by S M Broad
The Path to Finding You
(Finding Series Book 2)
SM Broad
This book is a work of fiction. Any similarities to any person, place, or theory are in no way intended or to be inferred as fact or reference.
work is the sole property of the Author. It may not be reproduced in whole or in part without permission unless as part of a Review, Interview, or Public push of the work and specific other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
It contains adult situations. 17+ only
Cover Design by Emily Wittig of Emily Wittig Design
Interior Formatting by Alexandria Bishop at AB Formatting & Design
Edited By: Author S.I. Hayes
www.haneyhayesbooks.com
©2020 SM Broad
All rights reserved
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
For my Omi.
Thank you for guiding me to the end of this book, I hope I’m making you proud.
I miss you every single day.
Prologue
“You’re nothing to me.” He slurs, swinging around the bottle of vodka, making the clear liquid slosh up the sides of the glass. The words sting, causing me to recoil like I’ve been burned. My entire life has been a string of bad relationships with men, liars, and con artists who only wanted me for what I could buy them.
The biggest disappointment of all being my no good, asshole drunk of a biological father. Kohen’s sentence jolts me back to a time when I was just a twelve-year-old girl, and he said the exact same thing to my mom, brother, and myself before he walked out of our lives forever. I never had an example of how a man should treat a woman, aside from my brother Kai.
Not until I met Kohen.
“How can you say that?” My voice cracks, raw from crying. “After everything that’s happened. Everything we’ve been through?” I sniffle, trying to keep the new tears at bay. He was there for me when tragedy struck my best friend, and she ended up in the hospital. He was my partner to walk down the aisle with when our best friends got married. There when I found out my dad’s alcoholism had won and when my mom moved to Europe with her new husband. He made me fall so hard for him, flipped my whole damn world around, and now he’s done with me?
Hell no.
“You don’t mean that.” I reach out to touch him, but he jerks away from me. I flinch, gaping at his forlorn face.
“I can’t do this anymore, Leila,” Kohen rubs his tired eyes with the back of his hand. He’s been distant, harsh. I’ve tried to help him cope with his brother's death, but he’s just shut down. I open my mouth to speak again when he slams his hand against the wall in anger. I’ve been holding on to our relationship with all my might. At what point do I stop hurting myself?
“Just go!” he screams, throwing the bottle down. I watch as it smashes against the floor, shattering like my heart. “Take your shit and get the hell out of my life.” He spits through gritted teeth, stalking toward me. I know he’d never hit me, but I can’t help but be terrified of him.
“Kohen, please.”
“Get out!” He shouts, the muscles in his jaw working overtime. Covering my mouth, I grip my duffle bag by the strap and run out the door of his apartment, the stagnant May air filling my lungs. I jump in my car, slamming the door so hard it rattles the window. Turning the keys in the ignition, I tear out of the complex parking lot so fast I almost take out a streetlight. He’s the last thing I see in my rearview mirror as I speed away from Grayson for the last time.
Chapter 1
Three months later
An otherworldly scream radiates from my throat as I drop thirty feet to the water below. When I left Georgia the day, he broke my heart, I went back and packed up my mom’s house in Alabama. I picked a destination at the airport and never looked back.
I didn’t think I’d end up in California, that I would stay, or that I'd meet a guy who makes me try to forget all the things I lost. When my boyfriend Zack suggested cliff jumping, I thought he'd lost his fucking mind. Still, I will do literally anything to keep my thoughts from wandering where I don’t want them to.
It’s been three months since I left my past behind, left him. Of course, I think about him every day, miss him even worse, but I need to get past this. No matter how much you love someone, sometimes you have to show them that your life can go on without them.
I miss my best friend Aayla too, but she’s a busy mom and wife, and we don’t get to talk as much as I’d like. My heart aches as I think about her twenty-five hundred miles away. On the other side of the country in Georgia with her husband Latham, their gorgeous daughter Hensley, and their dog Boss. She’s got the all-American white picket fence life now.
Sigh.
I miss my family.
My goddaughter.
Our goddaughter.
I thought I’d always be close to them, but I guess even friendships, like relationships, aren't as strong as you think they'll be. Nothing lasts forever, that much I know is true. Eventually, people always leave.
I break the foamy surface and gasp in a huge breath, adrenaline surging through me as I wade back to the beach. When my feet hit the sand, I shimmy-shake the water off me. I wish I’d brought my camera to snap some pictures as I watch Zack cannonball into the water from a cliff down below. He's a typical Cali guy with shaggy blonde hair, sun-kissed skin, and a ripped body from years of surfing.
He’s exactly what I need right now. I reach down to pick up my beach towel, dry off and slip the sheer white cover up on over my purple Roxy bikini so I can hit up one of the food trucks parked just a short walk away. Who knew cliff jumping made you so hungry?
"How was it, babe?" Zack asks when he gets to where I’m waiting for him.
"So amazing!" I smile big, leaning in to rest my hand on his bicep. "I was gonna grab a bite to eat, you want to come?" I ask, watching him while he takes a long gulp of his bottled water.
"Nah, I'm cool. Gonna meet Jesse and Liam, catch some waves before it gets too choppy. See ya tomorrow." He plants a kiss on my cheek and jogs off. I should feel weirder that we haven’t been very physical in the almost two months since we’ve been together, but it honestly doesn't bother me.
That’s not a good thing.
"Bye..." My voice is low as I feign disappointment. I’ve gotten good at masking my real feelings yet trained myself to show little emotion. I refuse to be hurt again. When my phone starts ringing, I dig around in my too messy bag, an ironic metaphor for my life. When I see who it is, I hit the button and answer.
“Hey, mom.”
“Hi, sweetheart, how are you? How’s Kohen?”
I try to lighten my tone, so she doesn’t suspect something is wrong, “We’re fine. You know, just living life.”
How am I able to avoid her knowin
g that we broke up?
Simple.
She lives on the other side of the continent with my stepdad, and we only talk once a week because of the long distance. It hurts that I can’t tell her that Kohen and I haven’t been together for several months, but I know she’ll only badger me about it, so I just keep it to myself. She prattles on and on about Paris and Italy. I tune her out, unsure of how our relationship has become so distant.
I feel like she just forgot about me when she met her husband, Vic. After they eloped, he whisked her away to live in Europe. I listen for a few more minutes before my phone beeps with a text. I pull away to look, hoping it’s Aayla but grimace when I see the screen.
3 new messages from Kohen.
I hadn’t heard from him in almost two months, nothing but radio silence until last week when out of nowhere he texted me. The messages are always the same.
Kohen: I’m so fucking sorry.
Kohen: Will you talk to me? Call me.
Kohen: Please, Lei. Just let me know you’re okay.
I can't see his name without dying on the inside.
Damn it!
“Hey, mom, I gotta go. I’ll call you soon.”
“Alright, honey. Don’t forget to call your brother, I love you.”
“I will. Love you too.” I hang up and take a minute to breathe. My chest burns with heartache, but I force myself to act like nothing's wrong, gathering my guts to reply for the first time in months. I hover over his text folder with my thumb for several seconds and then bite the bullet. I type out and delete a response four different times before I settle on two short words.
Me: I’m fine.
I don’t know why I even answer.
It’s not like it will change anything. I stuff my phone back into my bag, skipping the food trucks because my appetite is suddenly gone. I trudge along the yellow car bumpers in the parking lot, deciding it's a good night to go out.
“I really wish I hadn’t sold my car,” I grumble to myself as I hail a cab.
A few hours later, I'm all dolled up in a black romper with a cross-fit crop top waist, smokey makeup, and my hair is blown out in fiery red waves like a lion's mane. I’m beyond ready to hit up my favorite spot, Vive. I'm just about to head out the door when my phone starts ringing, lighting up with a picture of Kohen and me at Latham and Aayla’s wedding. His arms are wrapped tightly around my waist, while I smile the biggest, I think I have in my entire life.
Why do I torture myself with keeping that picture?
I should delete it, but I can’t find the strength. It means too much to me. I roll my eyes, stuffing the offending device into my purse, tossing it around my shoulder. I click the lock on my apartment door as my phone starts up again.
When will he quit?
Why doesn't he understand that I don't want to talk to him?
Leave me the hell alone.
I pull my door shut and make it out to the sidewalk just in time for my cab to pull up. I jump in the back and yank the door shut, nodding in greeting to the cabbie.
"Take me to Vive, please." I rattle off just as my text alert pings. I pull my phone out to see who it’s from, but when I see Kohen's name, I sigh with annoyance. I should just delete the whole thread, but like a true masochist, I open the message and read it.
Kohen: Leila, please talk to me.
Deciding to ignore anyone who tries to text or call me, I silence my ringer and shove the annoying thing back into my purse. I need to blow off some steam tonight, I just wish I didn't have to do it alone. It’s times like these I wish I had friends out here in California.
I wish Aayla was here.
I shove away the sadness and look out the window of the cab. The ride is only about fifteen minutes, so I spend my time looking at the street art, and graffiti splashed across all of the different buildings. The car pulls up to the club, and I pay the fare, thanking my driver before shutting the door. He pulls away as I hop up onto the sidewalk and go straight to the front of the line.
A chorus of hey! And get in line rumbles from the line of club-goers, and I roll my eyes, looking at all the groaning and grumbling people standing behind me.
"Hi, Marcus!" I hug the big, burly bouncer who could pass as a slightly heavier version of Shemar Moore. He’s important because he controls the velvet ropes of Vive.
"What’s up, girl?" He returns my hug with one arm and moves the rope to the side, letting me in as I pass him the entrance fee.
"You're the best!" I blow him an air kiss and head inside. Perks of dressing for the club scene, I guess. I have no shame, I know my body is on point, and I use it to my advantage.
I'm not a hoe bag, and I don’t sleep around. If Big and Rich, the names I've so lovingly given my shoulder boulders, can help me skip the god awful long line and get into my favorite spot for drinks and dancing, you bet your ass I’m gonna use them.
Chapter 2
Vive is loud and alive with energy as I enter. The DJ blasts “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars, bragging that he's smooth like peanut butter out of the speakers, getting me hyped for the night. The lights flash in all directions, and I strut my way to the bar for a drink. Eventually, the bartender points at me to take my order. I have to yell over the crowd and music for an Amaretto Sour.
He gives me thumbs up and four fingers, so I know that's how much to pay. I slide five and two ones across the bar as he returns with my drink. He gives me a nod, smiling at his three-dollar tip. I wave and take my drink to the dance floor with me, feeling the crazy vibe. I dance for three or four songs before I realize I’m out of alcohol, and I've got sweat running down all my cracks.
Gross.
I drop my glass back at the bar before hitting the bathroom to freshen up. After I wipe the sweat off my neck and fix my makeup, I chance a peek at my phone and see that I have a missed call and a text from Aayla dated about an hour ago.
Aayla: Hey Lei. I hope you're good. I’m just sitting here with Hensley thinking about you. I love and miss you, call me when you get a chance. <3
I miss her so much.
The bathroom door swings open, and a group of drunkenly giggling girls shakes me from my funk. I swipe the tear that managed to escape from my eye, suddenly ready to go home, get in my pj's with a hot cup of cider, and call her.
Too bad, it’s the ass crack of dawn in Georgia.
Sighing, I head out of the bathroom and push through the crowded club to the front door. Something catches my sight out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head to see Zack chewing some blonde chick’s neck to hell.
What the fuck?
I stroll over casually and sit down on a sofa across from them, watching and waiting for him to come up for air. Approximately ten minutes later, I count; he unlatches from her neck and dives for her lips. No wonder he never cared about having sex with me, he was too busy getting it from someone else. I should care, cry, scream, something, but I can’t.
I don't give a shit because I already gave my heart away. I flinch at the memory of the blue-eyed man who screamed at me angrily all those months ago. I gotta say, it sucks a giant bag of dicks to feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I clear my throat so loud that Zack looks right at me, his face going from ruddy and aroused to ghostly white.
“Leila b-babe, I-I can explain.” He stutters and stammers as he tries to find an excuse. Blondie just sneers at me, red lipstick smudged all around her mouth.
Classy.
“Bet you can.” I stand and pick up a stray drink from on the table in front of me, tossing it in his face. He coughs and sputters, jumping up as it soaks into his red Polo shirt.
“Oh my god, ick. Zacky, let’s go.” Blonde Bimbo Barbie whines to Zack as he looks between the two of us like he’s trying to decide who to pick. Well, I’ll make it easy for him.
“Just go, I don’t want you, and I sure as hell don’t need your pathetic ass.” I turn away from them, stalking all the way to the door. I push outside into the muggy night, hailing myself
a cab to haul my ass home.
I strip my heels off on the fifteen-minute cab ride, carrying them with me up the sidewalk to my apartment. Twisting my keys in the lock, I let myself in, flicking on the hallway light. I throw my purse and keys onto the counter with a thud. Walking to my room, I slide open my closet door and chuck my heels in. I know I should feel like crying, but I don’t, not about Zack, anyway.
I change into my fuzzy pajamas with hedgehogs on them, wipe my face with a makeup removing cloth, and flop down onto my couch, staring at Aayla’s contact. It’s one a.m. here, which means it’s four a.m. in Georgia, and she’s probably not even awake yet.
I decide to text her, so she’ll see it when she gets up in the morning.
Me: I’m alright, I miss you. I’ll figure out a time to call. <3
I set my phone down next to me on the cushion, rubbing my tired eyes before deciding to shoot a quick text to my brother Kai. He’s currently living in a forest in Seattle like some sort of wild mountain man. At the same time, he builds houses at the contracting company he works for.
Me: Hey, Bear, Grylls. Just checking in, hope you haven’t been eaten by wolves. Text me back, love you!
