by Rose Pearson
Mr. Lowell was not about to be removed from her heart easily.
Georgiana had barely slept the previous evening, both thoroughly confused and a little afraid. Lord Poole had not seen her speaking to Mr. Lowell, she was sure of it, but the thought he might have done so kept her lying awake for hours. The threats he had made hung over her head, taking some of the delight from her kiss with Mr. Lowell. She knew very well what he was offering her, knew he was giving her not only the chance to escape but also the opportunity to continue to explore the clear regard and affection that was growing between herself and Mr. Lowell, but the fear of what would come crashing down onto Lord and Lady Rutledge’s head should she do so lingered like a malevolent shadow.
“I think we should take a carriage ride.”
Georgiana lifted her head and looked at Lord Poole in surprise.
“The afternoon is cold but clear,” he said, practically ordering her to obey. “How long will it take you to change?”
Georgiana looked down at her gown, realizing it was not a particularly warm one given she had not expected to be going out of doors this afternoon. “I should be ready within half an hour,” she said, getting out of her chair quickly and feeling her stomach tying itself in knots. “If you would not mind waiting?”
He waved a hand. “Do ensure you have a maid with you also,” he said firmly. “This is the last day I shall be in London. I return to my estate tomorrow. We have some matters to discuss as regards our wedding.”
Georgiana, who did not understand why they could not discuss such things in the warmth and comfort of Lord Allerton’s drawing-room, bobbed a quick curtsy and hurried from the room. Her stomach was twisting this way and that, her mind befuddled with so many thoughts and feelings that when she rounded a corner, she practically walked straight into Lady Allerton.
“Goodness, Georgiana!” Lady Allerton exclaimed as Georgiana stumbled back, apologizing. “Where are you going in such a hurry?” Her eyes fixed upon Georgiana’s, a narrowing of her eyes telling Georgiana that her sister-in-law was not about to let her go past without a simple word of explanation. “I thought Lord Poole was present.”
“He is waiting for me,” Georgiana said quickly, making to walk past her sister-in-law. “We are to take a carriage ride.”
Lady Allerton frowned, turned, and began to accompany Georgiana up the staircase. “But you were to have him for afternoon tea.”
“And now he wants to take a carriage ride,” Georgiana said with a shrug. “So, therefore, I must change.”
Lady Allerton sighed heavily but said nothing more until Georgiana had reached her bedchamber. As the maid came scurrying in after them both, Lady Allerton closed the door firmly, leaned against it, and fixed Georgiana with a firm gaze.
“Why are you obeying whatever Lord Poole asks of you, Georgiana?” she asked, her voice almost accusing in its tone. “He says you are to go for a carriage ride, and you immediately go to change instead of stating the agreement was to take tea.”
Georgiana swallowed hard, looking back at Lady Allerton and wondering if she ought to tell her the truth. “I—I am merely trying to please my betrothed,” she answered lamely, knowing that such words were nothing more than falsehood. “Is that not the right thing to do?” She stepped to one side as the maid began to undo the buttons on the back of her gown.
“No, it is not,” Lady Allerton answered with a firmness that surprised Georgiana. “You might well wish to do as he asks, but only if that comes from a place of regard, of affection.” She took a few steps further into the room but did not lift her eyes from Georgiana’s face. “But if you are doing it out of fear, then that is quite wrong.”
Georgiana closed her eyes but said nothing, feeling a swell of emotion rise up within her, threatening to break over her.
“Ever since you returned from your walk with Lord Poole some days ago, you have retreated into a shell that none of us can break apart,” Lady Allerton said softly, coming closer to Georgiana as Georgiana opened her eyes. “What is it he has said that makes you so afraid?”
Georgiana closed her eyes again and shook her head mutely. There had been so much happening these last few days she could barely keep her thoughts in coherent order. Last evening, she had given into the desires of her heart and had kissed Mr. Lowell with all the passion she felt. It had been only momentary, but it felt as though she had lingered there for much longer. She knew very well what Mr. Lowell was offering her, what he was asking of her, but there was still a great fear within her heart. A fear that, should she accept him, Mr. Lowell might then be brought to ruin, that Lord and Lady Rutledge would have pain and scandal brought to their door by her actions.
You could go to America with him.
A small shiver ran down her spine at the thought. That was what Mr. Lowell had been offering her, had been asking of her, but Georgiana had thrown that idea aside almost at once. She could not even think of going to America with him, not when she would have to cry off from her engagement, and that in itself would bring scandal. A scandal that would, inevitably, touch Lord and Lady Allerton also. On top of which, Georgiana was quite sure that Lord Poole would do all he could to ruin Mr. Lowell’s good name, and in doing so, bring shame to Lord and Lady Rutledge, just as he had threatened.
“What is it, Georgiana?”
Lady Allerton’s voice was soft and filled with compassion and concern. Georgiana shook her head and stepped into a warmer gown, the deep red suiting her coloring very well indeed.
“There is something wrong,” Lady Allerton said softly, putting one hand on Georgiana’s arm. “Why will you not tell me what it is? I might be able to help.” Her eyes searched Georgiana’s face. “I know you are afraid of Lord Poole. You should talk to your brother about whatever it is Lord Poole has done to upset you. The match might not be suitable after all.”
“But it is agreed!” Georgiana exclaimed, the sound of her voice filling the room and startling not only the maid but also Lady Allerton herself. “The agreement is done. I am to marry Lord Poole, and there is nothing that can prevent that.”
Lady Allerton blinked in surprise and, with a wave of her hand, dismissed the maid. “What do you mean, my dear?” she asked as the maid hurried to the door. “You know very well you can cry off.”
Georgiana shook her head. “The scandal,” she said hopelessly, dropping her head. “And there is no promise that I should find someone else to marry me.”
Lady Allerton’s brow lifted. “Not even Mr. Lowell?” she asked gently. “I know he cares for you and you care for him.” A small smile lifted her mouth as Georgiana looked up sharply. “You do not need to pretend, my dear. I know what it is like to have a deep affection for another. I can see it in your eyes and in the way he looks at you.” Tenderly, she smiled to herself. “Lord Allerton has the very same look in his gaze when he looks at me.”
Georgiana wanted to break down into tears, her emotions held just below the surface and no more. Her pain was growing steadily, her confusion mounting, and yet Lady Allerton’s words spoke the truth to her heart.
“He has offered to take me to America,” she whispered brokenly. “But Lord Poole has threatened to ruin Mr. Lowell and spread the scandal to his cousin and her husband, should I go near to him again.”
There was a long pause and, when Georgiana looked up, she saw nothing but anger in her sister-in-law’s eyes.
“He is threatening you?” she asked hoarsely, her eyes now burning with an inner fire that Georgiana could almost feel. “Lord Poole?”
Without even realizing she was doing it, Georgiana put a hand to her cheek, remembering how Lord Poole had struck her. She had managed to hide it from both her brother and sister-in-law, but the fear and the upset she felt had gone deep into her soul. Lady Allerton narrowed her eyes all the more, stepping forward so she was closer to Georgiana now.
“Georgiana,” she said firmly, looking at Georgiana square in the face. “If your brother knew that Lord Poole had done anything t
o hurt you, then he would not hesitate to bring an end to your engagement.”
Georgiana closed her eyes tightly, feeling hot tears prick at the corners of her eyes. “I did not want to upset you, Alice,” she said, her voice breaking with the emotion that swamped her. “But I am so very confused. I should be grateful that my brother has found me a decent match. Lord Poole is...titled and wealthy and refined, even if he lacks the excellent character I had hoped for.” Sniffing, she opened her eyes, glad that no tears fell to her cheeks. “It is foolish to consider Mr. Lowell,” she finished brokenly. “If I leave a trail of scandal and lies behind me, which will not only affect Mr. Lowell but also his cousin, then I should never forgive myself.”
Lady Allerton closed her eyes and let out a long breath, her knuckles white as she grasped the back of a chair. It was clear to Georgiana she was trying her best to keep her temper, making Georgiana fear that her sister-in-law might do something unexpected and entirely unwise.
“I should marry Lord Poole, as I am expected to do,” Georgiana whispered in the hope that this would make things better. “He is right to say that I ought not to become too close to Mr. Lowell.”
“No.” Lady Allerton opened her eyes and looked at Georgiana directly, her expression set. “No, Georgiana, that is precisely what you ought not to do.” She gave her a small smile. “You should not give in to blackmail or threats. That is not the sort of gentleman we thought Lord Poole to be.” Her eyes dropped to the floor for a moment, an expression of regret rippling across her face. “Quiet, refined, and perhaps a little cool in his character, but never cruel.” Lifting her gaze back to Georgiana, she shook her head. “I will speak to Allerton.”
Georgiana swallowed hard, fear beginning to bite at her again. “But what if something is done that will bring about what Lord Poole has threatened?”
Lady Allerton hesitated, clearly unable to give Georgiana an answer that would satisfy her. “I—I do not know,” she said honestly. “But I must hope that your brother will think of a way to let you free of this engagement without there being any particularly grave consequences.” Her head tilted just a little, a question in her eyes. “And when you are free, Georgiana, what then?”
The question hung in the air between them, and Georgiana caught her breath, feeling butterflies begin to stir in the pit of her belly.
“Mr. Lowell will be returning to America soon after Christmas,” Lady Allerton reminded her, gently. “The time to speak to him of what you feel is at hand.”
Georgiana shook her head, pressing her hands to her eyes for a moment. “I—I need to think,” she said eventually. “I have been very lost and confused these last few days. When I was dancing with Mr. Lowell last evening, I...” She trailed off, the moment coming back to her with all swiftness. She had felt safe in his arms, had felt as though this was the right place for her to be. It had been only a moment, but it had meant so much to her, she did not think she would be able to forget it for the rest of her life.
“I will not pretend that leaving one’s home to start a new life somewhere new is not difficult,” Lady Allerton said softly, stepping forward and taking Georgiana’s hand. “I know exactly how it feels. But, and I can assure you of this, if you are loved by another, if you are held tightly in their heart, then the pain and the sorrow of leaving behind one’s home becomes less. It grows less and less each day until you find yourself quite content.”
Georgiana nodded, tears beginning to creep down her cheeks. “I do feel afraid of what will happen if I give full sway to my feelings,” she said honestly. “It would mean leaving everything behind, but the thought of saying goodbye to Mr. Lowell, never to see him again, is almost more than I can bear.”
Lady Allerton nodded sagely, clearly understanding everything Georgiana had expressed. “Then take your walk with Lord Poole,” she said, pressing Georgiana’s hands. “Do not say a word to him about what we have discussed. Rather, continue as normal. When you return, your brother and I will have talked about what you have told me, and, together, I am sure we can come up with something.” She smiled warmly. “Whether or not you do decide to tell Mr. Lowell the truth of your heart or allow him to return to America without ever expressing it, I do not think any longer that Lord Poole is the right gentleman for you, Georgiana. I do wish you had spoken to me earlier of your struggle.”
Georgiana could not speak, such was the lump in her throat. All she could do was press her sister-in-law’s hands tightly, wanting her to know just how grateful she was.
“Then I will let you finish preparing,” Lady Allerton said gently. “And we will speak at length when you return.”
* * *
“The wedding is to take place a week after Christmas.”
Georgiana looked up at her betrothed, realizing just how timid she was before him. She had not always been this way, she noted, aware that when they had first met, she had been very dismissive of him. It had been ever since he had struck her, ever since he had made those dark and devious threats, that she had retreated inside herself until she was almost too afraid to move. Her sister-in-law was clearly angry with Lord Poole’s actions, whereas she was still quite afraid.
That awareness did not bring her any joy. Rather, it made her feel almost sick with frustration and upset. This was not the sort of young lady she wished to be! She wanted to be confident, secure, and happy—and such things would not be discovered if she remained in Lord Poole’s company!
“Did you hear me, Lady Georgiana?”
Lord Poole’s voice was harsh and angry, making her jerk her head up.
“I did,” she replied, trying to keep the tremor from her voice and looking deep within herself for the courage she knew she would soon need. “A week after Christmas.”
“I am to return to my estate tomorrow, now that the roads are finally clear enough for my carriage,” he continued, looking at her with a dark expression. “You will send word to me the moment you have returned to your brother’s estate, which I presume will be very soon.”
Georgiana blinked, then lifted one shoulder in a small shrug. “I will have to ask my brother.”
“There is no reason for you to remain in London,” Lord Poole said, his tone accusing. “Unless there is something you have not yet told me?”
Her chest tightened, but Georgiana forced herself to look up into Lord Poole’s face as they drew near to his carriage. “I do not know what you mean, Lord Poole,” she said with as much coldness in her tone as she could muster. “Shall we return? It is very cold.” Snow had not been falling for a few days now, but the cold and the chill meant the ground was still frozen hard, and Georgiana could feel the wind whipping through her skirts, making her shiver. “And I know my brother will want me to return swiftly, given our walk was unplanned.”
Lord Poole stopped right in front of the carriage, turning around to look at Georgiana so that his gaze was fixed on hers. His expression was dark, his eyes angry, and his face almost bloodless with the cold.
“You do not think I am a fool, I hope.”
Georgiana swallowed but kept her expression blank. “I do not,” she answered honestly.
“Then you must know that I am aware you have a closeness with Mr. Lowell you simply refuse to set aside,” he said angrily. “I may not have been present in the ballroom last evening, Lady Georgiana, but I have acquaintances who were present and who saw you there with him.” His eyes narrowed all the more. “I did warn you, Lady Georgiana.”
Georgiana felt herself tremble but held her frame steady. Looking up into her betrothed eyes, she tried to find the strength to stand up to him, to tell him she was not afraid of his threats when the truth of it was, she was afraid of the consequences that would follow.
“There is no reason for me to give up any acquaintance with Mr. Lowell just because you demand it,” she said, aware her voice was shaking but forcing herself to remain as calm as she could. “I am not the sort of young lady that will be pushed to one direction and then the other by way
of your demands.”
His lip curled. “You and I are betrothed, Lady Georgiana,” he hissed, leaning down over her. “Or do you forget that we are soon to be wed?”
“And what if I do not wish it?” she asked, her heart in her throat as she tried her best to speak with strength. “What if I have decided that we will not suit?”
Silence grew between them like a dark cloud, but Georgiana held her gaze with every fiber of her being. Her courage grew slowly, but the memory of being in Mr. Lowell’s arms helped her all the more. He was the man she ought to be considering, not Lord Poole. A title meant nothing; wealth lost its sheen in the face of a disagreeable, if not downright cruel nature.
“You dare to suggest you would cry off?” Lord Poole demanded, seeming to grow in size in front of her, seeming to fill every inch of her vision. “You dare even to think you would bring that sort of shame to me?”
Georgiana opened her mouth to speak, only for something to slam hard against the side of her head. She staggered to one side, her eyes squeezed shut with the pain of it. She could hear Lord Poole continuing to rail at her, could hear his angry voice and his furious exclamations, but they all seemed to be coming from very far away. In fact, she could hear very little, she realized, as the darkness began to clutch at her, pulling her in towards itself until she could hear nothing at all.
Chapter Ten
“You have a note, Lowell.”
Oliver looked up with interest as Lady Rutledge handed him a note that had evidently just arrived. He had been making arrangements for his return to America, having decided to linger until after Christmas as he had first intended, but there was now another question in his mind. Ought he to book passage for only himself or for himself and a companion? A companion whom he hoped would be Lady Georgiana.
