by KB Winters
Red shrugged, attempting to remain neutral between Colin and me. “We’re all very confused here, Flynn,” he said. “Just trying to find out what happened. One of ours was killed, and we’re looking for some answers.”
I could respect that. Understand it. But what I couldn’t respect was the way Colin looked at me, as if he had this all figured out and had already found me guilty.
“I dunno what happened. Sean was scared shitless. He just cried like a fuckin’ bitch, swearin’ he was as good as dead anyway. He begged me to kill him. Begged me to put the gun right between his fuckin’ eyes and put him out of his misery. Somethin’ just wasn’t right about all that shite. The guilty don’t beg to die, they plead to live. The kid was innocent in my book, and I figured it was all in due time before whoever he was scared of caught up with him. Why the fuck would I kill him, huh? I had no fuckin’ proof that he was the rat. Only Colin’s suspicions, yet that fucker is nailin’ me—his fuckin’ blood—to the cross right fuckin’ now!”
“Who would be after him? He had the protection of the syndicate. It doesn’t make fuckin’ sense, Flynn,” Colin sneered.
“The fuck would I know, Colin? He was a soldier. You were closer to him than I was, aye? Besides, after what happened to his brother, I doubt our protection meant much to him. Or would you prefer to forget that, Colin?” I snapped. “He said he figured he was a dead man anyway since we all thought he was a rat. Maybe it was too much for him.”
The room went silent. Neil Malone, Sean’s brother, was a snitch. After some stupid drug charges threatened to put him behind bars, he’d talked to the cops. And yes, it had gotten him killed. I ordered Colin to tend to Neil personally, and it got out of hand. A little too out of hand. Instead of just doin’ him a solid and blowin’ his brains out—the courtesy Sean had been afforded—Colin let his balls drop and had too much enjoyment torturing Neil beforehand. The torture lasted for days, but Colin got sloppy, and in the course of it all, he’d almost let Neil get away. Ended up gunning him down in an alleyway before he could escape. It was a feckin’ mess.
“Or maybe that’s just some story you made up, man?” Colin replied.
“You really think I’d kill a member without just cause?” I asked, feeling completely frustrated.
Colin pressed. “Let’s not lie and pretend you don’t have some anger issues of your own, Flynn.”
Clenching my jaw, I tried to remain calm. I couldn’t prove him right. That was what he wanted. He wanted to bait me into blowing up. I knew my cousin like the back of my hand, and he wanted me to lose my temper. In front of everybody. I didn’t know what game he was playing, but I sure as fuck wasn’t going to let him win.
Which was why I took a few deep breaths before responding again, turning the tables on him.
“After you brought your concerns to the table, Colin?” I quirked my brow. Colin didn’t breathe a word. He scanned the faces of men cautiously before turning his gaze back to me.
“You’re the boss, Flynn. It was simply feelers, the rat could be any of these blokes.”
“You put those fuckin’ doubts in me head, so I handled it like any boss would. I went right to the man in question himself.” I paused, standin’ tall as I spoke to the men of the syndicate. “If I’d thought for one second that Sean was a rat, I’d had turned his lights out without even questioning him. I don’t care to get someone’s fuckin’ blood on my hands, but I’ll only do so when necessary.” I slammed my fist down against the large oak table, driving my point home.
“I would never betray the syndicate—my brotherhood. No matter what.” I pulled the switchblade knife out of my pocket, admiring the reflection of the silver. “But do not mistake my loyalty to you as weakness. If I smell a rat bastard in any of you mother fuckers, I’ll cut ya fuckin’ heart out.” I forced the blade into the oak, cutting the palm of my hand intentionally. I brought my hand up to my nose and inhaled, then rubbed the smooth, sanguine liquid between my fingers before pointing and declaring, “Especially you, Colin.”
Colin’s face paled before flaming crimson red, the tension between the two of us so thick it could be cut with a damn knife. Colin was on his feet within a matter of seconds, the Glock 9mm pulled from his shoulder holster, cocked back and ready to fire. His jaw was clenched tight, and the vein in his neck was pulsing rapidly as sweat beaded down his cheeks.
“Aye, and I’d be there with the fuckin’ gun in hand ready to kill any of us fuckers who betrayed the other. We’re a brotherhood first, above all.” Colin’s voice never wavered as he spoke, and his gaze never left mine. He was redeeming himself among the soldiers, proving his loyalty although he was the one who’d questioned Sean’s and ultimately, quite possibly, cost him his life. Colin knew the weight he’d bring down on himself if he didn’t react accordingly in this instance. I just wanted to goad him into a reaction, just as he’d done with me.
Red spoke up, interrupting our pissin’ match. “Boss, shite’s gettin’ outta hand. Everyone needs to calm the fuck down now.” His voice grew louder with each word spoken. When neither Colin nor I stood down, Red forced himself between us. “Let’s have a seat, lads. The soldiers see ya reacting this way with each other, and they could be swayed to see a kink in ya armor. Now’s not the time to show any fuckin’ weakness.” Red spoke low so only Colin and I could hear. Always the voice of fuckin’ reason.
We all sat down, and I brought the meeting back to order.
“We don’t doubt you have the best interests of the syndicate in mind, Flynn. We were just thinking maybe things got a little out of hand? Maybe he tried to fight back?”
“Not at all,” I said calmly. “I leaned on him and scared the piss out of him. But when I left, I left without leaving so much as a mark on him. He was alive but scared. Scared enough that had he been a snitch, I suspected he’d run.”
“But he couldn’t run, could he? Because someone blew his brains out,” Colin snapped, yet thought better of his tone. He pushed his hands out, conceding. “Not saying it’s you, Flynn. But someone did. That much is a fact.”
“And if we do find out it’s one of our own,” Red said softly, “we’ll do what needs to be done.”
“Of course. I’d expect no less,” I said, staring at Colin as I spoke. “Because killing one of our own without a vote is an automatic death sentence. We all know that. And whether he was a snitch or not, Sean was one of our own.”
“Yes, yes, he was,” Colin said, softly, looking down at his hands as he spoke.
Once the meeting–or inquisition, however you chose to view it–ended and the group parted ways, I called Colin over to talk to me. He looked around, almost like he didn’t dare find himself alone with me, but I looked at him evenly and without the anger that was coursing through my veins.
“It’s okay,” I assured him.
Reluctantly, he took a seat across from me, his hands balled tightly into fists, his eyes burning bright with anger.
“What’s going on, Colin?”
“What do you mean?” he asked me, licking his lips, but not meeting my gaze.
“With this Sean business,” I said. “One minute you’re telling me you think he’s a snitch and deserves to die, the next minute you’re accusing me of killing him. What the hell is up with that, man? Do you really think I would have done something without just cause?”
Colin sighed. “No, I just–well, I’m taking his death hard, man. My mind is all fucked up right now. I mean, I still think he’s the snitch and he needed to be dealt with. But to know that stupid kid is dead? It just messed with me, you know?”
“He was a stupid kid,” I said, feeling my own grief about his passing. “Just a stupid fucking kid but a good kid at heart who had no one but us.”
“We were good to him,” Colin said.
I shrugged. I wouldn’t consider what we did to his brother as being good to him, but we did our best to take care of him. Even after the incident. A lot of syndicates would have never trusted him and would have
sent him packing straightaway. Or even worse after what had gone down with his brother. But not us. Sean was one of us and had been since he was a fourteen-year-old kid with freckles and braces who tailed after us, desperate to be a member. He’d found his way to us shortly after his parents died, leaving Neil to take care of him.
Neil and Sean ended up with us, running errands and doing odd jobs for the syndicate before joining officially.
And now they were both gone.
“I just hope wherever he’s at, he’s at peace,” I said. “He deserves that much after the shitty life he had.”
“You can say that again,” Colin said, finally looking up at me. “So, are we good, man? I’m sorry about all that shit I said, I was just dealing with his loss in my own way, a bad way. I know I didn’t handle it very well.”
I tried to read Colin’s facial expression, but his face was blank, as usual. At least that’s the way he came off to most people. I knew him better than that, though, and I knew he was emotionally unstable. I knew I’d have to keep an eye on him, watch how he dealt with all of this, and make sure he didn’t do anything stupid while grieving the loss of a brother. But this was Colin, and no matter what stupid shit he pulled, I knew there was no way I could stay mad at him.
“Yeah, we’re good, brother,” I said, reaching out and taking his hand in mine, giving it a good shake. “We’re good.”
Eighteen
Flynn
My phone rang, and for a split second, I prayed it was Ava. Hearing her voice would brighten what had been a really shitty day so far. I sighed, though. It was the wrong phone ringing. This was one of my burner phones rather than my personal line. I answered, not sure what to expect from the other end of the line.
“Flynn?” a thick Russian accent asked me.
“Well hello to you too, Isaak,” I said, leaning back in my seat.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on. With everything else going on and my head a clusterfuck, dealing with Isaak was the last thing I wanted or needed. But what else could I do? Business was business.
“No time for small talk, O’Brien,” Isaak said. “Did you find your snitch and deal with him?”
“We questioned someone, yes, but sadly, he didn’t make it through the night,” I said softly. I was purposely vague, hoping it would put his mind at ease somewhat to think it had been dealt with.
Isaak shot back quickly. “It wasn’t him.”
“And how can we be so sure?” I asked. “Did you question him yourself?”
I wondered how he could have been so sure about it. Had they perhaps followed me to Sean’s house? And if so, what did they find out? Were they the ones who’d killed him?
“Because you said he died last night, right?” Isaak said, his voice filled with irritation. “Your snitch was already up bright and early this morning, phoning the police.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“There was another bust. Just now. And only you, me, and a few of your men knew when and where it was going down, O’Brien,” he snapped. “So, that narrows the field. Exponentially, I’d say. The details of the deal were only disclosed this morning after your so-called snitch was already dead.”
My heart jumped at the same time my stomach dropped into my shoes. This was a bigger bust, one with some of my guys present. I opened my eyes and stared across the empty room, trying to think of who all was there–some old-timers, some of our most loyal members. Members who’d joined while my father had just been getting started.
The fact that the cops had made a bust like that would not bode well for the syndicate, not at all.
“Who was arrested?” I asked.
“Everyone. Your guys, my guys–everyone who was there. Nobody got out.”
“Shit,” I muttered to myself.
“Fix this, O’Brien. Fix it fast, because we’ve just lost half a million dollars in weapons, not to mention the fact that now we’re down six good men.”
“We lost men too, Isaak.”
“I know. And your crew won’t be too happy about that, which means you might be willing to do something about your problem now.”
And with that, Isaak hung up, leaving the other end of the phone line dead. Not that I had much more to say to him. Truth be told, I was glad to be off the phone. I sighed and leaned back in my chair. My headache was getting stronger and the day was getting shitter by the moment.
“God dammit.” I slammed my fist against the table top, the wood cracking beneath my fist.
Someone was obviously talking to the cops. Either on Isaak’s side or mine. And I had to find out soon, or else my own syndicate would turn it into a witch hunt. No one wanted to be working with a snitch. No one. And if this situation wasn’t dealt with swiftly and harshly, things were about to get really ugly, really fast.
My personal phone rang. This time it was Ava. But not even that fact could wipe away the metric ton of shit that had just fallen on my head.
“Hey,” I said, trying to force a smile on my face. Even talking to her, knowing what I did, made that hard. And I realized that just being with me put her in harm’s way. And I sure as hell didn’t want that. I really didn’t want to, but for her sake, I knew I needed to keep my distance.
“I thought maybe I scared you away for good,” I said, trying to keep my tone light.
Ava laughed, a sound that tugged at my insides in a good way. “No, I just had to be at work, silly,” she said. “I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful. Even if you do snore like a sasquatch.”
“Aye. And I’d have been more peaceful waking up to a kiss from you, sweetheart,” I said. “But it’s funny that you mention it because you were snoring so loud, it startled me awake several times last night.”
“Can I see you, Ian?” she asked, her voice coming out slightly meeker than usual. “Please? Can we get together for lunch or something soon?”
Her pleading made my heart ache and yet hope blossomed within me at the same time. I knew it was dangerous to be with her with everything that was going on. I knew I should stay away from her, to protect her. To keep her safe. But Ava made me head fuckin’ crazy, and all thoughts where she was concerned were misconstrued and tangled. I didn’t know which way was up or fuckin’ down.
Though, as I gave it a more thought, I wasn’t sure what I was keeping her safe from.
It wasn’t like the syndicate knew about her. Nor had I done anything wrong. But ultimately, I felt the need to protect her, not from outsiders, but from the worst evil of them all–me.
“I dunno, Ava, I have a lot going on.”
“Did I do something wrong?” her voice quavered, and it sounded like she was going to cry.
Please, no, don’t cry, I thought to myself. Don’t do that.
“Not at all, my sweet Ava,” I said, my voice softer. “I’ve just got a lot going on at work right now.”
“Oh,” she said. And while it was just a simple word, it held so much weight. “I see. Okay, I see– wow, I’m sorry for calling, I just thought–”
She thought I used and was tossin’ her ass aside after sleeping with her. She didn’t come right out and say it, but I knew that’s what she was thinking. I knew it because I’d done it countless times before with other women. But that wasn’t the case. Not with her. Not even close. But how could I make her see that? How could I make her believe me?
“No, you were right to call, sweetheart,” I said, closing my eyes again. I tried to bite back the words even as they popped into my head. But before I could stop myself, I said, “Let’s meet for lunch, okay? Maybe I need to step away and take a break from all this work. Might do me some good, aye?”
Her voice sounded instantly happier. Lighter. “Yes, that sounds wonderful.”
This time, I let her pick the place. I wasn’t sure I should be doing this at all. I didn’t think it was a good idea. Ava was a good girl, someone who deserved better than the likes of me. She should have a dutiful
husband who actually worked as a business executive and made an honest living. She should have a man who didn’t have Russians threatening to kill him or expose her to the risk my lifestyle entailed. She should have a man whose business dealings wouldn’t fall back on her one day and get her killed–just like it did my mum.
But before I could put a stop to it, she’d hung up and the date was set.
I had an hour. Fuckin’ Great.
***
We met up near the pier at a casual food truck that was parked by the side of the road. Nothing fancy this time. I saw Ava standing near the water, her hair blowing in the wind. She wore it down, letting the waves fall over her shoulders. She didn’t see me at first, but I saw her. And as always—I was captivated by her.
I stood there looking at her, trying to talk myself out of going to her. I knew I should leave. For her own sake. Sure, it would hurt her–hell, it would hurt me–but not for the first time. I mentally kicked myself. What the fuck was I thinkin’ when I started seeing someone like her?
She deserved better. She deserved far better than I could ever be for her. She didn’t even know who I was, how could she expect to have any kind of relationship with a bloke like me?
My feet were listening to me heart, not me brain, and I walked up and leaned against the banister next to her and stared out at Lake Michigan.
“I thought you might not come,” she said, her voice soft. Her hair hid her face from view.
“I thought I might not come either,” I said, though it pained me to admit the truth. “But I’m here. And I’m here happily because I adore you, Ava. And I wanted you to know that. I wanted to show you that.”
She turned to me at last, tears glimmering in her eyes. “Then why would you not want to see me?”
I pulled her to me and kissed the tip of her nose, then her cheeks–which were wet with tears, and then finally her lips. Anything to stop her from crying. Anything at all.
“There’s just so much you don’t know about, sweetheart,” I whispered, scared to be even skirting the edges of the truth like that. “So much I can’t fuckin’ tell you.”
