Still, I had Jendrish. And I had managed to develop a few close friendships. That's what got me through most days. That's what helped keep me sane and keep me from feeling like I'd made a horrible mistake – the most horrible mistake of my life.
But now that I was on an entirely different planet, there was no easy fix for that kind of mistake.
I cared for Jendrish. A lot. It was crazy given how little time we'd actually known one another, but there was something about him that I'd never found in another man I'd been with. At least, in no human man I'd ever been with. After a particularly bad and abusive relationship, I'd thought that I'd closed myself off to love. At least until I had my house in order and was well on my way toward achieving my goals. But Jendrish had fallen out of the sky and into my life – literally – and had changed a great deal about my thinking. And my life.
As thankful as I was to have him in my life and to be a part of his, it didn't change the fact that I was lonely. I wandered around the halls of this amazing palace, studied the art and culture of the Optorion people, spent a lot of time on that strange, yet beautiful beach just outside – but I did all of those things alone. I wanted to share these new and amazing experiences with Jendrish, but his duties kept him away from me most of the time.
“Are you okay, m'lady?”
I turned and gave a small start. I'd been so lost in my head, thinking about all of my problems, that I nearly having forgotten that Ynora was still there.
“Sorry, Ynora,” I said, giving her a weak smile. “Just sort of caught up in my head again.”
She smiled and nodded as if she understood. And given the amount of time she spent with me, she probably did. Ynora was about the closest thing I had to a best friend on Optorio. She was part of the household staff, but she was more than that to me. She took care of me. Looked after me. Was always there to be a sounding board or to offer up some insight or piece of wisdom.
I'd spent a lot of time with Ynora and genuinely enjoyed her company. She was very smart, witty, easy to talk to, and like seemingly all Optorion women – absolutely gorgeous. She was tall and trim, her body lithe and athletic. She had that Optorion pale skin and hair that was a soft, violet color and fell nearly to her waist. I had to admit that I felt like a bit of an ugly duckling next to her. But she never made me feel anything less than beautiful, always going on about how beautiful I was – though I didn't necessarily believe her, it still made me feel a bit better.
“What is troubling you, m'lady?” she asked.
I looked at her and grinned. “The fact that you keep calling me m'lady,” I said. “It's Riley. And I'd feel a whole lot better if you'd just call me that.”
I saw a spot of color rise in her cheeks. “But that isn't proper. You're to be queen and calling you by your given name is a little too – familiar.”
“You're my friend, Ynora,” I said. “You can't be too familiar with a friend. Call me Riley. Please?”
“I will do my best. But I make no promises,” she said and smiled. “Now, what's really troubling you?”
I shrugged. “The usual,” I replied. “Just missing Jendrish. He's gone so much – it's silly. I know he's busy and has many duties that take up his time and attention... ”
She nodded. “He does have much to do as a king,” she said softly. “But, pardon me for speaking out of turn, but I believe one of those duties should be attending to you. Making sure you're taken care of and not feeling so alone.”
I gave her a grateful smile. “Sometimes I feel like such a needy girl.”
“You are not though,” Ynora replied. “I can't imagine he understands what it must be like for you. You're so far away from your home. On a new world entirely. This has to be so strange and so powerfully overwhelming for you.”
“It is,” I admitted. “I try to be strong though. Try to not make it a big deal. He's got enough to worry about right now. But yeah, it's hard. Not that I had much of a life back on Earth, but at least I was in familiar surroundings. Among familiar people.”
“You should let him see that. You must not feel the need to be strong, m'la – Riley,” she said and smiled as she caught herself. “Make him understand how difficult this is for you.”
“I'm not so sure it would change much,” I said. “He's so focused on being the king.”
“I can tell that he's a good man,” she said. “And from what I have seen, I know he will be a good king. I don't know him very well on a personal level, but I can see that he cares for you. I can tell that he wants to make you happy. I have no doubts that if he knew how much you're struggling, that he would do everything in his power to make it right.”
I sighed. “I just don't want to be a bother.”
“If he truly loves you, nothing you can say or do would be a bother, Riley.”
I looked at her and Ynora favored me with a kind, compassionate expression. She was so good to me. I crossed to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. At first she was a little stiff and hesitant but then gradually warmed up and embraced me in return. One thing I'd learned in my time on Optorio was that they were not an overly demonstrative of physically affectionate people. They weren't the kind of people who seemed particularly fond of PDA's. But I was going to change that – at least, among the people I felt were part of my inner circle.
Eventually, I stepped back and wiped away the tears that had welled in my eyes. I wasn't much for crying or letting myself feel – or appear – vulnerable, but I felt like I could be myself around Ynora. I felt like I could let down my guard and it would be okay.
“I feel so fortunate to have you in my life, Ynora,” I said. “Thank you for being such a good friend to me.”
She smiled. “No thanks is necessary, Riley,” she said. “I value your friendship as well. Very much so.”
The door to our chambers opened and Jendrish walked in. He was limping and wincing as he walked, but he smiled at us.
“Am I interrupting?” he asked.
Ynora blushed and bowed her head. “Of course not, your Majesty,” she said. “I was just leaving.”
She shot me a meaningful look – one I interpreted to mean that she thought I should talk to him about everything we'd talked about. But I was worried about Jendrish in that moment. He looked tired and he looked injured. But the fact that he was able to walk in under his own power told me it probably wasn't too serious.
I gave Ynora a small smile and a nod. If it seemed appropriate, I would bring it up. Maybe. She departed the room without another word, softly closing the door behind her. I looked at Jendrish and smiled, all of the warm feelings I got whenever I saw him flooding my body. It had been eight months, but I still got butterflies in my stomach when I saw him. He was a genuinely beautiful man.
“Welcome home,” I said and smiled.
He returned my smile and looked at me. And then his eyes shifted to the table I'd had set up.
“What's all this?” he asked.
“I took the liberty of putting together a small, intimate dinner,” I said. “Just for the two of us.”
He gave me a smile filled with warmth and even a hint of gratitude. “It looks wonderful,” he said. “Thank you.”
Unable to stop myself, I rushed over and threw my arms around Jendrish and squeezed him tight. He winced and groaned softly, making me take a step back. He gave me a weak smile, but I could see the pain in his features.
“Rough day at the office?” I asked.
Chapter Three
Jendrish
“And you didn't think to mention this to me – why?”
Riley stood before me, her arms crossed, and an expression on her face that was both concerned and angry all at the same time. Humans were so emotive and expressive – it was something I was still getting used to.
“I didn't want you to worry.”
And that was the truth. I knew that telling Riley that I was participating in the raids would only upset and concern her. They were dangerous. I knew that and I assumed the risk
s going in. Nobody, not Vink and not even Riley were going to prevent me from taking part in the raids I ordered.
I winced as I took a seat at the table she had prepared and looked at the lavish feast she'd laid out. Riley had obviously gone to a lot of trouble to put this together – a fact that I appreciated. But as I looked at her, still standing in the same spot, arms still crossed, jaw set, and eyes narrowed, I wasn’t sure I was going to get a chance to indulge in our intimate little dinner.
“This looks wonderful,” I said, smiling and trying to shift the conversation. “I appreciate you going to all of this trouble.”
She sighed and sat down at the table across from me. Grabbing the bottle of wine, she poured a glass for me and then for herself.
“I thought we could use a little alone time,” she said.
I picked up my glass and raised it to her – the light blue fluid inside sparkling in the candlelight. “I think you're right.”
She raised her glass in return, but didn't smile. “Don't think I'm not still pissed, Jendrish,” she said. “You're not getting out of this that easily.”
I took a sip of my drink and smiled. I figured she wasn't going to let it drop that easily – but I'd hoped she would.
“There is really nothing to be concerned with, Riley,” I said. “I'm fine. I promise you.”
“Then why did you look like you were going to scream like a little girl when I hugged you?”
My grin was rueful. “A few bumps and bruises. Nothing more.”
“What happened?” she asked and leaned back in her seat.
Riley took a sip of her wine and I could tell by the look in her eye that she wasn't going to let up until she got the story out of me. I was tired, sore, and hungry – and looking at a feast that included all of my favorites spread out before me, I grew even hungrier. But until she was satisfied, I knew there would be no partaking in such a fine meal.
So I filled her in on the details of the evening's raid. At least, most of the details. I left out the part about being ambushed by one of the rebels in hiding. I downplayed it as simply getting hit during the firefight. I tried to assure her that it wasn't a big deal. Because truthfully, it wasn't. When I was done speaking, I took a sip of my wine and could see the look of shock on her face.
“So, you're telling me that you got shot?” she asked. “Going on some stupid raid you didn't tell me about?”
I shrugged. “To be honest, I did not think it a big deal, Riley,” I said. “Most of the time, nothing happens. The rebels give up without a single shot fired.”
“Most of the time?” she pressed. “And how many of these things have you gone on?”
I shrugged again. “I do not know. A few.”
She shook her head and her face darkened with anger. “And you never once thought to tell me that you were running around out there in the middle of the night, putting yourself in harm's way?”
I sighed. “What good would telling you serve?” I asked. “You would only worry.”
“And apparently with good reason,” she said, her voice rising. “Don't you think I have a right to know?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but then closed it again. I didn't know what to say to that. I was a soldier and I did my job. I wasn't somebody who was used to relationships and having to be answerable to somebody.
“If we're going to be together and I'm going to be your queen, Jendrish,” she said, “you can't shut me out. You can't make decisions like these on your own. And you certainly can't go running off and throw yourself into the middle of a battle. Not only do I need you, but you're a king and your people need you.”
I set my wine glass back down. “As I told Vink, I am a king, yes. But I have no desire to be a king who thinks himself above the common soldier,” I said. “I refuse to be a king who is unwilling to make the same sacrifices I would ask of others.”
“That's not the way this works, Jendrish,” she said. “As the king of Optorio, you have an obligation to your people. And that obligation can only be met if, you know, you're alive.”
I stood up and walked away from the table, standing at the railing of our chamber's balcony with my back to Riley. I felt myself growing upset and I needed to calm down. I did not like it when Vink questioned my reasoning for participating in the raids and I did not like it now that Riley was doing it as well. I did not enjoy the feeling of being told what to do or how to rule.
In my brief time on the throne, far too many people thought to impose their views upon me. Far too many people thought they knew better and wanted to have their say in how I ruled. It didn't sit well with me at all. I was young and inexperienced, yes, but I had a vision and my own thoughts on what was best for Optorio.
“You need not lecture me on my obligations,” I said, my voice cold. “I know all too well what my obligations are.”
I didn't hear her move, but she was suddenly standing behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my neck. I winced as she squeezed me and she let me go with a quickly murmured word of apology. Instead, she leaned against the railing next to me. I looked at her and saw that there really was nothing but love and concern in her eyes.
She reached out and took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I'm sorry, Jendrish,” she said softly. “I know it's not my place. I'm just worried about you. You're all I have here and if something ever happened to you – ”
Hoping it wasn't too awkward, I pulled her into a tight embrace – I was still getting used to the human concept of physical expressions of affection.
“Nothing is going to happen to me,” I said. “You need not worry.”
“You can't promise that,” she said.
She was right, I couldn't. “I am taking every precaution. At Vink's insistence, I am wearing a state of the art body armor. I am the last one through the door and I am very well protected.”
“Fat lot of good that did you tonight,” she said. “You got yourself shot, Jendrish.”
“And yet, here I stand,” he replied. “As you say, none the worse for wear.”
Her laughter was soft, but I could tell that the icy demeanor she'd had earlier was melting. She wasn't happy with the fact that I was going out on the raids, but I thought that she was at least beginning to accept my need to do so. At least, I hoped she was beginning to accept it.
“I am sorry I did not tell you before,” I said. “I honestly did not think about it. I was trained to be a soldier and to do my job. But I understand now that I have to take you into account as well. And I will do my best to be more conscious of that fact.”
“Thank you,” she said and looked up at me. “And I'm sorry for yelling at you about it. I was just so worried. When I saw you in pain, I – ”
I leaned down and kissed her. The last of her anger melted away as I felt her body begin to heat up. Her hands ran up and down my body as we kissed and I pulled her tighter to me – wincing as I did so. We broke our embrace and laughed. This was going to be difficult. But she stirred that fire within me and I felt my need for her rising.
“We just need to go a little – slower,” I said, grinning from ear to ear.
“We can do that.”
She stepped forward and kissed me again, her hands working at my belt. I felt myself growing stiff as she reached down and took hold of me, drawing out a soft moan of pleasure. She moved her hand up and down, squeezing me tight. Being with her was so different than being with an Optorion woman. Unlike humans, we weren't quite as focused on the sensual pleasures of the body. It was more – businesslike, I supposed you could say.
Mating was for procreation, not for recreation. But Riley was teaching me something entirely new – something entirely different. And I had to admit, I was enjoying it immensely.
“I fear dinner is going to get cold,” I said, my breath somewhat ragged.
“Then we'll eat it cold,” she purred. “Later.”
I leaned down and kissed her again. She melted into my arms, so I picked her up
and carried her back across the balcony and into our bed chambers. I was suddenly perfectly content with eating dinner cold.
Chapter Four
Veshna
“It pains me to see you in this – place – father,” I said.
He sighed and shook his head, looking grim. It wasn't an expression I was accustomed to seeing on his face. My father, Varnu Morkata, had been an important man. A powerful man. As the Premier of Optorio's Regent Council, he was in essence, the de facto king. All decisions ran through him. Oh, they took a vote on matters for the sake of appearances, but the Council easily bent to his wishes.
But then Jendrish and his soldiers had arrived and upset everything. Worst of all, he'd upset my own plans.
“It pains me to be here, son,” my father replied.
In the months he'd been in prison, he'd withered. He had always been a large, vibrant, and vital man. But now, he was shrunken. Smaller. Weaker. That vibrancy that marked who he was had dissipated. And it made me sick to look at. He wasn't fit to lead our House, let alone lead Optorio.
Most who didn't know him defined him by his seemingly good nature and compassion. Those who knew him though, knew a very different Varnu. He was am ambitious man with a dark, cruel side. He was marked by his greed as well as his unusual taste in foods – and women.
It had been his idea to begin importing women from offworld to force into the sex trade. Personally, I'd been skeptical of it at first. After all, what Optorion man desired alien women? Other than Bazarok, the former king who abdicated his throne, that was. Though, I supposed he'd piqued the interests and desires of other Optorion men. He'd made them wonder what it would be like to be with an alien women. My father had simply taken advantage of that interest.
And it had proved to be one of the most lucrative businesses my family had ever engaged in. My father had accrued a fortune. And fortunately for him, I'd been smart enough to think ahead and hide that fortune in various financial institutions on Optorio and offworld. Though Jendrish and his goons had seized the assets of my family – and those of the other Regents – the bulk of the Morkata fortune was still intact.
Mated to a Bear (Legends of Black Salmon Falls Book 3) Page 45
