The House of Impossible Loves

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The House of Impossible Loves Page 30

by Cristina Lopez Barrio


  When they said good night on the second-floor landing, Isidro put a hand on Santiago’s shoulder and said: “I’m here for you, kid.” He sighed. “If only you’d been born in Venezuela . . .”

  The light in the stairwell went out, but Santiago had no intention of fixing it. He took the stairs two at a time, traversing blades of moonlight as they penetrated open windows. He arrived home ready to track Úrsula Perla Montoya through the courtyard. This time it was easy; she was in her kitchen with a man in his early forties. He was uncorking a bottle of wine, and she, wearing her turquoise robe, was taking two glasses out of a cabinet as they chatted rather intimately, Santiago thought. Santiago picked up a knife and reopened the cut on his finger, but blood was not what confirmed this was real. Instead, his ears, the back of his neck, his chest, all began to burn as his head filled once again with green-eyed traitors. Then he noticed the cake crowning a white porcelain plate on the counter and decided to take it to her.

  Úrsula opened the door with her mass of chestnut waves falling over her shoulders and down her back. The two looked wordlessly at each other, sensing each other’s heat.

  “Now will you tell me what genie should never take pity on my eyes and why?”

  “I’m busy, but thanks for the cake,” she said, snatching it from him. “Good night.”

  Úrsula Perla Montoya walked down the hall to the kitchen, knotted by an anxiety so powerful it caused her hands to shake.

  “What’s this?” the man asked when she walked in with the cake.

  “A nice neighbor made it for me.”

  “It smells delicious. Cut me a piece—I’m hungry.”

  “No.” Her cheeks burned. “It’s not at its best yet. It has to sit until tomorrow.”

  “Then I’ll come back again tomorrow.” He had taken Úrsula by the waist and was whispering in her ear.

  “Take the wine and wait for me in the living room. I’ll be there as soon as I put this away.”

  “Hurry.” He kissed her on the lips.

  Alone with the cake, Úrsula recalled how Santiago had caressed the ingredients—the egg yolks, the flour, the sugar, the zest—how he had smelled them, kissed them; how he had mixed them with his hands, the dough hanging from his nipple, his lips parted, drops of sweat licking his brow. She was aroused by the love that went into its preparation, aroused by the love now inside, there for her to eat. She took a few crumbs and savored them slowly, pressing them to the roof of her mouth. The taste of Santiago was on her tongue. She pinched off a bigger piece, then another, spiced with a touch of cinnamon, alive, smooth, and a barely perceptible aroma of sugar and rain inflamed her breasts.

  The man’s voice interrupted her tasting, calling out to her from the living room. Úrsula covered the cake with a tea towel and left the kitchen.

  “You were taking too long.” He was settled into the loveseat.

  “I couldn’t find the right container.”

  Úrsula sat beside him and took the glass of wine he offered but drank not a drop. The man pulled her toward him and began to talk about the book he was translating from Greek. Úrsula was not the least bit interested in his problems with verbs or stanzas or the musicality of poetry. She had chosen him almost by accident; her most recent novel, Afternoon Passions on the Divan, was selling well, and her editor was pressuring her to write another. Úrsula needed a fling, and it was then she saw him in the library. They had gone to university together but lost track of each other after graduation. He was attractive. He had been living in Greece for five years, the last two on a small island where he grew pear tomatoes and translated nature poetry. Úrsula thought his sun-toasted face and Adonis profile might inspire a Greco-Latin passion filled with Cupid’s arrows and demigod lovers. But right then the taste of her neighbor, kept safe in her mouth, was the only thing to inspire passion, even if it was cannibalistic.

  “You’re not listening,” the man complained. “Your mind is elsewhere.”

  “I’m sorry. I was translating Ferdowsi until late and am exhausted.”

  He stroked her hair, recited verses from The Odyssey, and tried to kiss her, but Úrsula’s lips were shut tight.

  “I said I’m tired. Let’s do this another day. I really need to sleep.”

  She said goodbye with two quick kisses on the cheek and headed into her room, sensing it would rain that night. The smell of mud and grass filled her house. It slipped in through the open windows and advanced on invisible steps. Úrsula looked in her dresser mirror, opened the neckline of her robe a little further, loosened the belt to show a slip of belly, lifted her arms, put her palms together, and shook her torso just as her grandmother had taught her. She was ready to find him now.

  Santiago Laguna, his elbows on the bedroom windowsill, naked in that starry and noxious night, shook with rage when Úrsula appeared, fanning herself with peacock feathers.

  “Can’t sleep?” she asked, leaning on her windowsill with the air of an empress.

  “I don’t want to dream.”

  “I can’t sleep either.” She ran her tongue over her lips, the roof of her mouth, and rows of insects seemed to march up and down Santiago’s body.

  “I thought I saw you had company.”

  “An old friend, but he had to go.” She closed her fan, resting it in the palm of one hand. “I didn’t let him taste the cake.”

  “Good. It was just for you.” Santiago’s voice cracked and his knees buckled as his anger gave way.

  “That’s what I thought. I loved it.”

  “Tomorrow I’ll make cinnamon cake and palmiers—a family specialty.”

  “Do you come from a family of bakers?”

  “No.” He smiled. “I’m the only male in a family of cursed females.”

  “So the men aren’t cursed?”

  “No, we are, too.”

  “And as a cursed man, what is it you do?”

  “I tell stories in cafés.”

  “A profession right out of The Arabian Nights.”

  “Would you like me to tell you a story?”

  “I’d rather you tell me about your family, what sort of curse you suffer from.”

  “I’ll tell you how it all began so you can better understand.”

  “Come over, then. We can get comfortable on the couch.”

  The moon had dropped in the sky, balancing on clotheslines that crisscrossed the inner patio, and come to rest on her face. The neckline of her robe formed a V.

  “Don’t move,” he begged. “I’ll tell you the story here.”

  “All right.”

  “Late in the sixteenth century, in a cottage along the coastal lagoon of Valencia lived a couple who dreamed of one day having children. For years they asked God to bless them with his grace, but the woman was now over forty and had yet to conceive. Their neighbors felt sorry for the couple, with no one to help them in their fields or bring joy to their home through laughter and games.

  “One spring morning the farmer’s wife, a robust, cheerful woman, disappeared from the cottage without a trace. She returned a few days later, telling her husband she had been to a beach where an old woman sold her a spell to get pregnant. Nine months later, the farmer’s wife gave birth to a lovely little girl. The neighbors heard the news with some suspicion. How could a woman that old, that unattractive, have had such an extraordinarily beautiful child? It was only when the girl turned one that they denounced the case to the Holy Inquisition and the extent of her beauty led to disaster. The farmer’s wife was accused of having fornicated with the sea in a satanic ritual. The proof was irrefutable, for the girl possessed all of her progenitor’s attributes: her eyes were the color of water, her hair like the darkest deep sea, her skin as pure as the froth that forms in waves, and her lips coral red.

  “They burned the farmer’s wife at the stake for being a witch, but though the farmer was judged, he was found innocent. He had fallen prey to his wife’s cunning; she had cheated on him with nature. The problem of what to do with the child arose.
Upon seeing her, no one wanted to order her death, even if she was born out of witchcraft. They agreed the girl would be sent to a convent and raised under the watchful eye of the nuns. Yet no religious order would accept a girl with a background such as hers. They therefore wrapped the girl in a scapular and handed her back to her father. Having succumbed to drinking, he locked her in the stable with the calves.

  “A gentleman dressed in fine attire came to the cottage a few months later.

  “‘I’ll pay one silver coin if you let me see the daughter of the sea,’ he said to the farmer.

  “The farmer stood perplexed. He went to the stable, unchained the girl from a post, washed her face, and showed her to the gentleman. The sight of such beauty, which had only grown over time, satisfied him so that he paid two silver coins, not one. From then on, men and women would come to the coastal lagoon just to see the half-human, half-marine creature. The farmer squandered the money on wine and women, while the girl—whom he called Mar or Sea in public but who was in fact baptized Olvido—grew wild with the stable animals. One evening when a duchess was admiring the girl, now twelve, she pointed to the woman’s magnificent yellow silk dress and spoke these words: ‘Lanai ursala.’

  “The duchess paid the farmer one more coin than agreed because the daughter of the sea had spoken to her in the language of the waves.

  “Around this time, a handsome young linguist from Castile traveled to the coastal lagoon and, one clear night, came upon the girl hiding in tall grass.

  “‘I’m looking for the girl who knows the language of the sea,’ he said warmly, so as not to startle her.

  “The girl pointed to her chest and replied: ‘Mar.’

  “Do you know if her cottage is this way?”

  “The girl reached up to the biggest star burning in the sky and said: ‘Ursala.’

  “Her face was covered in dried dung. She was wearing rags that stank of the stable, and one of her legs was bloody, as if she had escaped from a trap. Feeling sorry for this creature, the linguist pulled a handkerchief out of his frock coat and wiped her face in the light of the moon. She reveled in his touch through the silk handkerchief.

  “‘You are, without a doubt, the daughter of the sea,’ the linguist said, admiring her beauty.

  “She again pointed to her chest and repeated her name.

  “‘Speak to me in the language of the waves,’ he begged.

  “The girl pointed to the moon and said: ‘Saluma.’

  “‘Saluma?’ the linguist repeated, confused, as the girl smiled and pointed again at the moon.

  “It was then the young linguist realized the truth: the girl spoke not the language of the waves but one she had invented, since no one had ever taught her a civilized tongue.

  “For more than four years, the linguist taught her language and the ways of men while the farmer was at the tavern or the brothel.

  “On the evening of her sixteenth birthday, the captain of a pirate ship came to the cottage determined to learn the secret to outwitting storms. The girl replied in perfect Spanish that she was unable to help for she did not know the language of the waves; her father was not the sea but that farmer who tried to con him. The captain beat the farmer mercilessly. The girl did not treat her father’s wounds, did not help him to bed, did not give him water to drink, did not answer the question that escaped his throat as he lay dying—‘Who taught you to speak, you traitorous bitch?’ She simply waited for him to die. When the linguist arrived for their lesson, she told him what happened and they immediately left for Castile.

  “Once there, the linguist found work at a school and the girl completed her education with piano and sewing lessons.

  “By the time she reached legal age and was introduced to society with her real name, the girl’s beauty had surpassed all reason and desire. On her birthday, as asked, the linguist gave her a yellow silk dress and, thanks to acquaintances, secured an invitation to celebrate at a ball at the Duke of Monteosorio’s palace. There the girl was captivated by the sumptuous furnishings, not to mention the jewels worn by the women dancing in the salon, for they shone brighter than the stars. And so, when Alonso Laguna, the duke’s son, fell in love with her at first sight and proposed, Olvido accepted.

  “Upon hearing the news, desperate, the linguist confessed his love. Olvido threw herself crying into his arms and kissed him passionately. They made love all night long, but the next morning, when the linguist wanted her to write to break her engagement, she refused. ‘I’ll marry him,’ she said, ‘but you’ll come and live with us. That way our love will go on and we’ll be rich.’

  “The wedding took place at the duke’s palace a few weeks later. A great banquet was prepared as well as a majestic dance that lasted until morning. The most illustrious citizens were in attendance, noblemen, even an envoy sent by the king to congratulate the couple on his behalf. During the celebration, Olvido could not forget the dark strands of hair that fell over the linguist’s brow, his firm chest peeking out through the flounce of his shirt, his cognac-stained lips as he said goodbye. When the party was over, she slipped out of her nuptial bed and galloped to the house she had shared with the linguist only to be met by the dark of night, for he had left forever.

  “Time, the tyrant of life, gave Olvido ten years of dances, banquets, and dresses, not to mention a little girl. Perhaps guided by nostalgia, she named her María del Mar. Perhaps also guided by nostalgia, one spring morning when her husband was away on business, Olvido felt the urge to travel to her birthplace on the coastal lagoon. From behind the safety of carriage curtains, she peered out at rice fields misty in the dawn, stocky farmers, and the blue, frothy face of her father. When the carriage stopped in front of the cottage, she got out and walked to the stable. She missed feeling wet calf snouts on her legs, missed hearing their soft, sad mooing. Although the stable was filled with the half-light of sunset, she saw a man curled up in a corner. Strewn around were empty bottles of cognac. He was wearing a farmer’s pants, and his chest was covered with sores and parasites.

  “‘Get off my property,’ she ordered.

  “‘Salima, ursula,’ the man croaked.

  “Olvido searched for the vagabond’s eyes amid strands of greasy hair and discovered they belonged to the linguist.

  “‘What have I done to you, my love? What have I done?’ she lamented, taking him into her arms.

  “‘Salima, ursula,’ he repeated, his eyes glazed.

  “Olvido Laguna tore a cross on a chain from around her neck and threw it onto the ground.

  “‘I,’ she declared in a burial voice, ‘daughter of the sea, renounce the God that robbed me of my mother and ask Satan to curse my name and that of my descendants. May my daughter’s honor be sullied, her heart lost to a man who will break it—and her daughter’s after that, and her daughter’s daughters. May a line of women suffer through the centuries everything that you, my love, have suffered for me. May this misfortune continue until the last drop of Laguna blood flows.’

  “Olvido never returned to Castile. Some years later fishermen found the linguist’s body on the beach, his face puffy from wine and his once dark eyes now inexplicably blue. Olvido’s body was never found. Some say she was taken by her father, the sea, and rests in a coral grave. Others say she was devoured by the devil, paying body and soul for her condemnation of love.”

  Úrsula’s empress manners slipped away as she listened to the story. Her eyes grew hazy and she forgot herself completely, and Santiago’s gaze embraced a silent ghost that seemed to have awakened against his will. To Úrsula, who had twisted her hair into a long braid, everything tasted of him: her lips, the moon, his words as they echoed across the courtyard.

  “That’s how it all began. If you liked my story, I can tell you another tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. I can tell you stories forever.”

  “You’ll be my Scheherazade. But remember—when I no longer like them, I’ll chop off your head.”

  “I’
ll take that chance.”

  “I must get to work. Good night.”

  Úrsula’s flesh had begun to shred with inspiration as she watched him, listened to his story, plotlines flying through the inner patio on ribbons of skin.

  “Can I watch you write until I’m tired enough to sleep?”

  “You’re asking permission now?”

  Santiago blushed.

  “You crawl into bed and I’ll sing you a lullaby my grandmother taught me.”

  Úrsula watched him walk away from the window and lie on the bed. The muezzin’s call to prayer softly filtered through the silence of the courtyard, reaching Santiago in a melancholy whisper. He closed his eyes. After two sleepless nights, he soon slipped into dreams.

  That night, however, Úrsula Perla Montoya did not sleep. Any fatigue was erased from memory as she gave herself, body and soul, to the frenzy of the quill. She wrote her heart’s desire before it reached her fingers, as her skin tattered to shreds with the pleasure of Santiago, even at a distance, as her emotions merged with her spirit, taking her to the greatest literary climax any man had ever given her, a climax that lasted for hours and hours.

  She wrote well past dawn, exhausting three pots of violet ink, staining her fingers, her face, her chest with rosettes of passion. Only when the sun left the Madrid sky did she have the strength to stop. She walked into the kitchen and ate a piece of cake, determined to keep Santiago inside her. Then, even though it was Sunday, she phoned her editor to say she had finally begun the novel and would be done quite soon. “It’ll be the best thing I’ve ever written,” she assured him. She hung up euphoric, analyzing the glory of her future success, humming the muezzin’s call, until, all of a sudden, as she lay in bed with one foot on the threshold of sleep, her stomach grew cloudy, felt empty, as if the cake had evaporated, leaving behind the unease of loss.

 

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