The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls

by Anissa Gray

  〈Peace. Sleep. You’ll not lack for air, or anything else. Sleep. Peace.〉

  And he slept as he sank down into the water.

  Elemak was surprised to find that it was Shedemei at the door. All things were possible, of course—she might actually be coming here to join him. But he doubted it—it was far more likely that she was here to try to negotiate some settlement on Rasa’s behalf. In which case she wasn’t a bad choice as an emissary. He had nothing against her, and she had no awkward family connections. Besides, hadn’t she and Zdorab stood up at the end of the meeting, accepting Elemak’s authority to dismiss it? It was worth hearing what she had to say.

  So he ushered her in and let her sit down at the table, along with Meb, Obring, and Vas. Then, when she was seated, Elemak sat across from her and waited. Let her speak first, and thus let him know what to expect from her.

  “Everyone advised me against coming to you,” she said. “But I think they underestimate you, Elemak.”

  “They have before,” said Elemak.

  Meb chuckled. That annoyed Elemak—he wasn’t sure whether Meb was laughing at them for having underestimated Elemak, or laughing at Elemak for making such a claim. One was never sure, with Meb, whom he was mocking. Only that he was mocking somebody.

  “There are some important things that you seem not to understand,” said Shedemei. “And I think you need to know everything in order to make wise decisions.”

  Ah. So she was here to teach him about “reality.” Well, it was worth listening, if only so he could better plan how to undercut her position at the next meeting. He nodded for her to continue.

  “This isn’t a conspiracy to take authority away from you.”

  Right, thought Elemak. You start out by denying it, and you’ve as good as confirmed to me that that’s exactly what’s going on.

  “Most of us know that you’re the natural leader of this group, and with some exceptions, we’re content with it.”

  Oh yes. “Some” exceptions indeed.

  “And the exceptions are more among your followers than you imagine. Here at this table there is more hatred and jealousy of you than has ever been found among those who gather in the Index House.”

  “Enough of that,” said Elemak. “If you came here to try to sow distrust among those of us who are trying to protect our families from the meddlers, then you can leave now.”

  Shedemei shrugged. “I’ve said it, you’ve heard it, I care little what you do with the information. But here’s the fact: The only person you’re fighting right now is the Oversoul.”

  Meb hooted once. Shedemei ignored him.

  “The Oversoul has at last got access to the starships. It’s going to take a massive effort by all of us to cannibalize five of the ships to make one ship ready to fly. But it’s going to be done, whether you approve or not. The Oversoul is hardly going to let you block her now, when she’s come so far.”

  Elemak heard with amusement the way Shedemei persisted in referring to the inanimate computer as if it were a woman.

  “When Nafai returns, he’s going to be wearing the starmaster’s cloak. It’s a device that links him almost perfectly to the memory of the Oversoul. He’s going to know far more about you than you know about yourself, do you understand me? And there are other powers that come along with the cloak—a focus of energy, for one thing, that makes the pulse look like a toy.”

  “Is this a threat?” asked Elemak.

  “I’m telling you the simple truth. The Oversoul chose Nafai because he has the intelligence to pilot the ship, the loyalty to serve the Oversoul’s cause well, and the strength of will that broke down a supposedly impenetrable barrier and allowed the expedition to continue. Not because Nafai was conspiring against you. If you had ever shown a scrap of loyalty to the Oversoul’s cause, she might have chosen you”.

  “Do you think pathetic flattery like this will move me?”

  “I’m not flattering you,” said Shedemei. “I already said—we know you’re the born leader of this company. But you’ve chosen not to be the leader of the Oversoul’s expedition. That was your own choice, freely made. So when it comes down to it, when you realize that you have lost the leadership of this group forever, you can blame no one but yourself.”

  He felt anger growing within him.

  “Nor would you have been the second choice,” said Shedemei. “There was some doubt that Nafai would accept the cloak—for the very reason that he knew you would reject his leadership. At that point the Oversoul made her second choice. She asked me whether I would accept the burden of leadership. She explained to me more about what the cloak does and how it works than she even explained to Nafai, though by now he undoubtedly knows all. I accepted the offer. If it hadn’t been Nafai, it would have been me. Not you, Elemak. You did not miss this great office narrowly. You were never in the running, because you rejected the Oversoul from the start.”

  “Perhaps you had better leave now,” said Elemak softly.

  “But this doesn’t mean that you can’t have a valued, important role in the community,” she went on, seeming not to hear him, seeming not to notice that he boiled with rage. “Don’t force the issue, don’t force Nafai to humiliate you in front of the others. Instead work with him, and he will gladly let you take as much of the leadership as the Oversoul will let him surrender to you. I don’t think you’ve ever realized how Nafai worships you. How he has always wished he could be like you. How he has longed for your love and respect more than that of any other person.”

  “Get out of my house,” said Elemak.

  “Very well,” said Shedemei. “I see that you are a person who refuses to revise his view of the world. You can only bear to live in a world where all the bad things that happen to you are someone else’s fault, where everyone must have conspired against you to deprive you of what is your due.” She rose and walked to the door. “Unfortunately, that world happens not to be the real world. And so you four will sit here and conspire to take over the rule of Dostatok, and it will come to nothing, and you will be humiliated, and it will have been nobody’s fault but your own. Yet even then, Elemak, you have our deep respect and honor for your considerable abilities. Good night.”

  She closed the door behind her.

  Elemak could hardly control himself. He longed to leap after her, hit her again and again, beat the unbearable condescension out of her. But that would be a show of weakness; to maintain control of these others, he had to make it clear that he was unaffected by such nonsense. So he smiled wanly at them. “You see how they want to make us stupid by making us angry,” said Elemak.

  “Don’t tell me you’re not angry,” said Meb.

  “Of course I am,” said Elemak. “But I refuse to let my anger make me stupid. And she also gave us some valuable information. Apparently Nafai’s going to be coming back with some kind of magic cloak or something. Maybe it’s nothing more than an illusion, like those masks that Gaballufix dredged up to have his soldiers wear back in Basilica, so they all looked alike. Or maybe there’s some real power in it. But far from making us back down, that will simply force us to act all the more quickly and cleanly—and permanently.”

  “Meaning?” asked Vas.

  “Meaning that we will not permit anyone to leave here and go join Nafai, wherever he is. We will make him come to us. And when he does, unless he immediately backs down and accepts our decisions, we’ll eliminate his ability to make further problems.”

  “Meaning?” insisted Vas.

  “Meaning kill him, you dolt,” said Obring. “How stupid do you have to be?”

  “I knew he meant that,” said Vas quietly. “I just wanted to hear him say it with his own mouth, so that he can’t claim later that he never meant any such thing.”

  “Oh, I see,” said Elemak. “You’re worried about responsibility.” Elemak couldn’t help but compare Vas with Nafai—for all his other faults, Nyef had never shrunk from his responsibility for the death of Gaballufix. “Well, the respons
ibility is mine. Mine alone, if you insist on it. But that also means that after we’ve won, the authority is mine.”

  “I’m with you,” said Meb. “To the hilt. Does that mean that when it’s done, I share authority with you?”

  “Yes, it does,” said Elemak. If you even know what authority is, you poor simpering baboon. “It’s as simple as that. But if you haven’t got the heart to put in the knife along with us, that doesn’t mean you’re our enemy. Only keep silence about our plan, join with us in preventing others from joining Nafai, and stay out of the way when we kill him—if it comes to that.”

  “I’ll agree to that,” said Obring.

  Vas also nodded.

  “Then it’s done.”

  Nafai awoke on the floor of the room. Above him hung the block of water. He didn’t feel any different.

  That is, until he started trying to think of things. like when he tried to feel, from the inside, whether anything was different about his own body. All of a sudden a great gush of information flowed into his mind. He was conscious for a moment of all his bodily functions, and had a detailed status report on all of them. The output of his glands; his heartrate; the amount of fecal matter built up in his rectum; the current deficiency of fuel for his body’s cells, and how his fat cells were being accessed to make up the shortfall. Also, the rate of healing of all his bruises and scrapes had been accelerated, and he felt much better.

  Is this what the Oversoul has always known about me?

  At once the answer came, and now it truly was a clear voice—even clearer than when the Oversoul spoke through the Index. 〈I never knew this much about you before. The cloak has connected with every nerve in your body, and reports on your condition continuously. It also samples your blood in various places and interprets and acts to enhance your condition many times a second.〉

  Cloak?

  At once an image flashed into his mind. He could see himself from the outside, as the Oversoul no doubt saw him through its sensors. He could see his body as he rolled out from under the block and rose to his feet. His skin sparkled with light. He realized that most of the light in the room came from him. He saw himself run his hands over his own skin, trying to feel the cloak. But he felt nothing at all that was different from his normal skin.

  He wondered if he would always shine like this—if his house would always light up like this whenever he was inside.

  The thought had no sooner come to him than the Oversoul’s voice responded. 〈The cloak responds to your will. If you wish it to go dark, it will. If you wish it to build up a powerful electrical charge, it will—and you can point your finger and send an arc of energy in whatever direction you choose. Nothing can harm you while you wear this, and you can be deeply dangerous to others—yet if you have no wish to harm someone, the cloak will be passive. Your children can sleep in the dark, and you can hold your wife as you always have. Indeed, the more physical contact you have with others, the more your cloak will extend to include them, and even respond, in a small way, to your will.〉

  So Luet will also wear this cloak?

  〈Through you, yes. It will protect her; it will give her better access to my memory. But why do you ask me these things? Instead of thinking of questions, why not simply cast your mind back and try to remember, as if you had always known about the cloak. The memories will come to your mind easily and clearly, then. You’ll know all there is to know.〉

  Nafai tried it, and suddenly he had no more questions about the cloak. He understood what it meant to be shipmaster. He even understood exactly what the Oversoul needed him to do to prepare a starship for departure.

  “We don’t have enough lifetimes among us, including our children, to do all of this,” said Nafai.

  〈I told you that I’d give you the tools to work with. Some aspects of the robots are unsalvageable now, but other parts can be used. The machines themselves are perfectly workable—it’s only my program to control them that is defective. Parts of it can be reactivated, and then you and the others can set the robots to doing the meaningless tasks under your direction. You’ll see.〉

  And now Nafai “remembered” exactly what the Oversoul had determined was possible. It would take some serious work for several hours to get the robots working, but he could do it—he remembered how. “I’ll get started at once,” he said. “Is there anything to eat here?”

  No sooner had he asked than he remembered that of course there was no food here. It made him impatient to think of having to leave this place and go hunt for food. “Can’t you bring the others here? Have them bring food, and … I don’t see why we should have to take a day’s journey every time someone comes here. We can rebuild our village here—there’s plenty of water in the hills to the south, and plenty of lumber. We can spend a week doing that and save ourselves many days of travel each year until the ships are done.”

  〈I’ll pass the word. Or you can tell them yourself.〉

  “Tell them myself?” And then he remembered: Since the Oversoul’s memory was now “his” memory, he could speak to the others through the Index. So he did.

  “You’re not going,” said Elemak.

  Zdorab and Volemak stood before him in bafflement. “What do you mean?” said Volemak. “Nafai needs food, and we need to mark out the new village. I assumed you’d want to come along.”

  “And I say you’re not going. Nobody’s going. We’re not moving the village, and nobody is moving from here to go join Nafai. His attempt at seizing power here has failed. Give it up, Father. When Nyef gets hungry enough, he’ll come home.”

  ‘I’m your father, Elya, not your child. You can decide not to go yourself, but you have no authority to stop me.”

  Elemak tapped his finger on the table.

  “Unless you’re threatening to use violence against your father,” said Volemak.

  “I have told you the law of this place,” said Elemak. “Nobody leaves this town without my permission. And you don’t have my permission.”

  “And if I disobey your presumptuous, illegal command?” said Volemak.

  “Then you’re no longer part of Dostatok,” said Elemak. “If you’re caught skulking around here, you’ll be treated as a thief.”

  “Do you think the others will consent to this?” asked Volemak. “If you raise a hand against me, you’ll earn only the disgust of the others.”

  “I’ll earn their obedience,” said Elemak. “I advise you .. . don’t force the issue. No one takes food to Nafai. He comes home, and the charade about starships ends.”

  Volemak stood in silence, Zdorab beside him. Their faces were inscrutable.

  “All right,” said Volemak.

  Elemak was surprised—could Father be giving in so easily?

  “Nafai says he’ll come home now. He has the first robots recommissioned and working. He’ll be home in an hour.”

  “In an hour!” said Meb, who was standing nearby. “Well there it is. This Vusadka place was supposed to be a whole day’s journey away.”

  “Nafai only just got the paritkas working. If they function well enough, we won’t have to move the village.”

  “What’s a paritka?” asked Meb.

  Don’t ask, you fool, Elemak said silently. It just plays into Father’s hands.

  “A flying wagon,” said Volemak.

  “And I suppose you’re talking to Nafai right now?”

  “When we don’t have the Index with us,” said Volemak, “his voice is as hard to distinguish from our normal thoughts as the Oversoul’s voice normally is. But he’s talking to us, yes. You could hear him yourself, if you only listened.”

  Elemak couldn’t help laughing. “Oh, yes, I’m sure that I’m going to sit here and listen for the voice of my faraway brother, talking in my mind.”

  “Why not?” asked Zdorab. “He already sees everything that the Oversoul sees. Including what’s going on in your mind. For instance, he knows that you and Meb plan to kill him as soon as he gets back here.”

&nbs
p; Elemak leapt to his feet. “That’s a lie!” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Meb getting a panicked look on his face. Just keep your mouth shut, Meb. Can’t you recognize a wild guess when you hear one? Just don’t do anything to confirm their guess. “Now get back to your house, Father. You too, Zdorab. The only way Nafai will be in any danger is if he attacks us or tries to mutiny.”

  “This isn’t the desert now,” said Volemak. “And you’re not in command.”

  “On the contrary,” said Elemak. “Desert law still applies, and I am the leader of this expedition. I have been all along. I only deferred to you, old man, out of courtesy.”

  “Let’s go,” said Zdorab, drawing Volemak out of Elemak’s house.

  “And deprive Elemak of the chance of showing exactly how malicious he really is?”

  “Not malicious, Father,” said Elemak. “Just fed up. It’s you and Nyef, Rasa and Luet and your group who started this. Nobody asked you to start this stupid business about traveling out among the stars. Everything was going fine—you’re the ones who decided to change all the rules. Well, the rules have changed, and for once they don’t favor you. Now take your medicine like a man.”

  “I grieve for you,” said Volemak. Then Zdorab had him out the door and they were gone.

  “They knew,” said Mebbekew. “They knew what we were planning.”

  “Oh, shut up,” said Elemak. “They guessed, and you nearly blurted out a confirmation of their guess.”

  “I didn’t,” said Meb. “I didn’t say a thing.”

  “Get your bow and arrow. You’re a good enough shot for this.”

  “You mean we aren’t going to wait and talk to him first?”

  “I think Nafai will talk more reasonably if he has an arrow in him, don’t you?”

  Meb left the house. Elemak rose to his feet and reached for his bow over the fireplace.

  “Don’t do it.”

  He turned and saw Eiadh standing in the doorway to the bedroom, holding the baby on her hip.