by Dianne Drake
“That’s not why you came to Argentina, to get to know me. And maybe you’re here because of that crossroad you’ve come to. But this is a drastic change from your life, as well as a drastic change from the way you practice medicine. There’s nothing here that’s easy. Not even the village path.”
“Maybe I’m looking for drastic and difficult.”
“I’m not buying it. What you’re telling me may be partial reasons, but in total I’m not buying it.”
“You don’t have to. As long as you let me work here, we’ll both get what we need. Why complicate it with anything else?”
He shrugged. “Guess we don’t have to, do we?” Taking a few steps closer, he bent and picked up her backpack. “Look, it’s getting late. I have a couple of patients I want to check on before I grab a of couple hours’ sleep, so we need to hurry this along.” Then he slid his arm around her waist, clearly for support rather than anything else. “Lean on me and we’ll be back at the hospital in a few minutes.”
“I’m sorry, Ben. Normally, I have more stamina than this. I really didn’t expect to get this tired as I haven’t done much of anything for a while now.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.”
That was all he said. For the rest of the way back they walked in silence. She was glad for the assistance. Snuggling into his side maybe a bit more than she needed to as they walked, she was glad the assistance was coming from Ben.
CHAPTER FOUR
“MY BROTHER thought I should look in on you, and I wanted to meet you...considering what I’ve heard.” Amanda sat a tray of coffee and pastries on the nightstand next to Shanna’s bed. “I’m Amanda Kenner, by the way. Part-owner of the hospital and resident pediatrician. And impressed as all get-out that you followed Ben from Italy to Argentina.”
“What time is it?” Shanna responded groggily, pushing herself part way to a sitting position. Last night was a blur. Ben had helped her back to the hospital, then she’d practically fallen through the door to her room, and right this moment she didn’t have any recollection of tumbling into bed or anything else past the door. Yet here she was, dressed in yesterday’s clothes, stretched out in bed and feeling rested. And her only concession to undressing was that her boots and socks were off. Had Ben done that? Had he actually removed them for her?
“It’s a little after noon. I’d thought about waking you for breakfast earlier because you missed supper last night, but Ben said you needed sleep more than you needed food, so I waited as long as I could. The thing is, if you’re going to volunteer here, I really need you on the work schedule for this afternoon. Normally, we like to give our volunteers a couple of days to acclimatize, but we’re in a pinch.”
“Sure, I can work.” Shanna struggled to a fully upright sitting position, brushed back her hair with her fingers and tried to stifle a yawn. “And about me following Ben here, yes, I did. But it’s not what it looks like. I’m not really stalking him.”
Grinning, Amanda said, “Well, whatever your reason, we’re glad to have you. Caridad is always in need of good volunteers and from what Ben described about your grand entrance, you’re good. So, about going on duty later...”
She liked Ben’s sister. She was as outgoing as Ben was closed in. And Amanda clearly loved her brother. Had some hopeful expectations for him in the relationship department, too, Shanna guessed. “Not a problem. But would you mind if I took half an hour to eat, then grab a shower before I start work? I’m used to putting in the hard hours, but what I’ve done here so far has been a different kind of hard and I’m a little slow readjusting.”
“I’ll bet working at your family’s medical center was very hard. From my own limited experience of owning Caridad, I know I work longer and harder than I ever did when I was on staff in a hospital back in Texas. Something about the responsibility of ownership that drives us to do more, I think.”
“Does Ben know who I am?” she asked, quite alarmed. Leading off with her family and their medical empire wasn’t something she was comfortable with, so she didn’t. In fact, it never came up in conversation unless the other person asked, because she’d learned, early on, that being the youngest child of a medical dynasty carried a stigma of sorts. Or unrealistic expectations. Sometimes it simply put a target with a bull’s eye on her forehead. Look at me. She hated that notoriety. Hated the attention because for her, her motivations weren’t about being part of the illustrious Brooks family. They were about being a doctor. And while the two should have been one and the same, so often, it seemed, they weren’t. Not to her, anyway. Although the rest of the family would dispute that.
“Yep, he knows who you are. Told me where to look you up, actually. But as you didn’t know he knows, I’d better warn you, in case it comes up, that my brother applied for a residency at your hospital.”
That surprised her. “He was a resident there?” She didn’t recall him, didn’t recall seeing anything in his brief online bio about him working there, didn’t even recall his name from back in the day, and she and Ben should have, at the very least, crossed paths for a year or two in one hospital hall or another as she was thirty-four and he was only a couple of years older.
“No, he wasn’t. He just applied for the position. And was rejected.”
Shanna opened her mouth to speak but didn’t know what to say. “How?” she finally managed.
A passing sadness crossed Amanda’s face, followed by a smile. But not the cheery smile that had been there. “Bad attitude. Impeccable academic credits, medical aptitude that couldn’t be touched by anyone else. But a pretty big chip on his shoulder. Don’t worry about it, though. He eventually landed at a hospital in New York City that was a much better fit for him.”
Odd revelation. She didn’t know what to make of it. “So, how do I react to that?”
“You don’t. Ben doesn’t carry grudges.”
“Then I guess I should say that’s a relief because I want to stay here for a while.”
“It’s a relief only if you want long, hard hours, no pay and lots of bugs,” said Amanda as she swatted a mosquito on her arm. “Which is probably what you’d get at Brooks Medical Center, minus the no pay and bugs. Especially the bugs.”
“Money’s not a problem, and bugs I can deal with. I liked entomology when I was in college. Used to torment my brothers with bugs instead of the other way around. Always found it was a good way to get even with them...drop some kind of bug in one of their shoes, put something crawly in a school backpack.” Smiling at the memory, she scooted to the edge of the bed, picked up the cup of coffee and took a sip.
“Now I feel human again,” she said on a sigh.
“Ben and I didn’t torment each other so much as conspire together. We were always out to conquer something...mostly the kids who lived down the street. They were bullies. Maybe not in the literal definition of how we see bullies today, but they called us names, threw things at us, ganged up to keep us from walking by their house. So Ben and I were allies early on.”
“That’s nice,” Shanna said wistfully. “My family was never close. Everybody was...busy. Stodgy. They worked, didn’t have much time to stay home. Consequently, John, Adam and I were raised by a very caring nanny who tried hard but who couldn’t quite instill in us that sense of family. So we weren’t close the way you and Ben were, and I think because I was the youngest I was the one who was always trying to get noticed the most. Hence the bugs.”
“Family dynamics,” Amanda said, patting her tummy. “I’m beginning to see them from the other point of view.”
“And it’s good?” Shanna already knew the answer. Amanda had the contented look of a woman who had it all. A look to envy.
“Like nothing I would have ever imagined. Anyway, take an hour. Get yourself up and ready for work, then have a look around the hospital. I’ve got you scheduled for our Emergency, which isn’t really much of an Emergency. But it gets busy, and we’re down one doctor until my husband gets back...”
“Jack Kenner,
right?”
At the mention of his name Amanda smiled from ear to ear. “You know who he is?”
Shanna nodded as she took her next sip of coffee. “He’s a big deal in epidemics. We had a situation once at Brooks Medical Center, tried to get him to come and figure it out. He was tied up in Africa somewhere, dealing with malaria. My grandfather offered him an insane amount of money to drop what he was doing and come and help us. Wanted to send the family jet to get him. But your husband had integrity. Stayed where he was.” One more sip. “Can’t wait to meet him, and it’ll be an honor to step in for him.”
“I expect Ben will step into Emergency to check on you. But if he doesn’t, I’ll have one of the nurses help get you situated.”
As it turned out, getting situated was an understatement. An hour later, when Shanna entered the room designated as Emergency, she was besieged by patients, dozens of them surrounding her immediately, wanting to see her, trying to tell her what was wrong, trying to grab her attention first. The doctor on duty, a small, thin, older man by the name of Vance Hastings, looked like he was about to become one of the patients himself.
“Getting too old for this,” he wheezed as he dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief. “Ten-hour shifts at this pace are for the young.” He finally managed a smile at Shanna. “But if you need help, I might have another hour or two left in me.”
Shanna chuckled. “How about I prescribe bed rest for now, and if I need you later on, I’ll come and get you?”
“Bless you, my child. You’ve just saved an old man’s life.”
His friendly smile was nice, very soothing. Yet she wondered why he pushed himself so hard when it was so clearly difficult on him. How difficult, she couldn’t have even begun to guess until the end of her first hour on shift, when she’d already seen ten patients and was beginning to question if she’d be able to hold out for another nine hours.
“It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?” Ben said, stepping into the cubicle where she’d just dressed and bandaged a little girl’s foot and sent her back to her mother’s arms.
“Is it like this every day?” she asked, leaning against the wall, trying to take a two-minute break.
“Some days it’s worse.”
“So, conversely, some days it’s better?” she asked.
“No, not usually. At least, not during summer. People are active, they get hurt more, other weather-related things pop up. It’ll slow down when the weather cools, though. Not that you’ll be around long enough to see that.”
“Big assumption to make, isn’t it? Especially when I stalked you halfway around the world just so I could do what I’m doing.”
To help her, he pulled the paper cover off the exam table and replaced it with a fresh one, then set about the task of restocking the table-side tools. “It’s also a big assumption to make, thinking you’ll want to stay that long. I’m a boring man, Shanna. I work and that’s it. So once you’ve started to observe what you think you want to observe in me, what you’re going to find is...nothing. And if this fascination with me is the only reason you’re here, you’ll be long gone before the cool weather hits.”
“But what if I’m not, Ben?”
“Are you challenging me to another wager? Because this is the one you’ll lose.”
“If I lose, I’m your yerba maté tea slave for the duration of my stay, whatever that turns out to be—I’ll give you adequate notice if I leave, by the way. And if I win, the first thing I want is a humble apology. Next thing is my morning coffee served to me in bed. Amanda did that for me this morning and it was nice, so I want a morning coffee slave for the duration of my stay.”
“Which is going to be over long before cold weather strikes.” He smiled. “No matter how adequate your notice is.”
“Do you want me to leave?” It seemed like he might, but she wasn’t sure. Then she saw it, the distance in his eyes replaced by that glint. It was his giveaway, she realized. A little tease, an invitation to advance, but only a little.
“I never like to lose a good doctor. But I have an idea Brooks Medical Center never likes to lose a good doctor, either. Especially one who comes with the Brooks name.”
“How long have you known?”
“I did an internet search before I took you out on house calls. Back in Italy, unraveling your curious background didn’t seem necessary because it had nothing to do with my hospital. And going for six days without telling me you’re a doctor is curious, Shanna. But the moment you invaded my Emergency it not only became necessary to find out about you, but urgent, given your intention to volunteer.
“Yet you didn’t say anything to me?”
“And yet I didn’t say anything. People are entitled to their privacy, Shanna. Everybody, including Shanna Brooks, who was made assistant head of family practice only days before she left. Or, as the hospital’s public statement put it, went on an extended personal leave for rest and relaxation before assuming her next level of duties. The thing is, I figured if you wanted me to know who you were, you’d tell me. You didn’t, so I didn’t see any point in worrying about it.”
“We had a difference of opinion—my grandfather and I. Over a patient’s treatment. As a result, I realized I had some thinking to do, and I couldn’t do it and still continue to work.”
“Did you go against the status quo?”
“Tried to. At the time I didn’t even realize that’s what I was doing. My patient was in end-stage renal disease, I put her on the transplant list. My grandfather took her off because she was older than the hospital protocol called for. I argued, he won, she died.”
Ben whistled softly. “I’m sorry. It’s always tough when you can’t do anything.”
“It’s even tougher, Ben, when you’re part-owner of a family business and the family turns against you.”
“You took it personally?”
“Yes, I did. Very personally. I should have been able to save my patient. Her family expected that of me, I expected that of me.” She shut her eyes, trying to blot that day from her memory—the day she’d told Elsa the bad news. Heart on her sleeve all the way, and she didn’t care. Alone in her office afterward, she’d cried, kicked the trash can. Been called weak by her grandfather. Do you think you’re going to survive in this profession, Shanna, if you’re weak?
Weak. That one, single word had forced her decision. “It’s like there’s always been this undertow, something churning underneath the surface waiting to pull me under. I always fight hard against it. I was fighting hard against it for my patient, but...” She shrugged.
“I wasn’t strong enough when I should have been. So it took me a few weeks to tie up all my medical loose ends, then I went to Tuscany for a holiday, to think... My family has a home there and it seemed like a safe place to be. And the rest, as they say, is history. Here I am.” Yes, here she was, wondering if she ever could be strong enough to survive as a doctor or if her emotions would always get in the way.
“Here you are, and Caridad is glad to have you. But I’m wondering if you should have stayed at Brooks Medical and worked it out, rather than coming here.”
“The problem is me, Ben. Not Brooks Medical Center. And, no, I couldn’t have worked it out there, couldn’t have worked me out there. But don’t worry. I’m not going to jeopardize anything at Caridad. Not going to let my problems overshadow my work. Not going to suddenly figure out which path to take and leave you in a lurch. If that’s what you’re thinking.” If he wasn’t, he should be. But she hoped he wasn’t, because what Ben thought about her mattered. She wasn’t sure why, exactly. She only knew that it did.
“I didn’t think you would.”
“What makes you so...trusting? If a doctor came to me the way I came to you, I wouldn’t do what you’ve done.”
“It’s not that I’m trusting. I just don’t expect anything from anybody. That way, whatever happens happens. And I don’t get disappointed. That’s as far as I let anything go. The way I want to live my life, and I’m hap
py with it.”
That might be the way he lived his life, and maybe he was happy with it, but why did she see a distant sadness in his eyes so much of the time? Could it be this wasn’t the way he wanted to live his life but the way he thought he had to?
“Anyway...” She pointed to the adjacent room, one half the size of the closet-size room in which she was working “I noticed it’s set up for patient care. If you’re not busy right now, would you care to see a few patients in there rather than letting that space go to waste?”
“Spoken like a doctor who’s used to being in charge,” he said, smiling.
“Not as in charge as I used to think I was.” She turned then headed to the door, on her way to the hall to call her next patient. “Tomorrow night good for you?” she tossed over her shoulder on her way out.
“For what?”
“Dinner. You still owe me that night on the town, and I’m ready to collect. I’m scheduled for a back-to-back today and tomorrow, which means by tomorrow evening I’ll be free.” She spun to face him, not expecting him to be so close on her heels—so close they could have kissed. “So, dinner?” It was the first time she’d really noticed the extent and severity of the scars on his neck. Oh, she’d seen them, hadn’t paid too much attention. But this close she knew that what was visible on Ben was only a small part of it. She also knew the suffering that had come with them.
“Barring medical emergencies, mud slides and pestilence, I think I might be able to manage dinner,” he replied, stepping back from her.
She laughed. “I’ve never had pestilence used as an excuse to stand me up.”
“Not stand you up per se. Just warning you that if pestilence happens...” Rather than finishing his sentence, he brushed by her and went to the waiting area and called the next patient, while Shanna stood back and watched. Beautiful man, amazing physique, accentuated by the fact that this was the hospital where they didn’t have to wear scrubs and white jackets if they didn’t want to. Ben was dressed in a casual pair of tan cargo pants, along with a baggy camp shirt, long sleeves rolled up to just below the elbows. He exercised, kept himself in superb shape, which was evidenced in the muscles that rippled underneath all that fabric. Brown eyes, casually shaggy brown hair...the substance of dreamy sighs, she thought.
