Although the vet wanted to know more about how Ixxie would attract another woman to this remote location, the goddess didn't seem worried about the issue. So Ixchel decided not to be either.
Instead, she looked down at the trinket that her mother had presented to her only daughter on the last day of the older woman's life. The cat charm—and the career it implied—was the vet's only remaining link to Mamá, especially now that her brothers had been forcibly removed from her life. In some ways, Ixchel would be repudiating her past yet again by giving away her birthday present, and she could barely imagine a life without the cat charm dangling between her breasts.
But it had never been Mamá's way to live in the past. Although her parents had plenty of reasons to speak of their pastoral upbringing in Mexico, they'd barely mentioned the mother country to their children. Instead, Ixchel's parents had chosen to immerse themselves entirely in their current family. They'd worked long hours in a foreign country where the color of their skin separated them from their neighbors and limited them to menial jobs, all for the sake of holding that family together.
And, in the end, despite being underdogs in their new nation, Mamá and Papá had never complained or spoken about returning to Mexico. Instead, they'd figured out what was truly important in their lives, then had moved heaven and earth to achieve those dreams.
That was the advice Mamá and Papá had always given their children as well. "Just follow your heart," Mamá had told her daughter a few years before her death, when Ixchel had asked for advice on which boy's invitation to accept to a dance. The vet had a feeling that if her mother was alive today, her parent would offer the same words to their adult daughter now.
So which option would help Ixchel achieve the goals that she cared about most? Being Ixxie's priestess would be a worthy life, a way to help hundreds or thousands of women. The goddess had also made it clear that she took care of her own and that Ixchel wouldn't have to worry about paying her bills or finding a place to live once she swore to the goddess. So the benefits of being a priestess were personal as well as of worldly importance.
In a way, the life Ixxie was offering would be much like what Ixchel had been looking for when she fled her family home and worked so hard to become a veterinarian nine years before. As a priestess, Ixchel would be able to ease pain and suffering, all while keeping herself insulated from the dangerous outside world. There was no way her brothers could break through a goddess's wards to harm a hair on the priestess's head, so Ixchel could stop looking over her shoulder and could know that she'd finally become entirely safe.
But was safety what the vet was really looking for? A week ago, she would have answered with a resounding affirmative. And yet, now that the possibility of lifelong security was being offered up on a silver platter, Ixchel wasn't so sure that she wished to wrap herself in cotton padding and tuck herself away from the world.
Instead, Finn's visage once again swam in front of her eyes. His human face...and then his jaguar features. Ixchel had never enjoyed the opportunity to truly explore the were-jaguar's shift. She'd never gotten a chance to see where that one explosive kiss on the airplane might lead them.
She'd never allowed herself the chance to fall in love.
So, this time, the vet was the one to pat the older woman's hand. Yes, she'd be losing her last physical link to Mamá by rejecting Ixxie's offer, and she'd be stepping off the easy path in order to walk blindfolded into the future.
But sometimes safety was overrated. Sometimes, you had to take a leap of faith if you wanted to live life to its fullest.
Her decision made, the vet took a deep breath and offered her goddess a tremulous smile. "Okay," she said at last. "Now I'm ready to hear about my other two options."
Chapter 35
Tez had Finn over a barrel and both of them knew it. The shifter only hoped that the troublesome god might not realize how very tremendously huge that barrel was.
Because Finn was pretty sure he'd recognized the female were-jaguar during his one-second glimpse. How could he not when his feelings in the matter ran so strong and deep?
Best not to think about that, not if I don't want to tip Tezzie off to the fact that he can ask the moon of me, Finn warned himself. So, instead of speaking further about the other shifter, he instead donned his best poker face and started prodding at the wind god.
"You want out of the statue, but I put my foot down at stealing Ixxie's freedom," Finn began. "So we're at a bit of an impasse...unless we're each willing to bend a little."
Me? Why should I be the one to bend? Don't you want to protect your sister?
Finn refused to be goaded. "Yes, we both know what you're holding over my head. But I think you need to be a bit clearer on the fact that I enjoy the higher ground at the moment. Your precious statue sat in the earth for two thousand years before Mirabelle dug you up and before I was stupid enough to place my hand on your prison. So if I made a hole right here, in the middle of a forest where people might drop by once or twice a year if you're lucky, then your statue would probably remain hidden for another two thousand years."
Finn was surprised he hadn't been interrupted already, but in the absence of godly chatter, he kept on talking. "And while I'm quite sure that you could make my life annoying for a while even from a distance, I'm equally certain that your powers would eventually fade away again if I blocked you out of my mind. Don't think I haven't noticed how your strength has grown since Ixchel and I stumbled across your statue, and don't think I haven't realized why. Do you really want to become weaker and weaker until you're barely able to touch the mind of a human being who is physically holding onto your prison? "
Yeah, you try not thinking about a white elephant and see how well it works out for you.
But other than his quip, Tezzie continued to wait through his follower's monologue. Which Finn took to mean he was on the right track. Either that, or the god was trying to decide the best way to smite his impudent worshiper. Whatever.
"In other words," the shifter concluded, "You need me. And I'm willing to help you break free if you in turn give me veto power over your schemes." Then, without waiting for the god to either argue or agree, Finn continued: "If we want to function as a team, I need to know a little bit more about how this process works. Other than switching places with Ixxie, how else can you escape from your prison with a little mortal aid?"
I could jump into your body right now, Tez replied, his very voice a pout. Well, I could once you picked up my statue, which I can make you do any time I want....
"So why haven't you made the switch already if it's that easy?" Finn asked, maintaining the same calm tone he'd used before. He didn't entirely believe Tezcatlipoca's assertion, but it did make sense that a god who could affect a were-jaguar's shift could also switch places with said were-jaguar at will.
And yet, Tezzie had clearly decided not to steal Finn's body in the past. So he likely would continue feeling the same way in the future. Or at least the were-jaguar hoped that was the case.
Because I don't want to become a mere mortal! And I don't want to share a body with you! You're too weak to make it into the statue even with a push from me, and mortal souls require a physical body.
The god's tone added a silent "duh!" to the end of his last sentence, and Finn forced down a smile. Of course Tezzie would prefer to remain in prison indefinitely rather than accepting a second-best host, especially if the option would require sharing. Tezcatlipoca didn't seem the type who'd ever learned to divvy up a pie without taking the lion's share.
"So, if you dropped into my body right now, you'd die when I do and then disappear?" the shifter asked, trying to understand the rules that governed his pesky deity.
No, of course not! Now it was Tez's turn to be shocked. Gods don't die, you silly mortal. Well, we do eventually grow weaker and weaker if no one thinks about us for a while. He paused, as if trying to decide if he'd given too much away. But Finn had concluded the exact same thing aloud mere moments
earlier, so Tezcatlipoca clearly felt he hadn't spilled the beans. But I'd be limited to your powers—which, let me tell you, are so puny as to be basically nonexistent—until you perished. And after that, I'd have to hop from host to host until I found someone strong enough to boost me back to godhood. The process could take centuries!
"Okay," Finn said after mulling Tezzie's words over for a moment. "So you'd really prefer to swap places with a deity. But surely there are gods other than Ixxie in the world. What about Quetzalcoatl? You said he was your foe." And I wouldn't be burning bridges with the woman I love by entrapping him. Not that Finn wanted to shut anyone away inside the were-jaguar figurine, but it seemed like giving Tezzie at least part of what he craved was the only way out of this mess.
Oh, his name rolls right off your tongue days later while it took several attempts to learn mine, Tez said, even more irritable than usual. Well, if you must know, Q is almost certainly more powerful than I am at the moment. I'd have to be extremely tricky if I wanted to trade places with the feathered serpent god.
"But won't that be the case with any deity?" Finn demanded. "If you give me the facts, I'll help you. Hopefully we can find someone much stronger than a mere mortal—but who we can both agree on—to take your place in prison, and then I'll do what it takes to reel him in. After which, once you've broken free of your prison and have your own body again, you'll protect the female were-jaguar you showed me from Mirabelle. Are we agreed?"
Yeah, sure, whatever.
"No, Tezzie, no vague promises," Finn pushed. "Tell me what you're promising."
Okay, Tezcatlipoca growled. If you manage to help me escape this prison and return to my godly power, then I'll save that precious she-jaguar so you can mate with her. I'll even give you a few pointers on courting.
"Um, that last part won't really be necessary," Finn muttered under his breath. But, taunts aside, the deal was struck, so he finally felt comfortable picking up Tezcatlipoca's statue and slipping it back into his pocket.
It looks like I'm now officially partners with a god. The only question was—how much would Finn end up regretting joining forces with a deity who had no moral compass other than looking out for himself?
Chapter 36
The boy was gone. He'd taken the time to build an arrow out of sticks to point Ixchel back onto the nonexistent trail, then he'd likely taken to his heels as soon as his employer walked out of sight.
Well, I shouldn't really be surprised, the vet thought, peering up the hillside in the direction the sticks indicated. No, she wasn't startled by the boy's absence, but she also wasn't prepared for how alone she felt now that both Ixxie and Finn were absent from her life. Her guide's desertion was just the icing on the cake.
Reaching up to finger her necklace, the vet remembered too late that even her family memento was now absent as well. She knew it had been the right decision to present the cat charm to her patron goddess, and Ixchel hadn't hesitated to make the gift once Ixxie explained that the necklace would help build a tie to her next potential priestess.
No, she hadn't hesitated at the time. But now the necklace's absence made Ixchel feel even more bereft. Too bad doing the right thing always left her isolated and lonely.
Or, apparently, not entirely isolated. The vet jumped as the chime of an alarm rang out above the river's gurgle, and it took her a moment to realize that the sound actually emanated from her cell phone. The device had been riding in her pocket all day despite the fact that she had no one to call, and despite assuming that there would be no reception in a Mexican wilderness area.
"Seriously? I can pick up a call here but we barely get reception at my practice back in West Virginia?"
Even as she muttered to herself, Ixchel was fumbling out her phone and looking at the screen. Unknown caller.
It couldn't really be Finn, could it? Twenty-four hours both felt like too much and too little time between contacts with the were-jaguar who had turned her life upside down. Too much time because, if Finn had wanted to remain in touch, surely he wouldn't have left her stranded for an entire day without any explanation. And too little time because how could anyone, even a were-jaguar, manage to deal with Tezzie in a span that could be easily measured in hours?
Well, Ixchel wouldn't know which of the dozens of scenarios running through her head were right until she answered the phone. So she closed her eyes and punched the talk button, not quite sure what kind of explanation she was hoping to hear.
"Hello?" Ixchel said cautiously. Then she was glad of her vague greeting because the voice that met her ear wasn't Finn's at all. It belonged to her brother.
"Fernando here." Her caller sounded like a soldier reporting for duty, and Ixchel grinned despite herself. Trust her oldest brother to start strong and continue forging ahead until he achieved his mission. "Don't hang up."
"I'm listening." Those two words were all Ixchel could commit to, because the sound of Fernando's voice made her throat tighten and prompted tears to well up behind her eyes. Yes, she was smiling, but she was crying too. Which was a pretty good indication of what the vet's moods were like at the moment.
"Antonio told me you ran away from him," Fernando said gruffly. "Ixxie, you can stop running."
"Ixchel," the vet replied tersely. On this one point, at least, she resolved to stand firm. After all, she'd left her childhood nickname behind a decade ago. Plus, it was confusing to be referred to by the title that she'd so recently used for a god.
"Ixchel," her brother repeated carefully. "Okay, I probably don't deserve to call you Ixxie anyway. Not after...well, everything that happened back then." The line went silent for several seconds as Ixchel and her brother both remembered parents who could no longer mediate between warring siblings. For their sake, Ixchel decided she ought to listen to what her brother had to say.
"So why don't I have to run away?" the vet asked at last. And as she spoke, she finally admitted that—despite her best intentions to be on her guard if her brothers ever caught up to her—it still meant a lot that Fernando had taken the time to call.
And how had her brother discovered the number of a burner cell that Finn had picked up in the Villahermosa airport? Ixchel resolved to deal with that issue later.
For now, the vet decided it was time to be entirely honest with herself. And if she were being honest, she'd concede that it had hurt when her brothers never bothered to track her down after they were released from prison.
Perhaps, if she was no longer telling herself lies, Ixchel would also accept the fact that she hadn't really been running scared for the entire last decade. Yes, for the first year or two, she had fallen prey to nightmares about Antonio finding her and punishing her for turning him in. But after that, she'd stopped herself from reaching out to her brothers mostly because she'd been flattened by the notion that her siblings didn't even care enough to bother finding their sister to exact revenge.
"It would make more sense if I told you a little bit about what we're doing now," Fernando answered slowly as the vet felt her way through her own convoluted emotions. "But I don't want you to hang up on me while I'm talking. You won't, will you, Ixxi...Ixchel?"
Geez. Now Fernando suddenly wanted to turn sweet and caring? Ixchel was going to be crying too hard to speak any minute now, but she was able to force out a few words first. "I won't hang up, Nando."
The vet could almost hear her brother's smile coming through the ether and into her cell phone. Fernando had always possessed the most engaging grin, probably why he'd been married with two children by the time his kid sister graduated from high school. Back then, to stand in front of Nando's smile was like basking in the sun after a long winter night, and Ixchel let her eyelids drift shut now so her brother's words could bring back fond memories.
"Okay, so I was able to get your phone number because I'm with the CIA now," he started. "I pulled some strings."
"CIA!" Despite herself, the vet's eyelids flew up. "Then you probably could have found me anytime you wanted."<
br />
"Yeah, I did find you. Years ago. But, Ixxie, you didn't want to be found. It was obvious from the way you traveled clear across the country to go to school. The way you never even contacted Maria or gave anyone a forwarding address. We'd done so much to you...." He paused again, then went on: "I thought you deserved your privacy. So I told the boys to leave you alone."
All this time, Ixchel had assumed that her brothers hadn't cared enough to hunt her down, and now she found that their absence was instead due to a decree by the new patriarch of the clan. Even when their father had been alive, her oldest brother had been a natural leader. Now, with Papá gone, Ixchel suspected that all of her siblings listened when Fernando spoke.
"So why was Antonio at Maria's then?" she asked after digesting this realignment of the past.
"Well, you know he always was a maverick."
Despite his words, Fernando's voice was still warm, and Ixchel suddenly wondered if she'd read the situation all wrong. Had Antonio been ready to break down the door of her bedroom that morning because he wanted to get back at her for past betrayals...or did her sibling simply want to see his baby sister as much as she craved seeing him? "Yeah, I guess so," she murmured. "Let me guess. He's a spy now too."
"I'm not a spy, baby sister," Fernando grumbled. "And, no, Antonio isn't with the CIA. He's a CFO—chief financial officer—at a big-name bank."
"Are you serious? People actually trust him with their money?"
"And they fight over him too," her oldest brother confirmed. Then his tone went grim. "Ixchel, what you don't realize is that you did us a huge favor when you turned us in. We got lucky and ended up with misdemeanors, and now I realize that the experience was the only thing that could have shocked us straight. Sure, your decision was a risk, but it worked. José coaches Olympic-level athletes now and Santiago is a Marine. We all owe you our lives."
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