Leah brushed a strand of wayward hair from her eyes, then tugged her hat farther down on her forehead, but she didn’t turn his way or seem to notice his regard. Steven shrugged, content not to break the silence, even if he wasn’t enjoying his thoughts. They had another couple of miles to go, pushing the cattle to a grassy meadow.
He shifted to the fore again, keeping his focus on a cow and calf that kept trying to wander off the trail. What would his sister think of his proposed move? Would it bother Beth to lose her brother so soon, after so recently reuniting? Or was she so wrapped up in her new marriage that she’d barely notice?
He grimaced, ashamed of his thoughts. It probably was no more Beth’s fault than his own that they hadn’t spent time together lately, since he’d been burning the candle at both ends between his job at the bank and his work at the ranch. He hadn’t even visited the boardinghouse to see his mother as often as he should.
Ma would likely be torn between happiness for her son and grief that she might lose touch with him. But La Grande was only a two-day ride from Baker City, and he would assure her he’d visit. Ma would never move back with him, Steven knew without asking. Beth had become her world, and even his leaving wouldn’t change that.
He reined his horse sharply to the right and bumped him with his spur, urging the gelding after the rogue cow. She darted around a tree and ducked into a stand of brush, her calf galloping close behind.
Leah’s horse broke into a canter and headed toward them. “Need help?”
He waved a gloved hand. “No, thanks. You’ve probably got enough ornery critters on your side of the herd.”
She nodded and moved in a wide arc, returning to the outside flank of the couple of dozen head still moving forward.
Steven pushed his mount a little harder, and they reached the stand of brush at the same time the cow and calf broke through. “Aha! I got you now.” He uncoiled his rope and swung it, dropping the loop over the cow’s horns, then looped his end around his saddle horn. The bawling cow dug in and pulled, but only wrestled for a moment before she dropped in behind Steven’s gelding. She swung her head and bellowed for her calf, then trotted along behind.
Steven moved closer to the cow as they neared the herd, shaking out his rope and flipping the loop over her head. “Go on now and don’t run off again.”
He slowed his gelding to a walk and fell in along the flank opposite Leah. What would she think if he told her about the possible move to La Grande? Would she be sorry to see him go, or shrug it off, figuring it nothing more than an inconvenience that she’d need to find another cowhand to take his place?
Truth be told, she’d be better off to find someone steady who could help her and Charlie and give a full week’s work, since Tom didn’t pull his weight as many hours as they needed. Maybe he shouldn’t mention it until he’d made up his mind whether to take the job.
But why stay? The vice presidency would give him a solid financial foundation, and it wouldn’t be long before he could purchase his own home.
He looked around him at the mountains in the distance and the broad expanse of lush pastureland that stretched clear to the base of the foothills. La Grande was beautiful too, but this place was special. Was it only the beauty of the landscape that drew him?
His gaze drifted to the woman sitting on her horse as though she belonged there. Leah was born to the land and loved it with every fiber of her being. If only he believed she could come to care for him, as well.
She chose that moment to shout and wave, jerking him back to his immediate surroundings. “We’re here. Let the herd settle.”
Steven reined to a halt and rested his hands on the pommel. A spring-fed pond about twice the size of a large settler’s cabin glistened in the sunshine. A creek ran out the end closest to them and wended its way through the meadow. The cattle drifted toward the water, dipping their heads as they neared and stopping to drink their fill.
Leah trotted her horse around the rear of the herd and slowed as she neared him. “We made good time and didn’t lose a single head.”
Steven chuckled. “Not for a lack of trying on the part of that spotted cow and her calf.”
Leah’s laughter rang out, clear and full of quiet joy. “There always has to be one.” She dropped her reins on her horse’s neck. “I love this life! The blue sky, the green grass, the feel of a horse under me. I even love these ornery cattle.”
He grinned, her joy contagious. “I’m not sure I agree with the cattle, but the rest sounds good. I’ll miss it all if I leave.” The words slipped out before he’d realized it.
Shock swept across Leah’s features. Her arms fell to her sides, and then she reached for the reins and pivoted her horse to face him. “What do you mean? Are you planning to leave?”
If only he could take the words back—return to the earlier happiness. He’d ruined a perfect moment and caused her worry. But maybe it was better this way. It wouldn’t be fair to spring it on her if he should decide to take the position. “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so? What, exactly, does that mean?” Leah stared at him, her gaze steady, her eyes bright. Her smile trembled a bit. “You’re scaring me, Steven. What are you hiding?”
“Nothing. I’m simply working through some things and trying to make a wise decision.”
Her smile faded. “About leaving the ranch.” The words were flat, almost without expression, as though waiting for more and not sure how to process it.
Now Steven really wished he’d kept quiet, but he was in it too far to back out now. He couldn’t lie to Leah—wouldn’t lie to her. She deserved to know the truth, whatever it cost him. “Actually, possibly leaving the area.”
“Really. I see.” Her eyes met his for several seconds and then swung away. “I’d hoped that you and I—” Her voice choked. “I need to get back. We’ll talk on the way to the ranch.” She urged the animal into a fast walk.
Steven closed his eyes for an instant, then followed. “Will you let me explain?”
She kept her gaze trained straight ahead. “What is there to say? You’re moving away. I should have expected as much. When do you leave?”
He nudged his horse forward and bent over, grabbing her reins and hauling her horse to a stop. Somehow he must break through the frozen reserve she’d built and make her understand. “I didn’t say I was leaving, only that it’s a possibility.”
Leah yanked on her reins. “Let go of my horse, Steven.”
He tightened his grip. “Not until you listen to me. If I have to, I’ll haul you off that horse and hold on to you until you do.”
Her eyes widened. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Frustration boiled in Steven’s chest, and he released his hold on her reins and swung his leg over his saddle. “Won’t I, though?” His boots thudded as he landed. He dropped his horse’s reins on the ground and stalked around to where Leah sat unmoving.
Leah stared at him, then backed her horse a few paces. “All right. I’ll listen. You needn’t get so riled.”
He stopped one stride from her leg, his fingers itching to pull her from her horse and kiss her until she collapsed in his arms. If only he could tell her how he felt, but that wasn’t an option now.
Leah had just discovered she owned this ranch, and the last thing he wanted was for her to think he’d set his cap for her as a result. He’d be in the same position as Charlie. Living on a ranch that his wife owned and not having brought a thing to the marriage.
He needed to make something of himself—and that could only happen by accepting the promotion in La Grande. Even if he gave her the money he’d saved, would he ever be sure she valued him as much as the ranch?
He stood stiffly, legs spread shoulder width apart. “Fine, if you’re willing to actually listen. But how about you step down off that horse first?”
She hesitated for several long heart
beats, then slowly swung her leg over the saddle and stood by her horse, gripping the reins.
Steven wished this conversation had never started. Why hadn’t he kept quiet and left things as they were? He’d upset Leah before he’d made a firm decision about his future. “I’ve been offered a new position at the bank in La Grande. The vice president has been promoted to a bank in Pendleton, and the board asked me to take his place. It’s an opportunity for me to get ahead financially and an honor to be asked.”
There, he’d said it, but his mind went back to the six words she’d said moments ago. “I should have expected as much.” Why? What had he done to make her believe he’d leave?
Her silence almost unnerved him. “Leah?” He shifted his position so he could better see her expression. “Why did you say that earlier?”
She still didn’t look at him, but her lips pressed tight together before she finally spoke. “What?”
“That you should have expected as much. And what you said about hoping you and I … I’d like to know what you meant. Besides, I’m still thinking and praying about the job. What have I done to make you assume I’d leave?”
She kept her face averted. “Everybody leaves. I suppose I’d hoped you might be—” Her voice broke, and the silence lingered between them. “I care for you, Steven, but I guess I was wrong to allow myself to do so.”
Steven’s heart felt as though a lance had been plunged through it. It hadn’t occurred to him that she’d feel this way—that she’d lump him in the same camp as her mother and brother—even her father, for that matter, since the man had never really been there for Leah after her mother’s desertion.
Or that she might care for him. He’d never dared to hope, never thought he had a chance. Somehow he must help her to understand that he could never live off her inheritance.
“But it’s not the same thing, Leah. It’s a job offer. It’s not personal against you. In fact, if I go, it’s because I care about the future and want so much more for us both.” He shut his eyes and clenched his jaw as the words fell into the silence.
Not personal? Was that really true? If he took this job, wasn’t he trying to run to his future, hoping to make it more than it was now? Or was he running away from things that hurt or worried him, the same as her family had done? Wasn’t that being as much of a coward as the people who’d left a young girl to fend for herself?
She turned her head and met his gaze. Sorrow and confusion shone from her expression. “Your future.” She nodded slowly. “Then you should take the job and go. I’m sure that would be best.”
He held out his hand, willing her to take it, willing her to truly listen with her heart.
Leah backed away. She gripped the saddle horn and swung aboard. Keeping her face averted, she kicked her gelding in the side, taking off down the trail at a hard gallop, leaving only the sound of hoofbeats ringing in Steven’s ears.
Leah didn’t know whether to cry or scream, or maybe do both, one after the other. Why was she surprised by Steven’s news? She’d meant it when she’d said she expected as much. Nobody in her life could truly be counted on. They all had their own selfish needs that excluded her, and the sooner she came to accept that, the better off she’d be.
Except for Millie and Buddy. Those two dear people had never let her down. A shiver ran across her skin. If anything ever happened to either of them, she wasn’t sure how she’d live through it.
But Steven … she’d come to believe he appreciated the ranch, that he’d settled in and wanted to be her friend, maybe even more than a friend. She’d been foolish to allow her heart to dream where Steven was concerned. Dreaming only opened a person’s heart to hurt and loss.
She leaned over her gelding’s mane, relishing the wind in her face and the rhythm of the horse’s body beneath her. If it were possible and it wouldn’t kill her horse, she’d let him run like this for hours, until some of the tension eased from her muscles.
But too many other dangers lurked, like gopher holes that could snap a horse’s leg and send her sailing through the air. She slowed to a controlled canter, wondering if Steven had followed her fast pace but refusing to look. She truly hoped not. All she wanted was to figure out what she really felt and what, if any, course of action to take.
Leah let out a shuddering breath. This situation was out of her hands. If Steven chose to leave, there was nothing she could do to stop him. And if he stayed, she’d always wonder if the next opportunity that presented itself would lure him away.
Charlie shaded his eyes against the late afternoon sun, wondering at the fast pace of the rider racing toward the ranch. It appeared to be Leah’s horse, and his heart jumped to his throat. Had an accident befallen the girl, or Tom or Harding? He strode toward the barn. Time to saddle up. He peered toward the rider again only to see her slow her mount, then in another dozen yards or so, pull down to a walk.
He heaved a sigh, then stopped and waited. She’d be here soon enough—at least before he could throw a saddle and bridle on his horse one-handed. Maybe she was simply enjoying the thrill of a fast horse, but somehow he didn’t think so. He could make out her face now, and she didn’t look happy. Hadn’t she taken a herd of cattle to the pasture near the spring with Harding’s help? What happened to the man? That fella better not have laid a hand on his girl.
He walked back to the house and climbed the steps to the porch, shading his eyes again. Looked like Harding was bringing up the rear, far behind Leah, at least by a quarter mile. She had a bee in her bonnet, or he wasn’t Charlie Pape.
That Harding fella had turned into a right good worker, even if he was a banker. Leah and Harding had never said a word about the man’s occupation, but Charlie saw him ride his horse out of here every morning in his fancy duds and decided to follow him one day. Charlie considered giving the man his walking papers after that, but then he broke his arm and thought better of it.
Besides, he’d come to realize Harding was nothing at all like old man Hunt, who ran the bank with an iron rod. He’d quarreled with the bank president a few years ago when he’d asked for a loan. The skinflint knew Charlie owned the ranch, but he wouldn’t loan him a dime without seeing the deed.
Charlie had stormed out, swearing he’d never darken the door of that place again. That’s why he’d been so irate when Leah asked about a loan. He’d never take money from that bank even if he could find the deed.
He sure wished Mary had told him where she’d put it afore she went off and left him. She’d promised him she’d give it to him and make sure it was in his name. Many a time he’d wanted to make this place better. He’d smarted with shame when Leah asked if he’d sign the loan papers, and he had to say no.
But he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth—that her ma owned the ranch and didn’t love him enough to share it with him. Even after he’d loved and cared for her child like she was his own. Not that he’d change that part of his life. Leah was his girl. He loved her so much it liked to kill him to turn her down when he knew she was right. The ranch needed help—and a man committed to work, not one who drank himself under the table.
He waited, watching Leah ride closer and studying her face. Yep, shore enough, she looked upset. He leaned against a porch post. Just like her ma in that regard. Her emotions showed bright as a summer day and no mistake.
As she walked her horse past the house toward the barn with no sign of slowing or speaking, Charlie straightened from his position and took a step forward. “What happened to Harding?”
The big sorrel gelding took three more strides before Leah pulled him to a halt, her shoulders stiff and her back rigid. “I have no idea.” She didn’t turn her head, but her words were clear as spring water.
“Uh-huh. So you left him behind, that it?”
“He knows the way home. There’s no reason for me to drag along beside him.”
“You were in some kind of hu
rry to get here. Runnin’ that horse pretty hard for a distance. You coulda broke his leg or taken a bad fall. We can’t afford to lose any stock due to carelessness.”
She half turned in her saddle, her voice soft. “It’s my horse, Pa, and I know what I’m doing.”
Irritation flared, and Charlie stepped to the edge of the porch. “I ain’t gonna argue about this, Daughter. The stock on this ranch are my responsibility. That one happens to be a valuable cow horse, and we don’t need him lamed by bein’ foolish.”
Leah yanked the horse’s head and booted him in the flank, bringing him around to face Charlie. “You got that wrong, Pa. The stock on this ranch are my responsibility. I know what I’m doing and don’t need to be lectured.”
Charlie gaped and blinked, working to understand what she’d said. “Since when do you speak to your father that-a way, missy?” His voice rose a notch, but he didn’t care. Leah had better change her tone and show some respect.
The door behind him banged open, and Tom strode out of the house. “What’s all the yelling about?”
Leah ignored her brother and fixed her gaze square on Charlie. “Since I found out I’m the legal owner of this ranch, that’s when.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Tom felt as though he’d been caught in some kind of bad dream that suddenly turned into a comedy. And wouldn’t you know it, that Harding fella had to ride up and butt in again, right when he wasn’t wanted. What had his sister said about owning the ranch?
“What’s wrong with you, Leah? You know this ranch belongs to Pa.” Tom stared at his father’s stony face, wondering why he hadn’t replied. “And someday it’s going to be mine. Right, Pa?”
His father’s eyes were fixed on Leah, and the color had drained from his face.
Leah didn’t so much as look at Steven Harding as he drew to a halt nearby.
Dreaming on Daisies: A Novel (Love Blossoms in Oregon Series Book 3) Page 23
