“I know, Stephanie. You have always been Miss Fixit, always so worried about people being nice to each other.” She stopped the shot at a still frame of Manuel and stared thoughtfully, then moved the image a few more frames forward.
“So? You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s not bad. It’s just, sometimes people don’t agree.”
“Well, why can’t you apologize?” I said.
It had taken me awhile to talk to her about it. When Guy and I first walked back into the teen club after Diana left, karaoke was starting, and Lauren was already up on the stage picking a song.
“C’mon, let’s you and me sing one!” Lauren had said, waving at me to come with her.
I hesitated. I was mad at her for what she’d done to Diana. I was mad at both of them.
“You do one, and I’ll go next,” I had said.
“C’mon, Steph, let’s do one together,” Lauren had insisted. I felt bad about staying at the teen club. When Diana left, I thought I should go after her. I felt like I was betraying her by staying with Lauren. But what Diana had done had embarrassed me too, and I didn’t want to leave.
So I had gotten up and followed Lauren up on stage, watching the way she tossed back her long hair when she picked up the microphone.
We had looked at the list of songs, and Lauren and I had picked Taylor Swift’s song “Sparks Fly.” Guy and Evan watched us. When we sang the words “Kiss me on the sidewalk,” we had started laughing and were kind of embarrassed. We ended up laughing the rest of the way through the song. It was a blast! I had left the stage feeling all flushed and excited.
“You guys have to do one too!” Lauren had said to the boys after we finished. They went up there, with Evan nervously straightening his collar (he wore his collar up, like a preppie) and Guy tossing his hair back several times. The two of them had decided on John Mayer’s song “Half of My Heart.”
The guys had messed up and forgotten the words even though they were printed right up on the screen, and we all started laughing.
We sat and watched a few other kids do karaoke. Then one girl started hogging the microphone, trying to do two songs in a row, and Josh had come up, taken the microphone, and turned off the speakers.
While that was happening, I had started thinking about the fact that I’d been so worried that Diana and Lauren would have a fight, and now they’d had one. It had happened. And now I needed to do something to help them make up. They couldn’t be fighting for the rest of our trip! I couldn’t imagine the painful silences in our tiny little room together.
So, anyway, now Lauren was sitting here editing some of the video she’d shot, and I was trying to convince her to apologize to Diana.
“I’m not going to apologize,” she said. “Not unless Diana apologizes first.”
“Why are you being so stubborn?”
Lauren shrugged. “I guess because I don’t think I was wrong.”
“You embarrassed her!”
“If I’d showed video of you singing ‘Aweemaway,’ would you have gotten mad?”
I twirled around in my chair again, thinking. “I would have been mortified but would have laughed it off.”
“See?”
“But Diana’s different.”
Lauren looked at me levelly. “Why do you care so much about her anyway?”
“I care the same about you. I’m going to try to get her to apologize to you too.”
“Like I said, if she apologizes first, I’ll apologize,” Lauren said.
The boys, who had been playing video games, came over and interrupted us. “Hey,” said Evan, “do y’all want to go to the ‘Movie Under the Stars’ that’s showing in a couple of nights? It’s Pirates of the Caribbean.”
“Sure,” I said.
Lauren picked up her camera. “Hey, I have an idea. Let’s wander around the ship and find interesting things to videotape. What if we found someone stowing away or something like that?”
“It would be easy to stow away on one of these ships,” said Evan. “You could go through the buffet line ten times a day, and no one would know. They don’t check your ID or anything.”
“Where would you sleep?” I asked.
“You could sleep out by the pool, on a lounge chair. Or maybe on one of the sofas you see sitting around,” said Evan.
“Where would you shower?” I said.
“Just go swimming every day,” said Guy.
“How would you get on board in the first place? They check your passport and everything,” Lauren pointed out.
“If you had a passport, I bet you could get on,” said Evan.
“I bet a lot of people try it,” said Guy. “Want to go searching for stowaways?”
“Now?” I hesitated. My heart started beating hard. The teen club would close in an hour. I was pretty sure Daddy and Uncle Ted were expecting us to stay in the club rather than wander around the ship.
“Yeah!” said Lauren. “I’ve been dying to try to find my way around.”
“I want to check out the rock-climbing wall,” said Evan. “What about you guys?”
I didn’t want to sound like a baby or a goody-goody and be the only one who didn’t want to leave the teen club. So when they got their stuff and got ready to leave, I did too.
As we were leaving, Josh came up to us. “You guys heading out? Were your parents going to come back for you or what?”
“No, they just said to come back to the room when we were ready,” Lauren said.
“Okay, cool. Take it easy; maybe I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.
“Let’s walk on the upper deck,” said Evan. We went up two flights of stairs and came out on the upper deck. As we stepped out into the open, the breeze blew our hair and plastered our shirts against our skin.
“Wow, look at the stars!” I said. They were brilliant, spread across the sky like bright diamonds. The movement of the water all around us created a constant wall of sound.
Evan was walking along with Lauren, and I was walking along with Guy.
I started asking Guy about what it was like to be diabetic.
“It’s a definite challenge,” he said. “I found out I had diabetes when I was seven. I had to start testing my blood sugar then. When you’re diabetic, your body doesn’t make its own insulin, so you have to give it to yourself.”
“Do you have to stick yourself?”
“Yes, but the needles are so tiny, you can barely feel it. It doesn’t hurt. You have to learn about blood sugar and what kinds of foods cause it to go up or down, and you have to test your blood sugar about five or six times a day.”
“What kinds of foods cause your blood sugar to go up?”
“Sweets and carbohydrates. Carbohydrates get metabolized into sugar, so you have to watch the carbohydrates you eat … like pizza or chips. Eating a lot of snack food isn’t good. One thing that’s really good for you if you’re diabetic is exercise. It burns up the glucose. But at the same time, you have to be careful not to let your blood sugar get too low.”
“Wow.” I hadn’t ever thought about having to watch so closely everything I ate and did. I thought about the times we had cheerleading practice and did back tucks until we were about to throw up. None of us worried about our blood sugar. It was a different way of living.
Guy shrugged. “When I was first diagnosed, I felt really sorry for myself. I thought, why did this have to happen to me? But you get used to it. If my blood sugar is high, I need to give myself more insulin. If my blood sugar is low, like after exercising, I need to eat or drink something with sugar in it. Like, I just sip Gatorade during soccer practice to keep my blood sugar from falling. I’m not going to let it keep me from doing stuff. I want to play Division I soccer in college, and I’m not going to give that up. I’m not going to let it beat me.”
“That’s great,” I said. I really admired him for that.
“And it’s kind of changed the way I think about the whole world. If I wanted to rebel
and not test myself, the only person I’d be hurting would be me. It made me grow up and take responsibility for myself faster. And I’ve noticed that sometimes I feel more protective of kids that are younger than me.”
I sneaked a look at him when he said that. I hadn’t met many boys who talked about responsibility. He had a softness and wistfulness to his face that I liked.
We walked around the ship and talked for an hour. The adults had gone to a show, and when the show let out, we saw some of the performers in their dance costumes. They were friendly and spoke with all sorts of different accents. By then it was close to our eleven-o’clock curfew, and so we had to say good-bye to the boys. Evan gave us a salute and said maybe they’d see us tomorrow at the teen club or around the boat. Guy said good-bye and then lightly touched my arm. I felt a little tingle when he did that.
When Lauren and I got back to the room, Diana was already curled up on her bunk, asleep. I tried to talk quietly so I wouldn’t wake her. We were kind of giggling about the boys, because Evan was such a mama’s boy. We had been kidding him and asking if his mom ironed his underwear.
What an amazing first day on the cruise! Except for Lauren and Diana’s fight, of course.
The next morning when I woke up, Lauren was still asleep and Diana was gone. I wondered if she’d gone to the buffet for breakfast, and I wanted to try and talk to her. So I got up quietly, got dressed, and tiptoed out.
When I got to the buffet, I looked around at the tables, and what did I see but Diana eating breakfast with Grammy Verra! I suddenly felt jealous. I realized they were both allowed to do whatever they wanted, but I felt a little strange. Diana wasn’t even Grammy Verra’s real granddaughter—but they were sitting together talking like they were best friends. I had always thought I was Grammy Verra’s favorite!
The buffet was overwhelming. There was every kind of breakfast cereal, bagel and muffin, and fruits of all kinds, just rows of them in all colors like rainbows. There was sausage and an omelette bar. There were pancakes and waffles. There were blintzes, and I didn’t even know what those were! Finally I got a plain omelette with cheese and joined Diana and Grammy Verra. I should have guessed what they’d be talking about: animals. Grammy Verra was telling Diana about her little dog, Botticelli, or Jelly for short.
“So, anyway, when Jelly wants a treat, he’ll stand up on his hind legs and move his short little front legs up and down like he’s begging,” Grammy was saying. “His eyes are big and brown, and they just implore you. It’s so adorable, how can I deny him anything?”
“Grammy’s dog is the most spoiled dog in the world,” I said as I put my tray down on the table. “She gives him everything he wants.”
“Well, and he’s very smart too. He knows at least twenty words,” Grammy said.
“He knows his name, as well as toy, walk, treat, out, down, sit, stay, …”
“Grammy, he never sits or stays,” I said. “He never does anything you tell him to do.”
“That’s just because he’s so smart. He’s too smart to be bossed around.”
“Too spoiled, you mean,” I said, laughing.
“He’s not going to like knowing that you talked about him like that, Stephanie!” Grammy teased. “You better be careful. He is my precious little boy, is what he is. I wish I could have brought him on the cruise. He keeps me company.”
“I know, Grammy. I’m just giving you a hard time about him.”
“Diana and I have been having some nice talks, haven’t we, Diana?” Grammy said. “I’m enjoying getting to know her better.”
“That’s great,” I said, feeling jealous again but smiling at Diana. She gave a small smile. I didn’t know whether it was sarcastic or not.
“She’s been telling me about her horse, Commanche,” Grammy went on.
“Well, he’s not my horse. He’s the horse I ride when I go to the barn,” Diana explained to Grammy. “I told her that Commanche sticks his head out when I come into the barn. He knows my walk,” said Diana.
“Isn’t that great when an animal knows us? It makes us feel good, doesn’t it?” Grammy said.
“Yeah!” Diana said.
She and Grammy both nodded and laughed. I told myself that Grammy was just trying to get to know Diana. And I knew Diana wasn’t close to her real grandparents. After that, Daddy and Lynn came and joined us, and then Aunt Carol and Uncle Ted and Luke, so we were all scooting over and making room for people to put their trays on the table, and the conversation was like a three-ring circus. Lauren was the only one who wasn’t there. I figured she was still sleeping. I was worried about what would happen when she and Diana saw each other.
“You girls better go claim spots by the pool before it gets too late,” Daddy said.
I stood up. “Okay, I’m going. Diana, want to come find a spot out by the pool?”
Diana shrugged. “I guess so.”
“We’re going to go to the quiet adult pool,” said Lynn. “You girls are welcome to sit with us or go to the young people’s pool and play games.”
“Young people’s pool!” I said excitedly.
When we got back to the room, Lauren lay with her face turned toward the wall while Diana and I put on our swimsuits.
“Want me to try to save a chair for you, Lauren?” I asked.
“Okay,” she mumbled.
Diana didn’t say anything.
It was a beautiful day, with blue skies above dotted with scattered clouds and the deep-green water surrounding us as far as we could see in every direction. When we looked over the edge of the deck, we could see the lacy, white foam spreading out behind the ship from the engines.
Diana and I claimed lounge chairs far enough away from the pool that we wouldn’t get splashed. I put a towel on the lounge chair on the other side of me for Lauren. I was nervous but also still mad that they weren’t speaking to each other.
I lay on my lounge chair and put on my suntan lotion. Mama let me get a new bikini that’s a hot-pink-and-yellow print, and I loved it. Diana was still wearing a faded navy-blue Speedo that she had worn for swim team last year. Lynn had offered to take her shopping for a new bathing suit, and Diana said she’d rather go to the barn. I wished I understood her!
“Good morning, this is your captain speaking” came a deep accented voice over the loudspeaker system. “Today we’re at sea, and we will be sailing at a speed of fourteen knots per hour. We should arrive at port in Grand Cayman by early tomorrow morning. It’s seventy-eight degrees on board today. In New York it’s thirty degrees. Enjoy your day at sea!”
“It’s hard to believe it’s so cold at home,” I said to Diana. “If it’s thirty degrees in New York, it’s probably somewhere in the forties in North Carolina.”
“The horses are probably wearing blankets in their stalls,” she said.
Now was my chance to talk to Diana about apologizing. I hesitated, then plunged ahead on. “Hey, Lauren said she’d apologize for showing the video of you last night if you apologize for telling about our conversation about Uncle Ted’s sayings.”
Diana shot me an angry look. “But you guys are the ones that talked about it.”
“I know, but we really didn’t want Uncle Ted to know. It was embarrassing when you did that.”
“He didn’t get mad.”
“He could’ve. And you don’t know if his feelings were hurt or not.”
Diana played with the fringe on her beach bag. “Lauren really embarrassed me. And she did it on purpose.”
“I think she did it because you hurt her feelings first,” I said. “If both of you just say you’re sorry, we can get on with our fabulous trip.”
Diana looked out into the distance for what seemed like a long time. “It just really hurt my feelings.”
“So now you know how it feels,” I said.
Diana drew a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll apologize if she apologizes.”
“Whew!” I drew my hand across my brow to show I’d been sweating it out. “That’s gre
at. It’s the right thing to do. So you’ll apologize when she comes out?”
“Yes.”
Evan and Guy came out then, and so we hung around with them. Diana was usually shy with boys, and today was no different. Guy and Evan were both kind of talking to me. I tried a couple of times to pull her into the conversation.
“So, Diana is the number-one girl on our cross-country team,” I told Guy. “She leaves the other girls in her dust.”
“No kidding; that’s cool,” Guy said.
Diana smiled nervously. “I like running.”
“I ran cross-country last year, but this year I played soccer. Still a boatload of running,” Evan said.
“Wait, Evan, we were talking about Diana,” Guy said. “So, tell us more about being on cross-country, Diana.”
I was so impressed. I had never seen a boy do that—shift attention to another person that way. I watched the way Guy sat forward and focused on Diana, and I thought, Wow, he’s a nice guy.
“Oh, I didn’t even want to do it at first,” Diana said. “My stepfather made me.”
“Your stepfather?” Guy asked. “That’s kind of cool.”
“Yeah. Then I started liking it.” Diana shrugged.
I was happy that Diana had said something good about Daddy. There was a time when I thought she never would.
A waiter came around with sodas and snacks.
“Did you see that guy over there?” Guy said to me. “He was at the teen club last night. He just tried to order a beer.”
We all watched as the waiter asked for the guy’s ID and then refused him service.
When Lauren finally came out, Diana glanced at her and then looked away, and Lauren at first talked only to me and the guys. Lauren was wearing a brand-new red-and-white bikini, and I could see Evan and Guy paying attention when she took off her cover-up.
Waiting for Diana to apologize, I held my breath. I was afraid she wouldn’t do it in front of Evan and Guy. I could see her nervously playing with the fringe on her beach bag again. The air between the three of us hung thick and heavy.
Diana cleared her throat. “Hey, Lauren.”
Blue Autumn Cruise Page 5
