick up the tab for his schooling, but he refused to take their money, or hold them back from living their dream of retirement, and moved into his older brother David’s apartment, saying he would commute until he could afford to pay for a place closer to school. So Levi decided to not use his housing money for first semester and commute in with Jamie, because that’s the shit you do when you’re secretly in love with your best friend.
“I already told you, I got shit I need to finish up around here anyways.” They both knew that was a lie, but Levi said it regardless. “Besides, what would I do up there by myself? You’re the college boy. I’m just coming along because I got nothing better to do.”
“Whatever,” Jamie said, reaching over to wrap his hand around the back of Levi’s neck. “Thanks, man.”
Levi had always struggled with the fact that Jamie was such a naturally touchy person. He hated it and loved it at the same time. Jamie reminded Levi of one of those circus monkeys because he was always happy and always up in your personal space.
“And by the way,” Jamie continued, “you loved Animal House.” Jamie took his hand off Levi’s neck and shoved him over onto the grass.
“Hey, not so hard,” Levi said, rubbing his arm where he had recently gotten a new tat.
“Seriously, dude, another tattoo? If you start getting face tattoos and wearing dirty wifebeaters, I’m finding better friends.”
Levi was kind of surprised that was all Jamie had to say after the reaction he’d had when Levi had gotten his neck tattooed. “Nothing wrong with tattoos, dude. Harley’s tats are spot-on, and you know it,” Levi reminded him. Levi’s neighbor Harley was the best tattoo artist in town. He had been trading Levi tattoo work for fixing up his truck since Levi was sixteen.
“So what’s this one?” Jamie asked.
Levi pulled up his sleeve, revealing his bicep wrapped in clear cellophane, showing a black-inked waterfall with the subtlest of blue and white highlights mixed in. On the edges of the fall was a poem in an ornate script-looking font. The new tattoo blended in with Levi’s existing work and completed his sleeve from shoulder to wrist.
“Jesus. It’s awesome. It reminds me of the falls my parents took us to see up at Mount Baker. Is that Poe?” Jamie thought Levi’s taste in literature was a bit twisted, but they’d both liked Edgar Allen Poe ever since their history teacher had made them write a joint report on him.
“Yeah, it’s Poe.” Levi didn’t comment on it being the exact waterfall Jamie’s parents had taken them to see.
“Hey, Jamie,” hollered Scott, a guy from Jamie’s soccer team. He wove through people around the bonfire, holding his beer in the air, trying not to spill it, and made his way up onto the grass hill, then fell down next to Jamie, trying to catch his breath.
So much for sports keeping you in shape.
“Watch out, buddy, here comes Will, and he’s pissed. Said you fucked his ex-girlfriend. Apparently he wasn’t over her.”
No sooner had he got the words out than Will O’Neal, the star running back on the varsity football team, came straight through the crowd of people dancing around the fire, pushing them out of his way like a bulldozer.
“You’re fucking dead,” he roared, pointing at Jamie.
Levi stood up and moved himself in the direct path to stop Will before he got to Jamie. Not that Jamie couldn’t protect himself—he was in better shape than Levi—but his naturally friendly nature did not invoke fear in people. Levi’s personality, on the other hand, did it in spades.
“I’m gonna fucking crush you,” Will growled over Levi’s shoulder at Jamie, attempting to push past him.
“I don’t think so, ’roid boy.” Levi shoved Will back.
“Dude,” Jamie said, coming up behind Levi. Even though Jamie was more muscular than Levi, he seemed comfortable with the fact that Levi would not let Will get to him and proceeded to taunt him. “Calm down, Will. I didn’t fuck your girl,” Jamie said over Levi’s shoulder. Levi could see Will relax at Jamie’s words, until Jamie ruined it by opening his mouth. “She just gave my penis a hug with her mouth.”
Will growled, shoving even harder to get past Levi.
“Jesus, Jamie,” Levi swore, shaking his head at his friend’s audacity, as he leaned all his weight back on Will’s shoulder to keep him from murdering Jamie.
They were saved by Will’s ex-girlfriend angrily making her way through the pack.
“Who in the hell do you think you are, my keeper?” she said, pushing Will from behind, m
aking them all struggle to stay up. For a small girl, she had one hell of a shove.
Will forgot about Jamie and turned around, going from murderous rampage to whipped puppy in two seconds flat. “Ally, baby, I can’t believe you would do this to me.”
“Do what?” she said, staring at him like she smelled something bad. “You have been screwing half the cheer squad since we broke up.”
They had everyone’s attention at this point. People had even started to filter out from inside the house to see what was going on.
Will’s face flushed with guilt. “Baby, you are the only girl I want to be with.”
She stood there eyeing him with disgust, her arms crossed in front of her. “Well, you better start proving it,” she said, and then she turned and headed back toward the house.
“I will, baby. I’ll do anything.” He followed her back into the house, causing everyone to return to their partying, the scene forgotten.
Levi slowly turned around and looked at a grinning Jamie. “You are the luckiest son of a bitch I have ever met.”
“Yep,” Jamie agreed with a wink and a pat on Levi’s shoulder.
“Maybe you should be a bit more selective before your dick gets us both killed.”
“What can I say? She gives great mouth hugs,” he said, grabbing Levi by the scruff of the neck again and dragging him forward, leaning in with a smile and resting his forehead on Levi’s, a habit he’d picked up from his mom, but he only did it when he was drunk or about to say something real important. “Thanks for having my back.”
“Always,” Levi responded, trying not to show how affected he was by Jamie’s closeness. “Now let’s get out of here before your luck runs out,” he said, laughing.
“Good plan,” Jamie agreed, throwing his arm around Levi’s neck in a half wrestling move and pulling him toward the driveway.
Jamie was passed out by the time Levi pulled into his parents’ driveway. Levi sat there for a second, looking at Jamie’s head lolled to the side in sleep. Levi barely resisted the urge to caress Jamie’s softened features.
If it wasn’t for Jamie, Levi would be a dropout living on the streets by now; he was sure of it.
Levi could remember the exact moment the projection of his life changed entirely. It happened four years ago. He was standing in the kitchen of his family’s run-down single-wide trailer, trying to decide between raviolis and easy cheesy mac, when someone knocked on the door. Levi had been a latchkey kid since he was ten, when his mom took a night job at a local bar. The knock came again. Levi looked through the side window out of habit to see who it was. His steps faltered when he saw Jamie Donovan standing on his porch, his bike resting up against the railing.
There it was right there: his catalyst.
Have you ever wanted something so bad that the very thought of it scared the crap out of you? That’s what Jamie Donovan was to Levi. The first time Levi had laid eyes on him, when Jamie walked into Levi’s freshmen history class, every single prepubescent nerve he had stood at attention at Jamie’s sandy blond hair, soft blue eyes, and a smile that took his breath away. Levi had never had that strong a reaction to another person before, so he did what any closeted fifteen-year-old who lived in a trailer park would do: he acted like he hated him, which worked out fine until their history teacher paired them up on a project on great writers throughout history.
Levi knew there was no getting out of it once Jamie had somehow figured out where he lived.
“What are you doing here?” Levi asked when he opened the door, conscious of the fact that their trailer looked like an abandoned motel room and smelled like an old lady’s closet. He blocked the entrance, leaving no doubt that Jamie was not welcome.
Jamie didn’t take the hint. He was strong-willed even back then. “Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m not failing history and getting kicked off the soccer team because of you.”
“Not my problem, dude.” Levi attempted to sound indifferent and started to close the door.
“Come on.” Jamie had put his hand out to stop the door. “I can be really annoying when I want something. It’s easier for you in the long run if you just work with me on this project. I’ll be here every day either way.”
Truer words had never been spoken, and at the time the thought of Jamie showing up at his trailer every day made Levi feel sick. “Fine, but we’re not doing it here.”
“That’s fine. Come over to my house. You got a bike?”
“Yeah, I got a bike,” Levi replied, not even attempting to hide the chip on his shoulder. “I’ll be out in a minute.” Levi grabbed the old bike he kept padlocked to the back of the trailer and followed Jamie through town to the housing development Jamie’s family lived in.
Jamie’s home life was exactly like television told you it was supposed to be. His mom even wore an apron when she was cooking. His dad would come in a little later in the evening in his glasses and cardigan asking her what was for dinner. They weren’t totally Leave It To Beaver, though. When food was ready, it was kind of a free-for-all. Jamie’s older brother, David, would grab food and disappear into his room or in front of the TV. Jamie’s mother was a stay-at-home mom slash artist. She was like a humorous tornado. Levi figured that was the artist in her. He started getting used to spending time around them.
They spent the next two weeks working every day after school at Jamie’s house. After the first couple days, the two of them fell into a pseudo friendship. There was something about Jamie’s personality that made everything lighter. He made Levi laugh. Once Jamie found out Levi’s mom worked nights, he practically forced Levi to stay for dinner after they were done working.
Levi was surprised to see Jamie show up at his door again the day they turned in their project.
“What are you doing here?” Levi asked, automatically reverting back to pre-study-buddy hatred.
“Don’t even try that with me, dude. We’re celebrating. Come on. My parents are taking us out for dinner.” Jamie turned and headed toward the blue Volvo in the driveway, not even giving Levi a chance to say no.
“Come on, Levi,” Jamie’s mom hollered out the car window. “You know he’s not going to let us leave until you get in the car.”
And that’s how it went for the next four years. Jamie somehow went from the boy Levi secretly drooled over from afar to the best friend he secretly drooled over up close.
Levi took one more look at Jamie in his gray soccer sweatshirt, curled into the passenger seat, then shook his shoulder. “Hey, wake up. You’re home.”
Jamie scrubbed his hand over his face in an attempt to wake himself enough to walk into his parent’s house. “You want to crash here?” he asked, looking over at Levi.
Levi had slept over at Jamie’s many times since they were fifteen. Jamie’s mom didn’t like the thought of him alone in the trailer at night, but about six months ago they had gone to a party and gotten wasted, then stumbled back to Jamie’s parents, snuck in, and both fell asleep in Jamie’s bed. Levi woke up with his head pounding, a nauseous stomach, and his body completely wrapped around Jamie’s back like a second skin, his face buried in his neck. For that one second, all his pain went away, and he breathed him in, fighting his instinct to squeeze Jamie and hold him tighter. That is, until the fear of Jamie waking up washed over him. Levi got up and snuck out without waking Jamie, and he hadn’t slept over since.
“SO, YOU coming in?” Jamie gave him a half smile as he got out of the car. Levi was positive he had never seen a more beautiful man in his life. Even David, who was an older version of Jamie, couldn’t hold a candle to him when he smiled.
“Nah, man, I have to work at the garage tomorrow, and Mom’s planning a special breakfast since she couldn’t get off work to go to graduation, so I’d better be there.”
“All right, man,” Jamie said, tapping the roof of the car. “But hey, we won’t be stuck here long. I’m going to get a summer job and save up enough to pay for second semester’s room and board. I prom
ise.”
“I know you will,” Levi assured him before pulling away and heading home.
Chapter 2: Kind of like flower delivery (Levi)
Two months later….
“I FINALLY got a job,” Jamie hollered, not even bothering to knock on the trailer door. He walked straight into Levi’s bedroom and threw himself on the bed. He had been on the job-hunt warpath all summer, but there weren’t a lot of high school grad jobs out there that paid the kind of money Jamie needed to earn.
Life had always been pretty gravy for Jamie: his family was sitcom perfect, he was naturally gifted at sports, and people were drawn to him. He’d never had time or a need for an after-school job with all his sports and his parents’ support. It had been hard for Levi to watch him struggle. It sucked seeing him work so hard these last few months and get nowhere. Levi knew the pressure Jamie was putting on himself, feeling like he was holding them both back. Hard work was nothing new to Levi. He had worked at the auto-body shop since before it was legal for a kid his age to be working. It was great to hear the excitement in Jamie’s voice after seeing his positive, fun-loving attitude deflate over the last two months.
“Awesome. What did you get?” Levi asked, still putting his clothes into his dresser from the trip to the Laundromat. He’d stopped being embarrassed around Jamie about living in a trailer park a long time ago. Jamie acted like there was no difference between his place and Levi’s. Which was ridiculous, but after a while Levi stopped focusing on the differences as well.
“Well, it’s kind of like flower delivery, except I strip and dance for dudes.”
“What the fuck?” Levi felt his entire body tense as he dropped his clothes on the floor and slowly turned around to look at Jamie. “First of all, that’s nothing like flower delivery.”
“Sure it is. I’m delivering myself for their viewing pleasure.” Jamie spread his arms out across Levi’s tattered comforter, as if on display.
