by Abby Moody
“Stop it. You get away from me.” I snarled at the nurse, ripping my arm away from her grip.
“Now Abby, we do this all the time. It’s quick and painless.”
I crawled to the top of the giant pillow and crouched down like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings.
“Abby come down.”
“No! I’ve had enough of you. Get away from me you turd!”
My parents were appalled. I felt quite proud of myself. I spoke my mind for the first time. The nurse dropped her jaw and froze in shock. Suddenly, my parents and the nurse grabbed me and pinned me down while I kicked and screamed until the shot was over. My parents were horribly embarrassed.
I pulled my mind back into the present. My mom and I were laughing together at the hilarious flashback.
The next morning, I was sent home and felt like a total failure. I had missed my last cheer competition of the season. Why did my throat randomly decide to close itself shut? A question I will never have an answer to. I was hoping my series of unfortunate events had finally come to an end. After all, high school tryouts were right around the corner. I had some work to do.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: A NEW TRUST
When I thought things were getting better that was usually when things got ugly again. One day in early March, Hannah and I went to a baseball game together. We were sitting in the stands eating Snickers bars and talking about boys. Nothing new.
“Abb, there is something you need to know about Dawson.” Hannah said out of the blue.
I paused mid-bite into the gooey caramel center of the Snickers, and asked, “What’s that?”
She took a deep breath, and said, “Well, we were talking with a group of people the other day…And....”
I didn’t say anything. I just waited with anticipation, while my heart started to sink, as I examined the worry on her face.
“And, well… He has a girlfriend.”
My heart dropped into the abyss. I tried to fight back tears, and hide my hurt.
I didn’t know what to say so I remained silent. Hannah filled the silence and asked, “Are you okay Abb?”
“Oh, yeah, I’ll be fine… We’re better off as friends anyways.”
She looked sideways at me, knowing that the information cut deep and I just didn’t want to talk about it. She let it go, and changed the subject to my relief.
After the game, I hopped onto my trampoline. I cried and cried. The searing pain of liking someone that will never like you back. It felt like a cut that never would heal. My heart was always broken. I wanted so bad to be with him. To be his girlfriend. Or even be seen as an attractive girl to him, and to get out of the stupid friend zone.
My cries then turned into a prayer. I dropped to my knees, and poured my heart out to God and explained why I was hurt. I asked God to take away the pain.
After a few days of trying to get over the idea of Dawson’s new girlfriend, I discovered that this news had actually been spreading like a fungus around the entire school. I tried to show no emotion when several acquaintances would bring it up in conversation during class or lunch breaks.
“Did you hear that Dawson has a girlfriend now? I hear she’s like, a really pretty blonde!”
“Oh wow… yeah.. that’s great.” I responded each time, forcing a smile.
The good news was that same week I got my braces removed. I made sure to immediately update my Myspace picture. I even got a new theme song, “Lip Gloss” by Lil Mama, uploaded for my page.
I also had been training my heart out. Tryouts were around the corner. I spent long days and evenings at Planet Cheer, and countless hours on the trampoline. Coach Shawn was training me to throw my full twist on the hard surface, instead of the spring floor. That was the skill I always believed was impossible for me to ever do.
I got used to turning to God for the strength and ability in my training. I would pray before, and thank Him afterwards. I felt an immense amount of confidence come over me right before I would tumble. There was no other feeling like it. I had power I never have had before. Even before all of my random unfortunate events.
Coach Shawn trained me well. It did take an immense amount of mental strength to even let him spot me on the hard mat. He spotted me over and over again, but I couldn’t get over my severe mental block.
“Abby… this is your moment to show those judges at try-outs that you deserve to be on varsity. This is it… now show them! Throw your full!”
“Shawn it’s not that simple… every time I’m about to do it an image of myself falling on my neck again pops into my mind.”
“Forget that! Picture yourself doing it perfectly every single time… then picture the look on all their faces at try-outs when you do it.”
I nodded in agreement, then put my hands over my head and walked away.
“You’re not giving up are you?”
“No – give me a minute and I’ll do it.”
“That’s the Abby I know.”
I turned around and walked back to the corner of the hard mat. I stared at my end destination, and pictured the images Shawn told me to. It helped. I took a deep breath. It was as if a supernatural confidence had come over me.
I ran across the mat in my high-top shoes. It all happened so fast, almost like a blur, and I landed.
I finally conquered it, and threw my full alone on the hard mat. I felt like I was on top of the world. I knew I was ready to make a comeback.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: TRYOUTS BEGIN
The first day of tryouts were on a Monday right after school. We were supposed to learn the material throughout the week and perform it individually on Friday like usual.
When we walked into the gymnasium, I noticed a long, blue tumbling mat laid across the court on the far side. Coach Melissa asked for everyone to gather around and sit down in front of her.
“Hey everyone! I’m so happy to see ya’ll here! We’re going to be doing things a little bit different this next season. I used to cheer in college, and we were highly competitive. So, I would like to become more competitive this next season. I would ultimately like to go to the state championship competition next November.” She was talking so fast out of excitement. I glanced around and saw several girls looking at each other in shock.
She continued, “So, I’d like to focus this tryout mostly on skill. I’m looking for strong tumbling, jumps, stunting, and very sharp motions. Today, we’ll have different areas throughout the gym designated for certain skills. Later this week, we’ll learn the cheer and dance that you will all tryout with on Friday. Also, this year we will provide a blue tumbling mat that you can use during tryouts for your running tumbling pass.”
My heart leapt. I knew I could throw my full on the mat. That would work to my complete advantage for tryouts!
As everyone got up, they sang the tacky song, “peanut butter jelly, spread out” clap, clap.
That song was like pterodactyls screeching in my ears.
I decided to go over to the tumbling area first. I walked over alone and began stretching out and mentally preparing myself.
“Abby, are you ready for tryouts this year?” Victoria asked from behind me, as she started stretching too.
“Yeah… I think so.”
“Didn’t you just have mono though? I know I wouldn’t be able to perform as well if I had it as long as you did.”
“I recovered just fine thanks.’
“Gosh, I just feel so bad for you. Let me know if you can’t handle tryouts and everything. I can give you a ride home if you start to feel sick.”
I swore she had a bottomless pit of passive aggressive comments.
“Thanks.”
I got up and started warming up on the long, blue mat laid out across the basketball court, with no springs at all. Several girls, including myself, were taking turns tumbling.
“Abby, are you sure you feel okay?” She asked as she sat down on the court and started stretching again.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Jenn
y walked over and joined the conversation.
“Yeah Abb, take it easy okay? You literally just recovered from mono, and from your recent Emergency room trip.”
“Oh, what’d you go to the hospital for?” Victoria asked only to pry.
“Guys… I’m fine I promise.” I said, ignoring her question.
It was finally time. I walked to the front of that blue mat. I stared ahead trying to focus and block them out.
I bolted.
I whipped into my back handspring, lifted into the air. My body twisted upside down, suspended above the mat.
BOOM. I landed perfectly with both feet together.
I walked past Victoria, looked down, and whispered, “I think I’m okay. Thanks for all your concern.”
Friday after school, all sixty-five girls were gathered in the high school cafeteria waiting for tryouts to start. I walked up to a group of girls, I had never seen before, all circled around a sophomore – Annie Stansberry. Annie was telling a story about something embarrassing that happened at school that day.
I suddenly noticed a huge, black particle in the middle of Annie’s two front teeth. I looked around the circle to find none of the girls actually listening to her story. They were clearly staring at her mouth. I felt bad. No one was going to tell her. Bunch of jerks.
“Hey Annie, can I talk to you for a second? I’m sorry to interrupt.”
She looked at me surprised. Then she noticed the girls around her unengaged in her story. So, she followed me away from the group.
“Is something wrong?” She furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion.
“You – um well – I just wanted to tell you… ” I couldn’t even find the words. Finally I spit it out.
“You have something in your teeth.”
“What! Ew. Where?!” She darted to the bathroom, and I followed.
“Oh my gosh. That is huge. That’s so embarrassing. Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“Well, that’s why I did. I’m sorry I couldn’t stand to watch everyone gathered around, and not tell you.”
“Thank you Abby. I really do appreciate it.” Her eyes flickered with gratitude.
We walked out of the bathroom and I noticed Jenny and Victoria sitting with the current varsity cheerleaders in the middle of the room. I made sure to avoid that area, and we sat in the corner on the cool tile. I proceeded to tell her some of my most embarrassing stories to make her feel better.
I started with a story that happened when I was twelve years old.
“So this one time, I walked in front of a stadium of people with a foot long piece of toilet paper hanging from my pants, blowing in the wind…” She thought it was hilarious.
I continued to my next story, “Back when I was in the fourth grade, I got poison ivy. Not just a normal case of the ivy – no. It took the shape of a giant ‘L’ on my forehead. I was called loser for the rest of the school year.”
In the moment of laughing with Annie about our unfortunate events, I knew that we were destined to become great friends. Tryouts were finally underway. I was number twelve, waiting patiently with Annie. I was calm and confident, ready to completely rock the tryout. I mean, I had only been waiting for this moment to kick all their butts since last year. I didn’t come to make the team; I came to be the best.
“Number twelve!” A senior girl called out.
I entered the gym, shoulders back, chin up. Coach Melissa was smiling down at me from the stands. Coach Rebecca was by her side scribbling down notes already. There was a third judge next to them that I didn’t recognize. My pair of high top shoes were now grey and worn from all the practicing. They looked like they were about to fall apart, and no longer squeaked across the basketball court like they did last year.
“Abby, are you ready to begin?” Coach Melissa asked.
“I am.”
“Let’s start with the cheer, chant, and dance.”
I had no mess-ups at all. I executed all of it. They were all looking down scribbling notes.
“Okay. Now let’s see your jumps.”
I soared through my jumps, and stared back at them when I finished. Trying my best to breathe regularly through my teeth.
“Lastly, can we see your tumbling? Let’s start with the standing then do running.”
I had a big grin on my face, and stood straight up. I jumped backwards and tucked my knees. I landed my standing tuck easily on the court. Then I walked in silence to the front of the long, blue mat. Last year they didn’t have this mat available, but I was praising God that this year they did so I could throw my full.
I took a deep breath, stared forward, and recited Philippians 4:13 in my head. I didn’t even try to smile. I had to focus. The moment I had been training hours and days for was finally here.
So much anger built up.
I ran out of rage for all the times I was put down and made fun of for being on JV. For the look in Victoria’s eyes as she bumped me in the hallways at school wearing her varsity uniform on game days. For the way Victoria and her friends would flirt with Dawson from the sidelines, while I watched helplessly from the stands. And for the belief I had for a year that I wasn’t good enough.
I threw my full with ease. They stared at me. Then they all scribbled some notes. I knew I had finally made it. I looked down at my old, worn high top shoes, and smiled.
I want to give God the glory for making the varsity cheerleading squad in high school.
For some people, it might not be a big accomplishment. But for me, as you’ve read through the struggles and trails, it was a huge accomplishment. A milestone conquered in my life. Little did I know, that was only the first step to the next chapter. You see, there is all of this “fast track to success” advice nowadays, isn’t there? “I promise if you just do this one trick every day, you will be successful. If you buy this course online, you will find your goals being met and achieve financial freedom.”
What a time to be alive!
Don’t fall for that. There is no fast track to anything (unless you’re one of those super lucky people). One, I mean, ONE step at a time can even be YEARS of work. And each of those steps are worth celebrating! Don’t minimize your accomplishments, and put yourself down just to make someone else feel better. Everyone has their own accomplishments, and things they’re proud of. Please don’t downgrade your talents just because someone else doesn’t have the same one. Celebrate your talents, your dreams, and your accomplishments! They will inspire other people too looking to do the same thing.
And I’m not saying to start bragging about everything. Not at all. There’s a fine line between bragging, and being happy about something. And an accomplishment can also be a platform to tell more people that it was actually God who should get the glory. It’s a great way to share your testimony! Think of Tim Tebow. He was amazing at football. He obviously did extremely well and went to the professional level. He is constantly giving the glory back to God, and sharing with more and more people about what God has done in his life. How cool is that?!
God gives each of us unique gifts and talents. Why should we hide those away from everyone? Just because we’re scared we will be judged? Or we won’t be accepted by others?
God wants us to use our gifts and talents to bring HIM GLORY. And give Him the credit. He wants us to do great things, and talk about it in His name. And to build others up, and encourage them to do the same.
I wish there was less judgement in this world. It seems like that’s really keeping others, especially the younger crowd, from chasing their dreams. Especially in a world of social media, everyone has a voice and is very quick to judge and type something hateful on someone else’s profile. Social media can be great in some aspects… But that’s the thing I don’t like about it. There are all kinds of negativity in this world, and that’s just one of the ways it’s being spread.
It seems like it’s cool to be negative. It’s like the new trend. What would this world be like, if it was the other way around? If the t
rend was to be encouraging, and positive? Do you think more people would work hard for their God-given talents? Or, more people would follow what they feel like God wants for their lives, rather than what society wants?
Where ever YOU are in life, I encourage you to stand strong in your faith, in the midst of a society that applauses wordly things. I want to encourage you to really try to figure out your talents and passions, and use them to glorify God. He will surprise you in the process! I will cheer you on, (cheerleading is kind of ingrained in me), to your success. Success in my eyes, is following God’s plan for your life. Success is not money. It’s not being Instagram famous. It’s not about owning a super nice house with an energy-efficient hybrid car. It’s not about having the cutest clothes. Or, being the most popular in your school or online.
Wherever you are in life, you’ve got this! You can do anything… with God’s strength.
With love,
- Abby Moody
